or Connect
Mothering › Groups › September 2012 Due Date Club › Discussions › Weekly chat: Oct 29-Nov 4

Weekly chat: Oct 29-Nov 4

post #1 of 50
Thread Starter 

Whoops, we forgot to start a new chat. 

 

How's everyone doing this week!

post #2 of 50

Hey, congratulations on the job opportunity and good luck to you two in your travels! Hank and I are attempting our first road trip today. Four hour drive to Colorado to go visit with friends and family for a week. I'm hoping everything goes well. We got a new car seat that he doesn't seem to mind much and I'm timing it so that we leave around his usual nap time. I hope it works out!!

post #3 of 50

Love to hear about the babies traveling, looking forward to hearing how it goes + any tips! 

 

Next month we're taking a 4-5 hour drive to our favorite spot to gorge on pasta and tiramisu . . . so funny because we have been making this trip a couple times/year for the last four years and staying at the same place, and now DH is coming up with all of these things we need to change - like saying that this or that restaurant might not like babies, the hotel is too far to walk into town with the baby etc.  I'm the one who does the vaaast majority of our childcare and can't think of a single thing we'll need to change outside of the normal taking it slower type stuff, it's actually a very baby friendly trip. But hey, if DH wants to plan it all I'm happy to sit back and enjoy the ride!

 

James is getting to be SO much easier! I am loving life.  He sits in the bouncy seat and I have a full 7-10 minutes for a shower every morning, I can put him in the sling and wear him around the house, and he'll sit on the bed and look around and kick his legs while I clean up our room or fold laundry.  It's so, so, so nice.  I have even started making real meals again at dinnertime, although I start at about 4:30pm to leave time for nursing or other interruptions.

 

My in-laws are gone - aaaaaahhhh it feels good to have my house completely to myself! Their comments have gone from eye-twitch inducing to hilarious now that they're halfway across the world.  Oh Hyde, the hotel is a great idea! I feel you on the lack of normal schedule, then baby gets all thrown off and over-stimmed, fussy and difficult to calm and put to sleep, gah. 

 

So we were going to dress the LO up as a truffle pig for Halloween, but yesterday my mom sent me a pic of my brother, his wife, and their son (7 weeks older than James) dressed up as Red Ridinghood, the Wolf, and ... for the baby, a pink pig! They look GREAT, we laughed to hard that of course my brother and I unknowingly both wanted to dress our babies up the same for Halloween.  But since my mother just lives to compare the two boys DH and I decided that we needed a plan B ASAP :) After much discussion and laughter as we scavenged the house for material (in case I couldn't leave the house today because of my foot! Still hobbling.) we came up with about ten options, the best one was a chicken: yellow footie jams with the cut-off yellow fingers of a kitchen glove as the comb -haha.  He is South African so he doesn't really 'get' Halloween.  Omg at one point he suggested we dress him in white and set him on our white exercise ball to be a snowman??!! I seriously love being married. <3 <3 In the end we did come up with something, I'll post pics tomorrow! Can't wait to see everyone else's!

 

I hope everyone is surviving Sandy, I can hardly believe what I'm seeing on the news. 

post #4 of 50

I've been cooking again too for about 2 weeks now. But I learned pretty quickly that I had to do a lot either the night before or during his nap during the day in order to eat at a reasonable hour. LOL

 

I have a photo shoot booked for all 3 of the kids this Saturday! I really, really hope Dexter cooperates.

 

Glad everyone seems to be doing well! Congrats on the job, Anya!

post #5 of 50

Still not cooking "for the family", but it was never a priority in our house for me to cook. DH is a picky eater and gets take out a lot. Once he gets something in his head that he wants... nothing I would make would do. He is only of those lucky bastards who is tall and lean/athletic looking though he rare works out other than occasional hikes and can pretty much eat whatever he wants, even at the age of 37. He already stole all the snickers out of the halloween candy bag from costco.. the 150 piece assorted chocolate bag, and made a good dent on the rest. I told him its his duty to go to the store today and buy more candy....

 

I cook mostly whole food gluten free vegan... so I think its all yummy, but not many people relate. I did start cooking a few dishes for myself, but usually cook it during the day when I have someone to watch my son so I just have to worrry about DD. I made morrocan spiced spaghetti squash and some pumpkin oatmeal pancakes (I posted a recipe for blueberry oatmeal pancakes a few weeks ago, I just subbed pumpkin for banana and swapped walnuts for blueberries.). I also roasted some apples and butternut squash to top a salad. Other than that Im just eating vegan protein shakes and throwing together salads as I really want to lost these last 12 pounds.

