Weekly chat: Oct 29-Nov 4 - Page 2 « Back to Group Discussions

[nukuspot]

I just wanted to say that I haven't been on here much because while I live in the PNW, I am from Lavallette, NJ, one of the towns hit hardest by the storm.  My mom is here staying until they open her town again, but we don't know when it will be livable.  Her house seems to have done OK but my father's house had the ocean come through the first floor.  The whole area I grew up in is destroyed, it's crazy.  It's all I'm focusing on right now.

Luckily the kids have been doing well being neglected, baby smiled at a mobile laying in the pack n play next to me for 2 hours the other day while I looked online at photos of storm damage.  Crazy.

[WindyCityMom]

Hey hey hey everyone! :)

If I ended up with irish twins I think I'd run away.  Not really, but I'm already looking at the teenage years from hell with three girls 2 years apart.  

Question.. has anyone gotten AF back?  I'm 6 weeks postpartum and started back at work about a week ago- that day I went about 7 hours with no pumping/nursing because I just wasn't in the mood to do so and I have a huge oversupply (that wasn't impacted at all.. sigh) anyways.  Today I'm super super super crampy.. I really feel like I'm getting my period.  Oh, and I have a huge zit on my chin.  I've been thinking about checking my cervix but um.. A baby came out of there and I'm kind of too freaked out to go searching around in there, lmao.  

I'm so happy Nova is a good baby.  I mean, no such thing as a bad baby, but she's super tolerant of the change in routine and me going back to work.  I have no clue how often she wakes up at night because cosleeping works so well for us.  She does have a case of sudden eczema on her face, but I suspect it's from our neighbor using this new fabric softener that gunks up the machine.  I just need to do a plain vinegar wash before I do a load of her (or my) clothes, I guess.

Well, gotta go to bed, I have to work in the morning.

[WindyCityMom]

Originally Posted by nukuspot 
Her house seems to have done OK but my father's house had the ocean come through the first floor.  The whole area I grew up in is destroyed, it's crazy.  It's all I'm focusing on right now.

 Love & light to you and your loved ones on the east coast.

[Princessjules]

Originally Posted by MadiMamacita 

I bought breastmilk storage bags today and the grocery store printed out a coupon for me- I got home and looked at it, it is for infant formula! seriously? if I fed formula I might not be buying milk bags..

I really hate how much they push formula... I remember in early September I got my can of infant formula for "breastfeeding support"... rrrrright...

Originally Posted by WindyCityMom 

Hey hey hey everyone! :)

If I ended up with irish twins I think I'd run away.  Not really, but I'm already looking at the teenage years from hell with three girls 2 years apart.  

OMG... 3 teenage girls... I can't even imagine... I am dreading the teenage years with 2 boys but mainly because teenage boys eat. so. much. My parents spend a mortgage payment on groceries with  teenage boys (and they still have the littles coming up too) so I am dreading that...

[hyde]

nuku, I'm so sorry.. I'm glad your parents are okay but those losses are awful. It must be surreal to see your hometown like this. :(

WCM, I either got my period or had a sixth-week bleed this week, not sure which until next month.

Jen, I might be crazy, but I would take the newborn phase over late (or early!) pregnancy in a heartbeat. Hey, is your grunter also really driven by his reflexes? Mine frequently goes NUTS when she has her stomach against my stomach or chest, grunting and trying to climb me, even if I don't let her feet touch anything. It's really something to see how powerful that force is, totally beyond her control.. I've wondered if other mothers of grunty babes observe the same, or if all of them are like that.

Miranda, the snowman idea cracked. me. up. Can't wait to see chicken pictures!

