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October 28th Weekly thread - Page 2

post #21 of 82

Oh, and according to my useless phone app (meaning the 'advice' it gives daily is useless), I have 50 days to go...

post #22 of 82
Quote:
Originally Posted by tropicana74 View Post

Well, we are in PA so currently very rainy and supposed to get very windy. I think the whole state just declared a "state of emergency" since Hurricane Sandy is making her way across the area. Not too worried though...I think we are far enough away from the coast that the worst it will do is ruin Halloween for my kiddos. greensad.gif

 

Never mind. Just found out all the cities in the area are postponing trick-or-treating until Saturday! Yeah. biggrinbounce.gif  Sandy isn't going to ruin my kiddos cavity inducing, sugar raising, food coloring infused evening of fun!! winky.gif  (Just had to include a little pic of my munchkins going to a party over the weekend)!

 

 

700

post #23 of 82
Hi Mummas!!

So jealous that you are all halloweening it up! It sounds like so much fun!!!!
I love hearing about everyone's towns smile.gif it's crazy to imagine just how far apart we are and how different climates etc can be smile.gif
Will have to do a huge road trip and visit you all!

Tropicana- I'm glad to hear that the hurricane won't wreck everyone's fun! And how CUTE are your kids!!! Nawwwww!!!!
Sego- I love the idea how creating all the brothers and sisters shirts smile.gif what a gorgeous big family your little one will be born into!
Kel- I agree with you- the slush that snow brings isn't my favorite, but it is so romantic lol. How is your family by the way? Xx

DH left this morning for a week away greensad.gif booo. I've tried to pack my week with get togethers etc to keep myself busy.
Had my uni exam yesterday and I think it went well! I won't find out for ages tho so am not holding my breathe! And today I'm going to sit out in the gorgeous sun and write my sociology essay lol!

Oh funny thing happened this morning! I sat up in bed and just stared at my thighs in amazement... Then thought to myself "WHY are you staring at your thighs?!?!?!?" And I realized that I haven't seen them for months!!!!! LOL it must have been the angle I was sitting on that allowed me to view my legs hahahaha!!
post #24 of 82
post #25 of 82

Well, Sandy was pretty much a non-event at our house (although I am very aware that it wasn't a non-event other places!)  We had wind and rain and about 1/4 cup of water came in under a door at one point, although that was from the wind because there was no standing water outside.  The building I work in didn't flood although the power is off there.  I got a cold, though - ugh.  DH is here though and kept telling me all day yesterday to 'just relax' - so hard for me to do with so much that feels really crucial on my to-do list - but I did my best.  He helped the kids carve pumpkins, our internet never went out so the kids had a 'screen' day, and I did some sort of deep-level tidying that never gets done because there's never time.

 

Travelmumma - hope you can enjoy your alone-time!

 

Tropicana - your kids are cute!  Where in PA are you?  We are in Philly.

 

And I don't care how many days it is to my EDD.  My deadline (36 weeks) is Thanksgiving in the US, which is November 22, so it is time to FREAK OUT!  I sorted girl baby clothes this morning (we don't know if baby is boy/girl/other) so that's one thing done.  I was explaining to DS2 why this was important to me - when DD was born at 36 weeks we had NOTHING out yet - her 'recieving blanket' was a towel and her 'first outfit' was DS2's white t-shirt.  DD got all upset that her first outfit wasn't something cute and flowery! 

post #26 of 82

I need to remember to hop on here early!

Darkblue: Totally insane about your mom! I actually would be really freaked to have ashes in the house period. I love your plan with the house money. Very generous and a really beautiful gesture. I'm glad you were able to do something so lovely with this tough time.

 

Really glad to hear all the "I'm safe" stories. All of my NYC friends were really lucky and are safe, warm, well feed etc. Same with my friends/family in New England. I do have one friend who lives in FL now whose hometown in NJ was totally leveled:(

 

I only have 54 days left:) EEEKKK!  I have done very little for xmas:/ And we likely won't be able to do the shopping for the kids until the 17th...I'm hoping I have a lot of nesting energy. Although if we can get the insurance adjustment on our wrecked car, I might be able to do the kids gifts earlier. I'm not too worried about family away because they'll understand a late gift. In fact, we're going to wait on xmas cards so we can have a picture of all the kids together:) 

TM: Argh on the sister stuff:( How horrible. Too bad our families couldn't figure out a way to be supportive:/ And I hated the horror stories surrounding birth. I try to keep my stories realistic but positive. My baby shower is Sunday and it's really cool because I was totally not expecting one (child number 5) but some new friends here are all giddy about throwing one for another friend and me. 

