Queer Conceptions: November 2012 - Page 13

[Sphinxy]

darcy - Holy cow, that is a challenging sleep cycle! Is it just because of temping anxiety, or have you always had interrupted sleep? The best environmental advice I've heard for sleeping through the night is cooler temperatures and no ambient light. My DW has struggled with interrupted sleep her whole life and now swears by melatonin, which is a supplement of a natural substance found in your body that supports sleep. Maybe you want to try that, too? Also, if it's temping anxiety, have you tried giving yourself a break from temping after you confirm ovulation and starting up again after AF leaves?

Afm, OMG. Last night DW was helping me check my cervical position, and she thought she noticed watery CM, but talked herself out of it because it's way too early - yesterday was CD8, and I usually O around CD17. This morning I noticed a temp spike, and thought how funny it is that our temps can bounce around so much between AF and O. I looked back at previous charts and noticed that it's somewhat normal for me to get a temp spike around CD8. Still oblivious... THEN I was reading through my Brill book looking for some totally different info this morning, and I came across the story of "Denise" (pages 231-2 for those following along at home) who had a similar situation and actually ovulates twice per month. So, I took an OPK and holy crap, it was a strong "almost" positive, just like it would be for a fade out after my usual O... I think I might be a double ovulator! Obviously I had no sperm at home right now so there's nothing I can do about it this cycle, but what great info to have if this cycle doesn't result in a BFP for me. I never would have OPKed this early if I hadn't read that passage in the book, but I sure will next cycle if I'm not pregnant yet. Here's a link to my charts for anyone who is curious or wants to share insights: http://FertilityFriend.com/home/3d8708/

[darthtunaqueen]

Melatonin is a godsend.  I take it because I'm a shift worker, but our ND put DW on it as it helps support normal hormone levels.  

I totally enjoyed the name chat!  DW took my name, as I'm HIGHLY attached to mine.  I really wanted our kids to have my last name, and she wanted to have the same last name as our kids, so she took my name!  :D  Love it!  Almost 2 years later and I still get a thrill out of seeing her name.  :D

It's pretty amazing how much TTC screws up your fertility signals.  Now that we're not TTC, mine are clear as day.  Maybe over the past 1.5 years I just got good at reading them?  I've never OPKd (DW is the intended GP for the moment). 

Good luck to all the TWW, I'm sorry for all the BFNs so far.  BUUUUMMEEERRRRRR.  

[joyseattle]

Darcy - Sorry you're out. Glad you're planning for December!

Sphinxy - That's crazy cool about the potential double ovulation! I've heard that's how some straight women end up with fraternal twins.

scorpioma - Thanks for checking in (and stalking my chart). It probably looks more promising than it really is because of the progesterone supplementation I'm doing. It makes me feel all sorts of "symptoms" too, so I'm not relying on the temps or physical signs, but still doing them to prove it's doing it's job (as evidenced by the highest temps I've ever had).

AFM: 9dpo/IUI here and trying to keep it together. Yesterday I went on a seven-mile walk with a friend, had a yummy lunch then "implantation" acupuncture and then used a groupon to the spa for a massage and pedi. It was soooo relaxing and just what I needed. I'm most likely going to a birth tonight so that will keep me distracted. I tested this morning and got a bfn, but that's to be expected at this point. I'm not sure if poas early and getting negatives softens the blow of a real one or just ramps up my nerves. I'll probably wait to test again until Sat or Sun (since I have the morning off), but I may try to hold out until Mon or even Tue (14dpo). If this cycle isn't it, I want the next one to start asap so we can get an insem in during December (there's a chance I'll be away after the 20th and I don't want to cut it too close). I'm also waiting to figure out lab fee coverage for the required labs to use the RE clinic in Jan.
 

[pokeyAC]

For those of you in California, I heard that this bill was recently signed by the Governor.  I'm not totally sure what it will do, but it sounds like progress.  It sounds like it might allow you to use fresh sperm from a known donor with fertility treatments, but it doesn't specifically say that the 6-month quarantine would be waived.  Any legal experts more familiar with it?

[fillefantome]

Now that I have HPTs in the house (thanks to the generosity of the Queer and Pregnant!), I caved and tested this afternoon. It was resoundingly negative, but since I'm only 9 DPO, not surprisingly or depressingly so. Found this interesting collected data on best day/time of day to test: http://www.countdowntopregnancy.com/pregnancy-test/pregnancy-tests-urine-sample.php, which was really my impetus to test tonight instead of waiting until tomorrow morning.

