Queer, Pregnant, and Parenting! November, December, and January 2013!!! - Page 9

[starling&diesel]

Hi everyone ... dropping in to comment on Pokey's question and to say look at that GORGEOUS belly, Lisedea! And of course to give a big shout out to MAX!!! WHOOOOHOO!!! Welcome back! I am so excited for you and your partner!  Here is your veggie parade, parents-to-be!  Sorry to be so late to the party!

Pokey, are you close with your sister?  Do you want to have a relationship with her and her family?  Does her disapproval tug at the very core of your value system and/or heart-gut?  

I say this gently, and from experience, sometimes the right thing to do for yourself and your family is to let the relationship take its natural course.  Which might mean that it fizzles away entirely, or that you might feel compelled to call her on her shit and have that end it succinctly.  

Speaking for myself, I haven't spoken to my brother for over ten years.  Sometimes I miss having a brother, but mostly, I don't miss the things that drove so many wedges between us in the first place.  Sometimes I miss my children having 'authentic' cousins, but they were so much older and lived far away that they wouldn't have been into my kids anyway, and our life is filled to overflowing with chosen family, with lots of children thrown in there for good measure.

Were it me, I would call her on her shit.  I am incredibly easy-going, except when it comes to my family.  If people want to be a part of our family life, they need to recognize us not only as a family, but as a family that is as valuable as any other family.  If someone's religious convictions get in the way of that, that is *their* problem, not mine.  I have an aunt that I am estranged from for the reason that she is a fundamentalist Christian and cannot accept my family.  She *tolerates* us, sure, but does not accept us.  Love the sinner, hate the sin?  Not good enough.

I expect more from my family.   She couldn't get past her deeply held value system, and I respect that by leaving her alone.  I don't want my children subjected to her blatant disapproval, or even sensing intrisic disapproval from someone who is *supposed* to be a trusted and beloved member of the family.  I'll say it again, tolerating is not enough.  We all deserve more than being merely *tolerated*.  I might tolerate my tap dripping, or a crappy work colleague, but when it comes to family, tolerating is insufficient.

Family by blood is what you're given to start with.  You are then free to add, or delete, as necessary in order to keep your children and your partner and yourself feeling safe and loved, which is a basic human right.

What a difficult thing to have to deal with, Pokey.  You have my sympathy and my support, however you choose to handle it.  Trust your gut. 

[prettyisa]

Lise--what a great bump! And I'm glad you have some good options. For what it's worth, we were about half an hour from the hospital, too, but I think if I were faced with the possibility of NICU time I'd go for the place closest--it's going to be tough enough having to come and go without a commute thrown in.

Seraf-- I know. -sigh- we're getting things ready for actual babyproofing now. Our house is just not very well set up for it at the moment. Hopefully the renovation we're thisclose to getting started will fix the problems!

Pokey--I'm sorry you're facing this situation. It's not fun, I know. My only addition to what Starling and the others have said is that it might be worth your while to wait and see a little bit before you call her on this. My MIL and her stepchildren did some really similar stuff (not bringing the step grandkids to our wedding so as not to 'expose' them, saying unintentionally nasty stuff that made DP wonder if her own mother would accept our daughter as a grandchild, and so on). But once the baby got here, it's been love and kisses and bring my grandbaby here now. The stepdaughter brings her kids over absolutely as often as possible when we're down there to visit, and although I have no idea what she told her now 11 year old about who the parents are, they all treat us equally as mothers. Your mileage, clearly, may vary, but I was very grateful that the line about babies changing everything held true in our case, and that we didn't push too hard before. It still sucks, and I hated feeling like our family wasn't SEEN as a family right away, but in our case it was worth it to risk one or two bad encounters (that Edie wouldn't have really been conscious of) in the hopes that people would come around. you also might want to watch or share the movie Fish out of Water with your sister. it talks about the bible and gayness in a way that may speak to her in a good way. good luck navigating! family can be so messy!

AFM-- Edie officially cut her first tooth! one down, 27 to go, right?

[seraf]

Isa, yay for a tooth but only 15 to go in the next year! Shay has 8 and he has been working on 8 more for a month or so. Soren mostly stays in one places still, because he sits where sat. What kind of renovations will make your place easier? Our whole house is survivable but not baby proof. We do keep the sewing room's door closed because I have too many scissors and needles in there for comfort. Our newest obstacle is that Shay can climb up to the table now. I know it's only a matter of time before he is on the art table instead of the harmless kitchen table.

