Queer, Pregnant, and Parenting! November, December, and January 2013!!! - Page 31

[carmen358]

escher, we won't tell the wider world until about 13 weeks. Neither of us is a "we have a big announcement" type of person so we'll tell our close friends and family individually and let it spread organically. And of course FB is good for spreading news

The doulas around here do 2 home visits prior to labour.

[esenbee2]

Pokey -that's a good thought!

Through everyone's weigh in, along with a google search that came to the same consensus, I think I have decided to not do the whole Bradley thing again.  DSp will be SO relieved!  He did NOT want to sit through 12 weeks of classes again!.  It is a common joke in our house about our "10 Mondays"...  (We missed the first 2 weeks.)  I really liked Pokey's idea of a doula that does refresher courses too.  The search is on!  I feel like I have done nothing but search!  Yesterday was all about finding a new OB!  I had picked one out last year, but the only OB that I could find that had relatively the same ideas was one of the only practices in the area that did VBACs.  I didn't have a cesarean, but it was the most friendly toward the natural side of labor that I had found.  I have had two annuals with one of the OB's and she was nice enough but not terribly warm and friendly and I got to thinking that I just didn't think we could develop a good enough respect for the birth to go how I envision it.  SO I finally found a new-to-the-area midwife (CNW, the only kind that I can have attend my birth legally in Kentucky).  She just started accepting patients December 3rd!  I am so excited to have found her!  In Louisville, my only options are a home birth or a hospital birth.  Home birth makes DSp nervous and our home is not really an ideal place to deliver, so hospital it is.  With the new midwife, delivery will be at a different hospital too, so that's a plus!

[outdoorsy]

Hi - glad to hear folks are doing well. Someone asked about the DNA test I'm getting, and I forgot to answer.... it's the Harmony test, which picks up fetal DNA in the mom's blood. It tests for Down's and two other things.

[seraf]

Originally Posted by Cananny 

Was the 3rd trimester hard for everyone? Ive read it can be the most emotional time.. I go from being seething mad at DP for saying something I didnt like.. to very chill and relaxed..The last 2 days were awful....and today I am feeling a bit like myself.. These up and down hormones are crazy...I am happy i only have 7 weeks of the 3rd trimester.. 

I think I mentioned our new friends who just had triplets ( GGB) a week ago.. they carried to 33 weeks and the 2 girls are already in an open air crib.. it makes us so hopeful our boys will do that well! 

I think your third trimester would be three times harder than mine was! You are already grown past the size of a singleton pregnancy, right? The emotions are the pits.

I'm glad your baby friends are doing well.

Originally Posted by escher 

Seraf: With two babies (or is it one baby and one toddler?), I'm impressed that you're still a foodie even in your head! I LOVE Ethiopian food, but the few times I have made it I found it to be quite time consuming. Do you have easy recipes or do you just accept that it takes a while? Can you buy injera around there?

I just posted over in QC that we're now waiting to O. I kind of can't believe that we're back in this process. We definitely want another child, but having to deal with TTC again seems like a nightmare. Hopefully it won't be too bad this time. We're switching uteri (from me to my wife). Any tips from other people who have done the uterus switch?

I'm faking the injera, I just looked on you tube and the longest video was about 8 minutes, so it must be pretty quick! ;-) I think making several dishes takes time but the fake injera is about as fast as pancakes. The cabbage dish is just a bunch of chopping, spicing, sautéing and then simmering. That's kind of like a lot of the meals I make, so I might have low expectations.

I read your post in the gee golly thread and all the preventative stuff made me go, man, she had a hard pregnancy. Sara's and my pregnancies were worlds apart. I'm very hopeful that your DW has an easier time than you (or Sara). In our family, the first trimester prego couldn't cook and exhaustion on the prego's part led to a lot more housekeeping and childcare duties for the other and some of our normal chores were mixed up for a long time. Also, living with an unpredictably emotional person was a challenge for both of us. In some ways it was easier for me to give birth than watch Sara labor.

Originally Posted by planet 

Thank you for asking how it went with my mom!  My DP is amazingly patient and ended up having a pretty decent day with my mom! 

Yay!

Originally Posted by carmen358 

escher, we won't tell the wider world until about 13 weeks. Neither of us is a "we have a big announcement" type of person so we'll tell our close friends and family individually and let it spread organically. And of course FB is good for spreading news

The doulas around here do 2 home visits prior to labour.

We only told our parents and word spread.