The plan is still to do the "real" test on Monday (my period is due Saturday or Sunday) and so anything I do before then feels like just that whole science experiment thing. I can't say I "feel pregnant" but I've been super tired and ready for bed at 5pm when I get off work (possible because this is my first winter back north after 8 years in Texas, and it's been getting dark at 3:30pm), my chest is killing me (normal PMS-symptom for me) and the smell thing seems to come and go. So, who knows?

Beginning to have moments of panic at the idea that I could actually be pregnant. I've wanted this forever, and I'm not going to change my mind about that, but every so often, I get hit with this momentary wave "oh, crap, it's just me, and I'm going to have another human being depending on me 100%. What have I done?" Also, I've been fretting about the concept of telling work folks I'm pregnant for some time now (I've been there less than a year, and I'd really like to discuss working from home or bringing the baby to work parttime (www.babiesatwork.com), rather than just sling hir into childcare at 6 weeks because I'm a one-income family. (Oh, paid maternity leave, how I wish you were mine!)), but I've just now really realized that telling people I'm pregnant is going to lead to me having the "who's the daddy" conversation with all and sundry. I know it's nobody's business, but I feel as though I'm going to end up explaining to far more people than I really want to, "No, I didn't just get knocked up. This took a lot of work." When you're single and you announce you're pregnant, it's not so much "Congratulations!" as it is "Congratulations?" I have no trouble justifying wanting a family even though I haven't found a partner, but it dips into some pretty personal stuff that I don't actually necessarily want to discuss with my colleagues. I suppose all I can really do is hope that I'm one of those Madonna-like "glowing" pregnant women so everyone can just tell how thrilled I am without even talking to me. Hah.

[Twomommyfamily]

Fille- that panic feeling has taken me over lately as well and we haven't even insem'd yet. Its just a realization that this is very soon potentially going to be very real. Its always been a distant, future thing, and now its nearly here and there is such an immense responsibility to care for this little life even from now, pre-conception. In the past, at previous jobs, I've also panic'd about the telling work part. Not currently though. And I think it will, I would assume, be a Congratulations! moment when you tell work you are pregnant. I've worked with single women who have announced and you can just tell when they say it that it was very much a planned/wanted/very happy event just by tone of voice, body language, etc. If you work in a setting where you are able to take your baby to work, that is amazing and I'm incredibly jealous. As it stands now, DP will be (if timing works out) finishing up a part of graduate school and will take a leave of absence or will quit her job entirely for 5-8 months after we have the baby, taking evening classes, and I'll be back at work once maternity leave it up. We have saved like crazy to make that a possibility. 

[DarcySD]

scorpioma - Thank you so much for the kind words. I think testing before I got my period and seeing my temps drop helped me stay calm. I had a little bit of warning before AF actually came. Congrats to you and your DW on your marriage. I am really enjoying being married. :)

sphinxy - Our cats are always running around and I am a light sleeper which is why I get interrupted sleep. I can usually fall back to sleep pretty quickly but sometimes I am up for a few minutes or I use the restroom and I am concerned about temping later because I am not getting the full 3 hour block of sleep before I temp. I just started temping again after my first insemination but years ago when I first tried it was so unreliable. I will definitely take breaks during my period but now I am really enjoying learning about my cycle and seeing my temp rise and stay up. 

How cool about your possible double ovulation!  Are you going to keep using the OPK's to see if you surge?

Joy - Thanks! Very excited for you and glad you pampered yourself a little!!!

Fille - Good luck!! I to often think about how things will work when I am done with maternity leave. I would love to stay at home but I really love my job and by staying there I will have a huge portion of my student loans taken care of. I am hoping that my employer will be flexible with my hours so we would only need a couple hours of childcare a day. 

[carmen358]

Originally Posted by pokeyAC 

For those of you in California, I heard that this bill was recently signed by the Governor.  I'm not totally sure what it will do, but it sounds like progress.  It sounds like it might allow you to use fresh sperm from a known donor with fertility treatments, but it doesn't specifically say that the 6-month quarantine would be waived.  Any legal experts more familiar with it?

Wow, you are 11 weeks already!! (just read your signature )

[sotohana]

Sphinxy- I read that part recently too and wondered about my own cycle! Not that I have any signs of that (so far as I can tell), but it just made me go "hmmm..." It sounds very promising for you, though! 

Joy- Your pampering day sounds luxurious. Glad to hear you've been taking care of yourself during your TWW.

