Queer, Pregnant, and Parenting! November, December, and January 2013!!! - Page 5

[seraf]

Welcome to Lea and Jenn!

Jenn, I remember this time last year, I'm so glad you're expecting again. I like your oldest's long hair.

Speaking of hair, I'm trying to decide if I want to let mine grow or cut it.

Here's a bad picture of me (sun in my eyes). At the very least, I'm going to wait until after thanksgiving to cut it, but if anyone has ideas, I'd love to hear them.


And here's my Osha with his super long hair (he can't brush it until it dries, so it looks nicer usually).


Ari in the mirror.


The boys at dinner. We had company so we had to fit 7 at the table. They don't usually sit so close together. Soren managed to snag some pasta and garlic bread to go with his spaghetti squash.

[esenbee2]

Hello everyone!  It's been quite some time since I've been on the mothering boards.  Life gets crazy like that!  We were TTC last year in Dec, Jan, Feb, and March, but never got a BFP :(  We took a (long) break and are going to start trying in December and January at home and March with a medicated IUI, and then I don't know what!

As for how our break went, I graduated with my Bachelor's in May and got a full time job (which I absolutely LOVE!) instead of a 20 hr/week job making squat.  So we are a LOT less financially stressed!  It has made DSp and I's relationship a lot closer with a lot less fights!

I'll share the answers to our family questionaire:

Name/Username?  Suzette (esenbee2)

Who is in your family?  Me (26 -almost!)  DSp (28)  DD (4!)

What pronouns do you and your family members use?  Me -She, DSp -He (FTM), DD -She

If you're pregnant, when are you due? TTC!

If you already have kids, tell us two interesting things about each of them.  What is NOT interesting about her???  Hmm, 2 things...  She is a very excellent and creative song maker-upper.  She will create the cleverest rhymes and her wording of what she wants to say is so soulful.  Also, she has a VERY great memory, starting from as long as she has been able to talk.  It amazes me about the detail she can remember from 2 and even 3 years ago (she's only 4!) about stuff we don't even still talk about.  She will just randomly start talking about it, and then it clicks for us, "Oh my goodness, she's right, that DID happen!"

If you work outside the home (or inside the home at something other than parenting), what do you do?  I work at an Outdoor Furniture Manufacturer company in customer service.  I am hoping to start on writing my fiction novels on a regular basis.

If you stay home with your kids, what do your days tend to look like?  I dream of going to Mommy and Me activities, library story time, the park...  I would love to stay home full time!

What are your favorite things to do when you're not working/doing the grunt work of parenting?  My favorite thing to do when not working or parenting or cleaning the house is to SLEEP.

It's so great to be back around!  And I am so excited to see so many of the gals pregnant that were TTC the same time I was  (TRIPLETS even!  lisdea and Cananny!  We want triplets so badly...)

[lisedea]

Seriously esenbee? You want triplets really badly? Haha, I have NEVER heard anyone on this board say that! I must admit, when I first had the feeling that I was having more than one I kept thinking: please no triplets, please no triplets--but now that we are this far in, I guess I can't imagine anything else. Nice to see you back!

Welcome Jenn and Lea!

[Tourneymama]

Thank you so much Seraf!! It's nice that you remember me & last year! I am so glad that we are expecting again also :)

As for your hair...I love it! I wish I could pull off short hair, but I just can't :( It is so easy to manage, vs long hair, ugh....I love love love your sons hair, wow! His is almost, or as long as Erik's,, lol

Your babies are all so adorable.

Lisedea, thank you!! :)

[seraf]

Lise, way back in the day, I was on a queer email group with a woman who had triplets. She nursed them all even. They were teens by the time I knew her. She said that whenever she thought about possibly getting pregnant again, she would only do it if she knew she would get multiples again. She especially loved how they always had each other. That tells me that even if the beginning is hard, it all evens out eventually.

[easttowest]

Ok, here's something that might be a fun question.  Holiday gifts for pregnant ladies. My wife's birthday was last week, and I didn't get her anything, so I need to get going on the winter holidays.  She'll be 14 weeks pregnant by Christmas.  Being pregnant is not that only thing about her, but it is a new thing, and I'd love a gift that would make her pregnancy easier/more pleasant.  What did you want at 14ish weeks?