 

I'm in Athens, GA which is an awesome college town. This is where REM formed, and the members still have houses around here. I keep hoping I'll bump into Michael Stipe although I've heard he can be a jerk. Blah. Anyway, it's very funky and fun. The parenting crowd is of kind weird though. We have a lot of kids for the area and since we're not conservative, it throws people off:) Plus a lot of the families are really young and new whereas we are a bit older and have a 12 year old. The weather is great though:) Very hot in the summer, and not too cold in the winter. We're having a "cold" spell right now (high is 55). Being from Maine I find this fab! There's a ton of parks, greenways, and nature parks around so we get outside to hike often. We also have a neat little downtown area with funky shops and eateries. Sadly, we will only have about 2.5 more years here. Once dh finishes his PhD we have to move where he can find work. 

 

So our latest problem revolves around telling dh's family about Jude's diagnosis. He just told them I'm pregnant (long story they are not supportive of our family size and are very vocal about it). His mom is coming around the time I give birth but there is a chance that Jude won't show many of the physical characteristics of Down syndrome. If that's the case, we could tell MIL once she's back in Mexico. If she does shows sings, it will make things harder. Just sigh. I know they are going to freak out, and be really really annoying. My husband and I are so beyond that right now...right now we're at a place where we don't even want to talk about Down syndrome anymore. Jude is going to be who she is and I want to give her a chance to be that person without her diagnosis dragging her down. I also don't feel like I can deal with the inlaws going through a very normal grieving process when we already over it. I don't know...it's so complicated. 

post #27 of 82
Quote:
Originally Posted by GreenTeaGinger61 View Post

So our latest problem revolves around telling dh's family about Jude's diagnosis. He just told them I'm pregnant (long story they are not supportive of our family size and are very vocal about it). His mom is coming around the time I give birth but there is a chance that Jude won't show many of the physical characteristics of Down syndrome. If that's the case, we could tell MIL once she's back in Mexico.

How much time do you have before the birth.  Have you thought about telling them now in advance.  If they're still in Mexico now then they would mostly deal with that away from you and then maybe accept and move past it by the time she was at the birth.  You could have your DH sort of screen the calls, etc. and deal with their questions, etc.  Though I know different families are going to deal with this differently.  I would hope that if they have any shred of maturity they can find a way to keep their feelings, emotions and opinions at bay in a way that does not affect your family negatively.

 

That was what I was thinking only because I'm kind of wondering if you're going to feel anxious around the birth/having them there to deal with the initial shock in case they do find out around the time of the birth.  I think you need to look into how you're going to feel and the different scenarios.  I guess that's how I think since I'm a pregnant woman, do whatever is going to be better for the mom and baby.  

post #28 of 82

sego: Haha, no, it didn't come up -- the lady who showed it to me (a friend of the owner) didn't even notice I was pregnant! Which seems crazy, but I had a big shoulder bag and she was pretty preoccupied with actually showing the place. So no questions about it at all! That's actually the whole reason we're renting a place (and not staying in a place owned by someone we know): so we can have the birth without needing to deal with the questions, etc. It is a little funny, but we'll be taking extra care to make sure nothing in her place is damaged or anything, so I have a clean conscience about it. ;) 

 

Kel, thanks for those links! I love Keeper of the Home and am a big fan of her recipes and a lot of her birth/pregnancy posts. Such a great resource!

post #29 of 82
Quote:
Originally Posted by phatchristy View Post

How much time do you have before the birth.  Have you thought about telling them now in advance.  If they're still in Mexico now then they would mostly deal with that away from you and then maybe accept and move past it by the time she was at the birth.  You could have your DH sort of screen the calls, etc. and deal with their questions, etc.  Though I know different families are going to deal with this differently.  I would hope that if they have any shred of maturity they can find a way to keep their feelings, emotions and opinions at bay in a way that does not affect your family negatively.

