Sticking to a schedule!!

[MrsBone]

DH and I weren't in a great place a few months back but we are better than ever now. I was never able to rely on him as a steady parenting partner from the time our son was born almost 4 years ago now but things have greatly improved and for the first time since our kids came along I feel like I have a parenting partner. Needless to say I felt alone a lot in the beginning so I did what I needed to to get through the day. A schedule has never been much of a part of our day up until now. Now I know that if I've hit my limit for the day, DH will step in and it's been much easier to have a schedule now. I'm having hard time sticking to it though. I have realized that we all do our best if we're awake earlier in the morning rather than later. Like 6:30-7 am and then DS will go to bed around 8:30. DS is almost 4. DD who is 18 months does great with a schedule and is in bed by 8:30 and awake at 8. I wish I could get them both on the same schedule but that just doesn't work. DS only needs 10-10 1/2 hours sleep and no nap and DD needs 11 1/2 -12 hours at night and a 1 1/2-2 hour nap. This is the routine that I have started this week.
6:30-7- wake, brush teeth, get dressed, make bed
7:30-8 eat breakfast(I save some for dd who likes to eat right when she wakes)
8-8:30, mama does dishes,DS clears table,get DD dressed, brush her teeth, DS makes bed
8:30-9:30- play outside or inside with toys
9:30-12- errands or play dates or more free play intermixed with chores
12:15- lunch, clean up, DS takes out compost, mama cleans up
1-3(ideally)- nap/quiet time. Mama takes a short nap, gets on the computer while dd is sleeping and DS is playing the computer or reading books
3-3:30- snack time
3:30-5:30, more play, learning time with DS or walk to the park
5:30- mama prep dinner and play with the kids intermittently
7:00- dinner
7:45-8:15 daddy does bathtime, jammie's, brush teeth while mama does dishes and makes DH lunch.
8:30- I put DD to bed, DH puts DS to bed

Anyone have tips on sticking with it? If everything goes according to schedule, the day goes swimmingly, but as we all know not everyday goes according to plan, and if I want to get any major projects done(organizing something, working on a homeschool craft or deeper cleaning) the kids suffer. What do I do!? Safe the big stuff for the weekend?

[Learning_Mum]

I find the best thing is to not have such a rigid schedule because with young kids it's too hard to stick to. The best way I have found is to have more of a routine. So instead of having times listed for things it's easier to have a "flow" so for example, after breakfast you tidy up, after you tidy up is play time without being locked in to time limits. The only things I've always been rigid about times with are dinner time, bath time and bedtime and, now that the kids are at school and kindy, getting dressed in the morning and getting out the door.

[MrsGregory]

Oh yes, I agree that a routine is better than a strict schedule.  Myself, if I have a schedule and we're not on it, I am stressed out, which is no good for anyone.

At our house, it goes like so:

We wake up when we wake up.  Since we tend to be in bed at the same time every night, we assume that however much sleep we got was how much sleep we needed.  Sometimes we wake up as late as 9am.  Usually we're up shortly before 7pm.  (As an aside, I was setting an alarm clock for myself until recently.  A SAHM with a co-sleeping nursling that felt the need to set an alarm clock for 6:30am.  Don't be crazy like me.)

We eat breakfast.  If we have somewhere to be, we do this quickly.  Otherwise, we do this slowly.

We go out on an activity, or play date, or a walk.

We either run an errand or we play, with friends or at home.  If we're home, Mama uses this time to do her daily chores.

We eat lunch.  See note regarding breakfast with regards to speed of food consumption.

After lunch we chill out for a little bit and digest.  Then she naps.  During her nap I finish my chores or do whatever.

When she wakes up I give her a snack.  Don't tell her, but I've been slipping her vitamins into her snack.  Heh, I feel so smart for this!

After snack we start prepping dinner.

We eat dinner.

After dinner we go outside and play some more, or we play inside.  Mama usually retreats into the office for some Pinterest and wine at this point.

We bathe, read some books and all go to bed until she goes to sleep.  Then the adults finish the chores and watch violent television.

Repeat.

No times on anything, but I am getting MUCH, MUCH more done since I dropped the time frames and just went with a routine.  I used to have my day planned out in 30 minutes increments, in Excel.  I had printed copies hung around the house.  Really...  don't do it.  If you MUST attain some level of perfection, go for perfectly relaxed. 
 