We already got tickets to the Nutcracker, which she really wanted to go to, so I suppose that could count, but I want something she can open on Christmas Eve.  She reads these boards, so it won't be a surprise, but I thought it would be an interesting conversation to get going!

[seraf]

Originally Posted by easttowest 
 What did you want at 14ish weeks?

Sleep or sex, neither of which is openable.

[pokeyAC]

Originally Posted by seraf 

Sleep or sex, neither of which is openable.

Those both sound great!    

I was thinking that later I would enjoy spending a night in a hotel with a king-sized bed so that we would both have plenty of room to stretch out and sleep.  We love the Galleria Park Hotel in the city.  A prenatal massage would also be lovely.

[Cananny]

Welcome Jen and lea... And welcome back esenbee...
I'm with Lise... I would've never wished for triplets but now at almost 20 weeks and they have names I could not imagine anything else!!! Best if luck TTC # 2
Seraf ... Love the pics as far as hair I wear mine super short and a fohawk/Mohawk it's easy!

Pokey glad your trip was fun:)

Hello everyone else

Afm ... 20 weeks on Saturday... Seems like a huge milestone ... I'm not sleeping at all the last few nights I'm finding it really hard to find a comfy spot .. My preg pillow is not even helping:/ I'm starting to feel the boys a bit more and anticipate its gonna increase over next few weeks ... It's exciting

So I have to tell my new bosses I'm preg though I'm pretty sure she can tell I try to hide with baggy jackets but I def am walking like a preg woman ! I had planned to tell them at 12 weeks but then decided to wait because we needed that income and was afraid she would b mad and let me go early ... I'm coming upon bed rest time frame so I have to tell her next week ... I don't even know what to say:( they r the nicest people and I like working for them I hope they don't think I've deceived them ... When I took job I wasn't pg yet but when I started I was and two weeks later found it was triplets.... Sorry to ramble I just hate the idea of having to quit :/

[esenbee2]

Lisedea, Cananny, when I was younger (high school) I always thought it would be cool to have quadruplet boys and 1 singleton girl...  Now, I realize that would be quite overwhelming, so triplets would be more manageable.  When, DSp and I were dating, it seemed like we had the same ideas on family (like no playing Santa Claus, a max of 4 kids, and wanting a multiple birth).  It was pretty strange that we agreed on those because we had both thought that we were the only ones in the world that felt that way :)  Back when we first starting looking into how to have more kids, we really wanted to do Reciprocal IVF and try for triplets, but the cost ($8,000 -  $12,000 say what?!)  got in the way and had to settle for frozen donor sperm to resemble DSp instead of using DSp's eggs.  Before coming back to the boards, I was looking into doing at-home medicated cycles that would improve the chances of triplets, but it seems as if that is going to be a little more than what we can do right now too ($1300 for a Follistim pen? and $450 for Ovidrel?) so we're just gonna have do it 1 at at time :/

[cordelia15]

I have to say the idea of triplets terrifies me but I do think the togetherness aspect must be amazing!

Easttowest ha! We really do have parallel lives, my birthday was last week too! Happy birthday to your wife. She probably won't be ready for maternity clothes yet but a really nice dress could be nice, or sweater, or whatever she likes. Prenatal massage is also great. Or if she would be into it a gift certificate for a maternity shoot, though again not so great at 14 weeks for a now present.

Welcome or welcome back to Jen and lea and essenbee!

No real updates here, next dr. Appt after thanksgiving and our first tri screen set for dec 2nd but in the meantime just hoping everything is good in there!

[wishin'&hopin']

Welcome to Jen, Lea and Essenbee!!!!  

NO desire for multiples of any order here...I worked in a NICU and whilst many multiples are just fine (and I hope fine, dandy, big ol' healthy kiddos arrive well baked for Lise and Cannany and Knittin'Tigers--fingers crossed, prayers said for all!) I think the risks and difficulties are not what I would want for my family.  Sure, if we had twins or triplets we'd somehow wrap our heads around it and rejoice in all of our children--at the same time it's never something I would hope or try for.  

Seraf, I keep trying to grow my hair out and then I lop it all off again in pretty short order (very short pixie really).  When it's longer I fuss with it too much and it just annoys me.  

Cannany--I can't believe you're almost at 20 weeks!  And, what a dilemma with your job--could you just explain the timing of events so they understand that when you applied you weren't pregnant (and certainly had no idea you would have triplets!)