 

I decided to take a late "maternity leave" from my business/self employment. Broke down sobbing on monday because I felt as though I was failing at motherhood and my business. You cant do both well at the same time and I feel like Ive already missed so much quality time trying to frantically get work done with a newborn and not giving her the attention she deserves or the time I needed to recover emotionally and physically PP. I also miss my son. DH has taken over most of the duties in the morning and evening when we dont have a nanny and then our nanny takes him to a lot of fun places during hte week. I had to work through his first year too. But thats the toll of being equally financially responsible for the family. I did have a crisis come up with work 2 days post partum with DD that had to be dealt with or else I risked losing my business and my entire income, so I couldnt take time off during the last 7 weeks. I have taken care of the problem FINALLY  but emotionally I am a wreck. Its really hard feeling as though I am an absentee mom... I know in my head Im not. Im there for both of them all day, just hate that Im constantly trying to figure out how to work with a baby in my lap or pass one of both kids off to get work done. I was looking over the pictures from my sons first year and I feel as though it passed so quickly. I wish I could relive those days again! At least I took about a million pictures. Again, I was there, I guess Im just feeling like this time with the kiddos is really precious and I want to appreciate it as much as I can,

 

So... today was my first day. Its really hard for me to leave work because I am a work-a-holic and want to make sure my income stays up to support my family. Luckily, my income should stay the same if I leave it for a few weeks (knock on wood no other big problems arise!). Today I went with out nanny to the zoo and had a lot of fun. It made me soo happy to being to spend time with both kiddos!

post #6 of 50

Jules, worldshakerz, Miranda, thank you for the moral support. :) I'm visitor-free as of this a.m. and at breakfast my husband thanked me for making his mom feel welcome, at least. I said sure- but I still would like to avoid two week visits in the future. Why? he asks. Oy. Why indeed.. eyesroll.gif

 

Congrats on the new job, Alison!

 

Alli, I'm glad you're able to take some time and hope you really enjoy it.

 

Hats off to road trippers. I have family 11-12 hours away and haven't even begun to think about it. R. is sometimes okay but other times gets waaay indignant about being restrained.. we'd have to do it entirely overnight, I think.

Miranda, congratulations on getting your house back! Seems like the right occasion for this emoticon, right?banana.gif

 

R. turned six weeks on Monday. Yesterday we had our final midwife appointment (so sad) and she is up 3.5lbs total, to 9lbs (!). I had them measure her and she's 2.5 inches longer and her head circumference has grown by 2 inches*. My mw was going to do a pap smear, but couldn't, because I'm 90% sure my period is back. Don't mind it, really, but I did not see that one coming, especially because the babe nurses so very frequently. (Possibly, I guess, sixth week bleed.. time will tell.)

 

(*(As an aside- there are plenty of babies born at the size R. is now, but I can't imagine having given birth to one. It would've worked out, of course, but it's just hard for me to wrap my mind around. And--weighing in late on the done or not topic--I'm not sure I'll have a chance to find out. This could totally change in another year or two but right now I can see stopping at one. Pregnancy, at least. My final assessment is that overall, hiccups and flutters aside, I did not really enjoy being pregnant. And it exacts such a toll on your body, for so long.. I was not really running at full capacity at any point in almost a year of creating and sustaining this critter, and as glad as I am to have her I'm just not sure I want to sign up for that again. Another newborn/raising other kids, I can see. Perhaps adoption is in the cards..)

 

Cooking: Hahahahahahhahahahhaaaaha. (One day.. I hope..)


Edited by hyde - 10/31/12 at 7:56am
post #7 of 50

hyde, mother nature has a way of making you forget all the negatives. In a year, you'll remember things like "oh yeah, it hurt but it wasn't that bad." Or "yeah, I was uncomfortable but it didn't last that long." And you'll believe yourself. LOL

 

Also, Dexter was 11 lbs when he was born. 9 lbs would look small to me. LOL!

 

After I was considering having another baby - I spoke to DH. I just figured he would jump on the chance to have another baby but he said he didn't want more! I was shocked but also relieved. It takes the pressure off of me to choose/agree to have another. We just won't be. So he will be getting the big V, probably in the new year. Perhaps it should be sooner if he ever wants to have sex with me again. I do NOT want to have Irish twins.