Originally Posted by esenbee2 

In Louisville, my only options are a home birth or a hospital birth.  Home birth makes DSp nervous and our home is not really an ideal place to deliver, so hospital it is.  With the new midwife, delivery will be at a different hospital too, so that's a plus!

What makes your home less ideal? Yay for a good midwife.

[esenbee2]

Seraf -well, I'm sure if I put some cleaning power into it, I could get it ready for a home birth, but I just despise the house. We have seriously outgrown it and it gets so cluttered, so quickly, that I feel yucky almost every day coming home :/ We seriously need a new place. So not that it wouldn't work, I just do not have an attachment to the place. And put that with DSp feeling uneasy about it not being a hospital, I would just rather prepare the best I can for a hospital. I am crossing the river and getting away from the highest C-Section rate in the country, into Indiana, where they have a really natural friendly hospital and another hospital where they have invested a lot into natural friendly accommodations in order to compete with the other hospital. I am not happy about an Indiana birth, just cause I'm not from there, but it will be best for baby!

[seraf]

Esenbee, I get you. I'm not going to claim my house was sparkling clean for any of my births, but nesting in the end helps a little. Clutter is a beast. Our house seems big but we still fight clutter. How far are you from the Indiana hospital?

[esenbee2]

All the area labor & delivery hospitals are 20 - 25 minutes from our house.  So, no biggie.

[carmen358]

Our doula was moving furniture and putting away groceries at our home birth lol My water broke with no warning 4 days before my EDD and I went into labour later that day. We assumed I would be overdue even though my doula guessed I'd go early....she was right.

We have a very cluttered place - quite different from when I lived alone. But we all love our home so it's easier to overlook it ;) 

[esenbee2]

carmen -have you told DD about her being a big sis?  Been preparing her for the possibility?  We started last year when we were trying.  She was cool with it.  But now, she HATES the idea.  We visited with an out of town friend who came home for a visit.  She has an almost 2 year old and Lillie was trying to talk to her and play with her at dinner.  She got so mad when the little girl didn't talk to her and when she was messy with eating her food.  She said some AWFULLY mean things.  I was mortified! So now, she is protesting having a baby sleep in her room and absolutely "does NOT want a baby slobbering on her toys!"  How is your DD taking it?

[carmen358]

Originally Posted by esenbee2 

carmen -have you told DD about her being a big sis?  Been preparing her for the possibility?  We started last year when we were trying.  She was cool with it.  But now, she HATES the idea.  We visited with an out of town friend who came home for a visit.  She has an almost 2 year old and Lillie was trying to talk to her and play with her at dinner.  She got so mad when the little girl didn't talk to her and when she was messy with eating her food.  She said some AWFULLY mean things.  I was mortified! So now, she is protesting having a baby sleep in her room and absolutely "does NOT want a baby slobbering on her toys!"  How is your DD taking it?

We haven't told her. She really takes on others' emotions and if we have another loss I don't want her to have to worry about anything. We were hoping to wait until after the first trimester screening just before 13 weeks but we may have to bring her to the scan now so I feel like we'll have to explain what's going on. We decided to mention the idea and see what she thought.....in the context of another conversation I asked what she would think of having a baby brother or sister. She literally cheered lol I said that maybe one day that could happen. This morning she told me she'd like a baby brother and a baby sister or a big brother and a baby sister. Of course, I would imagine if baby actually comes it won't be all love and rainbows

[seraf]

Esenbee, that's not a bad drive. How old is your DD? My older kids expected Shay to be born a toddler. They were quite disappointed when I was hugely pregnant and pointing out babies under 3 months. They wanted an instant playmate (and just a couple of months ago it was all, "Soren is boring, he doesn't Do anything"). They adore the babies now, but they kind of had a 2 minute attention span for them in the beginning. O barely noticed A when she was little 2.5 years apart). He noticed her around the time she started tacking him (6 months?). I remember being very grateful that she slept so much because she blended into our life quite seamlessly except in the evening.

Carmen, love and rainbows. Lol. It's been more love and rainbows than storm clouds. I hope it is for you, too.

[esenbee2]

DD is 4 yrs. 4 months.

[maxK]

Still no word of labor. Pumping more and I increased my medicine just a little bit and I've been getting larger drops now so that's exciting.

