Queer Conceptions: November 2012 - Page 6

[mrsandmrs]

Sphinxy - I think that's a big part of it. We live in a smallish city, and I am far more willing to drive to the neighboring bigger city for better options, but I think a lot of people are like "oh crap, i just need help!" when they start to realize they are infertile. I mean, most of the people I know who go to fertility clinics are straight people who start from this position of grief and often desperation. That's not really how we started, so we had the luxury of more research, time, and making a more informed decision. My acupuncturist actually knows this weirdo dude and discouraged me from seeing him initially (which is how I ended up driving to the next city over in the first place) but I just wanted to see if there was a compelling back-up plan closer by. And I learned that there is not. 

My wife starting charting because if I'm not pregnant in another cycle or two, we want to be prepared to switch to her. She's older (not old, just older), so if she's going to be our "back-up plan," we don't want to wait much longer to start trying. We want to have several more kids, so hopefully things will all shake out in their own time. 

I think testing right before thanksgiving could be so sweet - you will have something extra to be thankful for !

[granite]

Originally Posted by joyseattle 

ETA: DP and I just realized my naturopath prescribed a new fertility tea blend (calendula, red raspberry, vitex), and I started drinking it the day before these flat temps started. Now I'm wondering/thinking that's the cause. I'm debating stopping it to see what happens. DP just reminded me this is why you don't start something new on the first cycle of trying! Has anyone had anything like that happen with fertility tea?

As someone pretty keen on medicinal herbs, Joy, I've been thinking about your question... And I believe that it's coincidence, not the tea. In general, herbal teas are a great long-term "tonic", the effects of which are only noticeable after a period of sustained use. In the Toevs/Brill book (Essential Guide to Lesbian Conception etc), they write, "Fertility herbs need three months or more to reach their full effect." (pg. 195). I'm interested to learn what's in your tea: Is it just those three herbs? I've been taking a blend from a local store, which contains raspberry, nettle, alfalfa, oat straw, and rose petals. I added to it other fertility-boosting herbs as recommended by my naturopath: Black cohosh, licorice root, red clover, and peppermint. It tastes pretty nice!

mrsandmrs, that's so neat that you got married in my town! I always hear about queers having destination weddings here, but have never met anyone who did. Where did you do it? When DP and I got hitched last year, we rented a tiny art gallery in Chinatown where we had an evening ceremony and party with 50 guests, but earlier in the day we surprised our family by doing the legal part at brunch in a downtown oyster bar... All the restaurant staff and other patrons clapped along with the family after we signed the papers.

Here's my true confession: I love temping!!! It makes me feel like I'm doing an exciting science project! And instead of getting an A+ at the end of it, I'll get a baby! (I hope.)

[joyseattle]

Darcy - Yes, we love it. I don't love it all the time (and I need to remind myself to embrace the weather and still do things like long walks outside even if it's sprinkling), but overall we're very happy here. Happy to answer any questions if you want more info.

Granite - Thanks for thinking of my situation and bringing in Brill's quote (who I've read cover to cover, annotated, and refer to if I have questions). Yes, it was a hand-blended mixture of those three herbs from the dispensary at my naturopathic clinic and was based on my NDs orders for percentages. (In the past I drank the Fertilitea brand which I feel may not have been as potent and included other herbs such as peppermint, green tea, nettle and Ladies Mantle.) I also am usually a pretty keen on medicinal herbs, including TCM herbs, but/and I also know that different things impact different people over different time frames. My annoyance mostly comes from the fact that I know more doesn't always equal better and rather than intentionally questioning what it could do and if I wanted to deal with the benefits and risks, I just took it. This is a big no-no for me philosophically. And, while I know my ND prescibed it as a way to boost my fertility overall and hopefully help with suspected LPD/progesterone, rather than showing a more clear ovulation pattern, it's *potentially* interfered with my normal temp pattern - which did clearly show ovulation, including a pre-ovulation dip that we were planning to use for timing purposes. All that said, I stopped the tea the day before yesterday, so after not drinking any yesterday at all, I got a different temperature this morning for the first time since starting. It all may have been a coincidence, but I'm not willing to take the tea if there's a possible it causing a change that would prevent me from using bbt as a fertility sign. I totally get that this could still be a fluke, but I'm a big enough believer that I have to entertain the idea that it could be a quick response. Also, looking at my chart, it's a pretty clear correlation (but admittedly that doesn't speak to causation).

