new here and looking for friendly advice from like minded moms

[bobbijean]

Hello
I've been searching for other like minded mommies to discuss things with. I have a dilemma, but first let me tell you a bit about me... I'm pretty granola, not totally, but you know, i don't vaccinate, share a family bed, still nurse my two year old despite all kinds of negative comments about it. I gave birth to my daughter in water pretty much unassisted, but i had a midwife present. i have an extremely hard time finding other moms who don't think my parenting styles and choices are crazy, so maybe this is the wrong place for this thread, but i relate to you all.
I'm 30, i have a twelve year old son,a two year old daughter, and I'm 8 weeks pregnant. My dilemma is this, i really want uc! However, i pushed my daughter out in like less than a minute and now i have a vaginal vault prolapse and rectocyle hernia. (not sure i spelled that right). She was 6lbs 5oz at 37 weeks, so not big at all. I'm concerned of full on uterine prolapse and need for surgery if i birth vaginally again. The way my condition is now, i have no pain or complications other than a bulge sticking out of my vagina when i sit on the toilet and the need to hold that bulge with my hand and put pressure on it when i have bowel movements sometimes. Kegels have done nothing to improve the situation, and I'm not incontinent. I feel like my only option is to not only have this baby in a hospital (yuck!), but have a c section! I think a lot of you ladies will understand how terrifying C section is for me. All those doctors and nurses jostling my babyaround and treating me like i don't know what's best for me and my child. And then the c itself.
Sorry this is so long. I'd really like to know your thoughts and opinions ladies. Maybe some of you have had this situation yourselves? I'd really love to know. Thank you so much in advance!

[bobbijean]

Perhaps my question is too embarrassing? I know this is very common, but this is another part of my problem. Nobody wants to talk about it. I made an ob appointment today, but I'm certain he will say i should go with a c section. I'd really like to hear from some other moms that have had these types of hernias. Did you birth normally anyway? How did your pelvic floor hold up? Was it worse afterward? Or would you rather not risk it?
Like i said, right now i have no pain or complications, just have to support my perineum if i haven't eaten enough fiber. The bulging when i sit on the toilet was alarming at first, but I've grown used to it. Its about golf ball sized I'd say. And that's the only time it bulges.
Anyway, any feedback would be greatly appreciated. After the beautiful peaceful birth off my daughter, its so difficult to go back to a hospital, let alone surgery.

[Viola]

I'm sorry, I have no information in this.  Maybe try posting in the midwife area.  Hope you get some answers or some shared experiences to help you!

[bobbijean]

Thank you I'll try that.

[AbigailG]

I don't have any personal experience either but I would try to talk to an OB and a midwife and maybe some moms before I made any birth plans. If a C section is the safest thing (sometimes they are!) you can still have a really empowered, peaceful birth. Good luck mama!


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[miilemons]

I don't have any personal experience with the hernia or prolapse or anything like that, but I can tell you 100% honestly that if I was in your position it would be very hard for me to come to terms with *having* to have a c-section. And in your case I would say it is probably going to be safer to go with a c-section as far as your body goes. Although I would be grateful that I had 9 months to plan the most peaceful, up to my expectations c-section I could. I would be terrified about having to have the surgery but I would make the best out of it. 

[Nokomis]

No personal experience here, but was reminded of a fascinating blog post about prolapse & incontinence that might help you in some way?

https://misskalypso.wordpress.com/2011/09/21/incontinenceprolapsepelvicfloorhealth/

[bobbijean]

Thank you ladies very much. I'm scared of surgery, and having a baby in a hospital at all, but i need my vagina for a while longer, so I'm probably going to not risk it and go with a section :-) I'm meeting with the ob on Wednesday. He was very nice when i had a mc several years ago. Hopefully we have a good hospital experience.

[bobbijean]

Thank you ladies very much. I'm scared of surgery, and having a baby in a hospital at all, but i need my vagina for a while longer, so I'm probably going to not risk it and go with a section :-) I'm meeting with the ob on Wednesday. He was very nice when i had a mc several years ago. Hopefully we have a good hospital experience.

[bobbijean]

Omg, so sorry for the extra posts!i don't know what happened. Not sure how to delete them from my phone.

[miilemons]

I hope your OB works with you on a "natural" and peaceful c-section! Best of luck hun.