 

That was what I was thinking only because I'm kind of wondering if you're going to feel anxious around the birth/having them there to deal with the initial shock in case they do find out around the time of the birth.  I think you need to look into how you're going to feel and the different scenarios.  I guess that's how I think since I'm a pregnant woman, do whatever is going to be better for the mom and baby.  

We could tell them and dh would have to field the calls as I don't speak Spanish well enough to even answer their questions. My big concern about that is that dh is at the end of his semester. He has a ton of work between writing papers, preparing for and attending conferences and teaching/grading, etc. They will have a million suggestions and questions and really just be pestering (this happened when we first found our son has epilepsy and they READ NONE of the links we sent them). H's mom has really nailed down the helpless role in their family so she wants everyone to spoon fed her information, and his dad just gets gruff because he's worried. 

A lot of families don't tell their family until after the birth so it's not unheard of. I don't know how I feel about her finding out at the birth. I'd like to think she'd pull on her big girl panties and be supportive but she has a history of being really hysterical about things. I also worry that H will end up having to "care" for her instead of for us and that is not something I want either. If we could just hold off telling her until she's back in Mexico it would be ideal but it's an unknown. I'm kind of leaving it up to dh while offering my suggestions. Since he's the one who will have to deal with them the most, I figure he can make the final decision.

post #30 of 82

Greantea, not trying to be insensitive (the opposite actually) but does she HAVE to come before the birth? Sounds like it would be better for you if you had a bit of time to process things with Jude after she is born before you have to deal with someone else's hysteria about it, kwim? Especially if it would mean your DH having to tend to her needs at a time when you are really going to need each other.  I am so sorry that you have one more thing on your plate to think about/deal with at this point. irked.gif

post #31 of 82

Mamas, I have been "come and go" and a real thread stalker this pregnancy. I think that as I'm getting closer to the end of this pregnancy and needing to rest more I may find more time to interact. We are all getting so close. I saw a few of you posted how many days you had left until your edd, so I looked mine up: 33 DAYS!!! Oh my goodness! And if the pattern follows my last 2, then you can take 10 days off that! Yikes! I feel so unprepared, and very weepy about it. My poor DH is no help. He just wants to support me in whatever I do when it comes to birth EXCEPT for an unassisted birth and I can respect that and have to since he can get in trouble should someone find out (we live in military housing). It's just really hard for me, because I was planning on switching to a homebirth, but then it became very apparent that we NEEDED a new car so I let go of that idea thinking I would be OK with switching to the freestanding birth center. I am not at peace with the hospital idea or birth center idea and I need to choose quickly. The hospital is free, the CNM's are great there, but they have no tubs and I'd have to fight hospital policies. The birth center midwives are also great, but they have ONE tub they use for waterbirths (and even then it looks rather shallow), and if I have to transfer for an emergency my DH won't be able to come (no kids are allowed in the hospital they transfer too), and I have an out-of-pocket expense that will make the next month VERY tight. It wouldn't be much of an issue, but I still need diapers, and a few NB outfits. On top of that, my in-laws are coming down for Christmas. That is 4 extra people in my home that I have to feed (gifts will be for kids only, whether they like it or not!). And they have a tendency to undermine my parenting by making comments of how they would have spanked, or how it's OK if they have a lot of sugar because it's Christmas. They JUST sent my girls 4 bags of candy for Halloween. They KNOW we don't eat that much sugar. Ugh... I don't even know where they would sleep... Once upon a time my DH's parents would have slept in my DS's room, because he slept with us. But now my DS sleeps in his room, and we all sleep so much better. I'm not about to mess with that, especially with a NB waking up every 2-3 hours to eat. GAH... sorry for the rant. Apparently I have a lot on my mind and am feeling a bit overwhelmed.

 

Chica - How exciting that you get your homebirth!

 

DarkBlue - *hugs* SO glad you were home and safe before the storm.

 

TM - Not having your DH home is never fun, and I totally relate. It happens every so often here. Hope you enjoy your extra time with friends though! btw, we live in the desert with a huge Mexican influence. Fall is just arriving, and it's still warm and we'll be lucky if we see snow! I'm a tid bit jealous of those that get snow! We drive 2 hours into the NM mountains to see it!

 

Kel - Thanks for posting those links! Good info!