Shay's new trick, "Yeah yeah yeah yeah."

[starling&diesel]

Re: babyproofing ... we never did! I like seraf's "survivable but not babyproof" take on it.

In our case, so far, so good.  Just mind the chokeables and keep an eye on hazards and coach kids to navigate the house safely in general.  Go free-range babies! No drawer- or toilet locks, no baby gates, no padded corners.  We do tether bookshelves to the wall (more about being in an earthquake zone than anything) and I think we will put something up on the 2nd- and 3rd floor windows though.  

I figure the earlier they can master the world as it truly is, the better!  

[seraf]

Starling, we are putting locks on the drawers in the bathroom just because Shay is a toothpaste eater. He can open any lid, childproof or not, has been able to for months. So certain things are out of his reach. I also want some baby proofing just so I don't have to pick up so many things. I did no baby proofing for the older kids, but my attention was less divided with me staying home with only 2 kids.



Did you just sit with H every time he was near the top of stairs until he mastered them? Shay is not the brightest (ok, neither was Osh) or most graceful and constantly tried to descend face first in the beginning.

[carmen358]

I'll chime in as another didn't really babyproof the house parent. Even though I am actually quite a paranoid person when it comes to DDs safety. I think it was easier because DD is a thoughtful and observant kid so she tended to "get" what was safe and what wasn't fairly quickly. We did plug covers and she NEVER went near one. The main one we did was a baby gate by the stairs - again, mostly because I was paranoid, not necessarily because DD ever really tried to get down unsafely. We were VERY careful with choking hazards though and still are....

[seraf]

Interesting, O and Sh loved to crawl around with small rocks/chokables in their mouths. They never tried to swallow non-food chokables. I never used outlet covers and the kids didn't care. Shay has tried to put the phone chargers in his mouth and drooled on the remote enough to corrode the battery terminals so those are out of reach now. Lol, we heat the house with fire and don't really worry about that, babies are smart if they make it through the first few months if mobility.

[carmen358]

Originally Posted by seraf 

Interesting, O and Sh loved to crawl around with small rocks/chokables in their mouths. They never tried to swallow non-food chokables. I never used outlet covers and the kids didn't care. Shay has tried to put the phone chargers in his mouth and drooled on the remote enough to corrode the battery terminals so those are out of reach now. Lol, we heat the house with fire and don't really worry about that, babies are smart if they make it through the first few months if mobility.

Yeah, that's what I meant.....DD never went near a plug so we definitely didn't need the covers! I would have had a heart attack if she crawled around with rocks in her mouth.

[kateadelle]

Wow, the last couple of weeks have just flown by!

Originally Posted by pokeyAC 

 Now that we're having a baby, I'm not sure what they are going to tell the kids.  It seems like they just avoid the topic and hope things will work out somehow.  My niece is 7 now and my nephew is 4.  Pretty soon they will be old enough to figure things out for themselves.  As you can imagine, this is very upsetting for me an hurtful to my wife.  I have tried explaining this to my sister, but nothing seems to have changed.  She doesn't seem to get that her actions have consequences.  We have discussed referring to my sister and her husband by their first names with our child and not using aunt or uncle because it's only fair.  I love my niece and nephew and I want them to have a good relationship with their new cousin, but their parents are really getting in the way, and I'm not sure how to handle it.  Thoughts?

This is my situation almost exactly down to the kids ages! Most of my family (immediate and extended) are evangelical Christians. I know that they don't "approve" but they are kind and loving to both me and my partner. But when it comes to the kids, I think they are a little unclear about how to handle it - like telling them the truth is going to somehow convey that they approve or will confuse the kids. My four year old niece periodically refers to my partner as my "sister". My sister always corrects her and tells her that Kris is my "friend". I mostly keep my mouth shut because a) I am not the parent and b) I know that there will be a point when the kids figure it out for themselves and will be fine. It is a little awkward with the baby coming. My sister keeps referring to "Auntie Kate's baby" (luckily never in front of DP), which is just lame. My plan is to just not adjust the language we use in front of the family. We will both be some variation of "mom". At some point, my sister and her husband are just going to end up looking ridiculous in their refusal to be honest and deal with reality, so I am just going to let that happen. 

