I suppose this is the exact opposite of shyness... My nearly 5 year old DD has absolutely no social boundaries. She's great at home or in a child setting, but she is way too bold. I discuss expectations with her (she's very verbal and intelligent) and she seems to "get it" but whenever we meet someone new, she not only won't stop talking to them but tries to hug and kiss them, and has even started to follow strangers, ignoring my requests (at first gentle, then stronger) to stop. Some people think it's cute that she's "precocious" and likes to talk to them, but it's seriously frustrating. An adult will acknowledge her and from then on she just wants to be the center of attention, talking NONSTOP to them, tries to go sit in their lap, tells them about everything in her life...
The other day I took her to a homebirth circle with a backpack full of toys and stuff to keep her occupied. There were only a few other adults there and no other kids, and at first she tried to follow the staff to the utility closet. I told her to stay with me, and she said no, she was going with them. These are people she met not two minutes before. Then when I finally got firm with her and told her to sit down, and the meeting started, she started sobbing that she didn't get to talk, and that the adults were having conversations other than about her. This was after everyone let her say hello, introduce herself, and asked her a few questions too to include her. But going in, she knew it wasn't going to be a meeting FOR her (even though kids were fine). Usually there are other kids to play with, but even if there wasn't, she is more than able to entertain herself with her books and crayons and such for a few minutes. It just bothered her that she wasn't the center of attention. She then gave the leader her favorite stuffed animal to keep and tried to sit in her lap. She ignored me and said she'd rather sit with this new person and go home with them. They were understanding and said she was cute, but I ended up leaving way early because she was just nutty, loud, and disrupting the meeting.
If it was a once in a while thing it wouldn't bother me, kids are kids, but she's this way with everyone - clerks, the taxi driver, the bus driver, the waitress... she just wants to go on and on about everything with them, give them her stuff, etc. But the worst is that she will just ignore me and my requests, etc. because I guess having other people say she's OK, and that she's cute, etc. laughing at her antics makes her bolder than normal... I'm normally pretty tolerant and easy going anyway, but sometimes rules are rules and that's that, and she doesn't get to ignore them just because we're among strangers.
It seems so strange to me. She was developing pretty typically up until the last year or so. She had separation anxiety as a baby, had a healthy attachment, etc. She has social outlets with other kids on a regular basis, and also went to daycare at different times where no one had a problem with her behavior whatsoever. She has never been particularly shy after about age 2, and would love talking to other people, but it's only in the last six months or so that her behavior has been so extreme. Is this a phase that will pass? I'm very aware of various AS disorders, as both my son and I are on the spectrum. She, however, seems perfectly typical in every other way... but this is really stumping me. I try to talk to her about strangers, friends, etc. - but everyone that says hello to her she seems to consider her new best friend.
HOW do I get her to cut this out? I don't want her to be UNfriendly, but ignoring what I say, speaking over me, and saying she's now going to go with the janitor to the basement because he said hello to her... that is completely unacceptable. =/