Halloween situation

[QueenOfTheMeadow]

So, ds1 is 13 and on the spectrum.  He's pretty high functioning, and his main issues at this point deal with social skills.  He gets really easily overexcited and then he gets really loud and goofy.  It tends to annoy other kids his age.  His older cousins, who are pretty good with him, have asked him to join them for their Halloween scene they do every year.  They have this big elaborate set up in front of their house and everyone in the neighborhood comes to see it.  Ds1 is soooo excited to be included, and I'm really excited for him too.  The only problem is that I won't be there for a good amount of the time, because I'll be taking the other boys out, and who wants their mom to be hanging around.  I am considering asking my niece, who rocks when dealing with ds1, to keep an eye on him.  I am concerned though that ds1 will be embarrassed, since now, he's finallly being included with the "big" kids.  But I also don't want to do things behind his back.  So, how would you handle the situation.

[tiqa]

Watching the thread, because although my son is only 5, I can see this sort of thing being an issue.  He's on the spectrum as well and acts the same as your son - very loud, excited, happy, goofy... and the other kids often get annoyed etc with him.  So I'll be reading the responses. :)

[Linda on the move]

I'd talk to the niece and I'd give my kid a heads up (because I agree about not going behind his back) but I might soften the truth. I don't understand the whole family situation/ages, but would it work for the niece to be there because it is a "happening" and she will enjoy it, but that she can be your son's "point person."

My ASD teen often gets overwhelmed, and she needs one person in every situation who really gets her and can give her a hand if she needs one. She knows this about herself, so she wouldn't be insulted by knowing her "point person" is. Whole groups are overwhelming for her - she needs one person.
 

[QueenOfTheMeadow]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move 

I'd talk to the niece and I'd give my kid a heads up (because I agree about not going behind his back) but I might soften the truth. I don't understand the whole family situation/ages, but would it work for the niece to be there because it is a "happening" and she will enjoy it, but that she can be your son's "point person."

My ASD teen often gets overwhelmed, and she needs one person in every situation who really gets her and can give her a hand if she needs one. She knows this about herself, so she wouldn't be insulted by knowing her "point person" is. Whole groups are overwhelming for her - she needs one person.
 

This is pretty much what I did.  She was actually part of the "scare team".  She was awesome and ds1 had a ball.  His older male cousin, who he used to butt heads with, came over and gave him a big hug afterwards, told him what a great job he did, and that he better plan on coming next year too.  It made me a bit teary eyed. 

I missed one of the funny moments during the evening though.  My sil sometimes forgets that ds1 also has an auditory processing disorder, so she was trying to talk to him with all this stuff going on around him.  So apparently she had this deep long conversation with him about what a great job he was diong, and to be sure not to scare the little kids, ect.  She so she was telling me this afterwards.  So on the way home, I said, "So I hear you and Auntie had a great talk."  Hesaid, "I have no idea what she was trying to tell me, but I just kept smiling and nodding."  Everyone in the car just lost it.