Queer, Pregnant, and Parenting! November, December, and January 2013!!! - Page 13

[wishin'&hopin']

Seraf--we have another screening tomorrow and then a parent meeting next week...so not sure :)  On the list of new words that we can understand (if not the general public!) is "cowboy" which meant today involved an explanation that President Obama does not, in fact, have a cowboy (DW was reading him "Of Thee I Sing")

Pokey--we found out the sex at our 20 week ultrasound for DS, and will find out next week if the baby cooperates at our 20 week ultrasound (actually, it will be 19 weeks 2 days, but who's counting!)

[cordelia15]

Hi everyone!  so much recent activity after a lull, so great to read everyone's updates.. don't think I can make it through personals but to answer a few things

amber necklaces. .DS wears one and we love it, no proof that it works but it did seem to help.  we also love Camillia, which is all natural.  some hylands has belladonna in it which we personally like to avoid but other's swear by it!  We also did give advil when it was at it's worst. 

circumcision.. we did not do it for a boy, DS is 1/2 jewish but since I am only 1/2 jewish not technically the mom's side but whatever.. he can always have a ceremonial blood-letting if that is important to him.  We are pretty strong about non -circ.. also we are in NYC and in urban areas rates of circ are actually matching non-circ so we are not as worried about the locker room thing.  We did read a LOT about it though and have a bunch or resources out there, they are probably biased but do have a lot of medical info.  I just feel that in the end, I did not have any valid reasons for cutting DS as I did not feel strongly about it religiously, found no actual medical studies that seemed valid to back up disease prevention and let that guide me.  

AFU . we did our NT scan and also did a blood test for Down's (that tests fetal DNA in mom's bloodstream) and found out we were negative for Down's on both tests (huge relief since I was worried because of my age) and also found out what we are having which was a total shock bc I did not know the blood test told that but apparently they just started being able to do it this month!!!  So we are having a girl!!  I am pretty excited.  I honestly would have been happy either way since I am so in love with DS but it seems like it would be fun to have a girl too.  Though as a side note, when people ask me if I am finding out the gender I say, "maybe in 10-20 years but we did find out the sex!"  Most people don't get it.  

Hope everyone is well and hope to get back to more folk individually!!!

[Cananny]

Hey

Midwife.. Congrats on your daughter.. love the pics :) 

Knitting.. congrats on a little mix in there.. as for circ . we are having 3 boys.. so the cost was a big issue ( ins will not cover) and then I started reading about the pros and cons.. and feel 99 percent sure we are not circ.. I hope you and DP can figure it out together.

Cordelia.. congrats on a girl and the low risk of downs

Pokey. Hiya neighbor.. glad your NT results were good and I cant wait to know what you are having either :)

Wishin.. congrats on therapy for your son!! I am sure you are relieved

Max.. getting close.. I am crossing fingers for you guys

AFM.. almost 24 weeks.. time seems to be flying by.. we could have babies in 6 weeks.. ( average triplets go 30-32 weeks) I am hoping for 32-34 weeks so they spend less time in the NICU.. I am tired.. this was my last official week of work with a few days next week .. it is going to be weird not going to work every day.. But I am ready to rest and grow the boys nice and strong.

We met another lesbian couple having triplets who live near here. they are 6 weeks ahead of us! We hit it off and look forward to the six kids hanging out :) 

Sat is DP b day and I am having someone clean the house.. and sending her with our friends for a pedicure/manicure apt . shes been so busy and picking up the slack with everything.. I think she will love coming home to a clean house!!!

[darthtunaqueen]

Im jumping in as a NICU nurse. In BC the rates of circ are tiny, something like less than 15% of boys are cut now, probably because it's not covered by MSP anymore. I watched an instructional video on circ and nearly died it was so horrible. In fact, there was a baby who died in our NICU many years ago as a result of blood loss post circ (surgery was done in a different hospital). The Canadian Pediatric Association (or whatever they're called) do not recommend the routine circumcision of infants, mostly because it's unnecessary. I figure I cause enough pain to babies already, I understand how delicate their neurological systems are as a newborn and what they sound like when they scream from pain (it makes my heart drop every. Single. Time.). The research about HIV transmission was poorly done, so can't even be used as proper data.. Which is terribly unfortunate. I wrote a paper on HIV transmission in nursing school and circumcision is not the answer to reducing infection rates, condoms and education are!