So, now we just continue with opks, no tea, and relaxation/stress-reduction until there are enough signs to try to pin down an insem day. At this point I'm thinking Fri/Sat or Sun morning, which brings up the concern about our dewar tank. It was filled on Thursday, arrived Monday, the bank says a week (which would be this afternoon).  Has anyone waited beyond a week to insem? Or refill a tank? We have a friend who did when she was trying a few years ago, so I know it's an option, but I'm wondering if it's necessary. For what it's worth, we haven't opened the tank.

[Sphinxy]

joy - My bank also said a week, but after I investigated further I learned that they were calculating that off the date they expected me to receive it, and not off the date it was filled and shipped. So you might want to double check that with your bank. I was researching this a few months ago just in case, and I believe I may have read somewhere here on MDC another person's story of refilling the nitrogen, so you may want to do a site search - it sounded pretty simple actually.

[DarcySD]

Can anyone help me read this test? This is my first time using this brand and I have no idea if this is a positive or an almost positive. Thanks so much.

[esenbee2]

Hello everyone!  It's been quite some time since I've been on the mothering boards.  Life gets crazy like that!  We were TTC last year in Dec, Jan, Feb, and March, but never got a BFP :(  We took a (long) break and are going to start trying in December and January at home and March with a medicated IUI, and then I don't know what!

As for how our break went, I graduated with my Bachelor's in May and got a full time job (which I absolutely LOVE!) instead of a 20 hr/week job making squat.  So we are a LOT less financially stressed!  It has made DSp and I's relationship a lot closer with a lot less fights!

DarcySD, that looks like a pretty close positive OPK.  I haven't ever used that brand, but my negative OPKs with a faint line have never looked that dark.  But then again, the line isn't as dark or darker.  Some women are different though.  When I used the line OPKs, I never got dark-dark positive lines, but I got smiley faces on another brand with the same urine...

[DarcySD]

esenbee2 - Congratulations on graduating and your new job that you love. It makes all the difference!

I got a smiley face on my other brand but my clinic said they don't use those because they test positive too early. I just had some left from last month so I thought I would give it a try. What did you end up doing when you got the positive on the smiley and and nothing on the other? We are doing two inseminations and I am trying to figure out if I should go in late this afternoon for the first one or wait until tomorrow morning.

[mrsandmrs]

Joy - I have taken vitex (although I used a tincture, not a tea) and it made my cycle and temps crazy pretty much instantly. I think it works really well for the people it works well for, but can have unpredictable results for others. Anyway, just an anecdote, but it definitely did not work well for me. 

[Sphinxy]

darcy - For me, that would be a negative. I have tried a few brands and my positives are always clearly the same shade as the control or much darker. I would call that an "almost-positive", which I would usually get about 6-24 hours before my first "full positive". So, maybe take another test this afternoon and see if it darkens?

esenbee - welcome back, congratuations, and good luck!

[Friederike]

Hello everyone.
I would like to join you folks after I just had my second doctors appointment to prepare for TTC. So I guess some introduction is in order.
I am 33, my partner 32, we have been together for over 10 years. I have been very vocal in my wish for having a baby in the last couple of years, although DP was and some extend still is reluctanctant (the scary responsibility, costs, questioning her own parenting potential). She gave me the go ahead though, I am positive she and I will be just fine and now I am in the midst of figuring out how to do everything. My luteal phase is much to short (9days only), so my doctor will hopefully fix that with a hcg trigger and progesterone. Then I will do at home ICI with frozen goods from Cryos, a bank in Denmark. Unfortunately my home country, Germany, is very restrictive about access to fertility treatment for non-straight-married people, so I don't think I'll have the option for an IUI unless I travel abroad which would be even more expensive and hard to do job-wise. Cryos are the only ones shipping to a home address, too, so we're stuck with them. Lots of blond tall Scandinavian guys in their catalogue. At least through recommendation by our local LGBT center I found my nice doc who is willing to do the trigger and ultrasounds as preparation. I am not sure about the timing yet, so any input would be much appreciated. It seems like trigger shot on CD 9, O 24-30 hrs later and ICI with frozen also about 36hrs after the trigger?