Darcy- I hear you about temping prior to AF's expected arrival. There is something about it that softens the blow. I think of it like, when I temp and see that drop, then I don't even have to go back to bed. I'm already in bed. haha :)

Fille- I love that you shared that feeling with us. I can guarantee you that probably every other person on this board has felt that too at some point. Last night, in fact, I was reading a blog about a birth story and this story was so scary that I nearly convinced myself that I don't want to do this thing after all. lol. Ahhh... the rollercoaster :)

AFU-  I'm on CD 3. My girl time started really weirdly this month. Normally I will feel emotional the night before and know that I'm going to start in the morning. This time I felt very emotional about 8 days before I actually started. Then, I also spotted for 1.5 days before AF really came. That has never happened before. I'm thinking it might be because of the herbs I've been taking and the acupuncture. I mean, that sounds like 'duh,' but I actually didn't think I'd be able to feel any changes from herbs or acupuncture. In fact the changes have been very noticeable. My cycle is longer now and my symptoms more extreme. It's kinda neat!

So, I like to think that we'll try this month, but I'm not 100% sure. We think we want to do an at home ICI, so I guess that I should go online and buy a speculum and syringe, but I'm not sure how I'll be able to view my own cervix because I believe it is tipped backward. Can I just prop my butt up on some pillows to make it more visible? 

[Sphinxy]

Joy, I'm glad you said that because I've actually been starting to wonder today if it runs in my family - I have a straight cousin on my mother's side who gave birth to fraternal twins a couple years ago with no fertility meds. Darcy, today's OPK was what I would normally expect to see either the day before or the day after the surge, and I'm actually thinking based on my temps that I might have Od last night, which would mean I would get a fainter line tomorrow, not a surge. Today was my first OPK this cycle, but if my hunch is right I would have gotten my positive yesterday or the day before. So, while I don't actually expect a positive OPK tomorrow, I've decided that in order to get a really accurate read this cycle (and next if necessary), I am going to keep up with the OPKs straight through until AF arrives (or BFP, FX). Thankfully I've got plenty of cheap ones on hand. 

Joy, I love your idea of lining up relaxing and distracting things to do during the TWW. Luckily I have a short business trip planned during (what should be) my next one where I'll get to see some old friends. But I've also been looking for an excuse to try out the new massage services at my gym, this may be the perfect time... For both you and Fille, all I can say is good luck. I know for me around 8/9DPO is when my crazy train would start to jump the tracks. It sounds like you both are doing so well and we are cheering for you! Fille, I think your feelings are so genuine and normal - thank you for sharing. I know it's different than potentially being a single parent, but I too have struggled with the fear that telling my coworkers won't get to be just about "Congratulations!" but will likely lead to well-meaning but nonetheless intrusive questions about the donor, jokes about a turkey baster, etc., etc. I think it helps to have a plan, and it sounds like you are already formulating one. I for one didn't realize how helpful and necessary it was going to be that DW and I early on had a conversation about not sharing specific information about our donor, even with our families. But now when it comes up with people who know we are TTC, I'm glad that I already have a standard answer ready to go.

sotohana - Not to say it's the same, but I know I have a "tipped uterus", and we've had no trouble finding my cervix. DW doesn't even use a speculum to check it. We are only considering buying one for an at-home IUI if we get to that point. But for the ICIs it's still been super easy to find. I think the "tipped" usually refers to the angle of the cervix as it leads to the uterus, but it should still be reachable and identifiable. When I was at my midwife's office for the first IUI I was easily able to see it myself with a speculum and a mirror, no propping up necessary. Good luck!

[fmorris28]

Darcy, getting into the swing of the cycle is always super exciting. Good luck!!!

Scorp, Is that not crazy?! 3 people in different parts of the country all on just about the same cycle lol. Between the three of us someone is bound to get a BFP soon! Maybe it'll be all at the same time!!

Sphinxy, thats some interesting info! A double ovulater sounds promising! Better chances lol!! Makes meeh want to get into that book nd poke around a bit!

Joy, Seems like you're doing a good job keeping it together. Mye first IUI cycle I was all over the place! The second was actually very chill, I made it through the TWW without testing to mye surprise! I love groupons for pampering! I just got one for an hour massage for $32. I think the BFN early does both..atleast for meeh, i know what i saw, but then i know there's still hope. Hope everything goes well for you this cycle!!!

Fille, Don't panic at all! I think those feelings are normal. That babies at work is a genius idea! I went to the website and was completely jealous! Mye company is all over the world, but nothing at all like that! You're right its not peoples business, you can always keep it short and simple. Yes im pregnant and yes i am a single mother by choice, point blank and period. That way they know whats going on, but don't expect the details (that they really arent entitled to). Its not like we talk to our colleagues about how they're making babies and why. Dont fret, things will be just fine.

Sotohana, Mye girltime was weird this month too..5 days late for no reason! Thats never happened to meeh, maybe the swimmers or something affected it?? It is fun when you notice things changing..i remember the first time i felt mye self ovulate..IT WAS AWESOME! Lol It was a feeling i'd never felt before, i could see mye ovary on the right was a little swollen (bc im slender) and sure enought i was O'ing. I'm excited to see if the Fertilitea will change anything. This gets more exciting everyday lol!