Edited to add/  I schedule my housework by day.  So for example, on Mondays I clean the living room and the public bathroom.  Tuesdays, the kitchen and mop all the tile.  Wednesdays is groceries and Thursdays the master suite.  Fridays I do the other bedrooms.  If I have a play date or something needs to happen that will interfere with cleaning, I do the cleaning in advance, or I plan the activity on a light cleaning day, like Fridays.  This was I'm still "on top of things" and feel like I was adequately scheduled, but I am still able to be flexible and be with my friends.

Edited again to add in addition/  I do my deep cleaning throughout the year on Saturdays, when her Papa can watch her for a few hours.  My projects I just get to as I can... if she's having a good day, I work at a project.  If she's not, I don't.

I am still getting the hang of being this flexible.  But I like it!

Last edit, one hopes/  As Learning Mum said, the only scheduled events are things that are out of the house (Story Hour), playdates, nap time and bed time.  Everything else happens when it happens.

[Kaydove]

Originally Posted by MrsGregory 

Oh yes, I agree that a routine is better than a strict schedule.  Myself, if I have a schedule and we're not on it, I am stressed out, which is no good for anyone.

At our house, it goes like so:

We wake up when we wake up.  Since we tend to be in bed at the same time every night, we assume that however much sleep we got was how much sleep we needed.  Sometimes we wake up as late as 9am.  Usually we're up shortly before 7pm.  (As an aside, I was setting an alarm clock for myself until recently.  A SAHM with a co-sleeping nursling that felt the need to set an alarm clock for 6:30am.  Don't be crazy like me.)

We eat breakfast.  If we have somewhere to be, we do this quickly.  Otherwise, we do this slowly.

We go out on an activity, or play date, or a walk.

We either run an errand or we play, with friends or at home.  If we're home, Mama uses this time to do her daily chores.

We eat lunch.  See note regarding breakfast with regards to speed of food consumption.

After lunch we chill out for a little bit and digest.  Then she naps.  During her nap I finish my chores or do whatever.

When she wakes up I give her a snack.  Don't tell her, but I've been slipping her vitamins into her snack.  Heh, I feel so smart for this!

After snack we start prepping dinner.

We eat dinner.

After dinner we go outside and play some more, or we play inside.  Mama usually retreats into the office for some Pinterest and wine at this point.

We bathe, read some books and all go to bed until she goes to sleep.  Then the adults finish the chores and watch violent television.

Repeat.

No times on anything, but I am getting MUCH, MUCH more done since I dropped the time frames and just went with a routine.  I used to have my day planned out in 30 minutes increments, in Excel.  I had printed copies hung around the house.  Really...  don't do it.  If you MUST attain some level of perfection, go for perfectly relaxed. 
 

Edited to add/  I schedule my housework by day.  So for example, on Mondays I clean the living room and the public bathroom.  Tuesdays, the kitchen and mop all the tile.  Wednesdays is groceries and Thursdays the master suite.  Fridays I do the other bedrooms.  If I have a play date or something needs to happen that will interfere with cleaning, I do the cleaning in advance, or I plan the activity on a light cleaning day, like Fridays.  This was I'm still "on top of things" and feel like I was adequately scheduled, but I am still able to be flexible and be with my friends.

Edited again to add in addition/  I do my deep cleaning throughout the year on Saturdays, when her Papa can watch her for a few hours.  My projects I just get to as I can... if she's having a good day, I work at a project.  If she's not, I don't.

I am still getting the hang of being this flexible.  But I like it!

Last edit, one hopes/  As Learning Mum said, the only scheduled events are things that are out of the house (Story Hour), playdates, nap time and bed time.  Everything else happens when it happens.

Girlfriend, so glad you ditched the excel sheet and the alarm clock! That is CRAZY!

I'm needing some sort of routine, too many times I look at the clock and think where did the day go? Mopping has become a huge acheivment, especially with adult step daughter moved back to Florida, so my help is gone! I was so spoiled! Atleast DH understands, he did baby duty while I made dinner the other night, after working 13 hours that day and trying to finish a few emails, and was so overwhelmed! Girls intense.

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[newmamalizzy]

Hilarious that I was just about to open up Excel to create a schedule.  I LOVE creating schedules!!!! I never stick to them, but boy are they fun to make :) 

To the OP, I agree with others here that it helps to have little routines built into the day, so you can cue them up and play them like a tape.  So when you wake up, cue Morning Routine (i.e. story, make coffee, eat breakfast, clean up, get everyone dressed...), etc.  I try to do housework in a regular way, too, so DD knows what to expect.  Like, when I want to really clean the kitchen, I set DD up to "wash her dishes" in the kitchen sink.  When I vacuum, she gets the Light Saber (um, vacuum wand) and her toy Dyson, which are only brought out when I vacuum.  So those are like little routines, too.  If you want to try to do some of those bigger projects during the day, I highly recommend setting up some sort of little routine for that task so that it becomes part of the kids' playtime rather than another thing you need to do that takes time away from the kids.

