Weekly Chat Oct. 28th- Nov. 4 - Page 3 « Back to Group Discussions

[Melany]

Hello!

I took today off since it is the 20th anniversary of my 18th birthday. Last night, hubby and I were over in Seattle for my work dinner on an Argosy cruise. It was nice to see the Seattle skyline at night. I was a little disappointed that my mother in law didn't want to take the kids overnight, so we had to drive back at midnight, but it was a fun night. It stopped raining so we could all go out on the deck as the boat was going through Lake Union. Since I took the day off, I at least slept in. 

Since the kids are at school, I'm going to take the load I cleaned out of my closet over the last week to the goodwill and sew a little bit. Should be a nice relaxing birthday.

Edited by Melany - 11/2/12 at 11:19am

[cabbitdancer]

GranolaMama: Good luck on the job!

Big hugs to you, BeantownBaby. I can only imagine the stress of such a loss during pregnancy. As it is, I can’t stop crying, this pregnancy, about the loss of my father, over 18 years ago. It’s wonderful that they were able and willing to do the u/s at your house so your mother could get a look at her grandson before she passed. Good luck to you, too, on the job!

spughy, I hope you can get the itching tamped down. I love the idea with the Halloween Candy Monster. I wonder if, at five, my daughter is too old to institute something like that. I do remember reading that a little every day is worse than eating it all at once, and I’ve been trying to figure out a way around that.

Wow, scarletsmiles, I wish I had more room in my freezer. I would totally follow suit and be making freezer meals on the days I have energy! I hope your husband gets a good job at a good place!

maydaymom, congrats on the certification!

veganyogamomma, wow, I hope you guys find an alternative arrangement soon! If I had to live with *my* mom, I think I would slowly go insane. I love her to pieces, but she drives me crazy! :)

afm, wow... it's been a crazy week! I totally stressed over the storm hitting on the coast and watched with anxiety as all of my friends out that way checked in via facebook. At the point I wanted to start crying, I decided to push myself away from the computer. Tuesday was spent working on my daughter's costume--FINALLY! I finished it at 6am Wednesday morning, only to discover that the neckline dropped so low in front that my daughter's chest was exposed. Oy. So, I spent most of Wednesday frantically trying to size it down. Didn't work. I still wound up sticking safety pins in it to make it fit. It looked adorable, at least! I'll have to post pictures! Yesterday was spent catching up on the sleep I missed out on Tuesday night. I woke up with my eyelids swollen Thursday morning and decided that more sleep was a good idea, and I finally feel normal, today. Needless to say, I won't be doing any more all nighters for a while! I have so much cleaning to do, it's not even funny, and NaNoWriMo started yesterday! I gotta get my butt writing! One more week until I get to see my baby, and possibly find out what we're having!!

[maydaymom10]

Originally Posted by spughy 

I dunno how I could drink a quart of RRL tea every day - I don't even like the stuff.  Blech.  I DO like most herbal teas but there's something about that one I'm just not fond of.

I don't drink nearly that much - maybe a glass or two. I've made an infusion of RRL, keep it in my fridge, and then add it to other teas that I actually like. Also also add some honey to mine to help with the taste. Which reminds me, I need to brew some more :)

Originally Posted by writermama12 

Meggsy, just saw your reply. Thanks for the info. I haven't been eating much fresh fruit lately because it is past season here and it is imported and expensive and usually non-organic so I should probably drink more water...

Yogurt, herbal teas, milk, juice, etc. can all count towards your daily intake. If you follow the Brewers Pregnancy Diet at all, it actually discourages drinking a ton of water b/c they feel that the water fills you up and then you don't get some of the other nutrients that you need because you're not eating/hungry. Makes sense to me. I've been trying to add in other hydrating sources to help with this.

Originally Posted by Melany 

I took today off since it is the 20th anniversary of my 18th birthday.