Ok, off my soap box now.

[prettyisa]

Hi Lilielill! Congrats on your soon-to-be-here son! You’ve got to be getting so close now!

Pokey—sorry about your sister and just not getting it. I hope she’ll eventually see what she’s doing—sooner than later, and with genuine change and apologies!

Cordelia—definitely lol’d at that one! I always feel mildly uncomfortable asking about the sex of new babies—I want to know, but I also know it might not mean what we think it does. Meanwhile, congrats on your little girl! I figure that until she complains about it, you can do her up as pink and floral as your little heart desires (or not)!

Cananny—so glad you have friends in the same boat! And nearby!

Easttowest—I was very relieved to have a girl and remove the conversation from our minds until the next baby. In the end, I’m just not Jewish enough to follow through on that particular piece of the religion (my theory being that if I’m not religious enough to celebrate all of the holidays—not just the fun ones—I shouldn’t feel bound by the rules). My non-Jewish wife was more invested in the idea, for some reason, but I think it has to do with her half-formed desire to convert. I also think that if she had been forced to make the decision after Edie was born, knowing how deeply sad we found the needle wound on her foot from the shots they gave her (everything kind of went to hell in the delivery room and that one got past us) there’s no way she would have said to do it. That said, I do think religion is a valid reason for such things. Rambling now. What I mean to say is I hope you get a girl and a free pass on the decision, too!

[outdoorsy]

Cordelia - I'm thinking about getting that same DNA test you mentioned, but haven't been able to get an answer on the cost yet. Do you know how much it cost? Was any of it covered by insurance?

AFM -- Well everyone, I know I haven't checked in in a while, but things are going OK. I tried to get my NT test, and they couldn't do it because the baby wouldn't pick its chin up properly, so I have to go back.

I've discovered that when you're pregnant, some people take leave of their senses with regard to what's acceptable to say about your weight and eating. When I was 2 1/2 months and started telling close family and friends, there were two separate incidents where someone replied, "I thought you had gained weight!" (which clearly was not from the baby at that early stage). Also people have made comments about how I should be eating healthy, even though I normally do.

Hope everyone is well.

[lillielil]

Thanks for the warm welcome!

Still pregnant. I just got back from the chiropractor, and he's predicting that baby H will be born Sunday morning. I have kind of mixed feeling about that because Sunday is our wedding anniversary and I'm not too good at sharing! At least we have a backup date - we can start using our courthouse wedding anniversary instead of our actual ceremony date. At this point I'm trying all kinds of things to hurry this baby up a bit. I'm really hoping for a natural birth, so I feel like the pressure is on to get things started in the next week.

[planet]

Hey you guys ! Don't have much time here but I wanted to quickly jump in on the circumcision conversation as another Jew who choose to keep my son intact. Much to the disapproval of my parents, we felt strongly that we were not going to cut off any part of our baby unless it was medically necessary. I don't believe it makes him any "less Jewish" and if he really wants to, he can always go for it later in life (but there's no going back!). I also don't think it makes him any less normal, maybe because we live in a big city and we know at least 3 other intact baby boys. Anyways, I hope you guys can work it out and come to an agreement that feels good to you both!

seraf, love the hair!

Stef, congratulations!

Hello and love to all of you!!!

Oh, and p.s. Wylie has been sleeping next to us on the bed for almost two weeks! All of a sudden he became okay with being swaddled (with his legs free) and i nurse him to sleep and it works!!! Our lives have been revolutionized. Thank you for your support!!!

