Queer, Pregnant, and Parenting! November, December, and January 2013!!! - Page 7

[seraf]

Max, I'm totally guessing, but it looks like a head/face on the left and ribs on the right. It's a pretty awesome picture if I'm looking at it right.

Lise, if you're comfortable talking about it, how are you going to get the babies home? Will you live in a hotel until they're all released from the hospital and OKed for travel? How many plane tickets will you need? Will you have a third adult travel with you?

[CascadiaMama]

Planet, I'm now remembering the phase where Alex would wake to nurse at about 4 am, and would only fall back asleep on my chest. I also hated the way I had to hold my arms up, but I stayed in bed (I'd read too many warning against couch sleeping with a babe, thiugh we certainly had our share of well-propped up naps there). I stuffed pillows under each arm to keep my arms at chest level. I probably looked like I was a vampire sleeping in a well-padded coffin, but it was actually quite comfy. You do need enough space for pillows on either side if you though. If you get a bigger bed, and plan to co-sleep for awhile, I'd say skip right to a king! We haven't yet, but our queen is getting way too cozy for the three of us.

And ditto side lying nursing being rough until they get bigger. Those teeny heads just don't line up right at that size!

News in our land--one of Alex's (and Wylie's!) donor siblings has grandparents in Portland, and they drove up from CA for thanksgiving. It was a surprise for us; they texted just a couple days ago. We had dinner tonight, and the boys had a blast chasing each other around. M, their son, is almost two (in a month) and Alex is 15 months. They hadn't seen each other since July, before Alex could walk. It was so much fun to watch them tumble and race and get the hysterical giggles--they get along so well, alternating goofball play with big hugs. And, we found out they're expecting #2! Due in the spring. Planet--they visit PDX every Fourth of July--maybe you guys can meet up with us next summer?

[planet]

Cascadia, what kind of swing did Alex like for his naps?  We put the swing that someone handed down to us in the basement.  Wylie just didn't seem to go for it, and when we got the Rock n Play we just didn't have space for everything in our apartment.  The Rock n Play is nice cuz it's like a deep cradle and keeps him pretty upright, and it rocks (although you have to keep rocking it, which is kinda too bad).  He sometimes will sleep in it and usually realizes we are trying to trick him and wakes up quickly.

Max, congratulations on the awesome connection with the birth family!  That is so spectacular. I'm happy for you guys! :)  We do use white noise from time to time.  Sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn't.

Desert, thank you for your kind words.  The sleep situation is truly frustrating, although not as frustrating as the insomnia...I thought I had finally beat it (again).  I had five nights of being able to sleep in a row, and now I am wide awake at 3am while baby & partner sleep peacefully in the other room.  I feel that I am going through a serious reality check/hormonal shift that is leaving me in quite a state.  I am doing my best to seek support from friends, do self care when I can, and remain present despite the difficulties.  It is hard.  Also, Ever is SO beautiful, and I love her feisty personality.  It sounds like she and Wylie would get along - if only we were closer and could introduce them!  Wylie is pretty chill most of the time, but is fierce when he needs to be.  And he has been making more and more noises, cooing and gurgling and smiling like crazy.  Way to melt my heart!!!

Seraf, I love the photo!  Your household is too fun.  :)  I just decided to cut out/cut down on dairy a few days ago, too.  Wylie was having lots of dramatic, fussy nursing sessions and seemed to be in pain after eating.  Do you know about how long one needs to be off dairy to know if it's made a difference?

PrettyIsa, thank you.  Wylie hates all swaddles - tight, loose, zippered, rolled, velcroed...I'm pretty sure we've tried it all, multiple times.  That's an interesting idea about talking to his ped about tummy sleeping.  I do think he would sleep better that way, but of course the thought of it makes me nervous - but you're right, most of us were put to sleep on our tummies as babies!  And thank you for sharing your experiences with co-sleeping.  Despite my dreams of us all tucked sweetly into bed together, I am starting to think my #1 preference (for now) would be Wylie sleeping right next to us in his Rock n Play (or some other tiny bed to his liking).  Nice and close to us, but with enough space so we don't wake each other up with every movement.

Do any of you know of a good baby swing that swings side to side rather than front to back?  We would like to try that.

Much love to all of you!