Happy birthday! I love how you worded this. I just celebrated the 20th anniv of my 19th b-day last week. It just makes it seem so much nicer and less depressing. :)

AFM - I am finishing a really busy week for me. Tomorrow it ends with a convention for doulas in our state. I don't really feel like going, but I'm going to muster up the energy to do so. I need to make some more connections and there are some good topics being discussed. I figure that I can always leave if I get too beat. I'm looking forward to a quieter week next week, including a visit to my midwife. Yay.

[Linnaea]

Uggh, I feel so drained today  Yesterday I woke up with a stomach bug, puking and diarrhea all day, I was so miserable.  Today I'm doing a bit better, still lightheaded and weak, but no vomit or diarrhea.  I just had some toast so I'll see how that works for my stomach *crosses fingers*   I must have gotten what DD had earlier this week, thankfully it didn't affect her nearly as strongly as it did me.  

The good news is, Halloween was awesome, my 20-month-old daughter had a blast!!  She was a very cute little cupcake, she made everyone smile.  She wouldn't let go of her bucket, and she held it out for candy as soon as she figured out people were giving her goodies  She cracks me up.  

I hope you had a great birthday, Melany!!  I also like how you worded that   It sounds funny for me to say that it'll be the 20th anniversary of my 11th birthday at the end of this month  so I'll just say it's almost my 31st birthday  I have no idea what we're going to do to celebrate.  

[GranolaMama09]

Jumping back in! Happy birthday Melany. And early happy birthday to the others. Beantown, I'm glad your mother was able to be at the u/s. That is so amazing that they did for you like that. Glad everyone seems to have weathered Sandy okay.

AFM, still waiting to hear back from the dream jib but I found a part time position at Toys 'r' Us working 8-15 hours a week. It's better than nothing and the manager seems really awesome. We had our scan done on Friday and we're having a boy. After an epic fight I think DP finally gets it. It's not that I didn't want to have a son but that I asa grieving for the second girl I was hoping for and wont get to have. This is our last baby so it was the last chance. Divorce hearing is in about a month. We still haven't seen DSD since ex took her - I hope the judge rules in our favor! DD comes home for two weeks tomorrow. I'm sure my snuggle bug will help me through this funk!

[spughy]

Melany that is a GREAT way to refer to a birthday - and I hope you had a happy one! :-)

GranolaMama I'm a bit envious of the job - I wasn't able to find one and I can't really work as a postpartum doula anymore because my belly is too big and wearing babies is too uncomfortable.  I sort of miss it and feel obligate to do extra housework - which doesn't *actually* happen then I end up feeling like a total slacker.  Also our living room is a tip at the moment and there's very little I can do about that because it's reno mess. 

Linnaea I hope you feel better soon.  Tummy upsets SUCK.  Blerg.

AFM - the itching is better now.  I was able to sleep last night fairly well, just resorted to the ice packs in the middle for a bit.  No itching at all during the day now - it's just at night.  My hands are still really bumpy - they LOOK exactly the same, I guess my nervous system is just sort of done with it, like it realizes it was some kind of false alarm and there's no need to send constant itchy signals to my brain. SO weird.

DD and I hit the first craft fair of the season today.  It was busy and not super-awesome but I guess it's time to start thinking along those lines!  It still feels too early though.  I went into a Starbucks yesterday morning and felt like I'd been whacked over the head with a Christmas stick.  Overnight EVERYTHING got made christmassy.  All the bagged coffee beans, the baked goods, the displays of merchandise - it's ALL Christmas. Plus there was a decorated tree right smack in the middle and tinsel all over.  Crazy. 

[Linnaea]

Originally Posted by spughy 


DD and I hit the first craft fair of the season today.  It was busy and not super-awesome but I guess it's time to start thinking along those lines!  It still feels too early though.  I went into a Starbucks yesterday morning and felt like I'd been whacked over the head with a Christmas stick.  Overnight EVERYTHING got made christmassy.  All the bagged coffee beans, the baked goods, the displays of merchandise - it's ALL Christmas. Plus there was a decorated tree right smack in the middle and tinsel all over.  Crazy. 