 

And to whoever is making three in a row work in a Prius - thumbs up! We did it in my dad's Prius, and it's totally doable with the right seats! And I know I missed people, but I my DD just reminded me of the time which means SCHOOL WORK!

post #32 of 82
Quote:
Originally Posted by madis81 View Post

 On top of that, my in-laws are coming down for Christmas. That is 4 extra people in my home that I have to feed (gifts will be for kids only, whether they like it or not!). And they have a tendency to undermine my parenting by making comments of how they would have spanked, or how it's OK if they have a lot of sugar because it's Christmas. They JUST sent my girls 4 bags of candy for Halloween. They KNOW we don't eat that much sugar. Ugh... I don't even know where they would sleep... Once upon a time my DH's parents would have slept in my DS's room, because he slept with us. But now my DS sleeps in his room, and we all sleep so much better. I'm not about to mess with that, especially with a NB waking up every 2-3 hours to eat. GAH... sorry for the rant. 

Now I can answer and share in sympathy:) 

Normally I am very anal about inlaws or even my family here during xmas. Xmas is our family time BUT summer was busier than we though so MIL didn't end up coming. Plus we had made plans last year to go to mexico but then I got pregnant and that put a stop to those plans. This means that H hasn't seen his mother in over a year. I don't feel like I can begrudge him that time. In addition, we also thought that Jude was going to be facing significant health issues and that maybe for once MIL would help instead of being a PITA. I esp. felt like it would be good if I had to stay with Jude in the hospital...now that things are looking really good...not so much fun. 

And oh my inlaws stay here as well. Our house is super tiny and we have one bathroom:/ They're from Mexico and from what I can figure out it's a big insult to even suggest staying elsewhere. The same happens when we visit them as well...I tried to talk H into renting an apartment for the six weeks we were there last time. Luckily I don't understand Spanish enough to know she's bitching about me but dh ends up being pissy because she nags at him about everything...homeschooling, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, etc. Really the whole issue is that we are not clones of them and she takes that as a huge insult to her parenting which it's not. She was actually a really good parent, we just choose to do things differently.

post #33 of 82
A thought just came to me.... Many of us have problematic relationships with our parents... I just love that we are already looking after, caring and loving our little ones so much more than some of us were ever loved... I think our children are lucky smile.gif I really do.

GreenTea- urgh about the in laws! I didn't get to read your reply but does MIL have to come down for the birth?? If it were me I would be more inclined to tell them sooner rather than later. Like you said there may be a period of dealing and grief that they could go through and if they are going through this at the birth or while visiting it could take away from your motherly in love hormones ??? That's just a thought tho, I don't mean to press my own ideas onto you xxx ahh and STILL so loving her name!!!! Lol!! (Oh and would you like me to,start your spotlight?)

Madis- I'm sorry you are having a rough time. I think lots of us have been weepy lately, I have put my wee pines down to hormones and lack of quality sleep. Would some time on your own be possible before the craziness that Christmas and baby begins? Xxx

Chica- I'm in love with the idea of your new place!!! smile.gif that sounds so good!! And like a really great solution to all the moving confusion smile.gif lol when we applied for the house we are in now (rental property) I scoured through the contract to see if it mentioned anything about birthing or birth pools lol! And nope! They obviously haven't thought of it! smile.gif I think I may just be blessing this house with a new life for the first time! Perhaps you are doing the same smile.gif !!!

MamaBeakley- sooo glad that you are all alright. Not good about the added stress and drama tho! I agree with your DH, perhaps some nice relaxing along time would be good for you ?? Xxx

AFM- I thought I'd be all lonely with DH away but actually enjoying it a bit! I made my fav food and ate a delicious desert and watched terrible tv. smile.gif it was just yesterday that I realized that this may in fact be the last time that it truly alone for a long time!! smile.gif there is a baby coming soon!!!
Oh! Also I had an arse whipping conversation with my mum last night!!!! I rang her up and told her to keep her opinions to herself! Yes this babe is going to be homebirthed and breastfed, worn and cloth nappied, and if she has any issues with that then she can bugger right off! LOL it was AWESOME!!!!!
post #34 of 82

Hi Everyone - again, I won't do much in the way of personals. I am super impressed with those of you that do!