Cloth diapers/crunch quotient- I'm coming to the conclusion that we're going to do both cloth and disposables. Crunch fail. ;) The balance may change as she gets bigger/I get better with cloth, but right now what seems to work for us is cloth when hanging out at home during the day and disposables overnight and for going out. Cloth wipes all the time. And.. I think I hate traditional prefolds. So much bulk. The GMD Workhorse fitteds are our current winners. I'm not inclined to invest more time/money exploring all the possible cloth options, so it kind of begins and ends with the basic dipe/PUL or wool cover here. Not sure whether to sell off some of the regular diapers or just add more fitteds to the stash.. Guessing 'add' is the best option in case I do warm to them; can always sell the others later.

DTD- Scared to. But ordering lube today..

Irish twins/spacing- If I do have another, ideally I'd like R. to be 4ish. Because I'm lazy, but also because I really like the idea of having a lot of one-on-one time with her. The problem is, I've said I either want one or three (I'm one of three, and two has just never felt right for me, though I know it's perfect for lots of people), and I'm a stone's throw from 30 already.. Only time will tell, I guess!

AFM, R. is "talking" up a storm, smilier all the time (especially with her papi, she's totally a daddy's girl already), and like others, having longer/more frequent periods of alert time where she'll interact or just quietly observe. Lots of fun. I can't wait for the little goofball to come out. (Hands-down winner of Halloween this year was the 3y/o lion who roared at me and dissolved into giggles when I got "scared".. aww.) Here is the best of the bad pictures from our Halloween (I've been leaving pics up for a week or so and then removing because I don't want them out there forever--did we ever figure our whether Mothering has private groups that are really private?):

(The costume is glow-in-the-dark, so nursing her at night was a hoot.)

[Princessjules]

Originally Posted by hyde 

Cloth diapers/crunch quotient- I'm coming to the conclusion that we're going to do both cloth and disposables. Crunch fail. ;) The balance may change as she gets bigger/I get better with cloth, but right now what seems to work for us is cloth when hanging out at home during the day and disposables overnight and for going out. Cloth wipes all the time. And.. I think I hate traditional prefolds. So much bulk. The GMD Workhorse fitteds are our current winners. I'm not inclined to invest more time/money exploring all the possible cloth options, so it kind of begins and ends with the basic dipe/PUL or wool cover here. Not sure whether to sell off some of the regular diapers or just add more fitteds to the stash.. Guessing 'add' is the best option in case I do warm to them; can always sell the others later.

We do clothe at home and sposies at night and out of the house...IMO using clothe even part of the time is huge help to the budget and the earth... If that is what works for you then don't feel bad about it!

[MadiMamacita]

Nuku : I was listeningv to Npr last night and they were talking about the storm damage in Nj and nyc. It was heartbreaking and I don't even have any personal ties there. I cant imagine. So sorry.

Hyde: on spacing my older D's was 3.5 when jude was born and it was so great. He is really helpful with the baby and able to do stuff like get his clothes and shoes on, brush his teeth, etc. It has been great.

[MadiMamacita]

Oh hyde one more thing I know you are not a facebooker but our page there is private fwiw

[MotoMom]

I couldn't imagine my hometown devastated by a hurricane - mostly because it's landlocked (yeah haha, I'm so hilarious, right?) - I would be so devastated. I come from a family of builders and a home means a lot to me. The one my parents have now was built by my dad, brother and I when I was sixteen and is really, really special to all of us.

CD- I've actually started doing disposables at night, too! I still do cloth during the day, but disposables at night is really convenient for us. 

The weirdest thing! Hank does this awful, hysterical cry at night sometimes when he wakes up not long after I put him to sleep for the night. Usually around 11 or so, he wakes and does about two little fussy noises before busting out into absolute hysterics! Any other time he cries, it's usually a pretty calm, controlled, "Yo, Mom! Mom! Hey, mom! I'm hungry! Feed me! Mom! My tummy hurts! Burp me! I'm tired! Rock me to sleep now!" This cry he does is like, "Oh, GOD NOOOOOO!!! IT'S THE END OF THE WORRRRRRRLDD!! WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME ANYMORE!!??" Ugh. It totally breaks my heart and I don't know why it happens. Normally during naps and stuff or any other time during the night, he doesn't even cry when he wakes up - just fusses a little. This is totally bizarre. Like last night, I was downstairs and I hear him wake up on the monitor, so I hit the video button to look at him and I could just tell by his face that he was about to flip out. I ran as fast as I possibly could up the stairs and still couldn't get to him in time! Do babies have bad dreams at this age? And why would it happen so often at around the same time at night?

