Queer, Pregnant, and Parenting! November, December, and January 2013!!! - Page 8

[onemommyonemama]

Lea - I am so very sorry.

Nos - What an adventure - I hope you are able to rest and sleep with all that activity. It is so achy those last days (and weeks?). Thinking of you - take care. We can't wait to meet your little one - when he is good and ready ! :)

[planet]

Lea, I am so sorry for your loss.  Sending warmth and strength your way. xoxo

Nosreves, you have really been through it!!!  What an experience.  I am so glad you got to go home.  I am thinking of you.  Keep us posted!  So exciting that your tiny sweet one will be here soon!  Hang in there. xoxo

[planet]

Seraf, I hope Soren is feeling better!  Thank you for sharing your experiences with the dairy.  You are always so helpful, I appreciate it!!!  I guess dairy intolerance is pretty common for babies then?  Sounds like going off dairy is something many of us have or are experimenting with!

Carmen, thank you for the suggestion of skullcap.  I will definitely keep it in mind if I need to try more things (but I hope I won't need to!!!). 

Isa, thank you for the recommendation of the swing.  I will see if I can find one on craigslist. 

Cananny, good luck on Monday giving your notice.  I know it is a hard thing for you!  I'm sure they will be so excited for you and will understand.  Will be thinking of you!

Right now I am really happy because I have had two excellent nights of sleep in a row!  I've started taking this stuff called Kavinace that my ND and acupuncturist both recommended.  It is expensive but so far it has been amazing!  I don't want to get TOO excited, since it has only been two days, but I am definitely feeling more hopeful (and rested).  Right now we have just been doing what's easiest for Wylie so we can focus on me breaking through the insomnia.  Once I have had a week of no insomnia, we are going to start trying to get Wylie to sleep next to us in bed again. We need to strategize and decide what we are to try (Rock n Play next to bed?  Propped up on his side with pillows?  On his back next to my partner?  , but we want to pick one method and stick with it for at least a week.  We are going to be SO tired for that week.  I'll keep y'all posted.  Thanks for the support!!!!  In other news, Wylie is currently fast asleep in the Rock n Play and has been for 23 whole minutes!  :-) Love to all of you, and happy Thanksgiving for those of you who observe. xoxo

[seraf]

Originally Posted by prettyisa 

Seraf—Ha! I’m glad that Soren can finally defend himself! Edie hasn’t started hitting us yet (though she does have a terrible/terrific death grip, especially on our hair) but she hasn’t had anyone coming at her with paws flying, either. I hope the dairy cut-down is ok for Sara—she did that earlier for a little bit, too, right? That would be so, so hard for me.

Soren smacks a lot. He mostly does it to splash in the bath. Shay was really into the same arm motion when Soren was born, so I figured it was the age. Interesting that Edie doesn't.

Sara went off dairy once, before I went off wheat. Since he is still having issues, she decided to try that one again. He has been sick, so we can't tell much. She reintroduced dairy and he had more blood, so she is going off it again for at least another week to see if it is coincidence.

Originally Posted by cordelia15 

seraf. . I am still pretty early about 10.5 weeks.  I didn't feel movements with my first until about 24 weeks I think, so not so early.  And hope soren feels better soon.  

Thanks. He is totally thrown off and not feeling great. It's interesting how we all feel movement at different times.

Originally Posted by Cananny 

I have to give notice Monday to the new family... Didn't want to ruin their thanksgiving since the entire family is in town...
It's hard to think about not working!

Wow, good luck.

Originally Posted by nosreves 

i'm sooo happy to be home, though.

Yay for home! How are you feeling? Still contracting?

Originally Posted by planet 

Seraf, I hope Soren is feeling better!  Thank you for sharing your experiences with the dairy.  You are always so helpful, I appreciate it!!!  I guess dairy intolerance is pretty common for babies then?  Sounds like going off dairy is something many of us have or are experimenting with!

I think dairy doesn't agree with a lot of people, but because we stay on it all the time we don't notice. I have heard that most people don't produce lactase after age 5, it kind of makes sense to me that we didn't evolve to eat dairy like we do (the same can be said about a lot of what we eat, really). I think little problems beat starvation, so our ancestors ate it, but we have the luxury of plentiful food to be able to notice little things that don't sit quite right. I hope he sleeps better soon!

Thanksgiving leftover picture.

Edited by seraf - 11/23/12 at 2:30pm

[mami2mami]

Hello ladies,

No time for personals..but here are some pics of Layla's 1st birthday

[mami2mami]

Here are some pics of Layla's bday parties.

We will back for personals soon!

[prettyisa]

Mami--she's so beautiful in that dress! I hope the parties were fun!

Planet--glad you're getting some rest! And I think a weeklong trial is a good idea, though I don't envy you the lack of sleep it'll take to get through it.