[cordelia15]

cascadia.  what a cool visit with the donor siblings. . 

max. . glad the visit went so well and how fun to have the sono pic. . 

planet. . I cut out dairy with DS when he was somewhere between 2-3 months olds and got a new baby. it took about three days for me but I hear it can take well over a week but I cut out EVERYTHING. . even read all labels for casein and whey etc. . but DS cried pretty much every moment he was awake. . and then suddenly it all stopped. . well, okay he still cried normally but not all the time he was not sleeping or eating. .from what I understand if a baby has a dairy issue cutting down usually does not help, you really need to eliminate it all.  But then again, if W's case is not as extreme, maybe cutting down helps and other folks can weigh in.  Either way good luck!!!  also my DS would sleep in a swing but only if I was vacuuming!  Only time my house was really clean!  

AFU.. back to Dr. in 9 more days. . feeling so anxious just want to know all is good in there!!!  

[seraf]

Cascadia, very cool about hanging with his dosie.

Planet, I'm not sure how long I was off dairy before Ari felt better. My ex was lactose intolerant so all our meals were dairy free, I only had dairy with snacks/at work. I'm now sure that I'm allergic to it. I can handle the butter oil in semi-sweet chocolate chips (I haven't been brave enough to try real butter) but anything else makes the boys have bloody poop. I also haven't been brave enough to let Shay have dairy since he ate a cookie with whey and wound up with mucosy diarrhea (can't see blood now that he eats solids). I guess I'm saying that our kids have other signs. Sara is about 4 days into a trial off dairy because Soren has had more blood and my diet has been clean. The hope is that even if we don't notice a difference when she takes a week off of it, we will see a more pronounced reaction when she reintroduces (at thanksgiving) so we will know.

Cordelia, how far along are you now? When did you feel movement with your first?

Over here, poor Soren has a fever.

[planet]

Cascadia, that is really exciting about the donor sibling get together!  I will mention it to my partner; I think it sounds like so much fun!  It's hard to imagine a trip to Portland, but hopefully by then it won't seem so overwhelming.  We would love to meet you guys.  Also, I have totally slept with Wylie in the exact way you described!  It just won't work right now because of the bout of insomnia I am going through.  It's too much pressure for me to not be able to move, and I don't generally sleep comfortably on my back anyways.  DP is more comfy on the couch than the bed, sad for me but it's the only way we can get any sleep around here (except for me of course - 5 am and still awake, even after taking 2 rounds of my natural sleep aid stuff.  Tomorrow I am going to try the another kind that my acupuncturist recommended.  Please cross your fingers for me!!! I'm convinced that insomnia is the deepest depths of hell).

Cordelia, thank you, that is super helpful!  Fussy feedings have already seemed to get better in the last few days.  Hard to say if it's the lack of dairy or just a developmental thing.  We'll see!  I'll be crossing my fingers for good news from the doctor for you.

[carmen358]

planet, have you tried skullcap tincture for your insomnia? I took it while pregnant with my DD because I had terrible insomnia - I was only getting about 2 hours of sleep a night (and this was before she was born!!). My midwife recommended it and it was amazing. I have since suggested it for other friends and the ones that tried it have said they get good results too. A natural herb/vitamin store should be able to make some up for you.

[prettyisa]

Seraf—Ha! I’m glad that Soren can finally defend himself! Edie hasn’t started hitting us yet (though she does have a terrible/terrific death grip, especially on our hair) but she hasn’t had anyone coming at her with paws flying, either. I hope the dairy cut-down is ok for Sara—she did that earlier for a little bit, too, right? That would be so, so hard for me.

Max—Our little girl is 7 months old as of Sunday. She’s a great kid! Easygoing and happy almost all the time, and now that she can sit up her games are getting to be much more fun. I think you left the conceptions board right before I started IVF… Also—the baby u/s is so cute! Head turned towards us, little forehead, eyes, nose, chin, and adorable little ribs! Oh, and a teeny fist! I used to make the ultrasound techs go over everything a million times so I could see it all—in my next life I’ll be a u/s tech and get to look at little babies all day long! I remember how taken I was with the pictures of Edies’ brain. It was a weird thing to find cute, but I was just so amazed that there she was, brain and everything! I’m so glad your meeting went well!

Desert—congrats on the costume contest! She was the cutest Also, when I’m hanging out with other babies the same age as ours it doesn’t bother me when they get feisty—I’m usually just relieved when it’s not mine doing the screaming. She’s so gorgeous! Is her hair growing in the same dark brown, or is it lightening up? It’d be awesome if it stayed so dark!

Cascadia—fun about the donor-sibling meetup! DP is unsure how she feels about donor sibs, so we’re keeping the one family that’s reached out to us a little at a distance until she sorts out her feelings more, but I’m relieved to hear other peoples’ stories of good interactions!

Planet—this swing: http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=4360510. you can turn it sideways, and it plugs into the wall. We ended up not getting one because our kid wasn’t a huge swing fan, but my cousin had it and it’s the best one out there, by far.