[Jend1002]

Hyde- YES!! My grunter tries to climb me like crazy, grunting and forcing his way up. I never even thought of it as instinct- what is driving that? I am so interested in hearing more about the cause of the grunting. What are your thoughts on that?

Nuku- I grew up at the south Jersey shore. We haven't had a summer home there in many years but I even went to college there. I am fairly certain that the last house I lived in was damaged by the storm but I don't have that family aspect to the loss at all. I am sad that places I love will never be the same. How devastating for you to have such a personal loss. I have many friends there and the stories have been awful to hear. I'm thinking of you and your friends and family.

[AnyaRose]

Originally Posted by MamanFrancaise 

Anya, feel free not to answer this but is Nico's father supporting him (paying child support)? Have you had any contact in the past 9 months? Is he at all interested in meeting Nico?

He is actually. We stopped talking about 3 months ago when he just told me he couldn't handle everything because things were "complicated" and it hurt talking to me. He still sends some financial aid though... I texted him a picture of Nico the moment he was born, so he knows he's alive and well. 

Honestly, I have no idea where he is on the matter. I just wish we could talk and figure it out. 

Nuku, I've been reading your fb post about this... I'm so sorry to hear this storm has been so personal for you. 

Cloth/Sposies, I haven't even started cloth yet... bah. SO many people donated to me a bunch of sposies, so I am working my way through them. I figure I might as well use them, I mean they will be trashed with or without poop in them, right? I'm pretty excited for Nico to get into the soft cloth though. 

Motomom, That's hilarious the dialoge you wrote. I often think of what Nico would say if he could talk too. haha. And btw, I am pretty dern sure babies dream. It seems pretty evident to me by how Nico acts when asleep. 

[teegan db]

CD: I started with prefolds because they're the cheapest, and I thought that if I hated them, at least I won't have wasted too much (gift card!) money. 
It turns out? I think they're great. They're simple. They ARE inexpensive. There are no crazy materials in them. I knit some wool covers and longies, and someone gave us two econobum covers, and we're set. I don't think they're too bulky (at least not at this point...?), and he hasn't soaked through them to the point that we've has accidents (they do get pretty soaked at times, but the econombum covers keep his pants/onesies dry). We do have six green mountain workhorse diapers that are great, and I do have larger ones on our baby-registry-turned-wish-list, but I can't argue with the frugality of prefolds.
 

On top of that, my great aunt just gave us $50 for cottonbabies.com, which means that I can pretty much afford to stock up on regular & premium sized prefolds - whooo!

Doing well here (at the moment). It's funny how quickly it changes, though. There are plenty of moments, plenty of hours, when he is inconsolable unless he's on the breast, when I am tired of holding him, when I'm convinced that Something Is Wrong and I am a Terrible Mother But there are just as many - okay, more - when he is alert and adorable, or sleeping like a dream. There are nights like last night when we get a good 5-6 hour stretch of rest! There's the midwife telling me that is 10 lbs today and Perfect. 

All of you who are 2nd (and 3rd and 4th and 5th!) time mamas, does it ever change? Or so you still spend all day going back and forth between feeling awesomely competent and a wretched mess? Most mothers I hear talk about being one or the other - all whole grain pancakes and snuggles and kumbayah or tears and dirty floors and tangled hair and junk food. I like to hope I'll spend more and more time in the former and less in the latter, but I also know that you can't predict what your children will be/do, and I'm just starting out...

