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Queer, Pregnant, and Parenting! November, December, and January 2013!!! - Page 28

post #541 of 912
1/8/13 at 9:33am

Seraf, if you and Sara feel comfortable sharing more details about becoming a bone marrow donor, I for one would be very interested! 

 

My spouse is a much better cook than I am; and while neither of us are exactly "handy", I do many of the tasks with electric screwdrivers and such.  (I was *so* grateful to the person who gave A a push walker which required a master's in engineering to assemble...) 

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post #542 of 912
1/8/13 at 9:40am
Cross posting all over the place, GGNJ, I don't ever buy new clothes to know! Our boys are both comfortable in the full color spectrum (Soren is wearing a brown shirt covered in hearts today, someone said something and I said "boys and girls both have hearts").
post #543 of 912
1/8/13 at 9:58am
GGNJ, she signed up when she was in Israel, I guess it's really hard for Jews to get matches or something. Gift of life foundation is the name of the group. I see signs up on campus all the time that ask "Got swabbed?" Sara said she thinks you can even contact them for a kit through the mail.
post #544 of 912
1/8/13 at 10:24am

glassesgirl--I think those issues matter with any family configuration.  We are happy because we are a mix of complementary traits.  I'm carrying the baby and I kill the spiders.  My wife does all the cooking and looks forward to playing catch with our child.  We are who we are.  There was a study a couple years ago that looked at lesbian parents.  The kids turned out just fine and one of the only differences they could find from kids raised by male/female couples was that the kids were more likely to go into careers that were not stereotypical for their sex. 

post #545 of 912
1/8/13 at 10:53am
I hope Sara's surgery goes well! What a great gift for someone smile.gif

Cananny, I also have terrible anxiety around surgery and specifically c-sections. We did birthing from within prenatal classes with DD and there was actually a whole part focused on c-section births...perhaps you could read the book? I know it put my mind more at ease when imagining that I could end up with one...which I didn't but it was nice to have addressed that possibility.

Afm: 10 weeks tomorrow! Double digits! The nausea is mostly in the evenings now or if I eat too much. My anxiety level goes from almost zero to full on fast beating heart, etc. but mostly I'm so busy that I don't have time to think too much! It's 10 weeks has actually flown by and I'm grateful for that. I didn't feel movement until about 16 weeks with DD - is it true you feel movement earlier with subsequent babes? The RE said it looks like my placenta is anterior though which I've heard can make movement harder to feel too? It was posterior with DD.
post #546 of 912
1/8/13 at 11:09am

Seraf, I don't buy many new clothes for A either!  Most of her day-to-day stuff comes in big lots from Craigslist, Ebay, Goodwill or the local consignment shops.  (I admit to a weakness for special holiday outfits, but even there I will try to use Zuliliy, or find an Etsy seller who's having a sale, or something.)

 

Thanks for the bone marrow donating information.  I don't suppose there's a special need for "Catholic American Mutt" donors...

 

Pokey, I think you're right that all family configurations have to think about gender stuff.  In this case, I was seeing quotes like (I had to check the UA to make sure we can quote from one thread to another orngbiggrin.gif ):

"The feeding bond is the strongest care-giving bond. That's why fathers, grandparents, and other people envy it. And Nature *means* for it to be the strongest care-giving bond. And Nature means for it to the the bond that the MOTHER shares with the child."

"Dads have their own unique bond, being generally stronger. They are the defenders and the roughhousers and usually the one to encourage a timid child to take a risk with his supervision."

"The father-child bond doesn't even come close to being as strong as the mother-child bond. And Nature designed it that way."

 

...all of which feels pretty goofy, and even hurtful, to genderqueer families like mine (where the primary caregiver might identify as "mother" one day and "father" the next).  Does that make any sense?

post #547 of 912
1/8/13 at 11:10am

Oh, and Carmen, congrats on 10 weeks and I will keep sending positive thoughts toward you!!

post #548 of 912
1/8/13 at 11:23am
Seraf, we are in Seattle. our neighborhood is called Capitol hill. I wish we could do a visit! What fun that would be. Give my love to Sara! What an important thing she is doing. Brave!
post #549 of 912
1/8/13 at 11:24am
Hi All,

I'm jumping back in after a long time of not posting. Our little guy is 14 months old now, hilarious and wonderful (although not much of a sleeper).

First: Congratulations to Carmen and Max on your expected babies! I am so, so happy for both of you. I know what a challenge it was to get to this point. Hooray!!!!!