Here’s one of Edie’s 7 month pics! Our computer has been acting up, so I haven’t got more to post, but I’m going to work on it over the weekend, hopefully!

[Cananny]

I second that swing planet... Our last foster baby screamed for 9-10 hrs a day and this was what calmed her!!! We now have two for our triplets ... Don't have space for three of anything so we will rotate:)

[cordelia15]

seraf. . I am still pretty early about 10.5 weeks.  I didn't feel movements with my first until about 24 weeks I think, so not so early.  And hope soren feels better soon.  

planet. . glad feedings are already better.  For me too, i could never swear it was the dairy or just developmental stage but it was such a blessed blessed relief I was so scared to go back.  I was off it for about 6 months  

isa.  great pic of edie!! 

canannny. . def a good idea to rotate swings!  I don't even think we could fit two! 

carmen. . I am keeping note of skullcap tincture for later!! 

[lea2012]

Thanks for the warm welcomes. I'm so sad to share the news that I've had a miscarriage. I look forward to learning more about the experiences of folks on this list as my partner and I go through our grieving process and move forward.

[seraf]

Lea, I'm sorry about your loss.

[prettyisa]

Oh, Lea. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Be gentle with yourselves.

[Cananny]

Lea so sorry to hear of your loss...

I wanted to thank everyone for the encouragement and advice as I make this transition to a SAHM .. Luckily I do have a great network of friends who are like family ...

I officially stop my older kids I nanny for part time ( been with them 3.5 yrs as full time then this yr part time ) in two weeks
I have to give notice Monday to the new family... Didn't want to ruin their thanksgiving since the entire family is in town...
It's hard to think about not working!

[cordelia15]

Lea, so sorry for your loss, def give yourselves the space and time to feel everything you need to feel and I do hope we will see you back here soon.  I don't even know if you want words of encouragement yet, I am sure you are still processing so forgive if this is wrong but both my good friend and SIL got pregnant right after their losses and carried healthy babies to term!  I def don't mean this takes away from the pain of this though.  Hugs. 

[pokeyAC]

lea - I'm so sorry for your loss.  Lots of us have been there and we are here if you want to talk. Take good care of yourselves. 

[nosreves]

Lea -- i'm so sorry.  i hope you and your DP can heal from this loss and come back to join us soon.

[nosreves]

hi everyone.  for those of you who aren't on FB, i just got back home a few hours ago after spending the last two nights at our maternity hospital.  i woke up Monday and when i went to the bathroom and wiped, there was blood and a clot-like thing.  having not seen blood for nearly nine months, i got worried and had DP call the ER.  they said as long as i wasn't having contractions, it wasn't a big deal, so i told DP to go ahead and go to work.  i then talked to several friends online who said that i absolutely *should* go to the hospital, and soon after DP called to say she was coming back home because she thought we should go in.  once we got there and they hooked me up to all the monitors, we found out that i was indeed having contractions that were a minute and a half apart.  i guess that explains all the terrible back pain i'd been having for the last 5 days or so.  for some reason, i thought the tight feeling in my belly was the baby pressing outward really hard.  (yeah, i feel like a total idiot now.)  i had all kinds of monitoring done and my BP was high again, but as soon as they had me lie on my left side, it went down to normal.  my cervix seemed like it was rapidly dilating and effacing, and the midwives said the little boy was going to be born that night or the next day at the latest.   we were surprised, to say the least, but also excited.  DP was freaking out because we hadn't packed a bag yet, so she came home and threw way too much stuff together and came back.   in the meantime, i started having really strong painful contractions.   they put us in the one pre-delivery room that has a huge tub, so (of course) the contractions stopped and then my cervix yawned and decided she'd done enough for the day.  they then moved me up to one of the wards and told me they were keeping me for observation (and lots of monitoring.)  they kept me a second night to rule out a placental abruption.  it was not a very fun experience, but the midwives and nurses were absolutely lovely, and i felt like we were in very good hands.  

anyway, now i know what contractions feel like .  i'm still getting them if i sit, walk or stand for too long, but i'm still hoping that i can hold off on meeting our little sprout until at least next Wednesday  (when i'll be at exactly 37 weeks).   the midwife said he might even wait until his due.  he's already proving to have a mind of his own, so i won't even try to guess at this point.  

i'm sooo happy to be home, though.

[maxK]

Lea- I am sorry for your loss. It's a tragedy.

[maxK]

NosReves- I am glad to hear your little scare turned out ok. Let's keep the little sprout in there just a bit longer!