[Monkey Keeper]

Originally Posted by teegan db 

All of you who are 2nd (and 3rd and 4th and 5th!) time mamas, does it ever change? Or so you still spend all day going back and forth between feeling awesomely competent and a wretched mess? Most mothers I hear talk about being one or the other - all whole grain pancakes and snuggles and kumbayah or tears and dirty floors and tangled hair and junk food. I like to hope I'll spend more and more time in the former and less in the latter, but I also know that you can't predict what your children will be/do, and I'm just starting out...

The days, for me, are a mix of all of it all the time. Right now, I'm more concerned about screwing up the big girls for good ;)  Seriously, though, I go through a weird hormonal phase after each kid where instead of depression, I am angry and short fused and impatient. I hate it, and I try to control it, but I'm in the thick of it right now. So sometimes it's whole grain pancakes and snuggles. But sometimes it's breakfast cereal and mommy temper tantrums. We just have to do our best in the moment.  Sometimes our best in that moment is Wretched Mess!

[Carlin]

Nuku - so sorry about all the damage. I hope your family, and the whole area, recover quickly!

Teegan - Monkeykeeper said it better than I can. If it helps, I feel much more competent with the baby this time. It's my older one I feel like I'm failing way too often. (ie. She's in her highchair watching Dora and eating halloween candy as I type this.)

Cloth - we use fitteds 100% of the time and I love them but I think everyone should do what works best for them. Don't feel any guilt for using sposies if that's what you need to do. None of us are perfect, and if using sposies instead of cloth at night lets you all get a decent night sleep, just do what you need to do.

Hyde - I agree with you on the spacing. DD 1 is 3 years, 3 months older than DD 2 and honestly it's been challenging enough. I can't imagine having done the newborn thing when she was younger. Of course part of that is her personality and it's possible I'll feel different when Ember is 2ish, but I suspect not. I have a great deal of respect for Moms who deal gracefully with more than 1 baby/young toddler at a time, but frankly I'm not one of them. I get too overwhelmed too easily. That's one of the main reasons why we are probably done with 2. To wait another 3 years, I'd be 36 and DH would be 45, and I think both of us will be ready to move on to the next stage of our lives by then.

AFM - Ember is asleep, wrapped on my back right now. :D I just started back wrapping her yesterday, and while my technique still needs some work, it's going to be very useful to be able to put her up there, especially when DH goes out of town on Sunday for 4 days.

Anyone else totally can't believe their babies are almost 6 weeks old. Where has the time gone??

Other stuff - I just found out a single, childless friend of mine is adopting newborn, preemie, twin boys. As far as I know, this came out of nowhere, and she had about 2 days notice. I'm thrilled for her, but can't imagine doing twins as a single, first time mom. I know she'll be awesome, but wow, talk about life changing. Any of you moms of multiples have any advice as to what help you needed the most? (keeping in mind I'd have a 3 year old and 6 week old in tow, so my helpfulness will be somewhat limited.)

[WindyCityMom]

Quick pumping question. including commute I had a 10 hour workday. dd took 7.5oz. This is the same as what she took during my last 10 hour day. While at work I pumped 18oz and could have done more but I ran out of bottles. I'm pumping more than double what she takes. I figure its great for my freezer stash, but could I making my over supply worse? Should I slow down with the pumping, or should I just be grateful for my overabundance?

[Monkey Keeper]

I'd stick with what you are doing for now. After all, a lot of babies take less away from mom than they do when with her. Plus, our supplies have not fully regulated yet. So I'd pump on a set schedule like you are and freeze the surplus for a rainy day. Now, if at 6 months you're still pumping 2x what she takes, I might rethink! ;)

nuku--Thinking of you and yours and the devastation and rebuilding everyone is facing. How heartbreaking it must be.

