So I have copped a LOT of negativity this pregnancy around us planning a Homebirth, so I want to be prepared and have one or two door signs ready for when things begin.
Basically I want them to say:
Hi, we are labouring in here. Please do not knock or call out. You do not need to call an ambulance or the police. We have our midwife here and what we are doing is planned and legal. Thanks and bugger off!!!!!!
Hi, bub has arrived and we are resting and getting to know each other. Unless you have been invited please go away.
Yes our bub was homebirthed, and if you have anything at all negative to say to say about this then you can piss right off.
Yes our bub is breastfeeding exclusively and if you have anything at all negative to say then you can piss right off.
We are all learning to be a family and your advice is best kept to yourself.
Please limit your stay and remember that Mumma just ran a marathon with her vagina so we need REST!
Please help out around the house.
If you think this sign doesn't apply to you- then it especially applies to you!!!!
You can see that we have really have a supportive family.. NOT. And as bitchy as it sounds I need something fairly to the point especially around the home birthing/breastfeeding issue as I've had people full on attack me around this..
Any ideas as to how I can say this, but perhaps a little more nicely lol