AFM,

temping has been so challenging. and waking up at 5 this morning nd getting frisky did not help!!! I told DP she was supposed to keep meeh in the bed to temp, but instead she kept meeh in bed and raised mye temp so i knew it wouldnt be accurate! EPIC SIGH! I'm promising myself to do better!

[sotohana]

Side note: I just looked on the Maia Midwifery site and noticed that you can buy 1cc syringes and speculums from them. So, I did! The only drawback I see is that they say (after your order is processed) to please allow up to 3 weeks for delivery. 

Also- I forgot to tell y'all that my co-worker told me today in front of a bunch of other co-workers that she thought of me on Thanksgiving when she was basting her turkey. I had told her a few months back that DW and I would like babies some day. Wow. It was totally mortifying, but I couldn't help but laugh. 

[CascadiaMama]

Soto--I've heard that Alma midwifery sells them locally. Not sure if you need to officially be a patient.

[fillefantome]

Thanks everyone for all of the support! I definitely think my moments of panic are mostly the switch from "this is a distant, future thing" to "this just got real," as Twomommyfamily said, and, as an over planner extraordinaire, that's not a new feeling for me.

For the record, we don't have a Babies At Work program at my office, but it's a smallish non-profit org (25 here in our VT office), with lots of young families and a fairly flexible work culture (people regularly work from home for any number of reasons, including sick kids or needing quiet space to write-we're in an open office which can be distracting when you really need to focus), and I feel as though it's something I could pitch to our HR lady and management. If they don't go for that, we have one team member who's out on the west coast and works from home 100%, so that's not unheard of either. And, while my role is largely logistical/support right now (as junior member of my team), there's been some talk about hiring a dedicated team admin person (not someone like me who wants to move up) and moving me into a more "research and content production" role, to better use my writing skills, which would lend itself well to working from home. So, I don't really have reason to be nervous, other than the very idea of asking my employer to be flexible for me when the US system at the moment is very much based on us being flexible for them, and grateful just to have a job. It's also a very liberal office and town (and state), so I imagine no one will actually blink an eye about my being a single mom, once I get through the inevitable "we didn't even know you were seeing someone" phase of questions. (I'm not not out at my office, but, straight people can be shockingly oblivious if you don't do the full tap dance and "oh, by the way, I'm queer" routine or have a same sex partner to point at repeatedly.)

Sotohana, I cannot believe your coworker said that! I'm not known for being the most tactful of creatures, and I'm really open to talking about body stuff (my KD, the queer sociologist, thinks queer folks are, generally), but holy moly, that is beyond acceptable by about a mile. Actually, I have friends galore who might say that, but it's totally different in your professional world. Does this coworker have regular bouts of foot-in-mouth syndrome?
Edited by fillefantome - 11/30/12 at 6:53am

[scorpioma]

oh my god, the turkey baster joke.. come ON.

my mom dropped it this year, as well. CLUELESS straight people... GOODNESS.

HA! What are we going to do with them?!

[sotohana]

http://www.king5.com/news/local/Oregon-Zoo-elephant-has-300-pound-baby-girl-181561541.html

Great news from Oregon! Rose-Tu had her baby girl this morning. Elephants are such beautiful creatures. And we had a gorgeous double rainbow over the city this morning too. Both very good omens if you ask me.

[esenbee2]

Okay, got a question for you gals, I marked on Fertility Friend, Watery CM and it made the box green.  Then the next few days CM changed to Creamy.  Is Watery the next CM phase after Creamy or before?  For me it seems to be Dry, Watery, Creamy, Eggwhite.  Or am I ready my CM signs wrong?  +OPK just today.  Yesterday was fainter than the test line, today was darker.

[Sphinxy]

esenbee - According to the FF "lessons" that I read when I signed up, creamy usually comes before watery. But it's a little different for everyone, and I had watery before creamy this cycle. I'm pretty sure I still have the "all about cervical mucus" lesson from FF in my email. If you want a copy, send me a private message with your email address and I'll forward it to you.

[esenbee2]

I still have the lessons, I suppose I will go back and ready them over, and probably change FF on that date so it doesn't get all confused doing its determinations.  I had negative OPKs, so I don't think it was anything like a double ovulation.

[samy23]

Hello all, can I ask a personal question.. I inseminated today at home and 12 hours later feel 'sore' down there, has anyone else had this happen? Is it normal? I'm wondering if I could have maybe put the syringe in too far or something and bruised my cervix.. any thoughts? Im hoping it is just ovulation pain but I don't usually feel a soreness right down there.. ?