It always annoys me how fast businesses decorate for Christmas. It's all about the money, makes me sad . I wish they would wait until after Thanksgiving.

[maydaymom10]

Originally Posted by Linnaea 


It always annoys me how fast businesses decorate for Christmas. It's all about the money, makes me sad . I wish they would wait until after Thanksgiving.

I agree. I miss just celebrating holidays individually without feeling that they are being stacked up back-to-back. We won't be putting up xmas decorations until the first of Dec at the earliest, and that's really only because I now have 2 advent calendars that DS can participate in. In fact, DH & I are going to deseed our pumpkins tonight because we never go around to actually carving them. But, we want to roast the seeds :)  Which reminds me, I went to a doula conference yesterday and one of the speakers (one author of The Greatest Pregnancy Ever) was mentioning that tryptophan is a really good nutrients (?) for pregnancy and that pumpkin seeds have really high level of it. So I'm all about roast my seeds.

AFM - that conference I went to yesterday was great in that it made me look at how my own pregnancy was going - how I was feeling, eating, treating myself, etc - and gave me some inspiration to do a little better. So I'm going to try to be more mindful of those things beginning today. I got a relatively good night's sleep & had a yummy breakfast which is a good start. We'll see how it goes. 

[scruffy too]

Speaking of Christmas things - I guess Shoppers Drug Mart was playing Christmas music in their stores because yesterday their facebook status said that they would stop as so many customers had been complaining.  It's way too early for Christmas music!!

I've skimmed through this weeks chat, everyone seems so busy!

I've been crazy busy with my dad (who leaves on Tuesday).  We've drywalled the entire addition (16x20 two stories).  We painted upstairs (my bedroom) and stained the window sills and frames.  I've spent 3 nights up there now.  It's beautiful and I'm glad to see all the hard work pay off.  The plumber has left and we have running water (loads of problems with him, but it's all over now, so I'm trying to forget what an idiot/ass he was).  Most of the light fixtures are in place.  All in all, a great 3 weeks.

My dad is so cute, always telling me to take more breaks.  He says he thinks I'm working too hard, and mom gives him crap on the phone if she finds out we had an extra long day.  So he's stuck between making me happy (working like crazy) and keeping his wife happy.  But I'm tired!!

Ok, off to read more threads .

[Chapsie]

After my first miscarriage last August, I was heartbroken and the kids were mopey (they could tell I was sad and they were very sensitive to my emotions).  So, we did something crazy and went out to the SPCA and adopted a dog to cheer everyone up.  It only took about a week before we realized that we made a mistake and that we are not really dog people.  (I love cats but DH has crazy allergies).  We adopted him for all the wrong reasons at a time of great sadness and confusion in our lives and we hadn't thought it through clearly.  But, we had committed to this dog (a 60 lb 4 year old spaniel retriever mix with beautiful black coat-- he is gorgeous and such a lover) and we kept trying to make it work.  I was pretty physically weak from my hemorrhage and all the stress that the miscarriage put on my body and had a hard time taking care of the dog and my two young kids while my husband was working full time.  I then suffered a second miscarriage in November.  I fell into a deep depression and it was the longest winter ever.  I was miserable.  I realized that I was very stressed out about taking care of the dog.  The only time I really yelled or raised my voice was at the dog (he barks a lot).  I didn't have the energy or motivation to really train him.  We were ok pet owners, but I'll be honest, we really didn't devote the attention to the dog that he wanted.  (He constantly craves human attention).  I am now 20 weeks pregnant with our rainbow baby (yay!) and the thought of cleaning muddy paws with a newborn strapped to my chest and letting a baby crawl around on the dog-haired floor or getting stepped on and knocked over by the excited dog was really stressing me out.  