 

Darkblue - I know it's a little late, but welcome back. I'm glad you're back in your space and can move on.

 

Chica - yay for the rental and homebirth. I definitely don't think you need to tell them. You can definitely protect things.

 

Ginger - that is a tough situation with your MIL. What about writing her a letter or email and including some good concise reading material for her that will answer most of her questions? Although, that might be harder to find in Spanish... ugh. That way she can have her time to process on her own.

 

My countdown is 29-31 days (earliest to latest due date). Yikes! I'm at the very beginning of this DDC, but who knows?! It could be before or after. I've been spending so much of this pregnancy preparing to go late, now I really want to be ready just in case the baby comes early. I actually wanted to be finished this last weekend, but we got a lot done, but are not still ready. I guess I'm nesting, but I don't have the nesting energy I thought I would. I just feel a bit panicky about not having things ready just in case - so I plow through and am exhausted. We (my hubs really) moved all the furniture we needed to move to make space in the spare room for the birth - and for us to have a better bed for cosleeping. I got all the baby clothes washed, sorted and put away. I got the HB supplies we didn't already have and now we still have some piles of random baby and not baby stuff to deal with from the spare room. So really if the baby came early, except for the problem of the piles of stuff in the spare room, we'd be fine.

 

Tonight is our homevisit with my midwife team and they bring the birth pool, birth kit, etc! So then we will really be ready.

 

The one ironic think I'm not ready for is the diapers I wanted to make! I did an assessment of my stash and I'm grand on NB and small wraps and have a fair number of NB fitted and prefolds. But definitely not enough. Maybe enough for 1 day - I figure we need about a dozen more prefolds. I really wanted to make these. My current plan is to continue to plan to make them. I think I'll have time after my maternity leave starts (Nov 15) - and if I totally get stressed, I'll just purchase some prefolds and if needed purchase some disposables (which I really don't want to do, but may have to).

post #35 of 82
A quick question for those experienced mummas-

Baby is fully engaged on my cervix already. I hit 33 weeks this Friday. I'm measuring a little ahead, and have had a few bouts of full on BH contrax, and the other day some proper time able contrax.
I'm squirting milk all over the place too... And am freakishly nesting. ALOT. With bouts of energy only for nesting/cleaning.

All of this (and the fact that everyone just has a feeling I'm gonna go early) has made me wonder if these are signs of perhaps having an early bub???
Because we are planning a Homebirth, our magic date is 36 weeks, so I'm hoping nothing before that....

It's such a first time mum question but- do you think I could go early???
post #36 of 82

It's possible...but a lot of what you're feeling is pretty normal even at 33 weeks. I've had all of the above with my last three pregnancies...none of it with my first and he was early:P In fact, with R, I had regular contractions for WEEKS before I actually had her. It was nerve wracking. Birth is so filled with the unknown. 

post #37 of 82

Ginger, my own mother takes her role as helpless martyr very seriously, so I know EXACTLY what your dh is dealing with. (well, I guess I'm lucky in that I have a big brother who is the hand-holder; he likes to feel useful, and I would refuse to do it anyway, lol.) But I totally get why you're leaving things up to him to deal with however he's most comfortable. Are you getting regular, high-def scans? I'm wondering that since you can "see" so much that way that you guys could totally get away with not saying anything until the IL's are back in Mexico. And good luck to your dh, having to run around like crazy at the end of semester on top of the growing family (with special needs that may or may not--hopefully not--require special attention right away). And to you for dealing with your family while preggo and dh being basically out of commission with school stuff! (I know it sounds terribly selfish, but my dh was looking at a PhD program at GaTech last year, but thankfully has decided against pursuing such a hardcore academic degree. He was going to go through a fellowship program with the company he works for; it would be an accelerated class load, and we'd return to KC immediately. I told him there's a reason guys with families don't freaking do it...but I'd support him if he chose to. <--see? I'm a good partner.)

