$1000/mo short :( - Page 2

[pek64]

Go see a credit counselor!! They know what options you have that are specific to your state and locality, if you're in the US.

We live in PA, and qualified for state assistance making our mortgage payments. We had to be on track for additional income in the future, and there are many who get turned down. Still, don't discount options that have potential. A credit counselor would also know if there are other programs that you may qualify for. Or can help you get your disability payments resumed. They are familiar with the various beaurocracies. Their job is to be up to date on the options. Also, they often have additional ideas for what you can do.

[crunchy_mommy]

OK so we cannot get through with the disability office. I don't know what is wrong with their phone system but we've been trying for a LONG time to call (like 2 months now...) and they haven't responded to email. Apparently they must be overloaded or something, we'll keep trying, but I'm not holding out for any help in the immediate future.

The medical expenses are on-going, not old bills/debts or anything -- it's copays, premiums, etc. that just really add up for us. We do not have any debt besides the mortgage & student loans... I assumed credit counselors were more for cc debt & other loans? Curious if they could help in our situation.

I guess I am overwhelmed. There are lots of good ideas here but I'm not quite sure where to start, what to do first. I get discouraged when I look at assistance programs because we are always just above the cut-off and I don't know who to contact to find out if there are exceptions and I don't know how to access some of these regional/local programs you guys are talking about (I don't know if they simply don't exist, or if they just aren't well-publicized). Last time we applied for a program we spent a LOT of time & money on phone calls, postage, making copies, etc. and it ultimately felt like a waste of our already-scarce resources. I don't understand why it is so hard.

[pek64]

When we met with the credit counselors, they each (we met with two) had different suggestions for where they thought expenses could be cut. They also knew about assistance programs and who qualifies. They let us know they could assist with loan deferments. We thought we could handle it, so we were given the appropriate phone numbers and words to say that would have clearer meaning to those we were talking to. It involves money, so it can't hurt to meet. You'll have to bring a couple months worth of info or actual bills. We brought a list of our bills and what was paid plus cash expenses. We were sent away the first time with information and a plan, because we had too much savings to qualify for any assistance. The second time the savings was gone and there was more they could help us with.

[elus0814]

Since you keep mentioning that you're just above the cut off levels for lots of assistance programs what about your husband cutting back his hours to just regular full time so you will qualify? Even if it all evens out he will still be home more often which would be less stressful for all of you.

[Mulvah]

You need to get together with your (new?) doctor and discuss disability if you are truly unable to work.  That would be my first priority.  Though, I am assuming that would clear up your $1000 hole each month.  If not, definitely apply for any benefits even if you are not eligible on paper. 

Are you willing to move to a lower cost of living area?  Does your husband's company have other locations?  Is it possible he could transfer to a different area?  Is it possible he could work from home with the same company just in a different area?  If that isn't an option, you should definitely discuss having your husband look for employment elsewhere in an area that does not have a high cost of living.  If that isn't an option for some reason, is it possible to rent a place in a lower cost of living area outside of the main area and have your husband commute a little further? 

[lovelysunlight]

Everybody has had some really good suggestions. Maybe you could post your monthly bills/budget & see if anyone had some suggestions?

Is there any way that you could have a yard sale? Yes, I know that it may sound a little silly, but if you have extra things lying around and you can Craigslist/yard sale them, that is some sort of relief for the moment. My aunt is on a fixed income and had a huge yard sale a couple months ago and made enough to pay all of her utility bills for a month, which allowed her to save some extra for other things.

Can you or your husband go back to school? It may be hard for your husband if he is already stretched thin. But you could go back, even online. I am disabled as well, but am going to school in January (online) through our local community college. I will use that extra FAFSA money to pay off bills that were collected during my illness  hospitalization.

Also, depending on your health situation, there may be certain programs you can apply for through your doctors offices -- or at least they may be able to point you in the right direction. There are some for me, but we haven't had to take advantage of them (yet).

Donating plasma is an excellent idea, and as a Leukemia patient, I am so very thankful for those who donate plasma & blood. I have had well over 200 transfusions since last November.

As for disability/SSI, definitely get up with your doctors office and get that straightened out ASAP. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me!

