I don't want to make this too long. My question is how do you deal with a compulsive liar without making them on the defensive? This person lies all the time. And it is about ridiculous stuff. It's bad when it is someone you depend on.
How to deal with a compulsive liar
Just know that they are always lying. Do not engage. My ex is like this. If he needs to rearrange the kids schedule, he always makes up elaborate lies about the reasons. I do not care! If the kids need to be at my house Tuesday, whatever, I don't need to know anything! It's gotten to the point I just cut him off and hang up when he starts storytelling. What is the point of all the lies??? "I need you to watch the kids Tuesday," would be completely sufficient.
Lying is one of my pet peeves. I would have to distance myself from that person. No matter what kind of relationship it is, there are ways to set boundaries so that your decisions, schedule, and well being don't depend on someone. That's how I would deal with someone who lied to me with any kind of frequency at all (like, more than once or twice), even if the lies were about things that didn't really matter. At the very least it's a complete waste of time and energy.
Thanks. This is my SD's BM. My SD lives with her. We only see my SD during the summers, so with have to deal with the BM. For instance this is just the past few weeks. She didn't know how to fix the IPHONE we got my SD. It just needed to be plugged into itunes and update. We sent my SD a computer as well, but her step dad uses it, and is out of town with it, UGH!!! So supposedly she sent the phone priority mail 2 weeks ago. Well, it's still not here. She gave us the tracking number, and she didn't send it till Monday. You should have read all the text of her cussing and complaining on why the phone is not here. IT"S B/C SHE HAD IT!!! Why lie? Why not just say you've been busy and haven't mailed it. Why have us driving around and calling about where a $700 phone is at? So my husband text her a snapshot of the tracking information. She said "Why the h*** did they not send it out till Monday? Well, it's a good thing I got insurance." Are you kidding me? First off, it wasn't accepted till 3:19 p.m. Secondly, that insurance doesn't cover getting her a new phone. It's just driving me crazy. Why lie? It's all the time. She can't tell the truth... She even lies to her daughter about stuff. We can't stand it, but he doesn't want to create a barrier b/w the BM and him b/c that is his outlet to his daughter.