Right now I am waiting for my next cycle to start and have my first try before Christmas. I actually will ovulate in 2 days or so as shown by todays ultrasound but the shipping and customs process over the weekend makes it impossible to try this round as the goods just wouldn't arrive in time. It was weirdly touching when my doctor commented on how good the folicle and my lining looked. Oh well, I guess I'll make them even prettier next time *lol*
Whew, I wrote a novel. Sorry

[esenbee2]

Darcy -  I was using Answer and never got dark lines, so I switched to the the smiley kind and just relied on those.  I found $1 OPK tests at Dollar Tree, but I can't remember if I used them the last month we tried or not... or how they read...  I had a temp spike the morning after our last 3 insems, so I think we timed them well.  (But it seemed like I had some sort of cold or sore throat or body aches or something going on, so I could never really be 100% that it was because of ovulation and not just because of coming down with something.  Sick for 4 months in row, right around ovulation...  That of course is the kind of luck I have!)  I would second Sphinxy's suggestion of retesting throughout the day to check to see if it is getting darker.

[joyseattle]

Darcy - I'd call that almost positive as well and test again, at least four hours from now. I test 2-3 times per day at peak and test out the positive LH surge. I get a positive smiley before the cheapie strips and I know based on past cycles how long I have between a true positive and O. It varies for each person, so keep testing and watching other signs!

esenbee - Welcome back. We also took a long break due to grad school, moving, job changes. Congrats on your degree and new job and less $$$ stress!

mrsandmrs - Thanks for sharing. Stupid vitex! Glad it's there for those who need it, but I'm not going to take it anymore.

Friederike - Welcome! Hope your plan works perfectly and your stay here is short!

AFM - I'm off to get my dewar refilled, just in case!


 

[Sphinxy]

Friederike - welcome!  And no worries, write as much as you need to! I have no experience with trigger shots but I wish you lots of luck, and a short successful stay with us here.

[DarcySD]

Sphinxy - Thanks for the advice. I will test again this afternoon.

Friederike - Welcome! Your partner sounds a lot like mine with the worrying. I also have a shorter luteal phase (10-11 days).  Last month we were going to use the trigger shot but when we went in on day 13 to check (I ovulate around day 20-21) my follicle was only 9mm. By the time it got big enough to trigger we were on a plane to Yosemite. Great news about your lining and follicle and good luck with your insemination next month!

esenbee2 - Thanks for all of the info. I will test again later today.

joyseattle - Thank you. I will definitely keep testing and also test out the surge so I can see how long it lasts. Once you test out the surge how do you know when you ovulate?

[lisedea]

Darcy--The only way you really know if you ovulate is if you have a temp jump that stays high for at least three days or it is confirmed with an u/s. Everyone is different with the OPKs...some people have positives for just one day--while others do for more than one. I normally had two positive OPKs and ovulated on the second day. It really does depend on the person.

joy--Just for the record, I took fertility tea that had vitex in it while doing at home insems and it didn't affect my body at all in terms of temps or ovulation. It did however give me mega CM which was GREAT for doing at home ICIs. I did get pregnant once while using the tea...but have no idea if it was a coincidence. This is the kind I used: http://www.amazon.com/FertiliTea-Natural-Fertility-Tea-Blend/dp/B0006SFQGO/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1353003871&sr=8-1&keywords=fertility+tea+for+women Also...the tank. My bank told me that I had two full weeks as long as it wasn't opened at all. I think they tell you a week to save themselves the risk of one thawing....but I suppose it could also be the kind of tank as well. Glad you are getting it refilled--definitely best to be on the safe side!

[scorpioma]

Welcome Friederike and esenbee2!!

I added you to "Waiting to O."

So exciting to have so many people on the thread getting ready to try!

[mrsandmrs]

Granite - I just saw your question about the wedding in Victoria. We eloped with a small posse of our dearests. We found a queer unitarian minister with a log cabin on a mountain who performed the ceremony in his home. We ate some thai food afterwards downtown, I think? We also ate a lot of ReBar when we were there. It was so good, I tell all my friends to skip the wedding planning and just go get married on a mountaintop by a queer unitarian minister, but no one has taken my advice (yet). We had a smallish party for friends and family and presents a couple months later. It was pretty much the most perfect wedding/elopement we could have planned, seriously.