post #8 of 50

My baby was 9 lbs when born and it wasnt that bad. I am not a large person, but decent sized hips but out she came! I would do it again.... totally... but not for a while, even though I hate being pregnant with a passion. I do like the result though. On that note, put off husbands vascetomy because we arent sure, but we sure dont want irish triplets! No, you dont want Irish twins! I love my kiddos to death, but seriously... I feel like I lost my touch on sanity most of the time, and thats with help from a nanny and a husband who works from home as well. There is another lady who had irish twins on the board and her tag line reads something like "If youve had irish twins and still sane, I want to be friends with you." Yeah.... no longer sane... but good at faking sane! Weekends are rough when I have the two of them alone in the mornings while DH is sleeping in. I feel like Im just performing triage most of the time. They tend to feed off each other. If baby Annabelle is hungry and I feed her, then little dude has a meltdown and wants to be fed (cant hold a bottle himself). If one is tired and cranky, then the other is tired and cranky and its impossible to get both down for a nap at the same time because they wake each other up and cant leave one to put the other down because it will result in total meltdown from the left-alone baby. Put one down, pick the other one up. Put that one down, pick the other one up. Repeat for a few hours until DH is woken up by the screams (kids... or mental screams from me) or finally wakes up or we take a run in the double stroller. It breaks my heart sometimes because I dont like to hear my kiddos cry and not be able to take care of both of them at the same time and it will drag on for hours. The only thing that helps is taking them for a 4-5 mile jog to put them both to sleep and get out of the house and stop the crying.

 

I am terrified to DTD right now because Im scared of an accident.. again.. seriously... Irish triplets... the thought makes me never want to DTD again!

post #9 of 50

AnyaRose - congrats on the job!  I lived in NYC years ago and my husband grew up in NY.  I love it, he does NOT!  When we go up to visit family, we don't even head into the city.  I am planning on going into the city with or without him the next time we are up that way.

 

MotoMom - I remember you switched Hank to the Britax Marathon, right?  I have a typical infant seat and James is hating it.  He screams so hard when we go anywhere and I have to drop off and pick up my older son at school every day.  It's torture.  PLUS, I want to go to visit my parents next week and there is no way I can do that if he is so upset.  I have the Marathon for my older son and was thinking of getting him into a high back booster and passing the Marathon on to James just in case it makes a difference.  Are you happy with the location of the shoulder straps on Hank?  And what about head support? 


To any of our car seat experts - if my oldest is 4 years old but weighs 45 pounds and is 44 inches tall, is he the correct size to use a high back booster with the seat belt now?  I am not clear on whether this is a safe option at his size. 

 

Hyde and Miranda - congrats on having your homes back to yourselves.  ENJOY! 

 

And Hyde, I have to agree with Maman.  I was just telling a friend this morning how I had completely forgotten what having a newborn is all about.  It's like I thought it was going to be easy - DUH!  I did this once before and it certainly isn't easy.  I compeltely forgot about the pain of sleep deprivation and what it's like to have a little being attached to me at all times.  Totally forgot. And even now that I am in it, I can't remember how it felt the first time.  It has to be mother nature's way.

 

Alli - I am so glad yoiu are taking some time off.  The pace of your life is incredible.  And I am impressed that you cook anything at all.  I definitely DO NOT cook.  And I have been eating terribly as a result.  I completely understand where you are coming from about missing out on time with your kids.  I also have to work - and while I earn the family's primary income, DH has to work for the benefits and retirement.  I spend a lot of time feeling like I am good at neither work nor being a parent.  It's a tough thing.  I am going back at 12 weeks and already dreading the imbalanced feeling it gives me.  I feel like I am on a treadmill everyday. 

 

AFM - I am feeling a little trapped in my house.  Because DS becomes so hysterical in the car seat, I only head out for essential trips.  I had grand plans of starting to run again but the car seat goes into the stroller.  So no go there either.  I can walk and wear DS but I really feel the need to run.  Well, in my mind anyway!  With 3 hours of sleep a night, my body may say otherwise.  I need to coordinate with DH but he gets home late and there is so much to do in the evening.  I don't know how I will fit that in.

 

And GRUNTING!  Why oh why do I have such a loud grunter?  He starts at about 11 pm and goes straight through until the morning.  I don't know why?  It's never during the day.  In fact, he is silently asleep right now.  It's just so weird.  I really hope he outgrows this like others have suggested. 

 

And I am the only one dreading Halloween?  DS1 knows about this from his friends but we have never gone trick or treating before.  I just don't love the idea but I guess we'll head out for a bit. I need to steer clear of the candy though redface.gif.

post #10 of 50

Quick post just to update - Hank did awesome! Slept almost the entire way. We only stopped once to change and feed. He does SO good in the Marathon. I bought one of those little cushions that hooks on the straps and makes a U-shape over his head from Target and he seems so comfortable. The shoulder straps are great! Hank is a huge kid, so there might be a difference. I kept laughing because I'd look back at him in his little mirror and I'd see little arms floating up and making funny gestures in his sleep. Sometime's he'd look like he was just about to recite some Shakespeare.

