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1 year post C-section with complications

post #1 of 4
Thread Starter 

Well in honor of my son's 1st birthday nearing I would like to share my story...

 

I was in labor for 30 hrs. when my son was finally born... I had endured 4 epidurals 1 spinal and some fabulous (sarcasm) petocin... after 30 hours of nurses pleading with me about how strong I was and how amazing of a job I did and how I truely knew the meaning of "natural" and "medicated" childbirth... well without the vaginal delivery....

 

After all of this I thought... "wow that was quite the experience I did not imagine could happen" ... well things got even more interesting... 1 week post c-section (after waiting to go the dr since my son's newborn photos were scheduled) I returned to the birthing triage with some discharge of the incision. As I lay their an emotional wreck with the faucet of tears just flowing from my eyes, as my sister in law (whom was newly pregnant) watched... the dr's decided to open my incision back up... with a cotton swab...

 

This later turned into dressing changes/packing of my incision for 5 weeks... and lots of pain medicine like clockwork... a pharmacy worker telling my mother in law "well she has used way more medication than was prescribed we will not be able to fill her pain medicine"...

 

Let's just be honest... I have an amazing healthy baby boy... he is just the light of our lives... and I am so happy to be the mom of such a great little man... but the things that I had endured the first 6 weeks of his life... well I still wonder how I made it out alive... IF ever there was a new mom that was never diagnosed for "ppd" ... I am no doctor yet i am 95% sure I was full out of my mind.. I think back to the time that I was laying around (well since I had absolutely no energy from just being a new mom let alone dealing with the complications)... I think .. I was in such a bad place... I am one of the most bubbly and happy person most people have met... I am soooo positive and usually most say I am fun to be around... there is in no way of comparison of that person with the one I was at that time...

 

I have since decided that I would love to be an advocate for women in this situation.. I have the most amazing husband.. I am one truely lucky woman.. but nothing could get me out of that state of mind. I want no other woman to ever feel the way that I felt at that time.. It is supposed to be a happy and amazing time for a new mom with her new baby... this is not anything like I felt... Also, I find myself anticipating the next addition (someday) just to be able to really enjoy my time with the baby... enjoy my medical leave. Even if it is up all night..

 

This experience really tried my strength.. I did not nurse as long as I wanted since I was so far gone mentally that I needed to stop and be selfish in an attempt to feel like myself for once.. I hate myself for taking that away from my son... he deserves everything in this world and I wish I had mentally been able to deal with this better.

 

 

THis is my short version of the events that have happened in the last year of my life... I hope this helps me at least a little to cope further with the trauma I had endured.

 


thank you.  

post #2 of 4

I'm sorry for what you've been through.  I hope you're able to find healing.

post #3 of 4

Maxton,

 

You have been through so much. I am so sorry that your birth experience and your postpartum time wasn't what you hoped for or deserved. You sound like a woman of deep and incredible strength- I can hear your love for your child and your family vibrating through this harrowing story.

 

I too hope you find healing. I'm glad you found this board. Welcome.

post #4 of 4

Thank you for sharing your story and coming here for support!

 

grouphug.gif

 

I hope that your healing continues. Sharing our stories has been an important step in that process for many of us. And I know that sharing does help other women who have similar experiences. It takes courage to share, so good for you!

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