So... to make a long story short, I asked my husband what he'd think about giving the dog away.  He was all for it.  He said that he saw the dog as more of a chore than a pleasure.  I had to admit that I did too.  We wrote out pro-con lists and talked to the kids about it (4 and 2 yrs).  I threw up a little post on facebook last Tuesday with his picture, just to see if there would be any interest to give him to a family that I knew and trusted.  I really didn't think it would go anywhere... but holy cow!  About a dozen people expressed interest in meeting him.  One of my coworkers was very interested and we brought the dog by her house yesterday to meet her other dog and the rest of the family.  They want him, are VERY excited to have him, and we arranged for them to pick him up tomorrow.

I can't believe this is all happening so fast.  I know there will be so much more peace in the house once the dog is gone, but I have this overshadowing sadness tugging at my heart.  I will miss him.  I know my 4 year old son will miss him, too.  This is so much harder than I thought it would be!  I know that overall, though, I will be relieved to give up that responsibility. 

I have one more day with him.  It's so weird!   Thanks so much for letting me share.  It's been such a weird week for me with lots of conflicting emotions!  

Has anyone every had to give up a pet before?  Any advice or words of encouragement?  

[Chapsie]

Granola-- I hope you love your new job!  I work part time and it is really nice sometimes to get out of the house and be "an adult."  haha.  I hope the divorce hearing goes in your favor.  I can't imagine how hard that must be to not know how things will turn out.  And CONGRATS on a BOY!!!

Linnaea-- the stomach bug is the WORST!  I always thought the constant puking and diarrhea was worse than labor.  So sorry you had to go through that.  I hope you recover your strength soon!

Scruffy-- how exciting about your new addition!  What are you going to do with your new rooms?  Master bedroom?  Nursery?  We have been working on home projects here, too, but I can't imagine doing all that drywalling!  Sounds exhausting! (but worth it!)

[scruffy too]

Chapsie - sorry about the dog!!  I've only had to give up a dog when I was younger (probably around 11 or 12) due to my brother's allergies, and it was heart-breaking.  I have two boys (dogs) now and they've been with my my entire adult life (Dawson is 11 and Taylor is 9 and I'm 31).  But I'm a dog person.  Muddy paws don't bug me much, and everything I own has a bit of dog fur on it and I don't even notice.  I'm more sad that this baby will never get to experience how awesome my oldest dog is.  At least you know your pup is going to an awesome house that can give him what you weren't able.  And if your kids miss the dog, you could always explore volunteering at a shelter, playing with the animals or walking them. 

My addition (which was started around the week of the unknown conception... lol...)  The whole upstairs is the Master Bedroom with attached bathroom.  Lots of windows overlooking the lake.  Very peaceful.  The wall between the bedroom and bathroom will hold a 140 gallon fish tank so it will be semi-transparent.

The downstairs has a bathroom and two small bedrooms.  One will be the nursery.  The current house only had one bathroom and two bedrooms.  It seems crazy that I've turned my house into a 5 bedroom, 3 bathroom house, but we did.  DP doesn't think we need 3 bathrooms (we don't) but where they are located (next to bedrooms) makes sense and I don't agree that we should turn one into storage.  And one new bedroom will more be a craft / storage area than a bedroom, so really it's only 4 bedrooms.  And again, they're not big - I'm a believer of playing outside and don't think children need big bedrooms.

Anyway, the big push is on to finish up some loose ends before my dad leaves on Tuesday, so I should run.

[Linnaea]

Chapsie: I'm very sorry for your losses   I understand about feeling like a dog would help everyone in a time of great sadness, but, overall, having him isn't what's best for your family.  When I was a kid we had to give up one dog because we moved out of state and couldn't take him with us and another dog a few years later because she just didn't work out.  We were sad both times, more so the first, but we learned valuable lessons along the way.  A few years after the last dog, we were smarter: my dad and I went to a bookstore and bought a book about dog breeds that listed the personality, quirks, temperament of each breed.  We ended up choosing a pug after reading the book since that was the breed that fit best with our family.  As it turned out, that little dog was incredibly loved and cherished for 12 years until she died.  I don't know if I've helped at all, but I thought I'd share my experience and how things worked out in the end.  It sounds like your dog will be loved where ever he ends up going and maybe you and your family will decide to get a new pet at some point, but, in any case, it sounds like you've learned a lot from caring for him.