 

Please feel free to laugh and point at me if I end up with Irish twins. At 7 weeks, DH and I got the go-ahead to get busy again and after all of our deliberations on what IUD to use "because we definitely don't want another for a while." Guess who completely forgot to even THINK about using contraceptives!!? No pull out, no nothing. We haven't even thought about contraceptives pretty much since we got married. SO dumb! It didn't even hit me until 20 minutes later! And guess who's baby has been sleeping sometimes eight hours in a row?? Ugh. DH was like, "Oh. I didn't think we had to worry about it right now." I will seriously laugh my ASS off if I'm pregnant again! So cheers to my TWW! 

post #11 of 50

Oh! One thing that really makes a difference with the new carseat is that it comes far enough forward that the back kind of sits between the two front seats, so when he starts to get fussy, I can sort of "rock" it up and down enough to calm him. 

post #12 of 50
We DTD 2 weeks ago and didn't use protection. I had a total OMG moment of wondering if I should go get plan B at the pharm redface.gif So that right there made me realize we are done with 2.

I cook, because we have to, but It's a struggle and I couldn't do without DH's help with the baby. I've also found that doing some prep in the afternoon nap time is helpful.

Any northeasters here? So crazy!
post #13 of 50
Thread Starter 

Traveling... Motomom, Glad you had a good car trip!!! Right now Nico isn't great in the car... but I think he'll be MUCH better on the plane. I'll let you all know how that goes. Ha! 

 

Changing babies... Nico is suddenly getting more fussy. I am hopping that it was just tonight or something I ate, but he was crying for SO long today. And by so long I mean, maybe 3 hours. Certainly still calmer than most babies... but it was really tough for me as a mother who has never heard her babe fuss for more than 15 minutes! I'm glad some of your babies are getting easier though!!!

 

MamanF, I'm excited for you for your photoshoot! They are so much fun... I hope the pictures of the kiddos turn out. (:

 

Food/cooking... I NEVER ate healthy food before I got pregnant (or heck, before I birthed him!), but suddenly I've been so into super natural like nuts, fruits, veggies... basic basic foods. It's weird for me! 10 months ago I TOTALLY would have grabbed the frozen burritos over the salad. But it's swapped without a thought. *shrugs* I rarely cook either... I'm eating lots of raw foods which was another thing I thought was totally pompous before too. hahaha. ohhhhhhh.

 

DTD/Irish twins... THAT'S one thing that could be nice about not being married//not being in a relationship I suppose. To be honest... and don't think I'm absolutely crazy... but I really feel like I could become pregnant again quickly and not be too upset. I wouldn't mind irish twins. That is, IF my man was around... which he's not.... which leads me to my next point.

 

AFM, I can't get Nico's dad out my mind. I know he did something awful. But I also know that it was a very emotional time for us both. I wish to death that I could just be with him for ONE afternoon and talk. I know I've said this a lot on this forum. But it's just pounding me hardcore. 

 

Also, I posted in the babywearing thread...but I'm just so excited about it that I'll talk about it more here. hahaha. I made a mei tai today!!! My first sewing project in basically a decade, so that's saying a lot. It's made out of an old feed sack from the farm I live on. It's soooo cute. haha. (I think I like it waaay more because I MADE it.)

post #14 of 50

Oh! I forgot there even was such a thing as plan B. That just makes me laugh even harder at myself. I just picture in my head going to the pharmacy for Plan B as something I'd be doing during a "walk of shame" after a wild night in college, not as a dead sober, happily married, "responsible" mother.

Oh man, I'm special. 

post #15 of 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jend1002 View Post


To any of our car seat experts - if my oldest is 4 years old but weighs 45 pounds and is 44 inches tall, is he the correct size to use a high back booster with the seat belt now?  I am not clear on whether this is a safe option at his size. 

depending on where you live he is probably technically ok in terms of height and weight, but the real milepost is if he is physiologically ready- there are some markers for this, like can they sit still and not wiggle around, not slouching, are they prone to falling asleep in the car etc. I saw someone somewhere write that a good "tip" for a kid in a booster is to pre-crash lock the seat belt (like how you install a car seat with a seat belt- pull it all the way out until it ratchets back in and won't let you pull any slack out) this is NOT safe and not how a booster should be used, and if you have to resort to that to keep your kid in his seat, he's not ready for a booster.


basically the best practice is to keep kids in their current step until they have outgrown it- so babies should stay rear facing until they outgrow their seat, hopefully that will be after they are at least 2.
and for big kids, keep them harnessed as long as you can. I have my "big" kid in a graco nautilus in my mom's car- it is harnessed now but when he gets bigger it can be a booster too so it is a pretty good value. plus it is pretty comfy and he really likes the cup holder and toy stash inside one of the arm rests!