AFM - Friday was my last day at work before maternity leave (although I am going in next Wednesday to do an employee review, but it is my choice to do so). I found out last week that my placenta has moved enough that is no longer considered a risk - so I am pretty thrilled about that. My midwives had already approved me for homebirth, but it is nice to have one less thing to worry about. My birth tub is getting delivered tomorrow!

Here is a photo taken yesterday morning at almost 38 weeks. 

[prettyisa]

Seraf—well, that’s a relief! She went and got miserable on us last night, so I guess the realities have set in, poor little thing. We’re doing a HUGE renovation—you’ll have to come and see next summer! Basically the back porch off the kitchen will become part of the kitchen (with fancy eat-in banquette!), and the scary attic will be magically transformed into three bedrooms and a bathroom, all larger than the ones we have currently. It’s way cheaper than buying a new house in our neighborhood (and easier than moving) and we get to keep all of the things we like about our house, but get our office back, and a playroom/guest room in what is now our bedroom. Hopefully we’ll have permits and funding in place by the end of the month and the project will be done in not too many months after that. I have a naïve hope that it’ll all be ready for Edie’s birthday, but I’m trying to tell myself that as long as it’s over by next Christmas we’ll be happy.

We’ll have to do some babyproofing—we already took out the small tables that we used as drink stands, but which are totally unstable. I tried to find a nice box for the modem yesterday, but couldn’t find anything with a lid. Other than locking our under-sink cabinets (as much for sanity as safety) and making sure we keep the doors that lead to staircases firmly shut I think we’ll probably just keep an eye on her and not leave dangerous stuff lying around. Most of our knickknacks are above baby level anyway, thankfully.

Kate—so cute! And glad to hear that the placenta is officially not a problem! Do you have any projects you want to get done in the next few weeks, or is everything already complete?

[starling&diesel]

Look at that lovely belly, kateadelle!  You could be a preggo model!

Further to the babyproofing ... I like the Continuum Concept way of letting babies figure the world out on their own terms.  I'm with seraf, and also let my kids crawl around with rocks, etc in their mouths. We did have one random and scary choking incident while he was eating a whole apple at ten months or so, which I was happy to give him and would again.  

Seraf, we went up with H and stayed with him until he got proficient at getting back down.  He's never fallen, unless you count one time when I knocked him down the stairs with the laundry basket.  Now he's on all three floors whenever he wants, and one of us will go up and peek in on him if he's been up there on his own for a while.  

No plug covers, no gates, no padding, no locks (seraf, our toothpaste, etc is in a cupboard above the toilet, which he doesn't climb ... yet).  BUT I'll also say that we have a very clutter-free house, which helps.  Especially when he's on another floor.  I know there isn't much to get into.  

Baby up!  Gotta go!

And because E was so patient while I checked in here, here is her contribution:

[maxK]

LiseDea- Nice photo! Are you sore from growing rapidly?
Starling- So good to see you here and thank you for the veggie parade. How was your birth? I see you have a little one year old. I like your idea of free range babies. Not sure if I can convince DP of that but will try.
Kateadelle- Nice photo!
AFU- We are negotiating the birth plan with the birthparents for the next two weeks. Something she brought up to me today. They really like the middle name Karma and want to know what we think of it? I think she is asking for that to be the middle name after the adoption goes through. DP is very much against it. He wants the names to be from us. I’m more open minded but I just don’t think the name will fit. We haven’t decided on names yet but we have to in the next two weeks.
QOTD- Has anyone ever read, “Bringing up Bebe”? It is about the differences between French and American parenting styles and I love it. I’m really into this thing they call The Pause. The French usually wait a while to assess crying before jumping up to pick the baby up.

[prettyisa]

Max--we do that with Edie. I feel like it's a midpoint between attachment parenting and crying it out, neither of which quite fits our parenting style. I like to give her a chance to settle on her own, which she does a good part of the time. And if she doesn't within a minute or so (or it's clear from the sounds she's making that she's really upset and not just a little annoyed) we go in and soothe her. I haven't read the book, but I'd be curious to hear if there's anything else compelling in there. And I'd have a hard time using Karma as a middle name--is there a way that the birth parents could choose a name symbolically--that would always be part of the baby's history, and one of his names, but not a formal one? I'm so impressed by the careful line parents in open adoptions manage to walk to honor the birth parents--it must be frustrating to have to negotiate these things! (ETA: that is, to negotiate them with more than just your partner. Naming is a contact sport around my house...)