Lise--how are things going with travelling for ob appointments?

Nothing really to report here...DW is 14 weeks and 2 days.  She's feeling better and started being interested in eating again (and constantly really!).  DS (2.5) is struggling with an articulation disorder and we just found out that our insurance won't cover articulation disorders at all AND the speech language pathologist was pretty sure he won't qualify for early intervention.  (He speaks...he's just REALLY hard to understand--unintelligible to strangers and about 20-30% intelligible to us)  So, she gave us a bunch of resources to work on at home since 200-300 dollar per session speech therapy is just not going to happen (the speech pathologist wanted weekly sessions...twice a week if possible).  He will speak clearly...it's just going to take time and WORK.  Gotta go, he's crying upstairs and calling for me.

[seraf]

East, chocolate. Sleep, sex and chocolate were things I wanted at 14 weeks.

Wishin, for real? He doesn't qualify? I don't know about where you live, but here children with communication delays start (public) preschool as soon as they're diagnosed (2 or 3, usually) and all their therapy is coordinated through the school. Even our tiny school has a special needs preschool. Perhaps there's a half day program so you can at least get his therapy? I encourage you to look into this option if he doesn't qualify for help any other way.

Soren has been getting more into food and, um, he forgot to poop if out. Until 2 days ago he was a 3 times a day pooper but nothing for 2 days now. He is understandably cranky.

[seraf]

Essnbee, I forgot to ask, what does DSp mean? I tried google but I got computer talk. I tried Wikipedia and stopped when I hit diarrheal shellfish poisoning. Give me a hint on the s? Is it your DPs initial or a word?

[CascadiaMama]

I second the prenatal massage idea for a gift - if she doesn't want to use it now, she'll love regular massages in the last few months. I'd also suggest really comfy but nice pajamas. I happened to get a pair around the end of the first trimester that weren't maternity, but they were a super-soft and stretchy jersey fabric, so they accommodated the belly nicely (and hid the postpartum belly, too!).

Maybe a spa pedicure? Somewhere nice that doesn't reek of nail polish chemicals. Won't be long before she can't comfortably reach her own feet

(PS: Changed my username to be a bit more anonymous... theoretically I'll lurk less and post more!)

[esenbee2]

Seraf, I made up the DSp, for Dear Spouse. DS is already known as Dear Son. We use male pronouns for him, but he isn't out to anyone and doesn't plan on being anytime in the foreseeable future, so it's more like he's gender queer. I use the term spouse a lot when I refer to him to other people because he doesn't like me to call him my husband because he doesn't want to call attention or have conversations start and questions asked about him. I feel weird using wife because he isn't my wife, so spouse just became the easiest. He is still daddy to DD though, and everyone goes along with it fine. It was easier to explain, as a "we wanted to less complicate things for DD, our roles pretty much mirror a "traditional" (whatever the heck that is) mother and father, so we wanted her to be less confused in her interactions with other kids..." kind of thing.

[prettyisa]

Hi everyone!

Welcome to the new folks!

Just a drive-by, but Easttowest, I totally second the call on comfy pjs--my favorites were the really soft knit ones from target. They were great all through the pregnancy, and still looked good enough to greet guests in when the baby was new and I couldn't be bothered to put on real clothes. That, and some awesome slippers would probably do it.

[maxK]

Hi everyone! I was in the forum Queer Conceptions a while back. I had been unsuccessful trying to conceive for a while before we stopped and decided to move on to adoption. We chose an open adoption agency where the birth parents select you and you can maintain contact with them in the future. Our adoption profile just went live this past July and we have been talking to a young couple who want us to be the adoptive parents. We are so excited. Here is some information about us:

Birth Due Date: January 19, 2013
Who we are: me (40) female pronoun DP (35) FTM male pronoun
Hobbies: Traveling, crocheting, painting
Goal: Get back into yoga

Fun Fact: When we told our potential birth parents over a Skype call that DP is transgendered, they said "wow, that's interesting". We meet with them in person this weekend. After meeting with them over lunch, they want us to meet 16 of their closest friends and family.

[prettyisa]

Max! So glad to see you back here--and to hear that you've got a potential birth family! When is the baby due?

[lisedea]

Max--So happy to see you here and SO excited about your potential birth parents! Yea!