[MamanFrancaise]

Originally Posted by Teena db 

All of you who are 2nd (and 3rd and 4th and 5th!) time mamas, does it ever change? Or so you still spend all day going back and forth between feeling awesomely competent and a wretched mess? Most mothers I hear talk about being one or the other - all whole grain pancakes and snuggles and kumbayah or tears and dirty floors and tangled hair and junk food. I like to hope I'll spend more and more time in the former and less in the latter, but I also know that you can't predict what your children will be/do, and I'm just starting out...

You know, I think it really depends on the temperament of your kids. With my first two kids 3 yrs 9 months apart, it was harder. My house was a mess and we ate a lot of mac and cheese. After the first year or so it got better but I still struggled and was it was never kumbayah. 

Now, I have an 11 year old, 7 year old and a 7 week old. I am finding it SUPER easy. My house is spotless, my kids are well taken care of, baby is a dream... I really have no complaints. But I also have an extremely supportive husband and (occasionally) helpful children. Plus, my kids are in school all day so it's just me and the baby most of the time.

But to answer your question, yes it changes and gets better and easier. In 5 years you will even look back fondly at this time. :)

[MadiMamacita]

Originally Posted by AnyaRose 


Cloth/Sposies, I haven't even started cloth yet... bah. SO many people donated to me a bunch of sposies, so I am working my way through them. I figure I might as well use them, I mean they will be trashed with or without poop in them, right? I'm pretty excited for Nico to get into the soft cloth though. 

you could always donate to a diaper bank or pregnancy resource center. nice that you got them as gifts! that saves a ton of money!

[MadiMamacita]

oh man my midwife just emailed me this link to a job opening at wic b/c it is for a bilingual candidate:

"The WIC Breastfeeding Peer Counselor is a paraprofessional support person who gives breastfeeding information and encouragement to WIC pregnant and breastfeeding mothers. Duties include but are not limited to, providing breastfeeding counseling for pregnant and breastfeeding mothers to help prevent and handle common breastfeeding concerns; keeping accurate records of all contacts made with WIC participants; referring mothers according to clinic-established protocols; and attending and assisting with pre-natal classes and breastfeeding support groups. May assist the Breastfeeding Peer Counseling Coordinator in various breastfeeding promotions and support activities within the community including outreach with mother infant programs, physician offices, hospitals and local coalitions. Performs other duties as required. "

it is part time and on call. i am super tempted to apply!

[MIrandaM]

DS and DH just walked out the door with the dog to walk in the forest for 1.5h . . . DH's first time taking the baby in the car on his own or in the Ergo on his own, and the dog's super wound up because I haven't been walking her since I hurt my ankle. He's taken him to the forest with me before, and with his parents, and in the baby bjorn, so it's not like it's the very first outing or something but I have to admit that I have a bit of a knot in my stomach! I know I shouldn't because he's the baby's dad for goodness sake, but aghghghg.  I think it will be good for them to have some time alone together though.  kdsjfdkj the knot remains.

In the meantime, I desperately need to sort through my closet - it's maternity + regular clothes + summer + winter --- mayhem and none of it fits or works for nursing! I need to return borrowed maternity clothes to two people etc.  And the baby has outgrown all of his NB and 0-3, so I need to get those out of his dresser and get the next size stuff from the basement. 

After a full 36 hours of needing me nonstop and being so, so, so fussy, light or skipped naps etc, baby slept for a three hour stretch and then a four hour stretch last night!!! Hurray!

Side note: my foot seems to be getting worse, anyone had this experience with a twisted ankle? 1-4 days of improvement in mobility and pain, bruising fading etc then 3 days of increased pain, even when I'm not walking?! The baby wasn't waking me up last night but my foot was. I should just go to the doctor but I don't have a doctor here and it's hard to find one within walking/public transport distance that is taking new clients and speaks English.  I've tried before but given up.  I guess I need to just muster the energy :)

Nuku, I'm so sorry to hear about your family and their homes.  I wish there were something I could do, and if there is, please let me know!