[seraf]

Carmen, it started kind of naturally. Kid would crawl up to me to nurse and spit out a rock (yeah, I didn't even know how long it had been in there) so I figured he had it under control.

Kate, nice belly.

Isa, those renovations sound awesome. I hope it is quick and painless.

Starling, Shay generally goes up no problem. He has fallen down half a flight, and I usually carry him down. If he was totally free range he would eat nothing but dog food and all our electronics would live underwater.

Max, is the baby due in 2 weeks or just contract deadlines. That would be a complex dance.
I haven't read that book. I've read several articles about it that rubbed me the wrong way. I'm glad it's better than I presupposed. I don't practice The Pause. I generally keep the baby with me and I can usually assess the baby before he even bothers crying. I am lucky and most of my babies have been pretty chill.

[Cananny]

I am sure most of us are on the FB page and have seen this but for those not.. here is me 2 weeks ago.. I have grown since then. but i dont care to take a lot of photos.. LOL

Things are getting more un comfy.. def hard to lie down for long.. hard to get from sitting to standing and so on.. I get winded very easily and have to take is super easy  Bed rest starts on Dec 14th.. with the following week as an as needed back up... but DP can take care of the little one if I can not...

I am 22 weeks now and I think the boys are starting to kick more.. I dont have a clue to what kicking feels like though.. I still am sore and have trouble walking far because there is always a baby or 2 and sometimes all 3 on my cervix/bladder. 

I can feel where they are now.. as they have gotten bigger.. They espec love when I am in the bathtub... last weekend one of them pushed my belly button all the way out and made this weird shape ( like top of a cupcake) around my belly button.. It will be interesting to see what more mischief they will be up to in utero...

We are meeting another queer couple who are 29 weeks with triplets who live 10 mins from us this upcoming weekend... !  I am excited!! LOL

Max I am so excited to hear things are moving along in the adoption for you... FX extra tight.. Is the baby a boy or girl? And Karma is a diff middle name for sure.. but if it makes this flow easier for the adoption............ why not... I have not read that book but we are that way in our nanny style with kids.. and plan to do it with the boys.. Espec having three we can not really do full on AP.. I believe in some AP and some not AP.. I am def in the middle of crunchy and non crunchy~

Level 2 u/s is wendesday to check on Baby B 2 vessel cord....

Hi to everyone else!

[starling&diesel]

Okay, Cananny!  You win the belly contest, hands down!  So awesome that there are three boys in there.  What a trip.

Max ... I also keep my babies close, and respond to cries immediately.  It works for us, and is what my gut and heart has always instructed me to do. As for the bebe book, yes, read it.  My short review is that it is an oversimplified and vastly over generalized and hyper- idealized spin on the French 'way' of doing things, as seen by an American outsider.  The gist that it's 'better' that children obey, behave, sleep through the night, and observe strict rules does not fly with me at all.  Not my style.  That being said, I value a lot of the cultural attitudes that are typical of the French when it comes to children.  I like that they include the children alongside daily life and don't molly coddle them or centre every waking minute around them.  I like that they emphasize healthy eating in a way that encourages children to actually understand the sensation of being hungry.  

Sure, you could put the typically hovering' & obsessive  "American" parenting style (resulting in spoiled children) on one end of the spectrum and the aloof and self-assured "French" style (resulting in well-dressed, confident children) on the other, but that would be ridiculous, because everyone parents somewhere in the muddy soup in between. Please know that my tongue is firmly in my cheek, here.

Succinctly put,  I don't agree with the book as a guide of any sort.  It was an interesting read though!  Far more of a memoir than a parenting book, in my opinion.  

As for the name issue ... I'm of two minds.  Having adopted our embryos, I would've balked at being asked to include a name from the bio folks, and would've ultimately refused.  But then thinking of what it would take to give a child away, I think it's the least they could ask, and it could become a very special part of your child's story.  I like the name (no surprise, being that I'm super crunchy and my boy has a a very similar middle name to the proposed one), and if I could live with it and my DP was on board, and we were adoptive parents of a child born to another couple, I would take the name.  That's me, all over the map.  Not helpful, I am sure.

