Queer, Pregnant, and Parenting! November, December, and January 2013!!! - Page 25

[seraf]

Isa, I hope you feel better soon.

Outdoorsy, you have 4 or 5 months? She probably doesn't feel the time crunch as severely as you. All my babies have stayed in my room until they were kids, so I've never fought about a baby room. My personal stance is just smile and nod. More normal might be to ask her to pick a deadline, walk backward through the projects so they each have a deadline and ask if there's anything you can do to help? More assertive would be to show up at home with materials to build the closet and start building if she doesn't take the hint. More sassy might be to empty one drawer, lay the baby in it and send her a picture of the baby enjoying her new room.

Pokey, what do you do that you have to dress a certain way? If you have to dress up and skirts are comfy for you, that might help.

[lisedea]

wishin'--Good luck with starting speech! How often does the preschool meet? I think it will be really good for him to go and be around the other kids--it may be good for his speech! Obviously, you know best if you feel as though pulling him out would be the best thing to do but I would give it a good try--just keep in mind that he might need some adjustment time.

Pokey--I wore black yoga pants to work a few times with a nicer looking shirt and it looked fine--SO much more comfortable at the awkward beginning stage...

isa--Thanks! I think I will PM her and see how it went...

outdoorsy--Oooh...that is tough. I really don't have any advice about it...but I wish you luck!

21 weeks today!

[wishin'&hopin']

Pokey--here's another vote for "nice" black yoga pants for work 

Outdoorsy--I liked Seraf's suggestion of setting deadlines and helping with provisioning of materials for each project.  Other than that, it would make me CRAZY to not feel like space was being made for me or the kidlet...that's tough, and you are clearly a wildly patient woman!  

Seraf--he used some sign at first (more, nursies, eat, drink), but mostly we became proficient at speaking his martian speak...and he's such a laid back human being in general that it's rare that he is unable to get his needs met through some combo of his pidgin and gestures.  So, I know that when he says "ay ay, egazoris, blue, ne, yellow e" that he is saying that he is a blue, green and yellow stegosaurus and that he would like me to feed him some pretend leaves or that "offeee awk, ot chalik" is a request for hot chocolate at the coffee shop.   I'm hoping to someday chat with the donor sib families (TSBC so there is an in-house registry) to find out if any of the donor sibs have articulation disorders.  We are not registered yet on the contact list but will after the next kiddo is born.  

Lise--21 weeks!  Huzzah!  And, in answer to your question, DS starts toddler room, 2x a week for 3 hours each time (and then in a month he "graduates" to the preschool room), next week.  I do think it will help him put more energy into producing language that is more universally understood.  I also think that having him in the toddler room first (he's the oldest) will allow them to get used to how he speaks before he's in a room where the assumption will be that he is able to speak clearly (all the teacher's rotate, so they'll all meet him in the toddler context).  Then, when he turns 3 he'll have an additional day a week of preschool through the public school that is only for kids with speech delay.  

[pokeyAC]

seraf and lisedea-I work in investments in an office that serves very affluent clients.  Our dress code is business.  We are only allowed to wear jeans on special occasions.  It's pretty conservative.  I tend to go more toward business casual myself, but I don't see clients very often.  I have always thought it would be comfortable to wear a dress and leggings while pregnant.  I will have to try some on.  I have never worn a dress or skirt to work, and I don't wear them often normally, but this might be a good time to start.  I think part of the issue I'm having is that I feel uncomfortable being the center of attention, and I think that if I show up to work in a whole new wardrobe and with a belly poking out, people will notice.  I have only told my boss so far, and I will have to start telling other people in my office next week, and I'm nervous about it.  It's more of a mental health issue than a fashion issue.  I think once I start telling people, it will be a lot easier. 

[wishin'&hopin']

Pokey--Motherhood Maternity has some "slacks" as my mother would have called them that may work for you.  You could also try the Pea in a Pod line at motherhood maternity (looks like they have a pair of cuffed tweed trouser sort of pants that may work).  I had to wear "nice" pants when pregnant and found a pair of black pants that were dressy enough for my purposes at Motherhood (just try to ignore the fact that their pregnant pants models all are wearing heels...).   And...full belly panel is way comfier than below the belly IMO and I think the full belly panel pants tend to hang more professionally (maternity shirts will cover the top of the pants--so a maternity button down, an unbuttoned suit jacket over and a pair of slacks...)