[fmorris28]

spinxy, hoping for the best for you chica! Keeping everything crossed

Granite, Glad to know I'm not the only one. I didnt think it'd hit DP that hard, but hey, I was wrong. And you're right I seem to bounce back a little quicker maybe bc i'm ready to get back into the saddle nd not harp on what didnt happen. Hopefully it'll get better nd she'll see it's not the end of the world...just when you're looking at that BFN..but after that..it gets better. Love how the museum trip made you think twice lol...those screaming moments lol! Good luck on Saturday!

Darcy, Hope you enjoy your time here and that its rather short!

Scorp, I can tell you I bought a bottle of wine...i felt like i deserved it! And it was just as wonderful as your beer i bet!

Esenbee, Welcome back and good luck!!

Friederike, Looks like you've got all your ducks in a row and are right on your way! You'll find a lot of great help here! Good luck!

AFM, I just emailed the OB to see what she thinks on our trying at home. I'm switching back to clomid just because I had great follicles with it...i was a little disappointed with the Femara. I also asked about triggering this time, and if she knew of a pharmacy that was under $210 for Novarel. I wish mye stupid insurance would cover it! Why else do we pay them!? Other than that...DP's leg is healing nicely...hopefully no more broken bones or set backs!

[granite]

Yay for new and returning members! Darcy and Friederike! I have no experience with reading OPKs or timing triggers, but wish you much luck.

And welcome back, esenbee! I remember your posts from my days-of-lurkdom last year, and am so happy you've rejoined us.

Hmmmm, yes, the vitex... Joy, I think you're right. I didn't notice any side effects from all the vitex I was taking these past 8 months, then I didn't ovulate when I was taking it and the clomid at the same time: My naturopath said it was coincidence, but too many people have told me it disrupted their cycles for me to believe her! Stupid vitex, agreed.

Interesting, though, that that tea boosted your CM, lisedea... Thanks for sharing! I hadn't considered CM to be important for me since I'll be having IUIs at the clinic, but in the Toevs/Brill book they mention it's still vital to allow sperm to survive longer in the uterus (I was re-reading the book thanks to Joy's comment re: annotating her copy! I'm now well on my way to doing the same!)

As a side note, I'm curious: How do you get a tank refilled?

mrsandmrs, that sounds like a PERFECT wedding! I mean, mine was fun, but was still too stressful.  I love ReBar! Many of my friends work there or have in the past.

fmorris, I share your frustration about drugs not being covered by insurance: With our system here in BC, I have extended health coverage through DP's work which has in the past paid for just about every prescription... Except for the damn clomid! So it was $100 for the 700mg I took this current cycle (100mg/day for a week). It's not a lot of money, I guess, but it's more the principal: We chose to pay for me to be added to DP's extended health coverage because it's better than the one I get through my job, and I'd thought the fertility drugs would be covered.

Hello to everyone else!

[sotohana]

Hi everyone,

It's been forever and a day since I logged on here- been avoiding it- y'all know how that goes.

Anyway, when I logged into the November thread and saw FIVE October graduates I was like OMG! Pokey! ErinTNgirl! Outdoorsy! Easttowest! and Cordelia! Woweeweewowow! I am so happy for each of you!

AFU- both of us began going to an acupuncturist who is great. We didn't have the dollars in October to try, nor in September, but we also didn't try this month. I actually haven't temped at all this cycle. The acupuncturist told me that she thinks I should wait to try until I can show a normal length luteal phase- because we are spending so much $ and all. I took her advice, but y'know...I'm not sure about that now. I think that it's gotten me really down to not keep trying. I see her logic, but I also know that our insurance will not allow us to tap into our coverage for fertility until we've tried 6 times. I just want a frickin' baby already! Honestly I get sooo anxious thinking about it. 

So, with that, I'm wondering if anyone can tell me what they've done to lengthen their luteal phase. Mine is only 9-10 days long. Other than that, I think I'm doing okay. I have good cm and am very regular with my period. I experience normal pms symptoms and I just got off caffeine- finally! I do acupuncture currently and am taking some herbs that she prescribed me- three pills three times daily (so, 9 pills total). 

Thanks, ladies. I so appreciate having this safe space where people really get how it goes with this kind of thing.