Hello, I am new here. This post can be moved if not in the right Category.
Trying to find answers for my sons recent behavior. To make a long story long...... My son is 10 yr old. Straight A student, border line gifted, in accelerated program in school but didn't make gifted program. He is a very well behaved, respectful young man. We get complements all the time about how good both our kids are from teachers and other parents. Recently (past 2 months maybe), he seems troubled. Maybe even depressed.
We are trying to figure out what has triggered his behavior. He is a very deep thinker. He puts unnecessary presser on himself to do things perfect, and to be a good person. He says please and thank you waay too much. (You might think, is that even possible?). He started bringing up things he had done in the past, questioning if it was bad or not. I did this or said that, was that bad? One recent example, he didn't say Hello to a kid he knows from school that he saw at the grocery store. He comes to me very emotional and asks me if it is bad or not. He questions nearly every thing he does. Like should I put this here, should I say that, like he doesn't want to make a mistake. On top of all the questions and wanting to do the right thing, he is very emotional about it.
When the emotional problems began, he had just started wrestling training (3 nights a week), which is new to him and difficult. He has played baseball and football for a couple year, all with his same group of friends. Wrestling is outside of this group, so originally when he would break down in tears at wrestling and we would talk about it he said it wasn't the wrestling and he didn't know what was wrong. I believed it could be social anxiety, because this is the first time he was doing something without his group of friends. He said he was actually fine when they actually would wrestle because he was kept busy, but when there was a lull he would have time to think and worry that he was going to cry and others might see him, which would then overwelm him, and if he had to talk (to answer a question) he would break down.
My husband and I noticed that when the coaches would critic him on his moves, he thinks they are telling him he is bad, yelling at him. They are not. Now the coach is an Olympic Champion in Wrestling and told us that he has never seen someone this good after a few days of training in all of his years. So we tell our son how impressed he is with him and that they critic him because they see his potential. But he only focuses on where he places his foot and if this or that is perfect and doesn't understand that he is learning and doesn't have to be perfect.
Another new thing is that he recently started going to Bible Release Program from school. We aren't church goers, but we believe and talk about God at home and listen to Christian radio. I don't know if that has had an impact on him possibly. He asked me if it was bad if he didn't read the Bible cover to cover? Would that keep him from going to Heaven? Now was that a simple question, because they talked about it at Bible release or something more?
He has been and emotional mess, and don't know what is the true source. There is soo much to fit into all this typing, I hope I made sense here. I just feel helpless. Why is he on this quest for perfection? Why does the smallest decision make him emotional?