[pokeyAC]

Thanks for the advice, wishin' and seraf and lisedea.  I just ordered a nice pair of black yoga pants online.  One reviewer said they were nice enough to wear to work.  We'll see.  I think they should cut me some slack while preggers.  I have lots of nice tops and a few sweaters.  I would like to get a couple more cardigans because my office gets cold sometimes.  I went to Macy's the other day and they have a section of clothes from Motherhood Maternity .  I used the gift cards I got for xmas. I got a nice pair of khaki pants.  They are too long so I'm going to wash them and then I might even hem them myself so I can wear them soon.  This weekend I will go to Kohl's and maybe Target and see what they have.

[starling&diesel]

Carmen!  Whoo hoo!  That's AWESOME news!

Carseats: Radian fans here.  Love them.

Strollers:  We have a MacLaren umbrella stroller that my mom uses, but DP and I carry H in a Kinderpack backcarry or have him walk.  At 15 months, he can walk at the same pace as our 4yo, and can go about ten city blocks before tiring (!!!).  One of the reasons that we don't like strollers is that by having them walk early and often, they are genuinely tired come bedtime and they sleep so well.  Both kids were early walkers.  DD uses her bike if we're going a distance, and I can scoop H up into the carrier if he tires.  

Steph ... Mama, you have my utmost sympathy.  I had very low supply with my first child, with the resulting pumping regime, herbs, meds, and at-the-breast supplementing with the LactAid.  It is such a surprise and so devastating to not be able to nourish your baby, when all the experts kept going on about how everyone can nurse their baby, and how everyone has enough milk, and how breastmilk is all you need.  Thanks to the milk bank here, we were able to keep our daughter on breastmilk for about six months, and the same with our second child.  I have more milk this time around, and would highly recommend nursing through any subsequent pregnancies as I am sure that's what boosted my supply ... not starting from scratch, so to speak.  My older one nursed throughout my second pregnancy.  If you ever want to commiserate, or chat, I'm here! 

[seraf]

Starling, wow! That's a lot of walking without tiring! Shay can make it to the park, about a quarter mile, before he becomes too distracted for me and stops to look at every single rock and blade of grass. He adores the stroller, to push Soren around. At home he only stops walking to nurse.

[esenbee2]

Lillie can't make it from the car to the house without bending forward and saying, "Caaarrry meaaaa!" in her most dramatic, exhausted voice!  Also, she can't pick up more than 3 toys without saying she is "Too tiiiirreddd!"  One time, it took 15 minutes for her to make it the 15 ft. from the car to the house.  I am not even exaggerating.

[planet]

Steph, your baby is adorable! I'm so sorry you have to deal with the low milk supply issue. It sounds like you are doing a great job figuring it out, and I'm sure it's been very challenging. Hugs to you!

Seraf, that is so sweet that Shay love to push soren around in the stroller!!! They seem to have so much fun together! We still haven't pulled out the co sleeper but are planning to soon. Thanks for the encouragement! I'll keep ya posted.

Carmen, so happy for your amazing news!

Thank you everyone for sharing your experiences and thoughts on sleep and naps. We are working on getting Wylie on more of a nap routine. Not a schedule, just a little more of a rhythm he can count on. We are working on laying him down to nap at least once a day, in his rock n play, about 2 hrs or so after morning wake up. It is pretty near impossible to rock this guy to sleep in his bed. He beds to be swaddled and walked/danced to sleep, then gently transferred. as he is now 15 lbs, it is getting to be a lot of work! And I am no body builder. So now I'm feeling a little sad and insecure that dp is more successful at laying him down these days than i have been. Seems like with me, he just wants to nurse to sleep, and gets annoyed when i try to move him! So if we areboth around, i nurse him to sleep, then dp picks him up and rocks him back to sleep and lays himdown.. Tips on easing out of a "sway you in my arms til you fall asleep" habit? Who ever knew sleep could be so complex????

[planet]

Also, about the strollers, we haven't used ours much because Wylie is not a fan! He is a very snuggly guy who prefers to be held close. We have been practicing more to help him get used to it. We have the snap n go stroller and we use the chicco keyfit 30 car seat with it. Don't have much to compare it with but it seems fine. It was cheap! But I find it to be a pain in the ass!!! I think we're gonna get a cheap, simple stroller that we can store in our apartment, and keep the snap n go in the car for those times when it might be useful (like when he falls asleep in the car, which is rare, because he hates the car seat too! Thankfully we don't drive that much!). The car seat is really heavy, in my opinion. Good luck finding the perfect one!