Also, thank you for your kind words.  Yeah, that stomach bug was horrendous.  Thankfully, it only lasted one day so I'm doing much better now :)  I can't even imagine how I would have dealt with it if it had lasted several days...I probably would have ended up in the hospital 

[spughy]

Chapsie I'm sorry the dog didn't work out for you.  I only had to give up a dog once - my ex and I were trying to go back to school and the only way we could swing it financially was to move onto his parents' sailboat.  The cat was fine (I kept her and she lasted well beyond the ex and only died last year) but there was no way we could humanely have kept the dog on a boat.  We gave him to a neighbour, who had a 4-year-old boy that the dog absolutely adored.  I still miss him, even though this was nearly 20 years ago and I'm sure the dog is no longer alive. We have a dog now, whom we've had since she was a puppy and she's nearly 10 now.  Like ScruffyToo, I have no real problems with muddy paws and I like that my kids are exposed to pet mess because it (statistically) lessens the chance they will suffer from allergies.  I think it probably strengthens their immune systems too.  And I don't think I could face the baby/toddler feeding messes nearly so complacently without my willing furry floor cleaner.  But, dogs ARE a lot of work, and I do sometimes resent the daily walk and the prep work for the dog's food (we feed a raw food diet that means I have to cut up stuff and put it in baggies once a week).  And our dog is admittedly well-behaved and well-trained - although she does bark when people come to the door and I'm not looking forward to managing that and a baby napping.  So I totally, completely understand.  I was listening to an interview on the radio today with Dr. Stanley Coren, who is an expert on dog-human things and he said that across North America, only 40% of dogs last more than a year in any home into which they're adopted.  It's sad, but it also shows that pet ownership is a lot more challenging than people think.  Also, that dogs are more challenging!  It's not just the work, it's that they're another personality in the house and sometimes that personality doesn't fit.

And on a completely different topic, the itch on my hands has completely vanished.  Last night I slept fine with no need for ice packs and this morning they feel completely back to normal - one rough patch on the back of my right hand but otherwise, nothing.  Bizarre.  I didn't change anything. 

[jodieanneanton]

chapsie-  We had to give up our precious parrot, Lenny, when DD1 was 2 y.o. or so.   DD1 changed our life in such a major way when she was born, as children tend to do.  From day one, DD1 was terrified of Lenny... I don't know what you know about parrots, but they can be quite loud. He was no exception.  When she was still afraid of him at age two, and all attempts to acclimate them to each other failed, we decided it was time to find him a new home.  The owners of a locally owned bird shop agreed to take care of him and sell him to a good home.  The day we dropped him off, I couldn't even go in.  I had to make my husband do it.  I cried... I am crying now just thinking about it.  I hand fed him since he was a baby and he was there for me during some of the most lonely days of my life... to lose him was just sad.  I think about him from time to time and wonder how he is, but honestly, I know we made the right decision.  DD1 (now 5) is still deathly afraid of almost all animals (with the exception of cats and horses... weird, I know).  I sometimes feel guilty that I failed him.  I viewed buying him as a major lifetime (of the parrot... this breed lives 25 years) commitment. But, I KNOW that he is better off where he is now.  I KNOW he went to a home that knew birds and what taking care of them entails and that he is likely with his forever family now.  It is hard, but it was/is a good lesson in how letting go is sometimes a great sign of love.  A lesson all of us moms will have to learn someday.  However, now, it hurts, I know.   (((HUGS)))

[cabbitdancer]

Chapsie -- I've never had to give away an animal, but I have had animals pass away and felt as much relief as grief at their loss, so I know where you are coming from. At least you know that he is going to a loving family who will be able to give him the love and attention he deserves, and you will better be able to focus on yourself and your baby, who will definitely need your attention, soon.

[jodieanneanton]

The next chat thread is up here! :D