[crunchy_mommy]

So my new doctor told me to reapply for disability and he would approve it. But because my previous claim lapsed I may not be eligible anymore, so I'm still waiting to find out. If it gets reinstated, that will make up the shortfall and we'll be fine for about 1/2 a year. It's still a big IF and it takes forever for them to process & notify me.

The bad news is, we are really struggling with the mortgage, and the program we applied to for help is saying we are ineligible because of our savings. But what they don't seem to get is that when the savings run out, we are totally, completely stuck. I was hoping they'd be able to work something out with us to lower our payments or something (we can't do a traditional refinance since we are so far underwater) so it would be more sustainable in the long term.

So now I'm thinking, we could short-sale the house (every third house on our street is for sale so I'm not very optimistic we'll get any offers). The house feels a little run-down but I don't want to put more work & money into it since we need to hold on to every last cent. At what point do we just walk away??? I can't even believe I'm considering that, it goes against every moral fiber within me, but we simply cannot afford to stay here, cannot afford to eat up the last of our savings when we could use that money to relocate... For personal reasons, moving would be beneficial as well, someone who I don't want contacting me knows where I live & recently showed up at my house. It seems like all signs are pointing to MOVE. Our finances would be in way better shape, we'd be in a small apartment which would probably be more manageable to keep clean & tidy, we could find somewhere closer to friends/therapy/etc. so we'd save a ton on gas, all around it could be a good thing... aside from the fact that we'd be leaving the mortgage company completely in the lurch, and I don't feel right about it at all.

I feel sick. We've had an incredibly rough weekend and it's just been bad news piled on top of more bad news. I can't handle the financial stress on top of everything else. I am losing hope. I just want to get to a sustainable place financially, where I don't have to have a panic attack because DH bought the wrong brand of milk so cost us an extra $0.50. We aren't in dire straits yet, we do have the savings still, but we are living as if it's already gone, if that makes sense.

Just one little thing in my life needs to go right. I can't take it anymore, it's too much.

[salr]

[MrsGregory]

crunchy_mommy, can you take a boarder?  It certainly would not be ideal, but I can tell you that as a single, professional woman living in your area 10 years ago, I would have paid about 1/2 of the total budget shortage for a room and bathroom and kitchen privileges.  I didn't see this suggestion upthread (I may have missed it).

Hold on, hang in there.  It's not comfort, it's not even good advice, but it's what you've got.  I have been where you have been.  Just keep going.   
 

[weliveintheforest]

Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy 
 The house feels a little run-down but I don't want to put more work & money into it since we need to hold on to every last cent. At what point do we just walk away??? I can't even believe I'm considering that, it goes against every moral fiber within me, but we simply cannot afford to stay here, cannot afford to eat up the last of our savings when we could use that money to relocate... For personal reasons, moving would be beneficial as well, someone who I don't want contacting me knows where I live & recently showed up at my house. It seems like all signs are pointing to MOVE. 

In your situation, I believe I would let the house go, and worry about my credit down the road when I was healthy.  I'm not sure the best way to go about that, but I hope something works out, and quickly

[crunchy_mommy]

I don't think we can take a boarder, we aren't in a convenient location for a student and I doubt anyone would want to live here unless they were really desperate, and I have severe anxiety plus PTSD so having someone I don't know in my home terrifies me, but I have to think on that more.

I've been looking at apartments on Craigslist and am kind of shocked at how much rents have gone up in the past 5 years or so. I don't know if we could even afford a cheap apartment, it's not all that much less than our mortgage payment!!

All this time I've been most focused on the mortgage but really, the medical expenses, insurance premiums, etc. are what's doing us in. I don't really see a way around that.

We will be OK for awhile longer, and I am going to work on selling more things on CL etc. but I am having a horrible time figuring out a long-term plan. One minute it makes the most sense to walk away from the house, and the next I'm wondering how we could afford to live in an apartment!!

My head is spinning and I'm so convinced I'm just missing one small thing that would make everything fall into place.

[pek64]

A credit couselor may be able to help you identify that one small thing. If you create a spreadsheet or document of all your income and all your expenses, he/she wouldn't need to see actual bills, so there's no worry about account numbers. We had to meet with a credit counselor, and it was a pleasant experience. She knew we were trying our best, and she treated us respectfully the entire time.