Cananny--how did it go? I hope they're understanding. But honestly, they have kids--they must be able to realize what triplets would be like and have some empathy, I hope!

Nos--so scary! How are you feeling now? I hope your little sprout is safe and sound and staying put for a while!

Seraf--she does that slapping motion, but usually only on water, or with something in her hand to bang. She doesn't tend to hit us--more grabbing. Grabbing our noses, lips, whatever she can get. I also try to discourage the smacking or hard grabbing, since it hurts, and she either understands what I'm saying or is easily distracted. I have no idea which, but since she stops, I don't care too much.

[Cananny]

Mami.. Layla is beautiful.. Happy 1st birthday.. Hard to believe she is a year old....

 Planet.. I hope the sleeping is getting better for you .. and good luck with Wylie sleeping as well~  We love the rock and play!

So I told ,the bosses... it went well.. I was a bit emotional.. but they were very sweet and understanding.. and were not mad... PHEW.. I am soooo glad that is over with

Had our 20 week Anantomy scan and def still having 3 boys...

The scan showed Baby B has only one vessel in his umbilical cord instead of two. the radiologist said it raises his chances slightly for heart problems.. but the perinatologist will go over the test and talk to us.. My apt is not until Friday.. Yeah try not to stress... right!!! So i just hope and pray he is ok.. His heart has all working chambers and she saw no issues.. and said its common esp with multiples..

I spent most of the past holiday weekend laying in bed.. it is getting very hard to do much these days! I get really tired and winded easily.. the boys are starting to move around a bit more now... We are 21 weeks.. time is moving along here~

[seraf]

Mami, before seeing your pictures I didn't realize how close Layla and Elmo's song are. Layla la Layla Layla la Layla, Elmo's world. Kidding, mostly. She's super cute. That dress is great.

Isa, Soren doesn't smack at us, but if Shay's right in his face smacking, it comforts me to know that Soren can smack back.

Ca, I'm glad giving notice went well. I've known a few kids who were born short an umbilical artery and are just fine. Good luck not worrying.

Soren was sick and cranky on our trip. Now he is all better.

[esenbee2]

Here's a question for everyone.  Has anyone noticed a drastic change in ability to remember things or their ability to stay on top of things since the birth of their LO?  I have found that I forget EVERYTHING now and DSp is just so frustrated with me and always has to get on me about getting things done.  I just feel so disheveled inside ALL the time!

[seraf]

Essnbee, it's totally normal. I think they call it milk brain. I have to write down anything I want to remember. I asked a friend if it goes away before the kids move out, she said its close, but then menopause is right on its heels. Lol. If you figure out how to get things done, let me know. I feel like the first few months are the worst but I never got my full memory back. I bet the more academic mamas will have better ideas.

[esenbee2]

I have been waiting 4 years for it to come back....  Never has.  Maybe I forgot where I put my memory....

[pokeyAC]

For those of you in California, I heard that this bill was recently signed by the Governor.  I'm not totally sure what it will do, but it sounds like progress.  It sounds like it might allow you to use fresh sperm from a known donor with fertility treatments, but it doesn't specifically say that the 6-month quarantine would be waived.  Any legal experts more familiar with it?

[Cananny]

That's a huge step !

[prettyisa]

Hi, everyone! Happy Friday!
Does anyone have some suggestions for getting my kid to eat things that aren't puffs? She's moved on from puking when we try to feed her to clamping her adorable little jaws shut and bobbing and weaving to avoid us, unless the food in question is a (green, for some reason) puff cheerio thing. Neither baby food on a spoon nor chunks of food on her tray will be tolerated! Puffs or bust! Or should I just not worry that she's starting her junk-cereal addiction early and keep handing over the goods?

Also, while I'm asking for advice--how do you corral your kids once they're mobile? Edie rolls all over the living room now and more than once this morning I found her happily pushing our glider with her feet. Visions of squished baby dance in my head, even though it's probably fairly safe...

Cananny--I'm hoping that you get good news about Baby B!

[seraf]

Isa, the best way to get Soren to eat is to offer the food to Shay. He will snatch whatever Shay is eating and shove it in his mouth. Food on his own tray? Over the side and onto the floor. Keeping them corralled? Just go ahead and baby proof. Gates will be your friend to exclude her from whole rooms, but making at least one area completely safe will be a good thing for your sanity in the long term (Sara is buying drawer latches as I type).. I wonder if there's a way you could lock the glider when not in use, either with a strategicly placed block or a pin?

Esenbee, I prefer to think my attention is just more divided.

[pokeyAC]

Loving all the cute baby pics!  You queers have the cutest kids. 

