Hello, I'm a newbie to Mothering. I need a sounding board and hopefully some helpful advice.
My 17 1/2 year old son is a major "stoner". I am finding out how little I know about him. What I can tell you is that he has been getting high in my home, alone and with friends. I DO NOT condone this AT ALL!! It seems that all he and his friends talk about is getting stoned, where can they get it, when can they get it, who's older brother can provide it, etc.
My son makes fair grades in school, has never been in trouble with the law, and has no psychological issues to deal with. He has a very good home life with a both bio parents (who have been married 21 years) and has been given a lot of freedom because we've always trusted him (which may have been our downfall). He's respectful to teachers at school, he works part-time at a golf course and he's a very hard worker.
He's also in a rock band. These boys are his comrade in arms, his band of brothers, and unfortunately his smoking buddies. He wants to make a career in music and he IS very talented on drums and guitar.
So, my question is....How do I help my son? Can I help my son? Do I discipline? If so, HOW? I feel like a failure as a mother. I feel like I'm losing my son to a life I don't want him involved in and I'm helpless because he's making a LOT of very wrong decisions for his life. At this age, what are appropriate consequences? Do I just accept the fact that this is the life he's chosen and pray that nothing bad happens?