I wish you well.

[SweetSilver]

Reexamine your insurance coverage on your house, if you haven't done that.  Same for any vehicles.  Make sure deductibles are not too low (nor too high) and the coverage amount is right (our house insurance tends to get out of hand about every 3 years or so.  They calculate according to construction costs, but their calculations have become absurdly high several times.  Depending on your loan, they might demand a certain amount of coverage, but check.)  On cars, we felt comfortable dropping the insurance down to basic coverage once the vehicles got a bit older.  The nice thing about adjustments to your coverage, you not only enjoy a lower premium, but you get a refund check as well (usually small, though).

Look for an insurance broker.  They might be able to find a better health plan that fits your needs.  You do not pay them, they get a finder's fee from insurance companies. 

Talk to your lender about your finances.  They are not interested in having you lose your house.  They do not hunger after foreclosures--they are a pain in the butt for them as well as you.  While they might not have any refinancing options, they could come up with something to help in the short term.

In the short term, hit the food banks, check out services from the Salvation Army and other charity organizations and churches.  

Unfortunately for the suggestion of reapplying for state aid, there is often limitations on how often you can apply.  For our state-subsidized health insurance, if you don't qualify you get bumped to the bottom of the waiting list (3-5 years right now.)  There might be restrictions on other aid as well.  Worth checking into, though.

[MrsGregory]

I really understand the stress of having a boarder.  From the other side (I rented an older woman's upstairs when I was single.), I can only advise you that the boarded will probably be nearly as uncomfortable with you at first, and will appreciate if you can just be very up-front about your concerns, special requests and deal-breakers.  If you don't like the dryer run in the afternoon, or on high, ever, just say that right up front, before they even move in.  If it's not a good fit, chances are they will move on, especially if you aren't the least expensive option out there.  Since you have the savings, you can afford to be "not the least expensive" option out there, and it'll be good protection against a bad fit.  If you attend a church, that might be a good place to start your search.  My family rents out properties, and they have always gotten their renters from their church.   Just a couple thoughts, which may be helpful.

I want to second the suggestion that you adjust your insurance.  Do you have your mortgage through a broker you can speak to?  There may be some funky dance you can do with appraisal to reduce your taxes and insurance by a little bit as well.  In my experience, admittedly limited, unless you are living your ass is on fire and there's no tomorrow, there may not be one big thing you can reduce, but instead, many little things that will add up.

Another cost we have traditionally cut in our household is cable, for both the television and internet access.  The internet access my be non-negotiable, but the cable channels won't be missed, and if you want, you can have Netflix for about $8 a month instead of the $100 for basic cable. 

Do you currently have two cars?  Is there any chance you can sell one?  Look - being stuck home with no car is no fun.  Arranging rides and schedules and all that business, especially with a kid, is no fun.  I'm there right now.  But we are saving a car payment, which for us is upwards of $350, insurance, gas, we have removed the risk that the car we don't own will break and need repairs...  it's all-around huge savings.

Hang in there! 
 

[Vaske]

When looking at apartments, remember to look at what utilities are included, that makes a huge difference in the cost.

Since you're still having a hard time with anxiety about this:  Dale Carnegie (in How to Stop Worrying and Start Living) had this advice about facing tough circumstances:  Figure out what the worst-case outcome would be (losing everything?  bankruptcy?  stress-triggered health crisis?), accept that outcome as a possibility, and then turn your energies toward improving on that scenario however you can, instead of dreading it.  Acceptance is a necessary precondition to productive change--paradoxical, but true. 

[trekkingirl]

why can't you rent out your house and go live in a cheap apartment? that way you wouldn't have to sell it? look to your DH for comfort instead of feeling so panicked, that always helps me.

[trekkingirl]

Have you joined holiday helper? Might be just what you need this holiday season!

[34me]

Apply for SSI/SSDI If you expect to be disabled for at least a year apply. It sounds like the new doc gets you so it may be easier than you think. And if you get better, but not all the way you can work some; if you are doing fantastic in a year you can work full time. I hire people with disabilities all the time; some work a couple hours a week some a couple hours a month. Depends on how they are doing - but they all still collect disability.