[nosreves]

wow, so many beautiful bellies here!  i wish i could add a photo to the mix, but somehow we just never get around to taking decent shots (there are some indecent ones that manage to make me look like i'm wearing a skin-covered basketball, but other than that....)

Max -- i'm so excited for you about the adoption.  i honestly don't know what i would do about the name, though.... it's a tough call, and i'm sure you don't want to alienate the birth parents, but at the same time, i can understand wanting to stand your ground.   i also wanted to comment on the book you mentioned, as i live in France (among all the froggies) and will be raising my child with a French partner.  i have to preface this by admitting that i haven't read the book yet, but i have read excerpts and a lot of commentary.  from what i can gather, it's a very skewed view of things over here.  the author is what's called a "bobo" (bourgeois bohemian), and the wealthy world she inhabits here in Paris is *very* far removed from typical French life.  yes, there are things that i think the French do better (for example, most children have a healthier, much more varied diet; however, there are plenty of families who feed their kids "MacDo" (McDonalds) and other crappy food on a daily basis).  French children *do* throw temper tantrums and make it impossible for their parents to have phone conversations, and, as my frazzled co-workers can tell you, there are plenty of them who don't sleep through the night.  there are a lot of things that i really dislike about parenting over here.  this is not a particularly AP-friendly country, so DP and i are already seen as weirdo hippies because we want to do things like cloth diaper, babywear and co-sleep.  breastfeeding is not encouraged *at all*, and just making it to three months is considered a real feat.  i know several women who didn't even try because they just wanted to get back to smoking as soon as possible....i kid you not.   so, yeah, i'd say that you should take the book with a big ole shaker of Mortons.  i think the author was cashing in on the myth of "the French do everything better"  and as a queer woman/soon-to-be parent dealing with a lot of discrimination and backward thinking in France, i can tell you that it is indeed a myth. there's nothing magical about this culture, and there's no one "French" parenting style, but there are good parents and bad parents and everything in between just like everywhere else.   and i'll just dismount from my soapbox now... 

afm...i'll be 38 weeks tomorrow, and i'm still having lots and lots of contractions with accompanying back pain.  i have my next-to-last midwife appointment at the hospital today, and i'm a bit worried that they're either going to keep me or induce me.  after all the high BP readings and the edema, they made me do a 24hr urine test.  i got the results yesterday, and they weren't particularly good.  i guess i'll see what my MW says in two hours.  i realllly don't want to be induced, but i will just have to deal with it if it's the best thing for me and the little vikingsprout.

btw, some of you have already seen this on FB, but i wanted to share this video that i rather serendipitously captured of my little kitty doula.  she knew i was pregnant before i even got my BFP, and she loves being on or up against my stomach.  i have a feeling she and the baby are going to be fast friends.

[wishin'&hopin']

I've been following along but for some reason haven't been up to actually posting (nothing really going on, just not posting much)...

Childproofing--in our old house we actually had a handyman come in and install latches on all our cupboards and gates for stairs (large open stairs with no barrier going into basement w/ concrete floor).  BUT, we moved when DS was 14 months and never baby proofed the new house--mostly b/c DS is so cautious and was never (and is still not) mouthy with non food items.  We do have a gate to our basement, but it's mostly to keep the dog out of the cat litter.  We took the gate to the upstairs down when DS was competent with stairs, around 18 months.  I feel like baby proofing is SO kid dependent...this kid has never really required it.  With the next kid we'll see--right now we're trying to figure out what we are going to put downstairs so the baby can sleep/lie unmolested when I can't be carrying him/her (we figure it's only fair to protect the baby from marauding cats, the dog and the older brother).

Max--you may want to post your concern about the middle name in the adoptive/foster parents forum.  I totally get that Karma may not be your or DP's style...but their may be something to consider around how your child will feel regarding a name gifted from his/her birth parents (friends of ours felt strongly about allowing the birth mother of their sons to have input into their names...and while one of their sons has a name they wouldn't have chosen, it is his name and his parents feel that their is healing in the naming).  Would it be worth considering a double middle name?  That way you can honor the birth parent's wishes and if your son hates it later on he can just drop it--and when you need to do the full name (you know, when you need to be stern ;) you can just leave off the second middle name.

