Forgive me, I don't know how to do quotes correctly, very new to the forum—
Originally Posted by Linda on the move
I very sorry for your miscarriage.
Originally Posted by lyzamay
My daughter actually has very strong social skills, and while I think that was the initial concern with the head teacher, I don't believe it is really affecting her with her peers. I think in the beginning of the year she talked about her "sister" more but quickly realized that it was something to keep quiet with only her close friends. I asked her what she says to the kids that don't believe her and she said she doesn't talk to them about it, so she's taking care of herself socially. She has her circle of friends and they quietly talk about it.
To complicate things more, she has an older 1/2 sister who she never sees, and we had a late miscarriage last year. So, this "sister" is a very healthy way of her dealing with her losses.
Or it is a sign that she needs additional help and support to process those losses at this time.
You really aren't able to see what the interactions are like with the other children to the degree that the teacher can. It's a fun thing to have an imaginary friend or animal (one of my DD's had an entire litter of coyote puppies), however, I'm not so sure that having imaginary conversations with your dead or missing sibling is fun or healthy.
wow, I don't know how you got to that point? My DD is not having imaginary conversations with a dead or missing sibling.
My point here, and I really do appreciate everyone's feedback, is that I know that imaginary friends are normal/common. Anyone that knows my DD knows that she is well-adjusted and happy and imaginative. Her friends play along with her games. She is feeling her way out of this one and says that she really doesn't talk about it at school, perhaps in the beginning she raised her hand to say she had a sibling and the teachers thought she was referring to the doll, but she in fact does have a sister— a real, living sister who doesn't live at home.
My concern is this assistant teacher that feels the need to tell my daughter that she's pretending and it's not possible. This hurts my daughter.
Thank you for the links. I think what my daughter is doing is very healthy and she is not necessarily mourning a loss, but has decided that if we can't give her a sibling in the house then she will make her own. She is headstrong.
I'd also like to make the point that the head teacher doesn't tell her she's pretending, she doesn't feed into it either, but my DD feels supported by her because she doesn't make out that this is all in my DD's head.
I will ask the head teacher what her observations are, but I really do think it comes down to one teacher hurting my daughter's feelings.
I have asked the teacher if my DD was being hurt socially and she never said so. Obviously, without further talking to the teacher it's all conjecture.
I just wanted to give you a "teacher" perspective on it.
Thanks for that, tbone_kneegrabber, I don't think my DD is doing all that! But, I'm glad that the teachers didn't squelch that imagination!