this is a good page from Britax: http://www.britaxusa.com/learning-center/car-seats-101/booster-seat-basics and it has a link to see the state laws.
post #16 of 50
Madi- the Graco Nautilus is exactly what I will get! I really wanted to stay with the 5 pt harness. Thanks for the considerations - DS does like to sleep in the car...unlike DS 2!! Now I just have to try the Marathon for DS2. He's definitely over 10 pounds now and pretty long so we'll see. I just don't love a convertible seat for an infant but I also don't love him to be hysterical daily. I wonder if it will help.
post #17 of 50

Anya, feel free not to answer this but is Nico's father supporting him (paying child support)? Have you had any contact in the past 9 months? Is he at all interested in meeting Nico?

post #18 of 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by MamanFrancaise View Post
I do NOT want to have Irish twins.

It's really not that bad IMO ,though I know everyone is different and babies sure are!!.. There are moments but overall I have been managing reasonably well... I read everyone else's posts about all they are doing and get a little jealous that I just can't get out and about though.. I had a TON of help early on though so that probably helped.. I have been feeling sooooo guilty about how negative I was during my pg... I was so mad through out it and David is such a lovey baby... He is a challenge for sure but soooo sweet and so darn cute, I can't believe I dreaded it for so long... Of course, all this being said, I would definitely prefer to not have Irish triplets but maybe everyone should check the Sept 13 DDC in a few months just in case redface.gif sooo jk!

 

ANya - I think that is totally normal for you to feel that way about Nico's dad, but I just want you to tread carefully... It doesn't sound like he treated you or Nico very well and that is inexcusable regardless of what else is going on his life, IMO.

 

DTD - I am still spotting a little so nothing has gone on... DH and I have made out like once but we have been sick for the past week or so, so nothing super steamy going on over here... It's crazy after DS1 We couldn't wait to get back to regular sex and once it felt normal for me we were at it all the time (hence the Irish twins...) but now i'm just like eh... maybe it's cause I have to pick up after him like I'm his mom.... Oh! I could play that card I bet!

 

Cooking - I have done a little here and there we have eaten almost all of our freezer food and since I am trying to do an elimination diet I pretty much have to cook... Luckily I have a nice freezer stock of freshly butchered chickens to cook!

post #19 of 50

Carseats: i'm part of the school of thought that says keep them in a 5 pt as long as possible.  My now 5.5yr old was RF until 4 (he's not a big kid either) in his Britax Blvd, and he'll be getting another convertible, from 5pt. to booster in December when his current seat expires.  We've talked about how racecar drivers and astronaughts have 5pt harnesses, it isn't just for 'babies'. (i want to nix that NOW and not if/when someone asks about why he's still in a carseat when he's like 7. (and I can almost guarantee he will be.
Little T is in a bucket seat cause it's from my sister and it was free.  I think I'll keep him in it until he grows out of it so I can get as much mileage out of his convertible that I can.  

My oldest was in his convertible as soon as he fit, which was a few months old.  (he just wasn't long enough) Since we dont' take carseats out of the car, it worked just fine.

 

 

AF: no sign of it here, thank G!  Last time it didn't come back for 2 years PP.  

 

DTD: yeah, hasn't happened around here, I still have twinges and things don't feel quite normal yet so I'm fine with that.

 

Cooking: I do a few things, but DH is mostly in charge of cooking.  I bake and do breakfast stuff.  I do make sure we have veggies in the house, even if it's just a few raw broccoli florets on your plate.  :)

 

 

my baby: is doing great.  I don't know how much he weighs, but i'll find out at our next and last MW appt.  I'm SURE he's at least 10lbs if not more.  We're into our small diapers and 0-3clothes.  He's got great head control and his eyes are still blue/grey.  I caught some smiles on my camera the other day, dimple and all.  AWWWwww.  Sleeping, he's a good sleeper. So as long as I go to bed at a reasonable time we're all good.  DS1 is doing fine.  He LOVES LOVES LOVES his brother and being a big brother.  The only challenging time is at night when he's asleep and used to mom's undivided attention.  I sometimes feel like i'm shorting him on attention during the day.  Something I work on and struggle with daily.

post #20 of 50
I bought breastmilk storage bags today and the grocery store printed out a coupon for me- I got home and looked at it, it is for infant formula! seriously? if I fed formula I might not be buying milk bags..
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: September 2012 Due Date Club
Mothering › Groups › September 2012 Due Date Club › Discussions › Weekly chat: Oct 29-Nov 4