Okay, folks, I have a question for all (*is keeping herself distracted quite successfully*): what will your baby's last name be? Yours? Your partner's? Both?
I'm curious because, even though I'm single and this should theoretically be a really easy decision, I am torn. My parents got divorced when I was 2, and my mom kept her married name, "W-," so she'd have the same last name as my brother and I. But, I grew up near my mom's family and only saw my dad once or twice a year (we still aren't close at all), so I've always felt like "part of the P- clan," not a "W-" even though "W-" has been my last name my whole life. In fact, I've always thought that if I married someone who was close to their family, I might take their name instead--feminism be damned--just to get rid of my father's name. Of course, I know he would be really upset/offended if I changed it as an adult without the socially-acceptable pretext of "giving up my maiden name" (why I care what he thinks when I don't actually like him is a whole other thread). So, potential baby on the scene, I don't particularly want to pass my father's name on to another generation. My maternal grandma, who I adore, had no brothers, so her maiden name, "G-," didn't get passed on, and in my dream world, my kid would be Baby GmaMaiden instead of Baby MyLast. But, then I would have a different last name than my kid, which causes stupid complications. And again, my dad might be offended/hurt, and I have some hope he might want to bestow some college fund money on a future grandchild (shallow, I know, but he has money and I'm still going to be paying off student loans of my own when my kid starts college). So, what would you do in my situation? Suck it up and stick with my last name (maybe with Grandma's maiden as a middle name)? Go with my grandma's maiden name and stick it to the man (aka, my dad)? Go with my grandma's maiden name AND change my own name to match, double-sticking it to the man? Use both as a hyphenated last name? Use them both as an unhyphenated last name? (Note: both names are short and 1 or 2 syllables so hyphenation wouldn't make a painfully long double-barrel name.)
Edited by fillefantome - 11/26/12 at 8:28pm
I'm curious because, even though I'm single and this should theoretically be a really easy decision, I am torn. My parents got divorced when I was 2, and my mom kept her married name, "W-," so she'd have the same last name as my brother and I. But, I grew up near my mom's family and only saw my dad once or twice a year (we still aren't close at all), so I've always felt like "part of the P- clan," not a "W-" even though "W-" has been my last name my whole life. In fact, I've always thought that if I married someone who was close to their family, I might take their name instead--feminism be damned--just to get rid of my father's name. Of course, I know he would be really upset/offended if I changed it as an adult without the socially-acceptable pretext of "giving up my maiden name" (why I care what he thinks when I don't actually like him is a whole other thread). So, potential baby on the scene, I don't particularly want to pass my father's name on to another generation. My maternal grandma, who I adore, had no brothers, so her maiden name, "G-," didn't get passed on, and in my dream world, my kid would be Baby GmaMaiden instead of Baby MyLast. But, then I would have a different last name than my kid, which causes stupid complications. And again, my dad might be offended/hurt, and I have some hope he might want to bestow some college fund money on a future grandchild (shallow, I know, but he has money and I'm still going to be paying off student loans of my own when my kid starts college). So, what would you do in my situation? Suck it up and stick with my last name (maybe with Grandma's maiden as a middle name)? Go with my grandma's maiden name and stick it to the man (aka, my dad)? Go with my grandma's maiden name AND change my own name to match, double-sticking it to the man? Use both as a hyphenated last name? Use them both as an unhyphenated last name? (Note: both names are short and 1 or 2 syllables so hyphenation wouldn't make a painfully long double-barrel name.)
Edited by fillefantome - 11/26/12 at 8:28pm
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