Nos--I have a couple safe for public consumption (altho' never shared) pregnant belly photos from my pregnancy with DS, I figured he may want to see them someday.  Otherwise, I'm glad to hear your review of the book...a former friend read it and started parenting based on what she'd read within.  It really bothered me b/c she felt it was a critique of both American parenting and attachment parenting--and since that's my parenting ethos I found it really abrasive.  Keep us posted and ELV your way as needed.

Kate--best wishes that your projects all get wrapped up as you approach the birthing day!  

Cananny--wow, just wow.  I hope that you have the chance to find a pool or something for floating/swimming, it sounds like things are pretty uncomfortable.  Best of luck with bed rest--I hope you have your DVR/reading for pleasure stash fully stocked!  

Seraf--I always love your pictures!  

Starling--I remember you writing about the apple incident, how scary.  We did baby led weaning w/ DS and we never had a big choking incident, but it was something I was always very nervous about.  

AFM(us)--DW felt the baby move the night before she hit 16 weeks!   She is 17 weeks today and we are both astonished at how quickly pregnancy flies by with a toddler/preschooler.  DW's belly is large enough that I still wonder at times if they somehow missed a baby when they did the transvaginal ultrasound at 7 weeks...but DW isn't very big pre-pregnancy and I think she's probably just going to be the sort of person who looks like they are due soon the entire pregnancy.  We will find out the baby's sex (hopefully) at our level 2 ultrasound on December 20th...I'm super excited, especially since we think we've found names for either a boy or girl that we can both live with (we find out sex and like to name pre-birth, with the contingency that we can change the name if the baby doesn't look like a "?", because it helps both of us feel more grounded and connected to the kidlet to be)  DS is excited about the baby and wants to name the baby the same name as his name...but it's still a very abstract concept for him, he'll be three in April.  Our insurance is refusing coverage for DS's speech therapy so we are waiting for the public school evaluation.  DS is using more and more words--but very little is understandable (altho' it is getting better, we are doing loads of work with him on articulation at home with the advice of our speech therapist).  Apart from speech issues, DS is clever and super funny and amazing at puzzles--he can do 24 piece jig saw puzzles on his own (yup, bragging here, but since he still sounds like a 12 month old in speech I am trying to lift up some of his other gifts ;)  He's very interested in dinosaurs right now and like to pretend to be a baby brachiosaurus who eats leaves.  He is going to go to a preschool program a couple of mornings a week beginning in January so that I can get some work done.  I have a consulting gig and need the time to work since he no longer naps.  I think he'll really enjoy being with the other kids and we're hoping that being with adults/kids without us to translate for him will encourage him to use some of the words we know he can say but that he has developed workarounds for.  

Hope everyone stays well through the holiday season and finds loads to celebrate as the light decreases a bit more before it starts its slow increase again!  

[Cananny]

Thanks everyone... I keep wondering how much more I will grow over the next 10-12 weeks? Yikes!!!
I usually love the pool but for some reason it irritates my breasts really bad to the point of burning... So no pools here... I do try and take a bath when possible ... Though I'm to big really now for ours
This is my last week with my nanny kids I have been with for 3.5 years... Their mom is having a harder time than all of us lol!!! I think Logan the 4 yr old will have a hard time adjusting but he's also old enough where he understands ... Transitions are hard... One more step to me not working.... This is a hard concept for me.....trying to not stress about it to much ....
Wishin ... Yay for movement!!!!

[seraf]

CaNanny, awesome belly. You going to have to change your username?

Starling, thanks for the book review. The food and the idea that the world doesn't revolve around any one person were the ideas that bugged me less. The idea that she didn't even know that she could talk to a toddler and he could listen until the French rescued her from herself didn't sit right. I think if I was a minimalist, I would have to baby proof less. Not that I do much.

Nos, take a picture quick, before he's born! Good luck today. Thank you for the critique of French parenting and reminding us that kids are kids everywhere. AP will still get you looks here, if that makes you feel any better. I'm sorry that breastfeeding is frowned upon there (hey, they knock it on TV here, too) and its kind of scary that they may be looking at legalizing our families and still can't handle the idea of nursing a baby over there. You have a good LC lined up? I hope it all goes smoothly for you, but if you need emotional support, we are here for you.

Wishin, I doubt your son speaks less than Shay, who is 13 months (he has half a dozen words, which are merely syllables), but I bet it's frustrating. Yay for movement.