It's been kind of quiet around here so I have a question for y'all.  What do you do about family members who are not supportive or respectful towards your family.  My sister and her husband are born-again Christian types who go to one of those big churches where the minister said he has a gay nephew and if he hears he's going to be at a family event, he just doesn't go.  Real nice guy.  Anyway...  My sister believes being gay is a sin, but she has never been anything but supportive in her words and actions towards me.  She loves DW and is really happy for us and thinks we make a great couple.  However, with her children it's a different story.  They don't refer to DW as Aunt, and they seem to barely know who she is.  We live on the other side of the country so we don't see them very often.  My sister said they don't discourage them from saying aunt but they don't encourage it.  My other sisters' kids are just fine and know who their aunt is.  Now that we're having a baby, I'm not sure what they are going to tell the kids.  It seems like they just avoid the topic and hope things will work out somehow.  My niece is 7 now and my nephew is 4.  Pretty soon they will be old enough to figure things out for themselves.  As you can imagine, this is very upsetting for me an hurtful to my wife.  I have tried explaining this to my sister, but nothing seems to have changed.  She doesn't seem to get that her actions have consequences.  We have discussed referring to my sister and her husband by their first names with our child and not using aunt or uncle because it's only fair.  I love my niece and nephew and I want them to have a good relationship with their new cousin, but their parents are really getting in the way, and I'm not sure how to handle it.  Thoughts?

AFM-- I'm 11 weeks now.  I've actually been starting to feel better in many ways.  I even made it to the gym this week!  Next week we have an NT scan to see how the baby is doing.  I'm trying not to think about it too much so I don't worry.  Everything has been great so far so I'm just hoping for more good news.  My doctor's office already scheduled the 20 u/s without saying anything.  I was surprised when I got the email reminder, but it will work out just fine.  It's crazy to think I will be 20 weeks along at the end of January.  Sometimes it feels like it's going by so quickly.  How are the other preggos doing? 

[maxK]

I love all the cute baby pictures too! So adorable!

Pokey, as to your question... I have been out a very long time and my sister as well. I do experience some resistance from some of my extended family members like Aunt's and Uncles. Recently in March my grandmother passed away. I spent many weeks around these extended family members as I was the one person who rallied to help my grandfather with arrangements and cleaning. At the funeral my trans husband actually spoke because most others were too shy. Seeing us really involved at the funeral really changed my Aunts and Uncles a lot. I had not spoke with many of them for decades and this tragedy really brought everyone together. Both of my parents have their own reservations but with us expecting through adoption they are so excited.

While I don't think tragedy has to happen on order to soften people's hearts, another sort of life changing event may need to occur. I personally refuse to have people in my life who are negative. Life is really too short and I prefer to have positivity and affirmation around me. I can't give you personal advice on what to do but I do think once your child is born your protective nature will kick in hard.

[lisedea]

Lea--I am so sorry for your loss.

nos--How are things going??

seraf--We are staying at someone's house near the hospital 3 months before and a bit after because we cannot afford to stay in a hotel. We have two options on places to stay that cost barely anything--one is free (including utilities!) but a 25 minute drive. We are trying to decide between closeness and cost. Also, babies are free on the airplane until they turn 2 so we will only have to buy two tickets to start. Thank goodness. Actually attempting to be on the plane with the three of them, however, sounds awfully challenging. I have no clue how that is going to work yet....

cannany--I will probably ask you on facebook as well....but how did your appointment go today???

pokey--Ugg. So sorry you are going through that. The problem is, there are always people out there like that...and it is so much worse when they are in our families beacause we feel as though they should KNOW us and understand more. It is easier for me to be forgiving of the ignorant people that haven't ever met a gay person in their lives...well, kinda. I wish I had an answer of what I would do but I don't really know. I probably would consider not having my child use 'aunt' or 'uncle' when referring to them...although I might end up having them called Mrs.____ or Mr.____ which would be really obvious (I am very much into titles for children to use to show respect...maybe has something to do with being a teacher) and might then seem a bit passive aggressive. Oh, I just don't know. Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

max--I need to say again how nice it is to see you back!

Well...I am sore. So, so, so incredibly sore. 16 weeks today!

[seraf]

Pokey, sorry you're feeling unsupported. I kind of just choose to not let things bother me. My kids call their aunt by a nickname half the time (we're hillbillies, it's not pretty), because they don't associate titles with respect any more than I do. When my brother got married, it was not easy to make the transition to calling his wife aunt because she hadn't been in the family long and it's hard to re-learn names. They only call her aunt because she has the same name as Sara and me.

Lise, I'm glad you will be in a house. I wondered how many tickets because I thought you could only have one lap child per adult. 25 minutes isn't a terrible drive. That's how far we are from the hospital where Soren was born, it was a long drive home the nights he and Sara stayed at the hospital but a quick drive in in the mornings. We sometimes drive to that town twice in a day, I would guess you would spend most of your time at the hospital once they're born. Nice belly.

Here's a silly picture. Shay wanted to try the jump up again. He is way too big for it and once he realized that only immobilized him he wanted out.