[maxK]

Wishin- Why do you have mixed feelings about preschool? I know my sister had a very hard time sending her son to preschool because she just wanted to stay home with him. I am also a big fan of sign language and intend to use it when baby comes along.

MidwifeSteph- How much Domperdine do you take and for how long? I have been taking it for 5 days (20mg 4 times a day) and I am not seeing much of a change yet but my doctor told me it could take up to 3 weeks to see the full results. I know for me I really have to increase my water intake to help it all out.

Seraf- I love greens. AND I have already located a second hand baby store near where we are going for the birth. I am hoping to find some excellent, fancy, but slightly used items there.

Desert- Who knew you were a photographer? Such a clever demo, I loved it. I think I’m too lazy to do pictures correctly. My saving grace is I’m a digital person so I can correct them after the photo.

Outdoorsy- DP and I have been having conflict about the baby’s name and about “partying” before the baby comes. I think it is a difficult time and stressful for everyone. I know for me going through my stuff can be emotional; this might be the case for your DP. Is there anyone who can help with these projects? Can you hire someone to help? Do you have any close friends who can help you with a little moving party?

PokeyAC- We are also doing gender neutral green for our baby room too. I also vote for wearing yoga pants to work with a nice shirt long shirt that covers your butt?

2 weeks away from EDD. The social worker is getting our entire paperwork ready and making sure everything is in order. Still need to move all my books out of the baby’s room. Enlisting friends to help me do it this weekend.

[planet]

Max, that is so exciting! So close! And so great that you've been getting milk already.

Pokey, maybe you've already tried this, but I rocked the "rubber band to make my pants fit longer" technique for quite some time. I found it quite useful, with a long shirt to cover the waistband. I also support the nice yoga pants! Go preggo fashion! :-)

[starling&diesel]

Max ... I was on 160mg (4 x 10mgs, 4 times a day).  Are you doing any of the Mother's Milk tea?  Oatmeal?  I also took three capsules of Fenugreek several times a day and Blessed Thistle tincture too.  

[maxK]

Starling- Yes I am taking a mother's milk blend tincture and tea (blessed thistle, fenugreek, and nettle herb) and a goat's rue tincture. I haven't started Oatmeal but I should, I heard that can help. Who prescribed you 40mg 4 times a day? My nurse/midwife told me only 20mg 4 times a day. He said I could take it for a maximum of 3 months. I think I will email my LC and see what her past patients have been on.

These are the only things I have in my baby room right now. Pictures of monsters we bought at the pumpkin festival from a local artist. I have a few necessary items we will bring with us to the hospital. I've started to pack my bag in case it comes early.

[esenbee2]

My wrap arrived today! Yay! DD was more than eager to try it out. She said she liked and that it was "even comfy!"
Here is a pic of me and my 28 lb. 4 year old

DSp was up for trying it out, but said he wouldn't actually go anywhere like that...

[seraf]

Outdoorsy, Sara said she would just rearrange while the partner is out of the house and oblivious. That's probably why she's with a not and smile partner.

Esenbee, she's a cutie. 28 pounds? Shay is 27.

Max, adorable pictures.

Planet, our boys nurse to sleep (usually in bed if we are home, it's the only time I get to sit down some days and I'm taking it) and if they stir when I lay them down, I kind of moan and lay on top of them. Like just and arm or leg thrown across and "mmmmmmm."

[seraf]

Thought for the day for all the pregnant ladies, lets talk about shoes!

We don't wear shoes in the house, so we always put our shoes on right by the door. I heavily favor slip ons. What about anyone else?

[planet]

Seraf, what if a non nursing person is taking care of them, what do they do? I'm trying to support my mom, who will be babysitting Wylie one day a week staying in February. There's no way she can hold and bounce him for 20+ mins to help him fall asleep. I have the magical power of nursing, but none of his other caregivers do.

[carmen358]

max, wow, it's getting close now! How exciting :)

seraf, my feet were so swollen by the end of my pregnancy with DD that I wore Keen's (very wide) every day unlaced. Not very professional looking at work but it was comfy. I pretty much wear my blundstones all winter.

planet, I'm assuming she's physically not able to bounce him? What about sitting down and rocking him? I bet she'll find her own way that will work.