 

Madis, what a conundrum...It's hard to make those birth decisions! The first time around, DH and I compromised and went with the birth center, but it was partially covered by insurance, so that helped to make it a bit easier. Sorry you have to deal with family inconveniences on top of it. I don't suppose you can just tell your IL's to keep their distance for a while, huh? Maybe inform them that they need to bring an air mattress so they can sleep in the living room--at least maybe they won't stay very long? ;)

 

AFM, I just realized this morning that I signed up to do an original reading at my church service this weekend. Well, I knew I had done it, but I had forgotten until this morning, and they finally announced the new month's service topics, so I thought I'd have some guidance as to what to write about. Except this Sunday's is pretty random and not directly relatable to/by myself. I may have some ideas, but have to write it all out, then do my usual editing of 80% of what I wrote, lol. (the part is short, but this is how I compose) I'm feeling a wee bit stressed about it! I do it again in 2 weeks...and then nothing until several weeks after babe arrives!

 

My heartburn hasn't gotten all that much better--but I added an extra Pepcid (taking 3 OTC strength/day now--I used to be on Rx GERD meds, so I know that's not *too* much, but YIKES, I've still got about 7 weeks to go!). I now want to sleep by 10pm, but have to wait for some hb relief before I go to bed. Then I'm tired all day. And being exhausted while trying to get myself and the boys back to a school work schedule is a PITA. Monday we were finished at 7:20PM (!) and Tuesday at 6:30PM. Oy--we're usually done by 4 at the very latest on a bad day. Tomorrow being Halloween, I promised them I'd get up early and we'd get schoolwork finished early, have a relaxing afternoon, and then have time to get ready and Trick or Treat with friends. Only my hb is still killing me, so I'm still not asleep. Tomorrow morning's gonna suuuck. (we took 2 weeks off: 1 b/c DH was out of town and I couldn't handle everything on my own, and 1 b/c we were all really sick and miserable.) Now I'm feeling a bit panicky about getting "enough" accomplished before baby arrives. 

 

...and my other ticker says 45 days for me. o.O

post #38 of 82

Still waiting on this cold to go away. Blargh.

 

 

GreenTeaGinger, I'm sorry your in-laws are bringing negative energy around at this time and I agree with PPs who suggested that maybe they can wait a bit after the birth before coming? I had to cut my own parents off from coming anywhere near us around the birth, because they just drain all the positive feelings and make it about themselves. I'm convinced that their presence sent me into labor earlier than I needed last time. irked.gif And what is it with parents who want their children to parent just like them? As we gain experience, we should be parenting differently. I would hope that each generation gets a little better at parenting than the previous one. That's progress, isn't it? OAN: We're in Conyers, so we're only about an hour away from you. I love Athens! thumb.gif

 

TravelMumma, I had very similar early symptoms with my first pregnancy too. I ended up going a week late. Interestingly, with each pregnancy after that I've seen fewer of those signs and yet I've gone into labor earlier and earlier. I'm at 35 weeks with this one and I haven't had any colostrum or lightening. But the MW says baby's been head down since 28 weeks, so go figure.

 

Lulubikes, I wanted to make this baby's entire diaper stash too. I ended up buying a lot of used stuff on DiaperSwappers and just making a few RRPs, t-shirt fitteds, and prefolds. I have zero regrets... winky.gif

post #39 of 82

travelmumma - I agree with the other mamas that despite all your symptoms that it doesn't mean that you'll go early.  I'm guessing you'll hang on til your due date, at least - so now you have a counter prediction;)  My baby has also been head down for ages, at least since 27 weeks, but my babies never "drop" until I'm actually in labor - and then there are babies like yours that engage very early, but can just hang out there for weeks on end...  Your body may just be in high gear because it's the first time its done this - each of my pregnancies has been more mellow with less symptoms than the last! 

post #40 of 82

Thanks all for the advice. There's no way out of the trip at this point. We suggested the time and backing out now would be problematic. I don't mind her being here as she behaves herself if husband is around. I'm more worried about drama over Down syndrome and when it's going to be best to deal with. She may keep it to herself...it's hard to tell. She was horrible through menopause and it left a bad taste in my mouth so I don't fully trust her anymore. But she has been better...I just need to let go of some stuff too. 

We are getting very good ultrasounds but it's hard to get a good look at her face because she's so low and she's all curled up on herself LOL. But from reading stories denial seems to be very intense with a lot of family members so she might just pretend to not see it? Who knows!? Oh and there are a TON of resource in Spanish. I have a whole list of links but it's hard because they just wont' read them. They'll talk to their friends who don't know shit and then act like this information is more on target then what we sent (eye roll).

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