[cordelia15]

cannanny.. wow, I can't believe you are so close!  I hope you get a few more weeks in though to get those babies nice and big though I honestly can't imagine how hard that will be for you!  What a nice present for DP. . 

outdoorsy. . I know insurance covered most of mine but not sure what, my Dr didn't tell me but I have not been billed anything yet so don't know.  I had just assumed it was covered (which was probably stupid) bc my Dr. recommended it and didn't say anything about it not being covered.  I don't know if is bc I am so damn old though :)  I hit 40 a week before my tests I think so at the uber "geriatric mark" 

prettyisa. . I think she will get some girl clothes (though a pale redhead pink does not tend to look good on my people if she comes out looking like me)  but I do enjoy dresses!  She will also wear a lot of boy clothes too bc we have a lot of boy clothes and we want to save some $  :)

[esenbee2]

cordelia -with DD, we made sure to buy all the bright, primary colors for all of the toys instead of the pink versions they have now.  For practical reasons (if we have a boy for our next) and to be sure not to push her into any gender just because her sex is female.  For clothes, we never went with anything frilly and pink, mostly because DSp thought it all look horrendous, but also for the same gender vs. sex reason as well.  As soon as DD learned to talk though, it was ballerina this, dancing that, pink, pink, pink, dresses, dresses, dresses.  She is the biggest girly girl I have ever seen!  It is incredible how much they express so young!  We definitely felt good though about giving her the freedom to express who she truly is inside, without being bombarded with being a girl just because her biological sex is female.

Here is a picture from last night when we went to the library for a reading of the Nutcracker and a presentation by one of the dancers. She just HAD to wear her dress up tutu!

Edited by esenbee2 - 12/14/12 at 12:52pm

[pokeyAC]

We can find out the sex at the 20-week scan but my wife is very impatient and she can't handle secrets.  Last night she was squeezing her Christmas presents to try to figure out what they are.  She doesn't like to wait.  I'm totally fine.  I just have to convince her to revel in the mystery a little longer.

cananny-That sounds like a great birthday present!

[cordelia15]

esenbe. .that is a great pic! and I am with you, if she wants to be a princess she can be, I do love watching their expressions unfold!  DS def has preferences already

pokey. .. that is funny about DW and the x-mas presents. . 

[lisedea]

3 boys!!!

Thankful for the circumcision discussion since it has been on my mind today!

[seraf]

Lise, yay for boys! Boys are super fun. They can make their own circumcision decision when they've grow up, no worries.

[pokeyAC]

cordelia--I enjoyed your joke even if the other folks didn't get it!

Lisedea--You're having 3 boys too?  No way!  That's nuts.

[Cananny]

So crazy that we are both having all boys!!!!

[darthtunaqueen]

Good lord, Lisa!!! You and Cananny really must've nailed the insem timing!!! Those little Y sperm were first past the post!!! Congrats, that's so exciting!!! I always think of Linus/Dexter/Simon when I think about triplet boys. And the identical triplet boys I've met in my career who were just the cutest thing you could shake a stick at.

[cordelia15]

wow 3 boys!  lisedea. . that's great!  I have a friend pregnant with twins and she joked there had to be a good chance she was having at least one girl since she was having two and I thought of you and cananny and just laughed!

[starling&diesel]

Hi everyone.
So many boys! Awesome!
And so I'll get on my soapbox too (thanks to Darthtuna for putting it so well!).
I am a huge and passionate advocate for keeping our boy children intact. Even if we didn't live in a place where it is frowned upon by the medical establishment and not funded by our public health care system, we would not have done it.
I would suggest that anyone who is questioning check out the circumcision forum here on Mothering, to get a sense of the intactivist approach and to offset the information onslaught from the other side.
I can't imagine such a painful and torturous assault being one of the first sensory experiences a baby experiences. A body doesn't forget, right down to the cellular level.
I understand that my point of view may offend, and I accept that. I feel very passionately about it.

On a lighter note .... I am so happy that so many boys are going to be raised by such AWESOME parents!!

[maxK]

Welcome Lillie, so exciting to hear you are due any minute!

Cananny- It sounds like our babies will be really close in age. So cute, maybe we will have to plan a plan date in the future.

Cordelia- Congrats on learning it’s a baby girl!

AFU- We had our contract meeting yesterday with the birthparents. Everything went very well and we are going full steam ahead. We may have our baby in one month! We still do not know the sex so we are picking out a variety of names.
Also, I am very adamantly against circumcision.