I need your advice on a "sex question"

[Afina]

Hi, dear mums to be. I just joined this forum... I had a miscarriage at 17 weeks in January. Now I am 20 weeks pregnant.. Just because I had that miscarriage, doctors don't recommend me to have sex. But I am felling great, my babyboy is fine too. We had sex only twice within this period. My question is:can I have sex with my husband? Of course, we will be very careful. I can't hold myself anymore:-) All my night dreams are about making love. Ladies, pls advise. I know my body better but don't want to compromise doctor's recommendation. Have you been in this situation?

[Mosaic]

Typically, doctors don't recommend abstaining from intercourse during pregnancy, even with a history of miscarriage. It might be worth asking your doctor again in case there is another reason why they recommend it for you.

[sunshine28]

I would understand that he might want to be cautious during the beginning, but after the initial stage, unless there are other health issues, it's quite strange.
 

[Afina]

that seems strange to me as well. My pregnancy is normal, not at high risk. Just because of my 1st miscarriage, I was put on primolut injections and baby aspirin. When I asked why, she told me that I had miscarried once. No test was done to prove that I needed them. Just to be on the safe side. I live in an Arab world. So I guess, this is the way to deal with a pregnancy. I will follow your advice and next check-up I will ask again. Because i am going crazy without sex.Thanks ladies.

[TIFF4NY]

Was there a determined cause of the miscarriage at 17 weeks that they fear could be repeated this time around? I would definitely talk to them to try and get a more concrete understanding.

[Afina]

I was dehydrated most of the time, I guess. And stressed out. I used to drive more than 300 km to work and back home per day. Frankly speaking, my doctor turned out to be incompetent. When I started having pains and cramps, she did ultrasound and sent me home saying that baby was fine. Within 2 days I had visited 3 different doctors. All of them assured me that I was alright and gave me painkillers since i was in pain most of the time.Then my water brake at night and I was admitted to hospital. My baby was alive and healthy, but doctors decided to give me some medicine that would cause a medical miscarriage because I didn't have much water left already. Now thinking back, I feel that my baby could saved if I had a proper medical care. That's why NOW I doubt everything that I am being advised and prescribed. I run for second opinion to some other clinics.Even my current doctor seems a very good one and caring. I am being paranoic about this, I guess.

[TIFF4NY]

I'm so sorry that happened to you. I really hope you find competent doctors and get the answers you are looking for. 

[babycatcher12]

Originally Posted by Mosaic 

Typically, doctors don't recommend abstaining from intercourse during pregnancy, even with a history of miscarriage. It might be worth asking your doctor again in case there is another reason why they recommend it for you.

This. I had a loss at 14 weeks and at 15 weeks. They have never recommended I abstain from sex during pregnancy. I would imagine it's just "what they do". I'd say go for it. :) 

They are going to be very "traditional" in their approach and perhaps not well studied in current research. I wouldn't accept anything just because they tell you, but make sure you are well educated too. 

[1babysmom]

Add me to the list that thinks the advice given to you is probably unnecessary.  I have had 7 losses and still wasn't told to abstain.  I was just told to use common sense. ;)

[Afina]

Thank you so much. I am sorry for your losses. You are kinda living proof to me:-) .It's amazing how strong you are even after so many pain you''ve had. God bless you and your families.