[erinmattsmom88]

Oh yes, I agree that a routine is better than a strict schedule. Myself, if I have a schedule and we're not on it, I am stressed out, which is no good for anyone.

At our house, it goes like so:

We wake up when we wake up. Since we tend to be in bed at the same time every night, we assume that however much sleep we got was how much sleep we needed. Sometimes we wake up as late as 9am. Usually we're up shortly before 7pm. (As an aside, I was setting an alarm clock for myself until recently. A SAHM with a co-sleeping nursling that felt the need to set an alarm clock for 6:30am. Don't be crazy like me.)

We eat breakfast. If we have somewhere to be, we do this quickly. Otherwise, we do this slowly.

We go out on an activity, or play date, or a walk.

We either run an errand or we play, with friends or at home. If we're home, Mama uses this time to do her daily chores.

We eat lunch. See note regarding breakfast with regards to speed of food consumption.

After lunch we chill out for a little bit and digest. Then she naps. During her nap I finish my chores or do whatever.

When she wakes up I give her a snack. Don't tell her, but I've been slipping her vitamins into her snack. Heh, I feel so smart for this!

After snack we start prepping dinner.

We eat dinner.

After dinner we go outside and play some more, or we play inside. Mama usually retreats into the office for some Pinterest and wine at this point.

We bathe, read some books and all go to bed until she goes to sleep. Then the adults finish the chores and watch violent television.

Repeat.

No times on anything, but I am getting MUCH, MUCH more done since I dropped the time frames and just went with a routine. I used to have my day planned out in 30 minutes increments, in Excel. I had printed copies hung around the house. Really... don't do it. If you MUST attain some level of perfection, go for perfectly relaxed.

Edited to add/ I schedule my housework by day. So for example, on Mondays I clean the living room and the public bathroom. Tuesdays, the kitchen and mop all the tile. Wednesdays is groceries and Thursdays the master suite. Fridays I do the other bedrooms. If I have a play date or something needs to happen that will interfere with cleaning, I do the cleaning in advance, or I plan the activity on a light cleaning day, like Fridays. This was I'm still "on top of things" and feel like I was adequately scheduled, but I am still able to be flexible and be with my friends.

Edited again to add in addition/ I do my deep cleaning throughout the year on Saturdays, when her Papa can watch her for a few hours. My projects I just get to as I can... if she's having a good day, I work at a project. If she's not, I don't.

I am still getting the hang of being this flexible. But I like it!

Last edit, one hopes/ As Learning Mum said, the only scheduled events are things that are out of the house (Story Hour), playdates, nap time and bed time. Everything else happens when it happens.

This is us. No schedule, so to speak.

Love this... "We bathe, read some books and all go to bed until she goes to sleep. Then the adults finish the chores and watch violent television."

This had me

[MrsGregory]

Haha, glad I could bring some levity to everyone's day!

I like the idea of making the chores a part of the child(ren)'s play time.  I've been toying with the idea of getting Little Miss her own broom and pan, her own toy vacuum, and letting her "help", since she wants to be right there in the action anyway. 

[MrsBone]

Thanks everyone. I didn't put the time slots because I try and stick to the times persay, it's just around the times that things happen. I find that my children are happier and more well behaved if they know what to expect. Today for example, we woke late but instead of throwing everything into the crapper, we continued with our day as usual and the kids did pretty good still. The only difference was that we met my mom and sister for lunch and then all went out for some shopping and ended up skipping DD's nap altogether. She napped in th car for about 20 minutes and was in bed a half hour early. Not to shabby. I stuck to the nighttime routine despite the disruption of the day. I guess I'm doing pretty good I just am sort of an all or nothing person and it seems like if I'm not doing it perfectly then what's the point? Lol

[MrsGregory]

Aha, another perfectionist.  I've been working on letting go.  So for me, that means being perfectly relaxed.  Yeah, I stress out about not stressing out.  It's an art form, I tell you.

Your routine looks good.  Another little tip?  Make friends that aren't planners.  Pick women that will tolerate you, understand you... but still not plan.  I've had to back off a few friendships because they were waaaaay, waaaaaaaaay too lucy goosey, but I've met one woman who is very "go with the flow" but in a way I can get on board with... and it's really, really, really helped me feel human, and not like a completely crazy schedule-keeping floor-mopping "Perfect Housewife" robot. 

Go Mrs. Bone, go!