Cananny: I agree with the other folks who said that that wonderful thing about c-sections being so common is that doctors have lots and lots of practice with them and are very good at doing them. I had a different experience than you'll have (emergency cesarean after long labor), but I found the surgery itself to be totally painless and much less scary than I would have imagined. The first few days of recovery were harder for me, but it seems like most people feel better very quickly. I did notice on amazon that there are a number of books about planning for a c-section. I don't know if they would be interesting to you. Good luck!

Isa: At 14 months our little guy can now play independently for long periods of time. Maybe your little one will be able to soon too!

Hi to everyone else!
post #550 of 912
1/8/13 at 11:30am
Carmen. Woo hoo!

GGNJ, lol, I think capitalizing nature was enough for me. I don't get into religious arguments and that person is making one. I'm sure if there's a person out there who needs Catholic American Mutt, they'd be really happy if you signed up. If you ever feel like talking about something that's none of my business, did the police come to give you a ride? Or did they expect non-compliance?
post #551 of 912
1/8/13 at 11:33am
Planet, drat!

Escher, welcome back!
post #552 of 912
1/8/13 at 11:43am

Seraf, I don't mind talking about it... The police came by to do a "welfare check". 

 

My phone was on the charger when my ped called with the test results - she tried twice in 20 minutes and then immediately sent the cops to our house.  Seriously!  (Needless to say, I've since changed pediatricians, and I've made sure that our new ped has my cell number, my spouse's cell, my mom's landline as a backup, etc etc.)

 

When the cops found out I hadn't been cleared for driving yet (four days postpartum), they called the volunteer first aid squad to give us a ride to the hospital.

post #553 of 912
1/8/13 at 11:45am

Oh, and I forgot to mention that my old ped's phone comes up as "Private Number", and she didn't leave a callback number either of the times she called me...

 

Edited to clarify: this was the original pediatrician I'm talking about, not our new one (who rocks the house).

post #554 of 912
1/8/13 at 11:46am

That's cool that Sara is donating marrow.  They actually do need mutts to register because it's harder to find marrow for mixed-race folks, although Catholic mutt may not be the kind they are looking for.

ggng--That does sound aggravating.  I'm sure there are plenty of "mothers" out there who aren't very bonded with their children and plenty of children who have stronger bonds with their "fathers."  As queer folks where there is often a gestational parent and a non-gestational parent, we have to deal with these things all the time.  No one wants to be judged as a parent who is less than.  I think that anyone who feeds a child can develop a strong bond.  A parent can give a baby a bottle of breastmilk and that bond is cemented when that babe stares up into your eyes.  If I were a man reading that conversation, I might be offended as well.  There used to be a McDonald's commercial where it was Dad's night with the kids and he took them out for Happy Meals, so I must assume that he is too stupid to fix dinner for his own children.  That always bugged me.  Anyway, I think I am rambling now.

post #555 of 912
1/8/13 at 11:58am
GGNJ, that sounds pretty freaky.

Pokey, I think I said it up thread, I've bonded with plenty of people I've never fed. I do nurse Soren, but I'm a very rough and tumble parent and the potty parent. Soren occasionally asks to nurse with me instead of Sara but I get a lot of the smiles and adoration related to other areas of his life.
post #556 of 912
1/8/13 at 4:16pm
Hi Escher!

Birthmother just texted me to say her water broke then 15 minutes later she said she doesn't know if it did or not. She's going to the hospital to have it checked out. We are on pins and needles here packing just in case we have to take off tonight. Can pregnant women just pee on themselves and think it's the water?
post #557 of 912
1/8/13 at 4:42pm
We just had our ultrasound. Twins!! I want to do some crazy emoticons but I'm on my cell phone. Holy mackerel. I'm glad to have so much company of queer multiples mamas.
post #558 of 912
1/8/13 at 5:01pm
Mrs... Omg ong what is in the water on mdc? Two sets of triplets and two sets if twins in the last 7 months!!!!!!!!!

I know that you guys must be over the moon!!!!!! Congrats you worked so joy.gif hard for this:) joy.gif:joy:joy
post #559 of 912
1/8/13 at 5:01pm
Max!!!!! The pressure of the baby moving down can increase cervical secretions and quite a bit of liquid will come out that's not amniotic. My first was born within 24 hours of this.

Mrsandmrs and Bigfoot, yay!!!!!!!! Congratulations!
post #560 of 912
1/8/13 at 5:25pm

cananny - i know, right?? we are cumulatively going to take over the world pretty soon. 

 

seraf - thanks. we are pretty stoked. 

 

max -- i just saw your post! what an exciting time for you! good luck with the birth! 

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