[cordelia15]

cananny. . . sending good energy around the c-section, it's always a little nerve wracking but hope it goes smoothly.  And I def had 3rd trimester anxiety, and mood swings too.  I almost punched a man on the street once who said something rude to me.  (I still maintain he deserved it though :) )   Just personally the worst part of the c-section for me was having no idea it was coming, I think in some ways knowing ahead of time makes it so much easier.  

seraf. . I agree, that is amazing about the bone marrow, good luck to sara on that one! 

glassesgirl, yup, I know what you mean about the annoying expectations.  My DH (is trans) and is not out at work and he had said how he doesn't like to stay late bc he wants to be home for his son and to give me a break and someone said, "she really has you whipped, huh?" which made us so insanely mad.  First, the expectation that dads don't "do" child care in the same way or even possible WANT to see their kids before bedtime.  Some of our household chores do end up getting oddly "gender-typed" but often bc of interest and when we have free time than anything else.  But any type of EXPECTATIOn that people clean the house or do the dishes bc they are the M/F is insane to me at this stage of the game!  (as a side not, I was also part of Free To Be gen but we laugh/change the words when we hear the part about "every boy in this land grows to be his own man, every girl . . to be her own woman "  

carmen. . CONGRATS on the 10 weeks!  

mrsandmrs.. congrats on the twins!  

max. .  I do think other stuff can come out, for me when my water broke is was DEF unmistakable but I had really high fluid levels.. hope it comes SOON! 

bigfoot. . congrats on the twins too! 

essenbee!  YAY so happy for you and welcome to this side!  

planet.. glad things went well with your mom, it sound promising for sure! 

outdoorsy .  .good luck with the Harmony, I did the other version of that, the materniT21. . 

Okay. . sorry if I missed anyone else, I keep reading and wanting to comment and connect and am just so overwhelmed in general. . at 18 weeks tomorrow, still feeling tired and mildly sick though I did finally make it back to the gym so I am hoping that has a positive effect on me and life in general. . I miss being active though I guess I walk at least an hour a day since I am in the city and it's the only way to get around (well that makes sense for me)  Excited to hit the 1/2 mark and for my anatomy scan at the end of the month to see our little girl again.  Oh and anyone have a prenatal they love?  I just switched to this one that I think is healthier but I'm not convinced it's not making me more nauseous.  Preferably something on the milder side? 

[esenbee2]

cordelia -I had an amazing prenatal vit that didn't make me sick at all when I was pregnant with DD. It tasted like chocolate before you swallowed it!. I can't remember the name, but I am going to call my old OB and ask them because they are the ones who prescribesd it to me. When starting TTC, I went with Centrum prenatal with DHA supplement. That gave me EXTREME nausea. Right now I'm taking Nature Made's prenatal until I can find out that tastey one I had with DD!

[carmen358]

I've always taken sisu multi expecting. I take one twice a day, with food. It's never made me sick (other than the nausea that comes with early pregnancy anyway). I also take nordic naturals prenatal DHA - twice a day as well.

[seraf]

I took gummy prenatals. I'm just cool like that. I had a hard time swallowing pills for years after my first pregnancy when I started on some 6 a day, whole food, horse pills.

Last night as I got the boys out of the car, I was thinking "we have a 2 door car, the buckets would be awful to get in and out." And I FELL out the door with both boys. Fortunately Soren was in the sling and Shay was laying across both arms. I lost a layer of skin on both knees and the wrist holding Shay's knees. Shay's diaper contacted the ground but they were both ok.

To make the night even worse, Soren had a fever and cloudy urine. I'm trying to get a clean catch while I wait for the doctor's office to open.

[esenbee2]

cordelia -I did some internet research and found the name of the prenatal vits I used. They are called Prenate. They have a cartoony picture of a pregnant woman on the box.

[prettyisa]

Seraf! I hope he's ok--and that you are! I fell down the last step onto our concrete basement last weekend while dragging a bunch of junk to the basement and was amazed by how much it hurt! fwiw, bucket seats are great in some ways, but hard in others--DP has to climb halfway into the van to put EJ in her seat because she can't reach from the ground, so she's always in danger of falling out that way, too.

[seraf]

Ida, ouch to you too. I feel so whiny because I always had scratches on my knees as a kid and now I'm all, "Ooo, it's pinchy when I sit/stand/walk." About the seats, I was thinking, of course it wouldn't make sense to take a baby in and out of the car strapped into a seat that has to be turned sideways and passed long ways in front of my body. Lol.

Sara is taking him to urgent care. His fever is down but he didn't pee for at least 2 hours after he got up so I didn't get a sample. Sara's worried they will want to cath or circ him so she's a little anxious.