November Chat Thread - Page 7 « Back to Group Discussions

[Greenlea]

Originally Posted by Munchkin08 

Question: is it okay to sleep on my back? I think I read somewhere that we should not sleep on our backs when pregnant but I wasn't sure when that is true. I find myself waking up on my back on occasion and just wanted to check in with you.

You shouldn't after a certain week but I can't remember which week. Just go by what your body is telling you. Like I can't sleep on my back right now at 16 weeks because I get nauseous and a headache. But I do wake up on my back sometimes which is okay, you can't help how you move while sleeping. I also can't sleep in my right side because I get super nauseous. So yeah, only sleeping on my left side is getting super annoying.

My mom went ahead and booked a big family photo shoot for Feb. I'm kind of mad because a) I don't want to be huge and pregnant in a photo shoot (I'll be 7 mths) and b) why can't she just wait the 2 mths and have the baby be born and in the photo shoot with us? 

[1babysmom]

I'm another who has never worried about back sleeping because my body has always made it clear if I need to move...I just get uncomfortable.  It's too hard- next to impossible- to completely avoid ever ending up on my back while I sleep, so stressing over it would do no good.

I still sleep on my stomach at times, though, but my chiro told me that at a conference with Dr. Webster (Webster chiropractic technique), they said a woman should avoid sleeping on her stomach almost from conception.  Sheesh!  Quite frankly though, I sleep how I'm comfortable.  There are so few options anymore and I'm pretty intuitive, that I figure if my body feels good a certain way, I'm doing it.

[MaineCoastMama]

How have you guys all handled "who's allowed in during labor and delivery"? 

I have a very involved family, but am also a very private person, and at that time I think I will be best able to focus on my work if it's just me, my husband and the nurses/midwife. I'm nervous about conveying this to my family without seeming like I don't want them around.

I'm even nervous about having visitors right after. I'd love time to just get settled into my mom-ness before the passing around and advice starts! (Even though I'm sure there will also be some sweet help that comes with it, and I *do* want family to get to say hello. I just value the first bonding time, too.) If I could have a 3-5 days at home with "just us" before visitors, I think I'd be in heaven. But, I don't think that will happen. 

I'm wondering what other people have done!

[BeanBean06]

Originally Posted by MaineCoastMama 

How have you guys all handled "who's allowed in during labor and delivery"? 

I have a very involved family, but am also a very private person, and at that time I think I will be best able to focus on my work if it's just me, my husband and the nurses/midwife. I'm nervous about conveying this to my family without seeming like I don't want them around.

I'm even nervous about having visitors right after. I'd love time to just get settled into my mom-ness before the passing around and advice starts! (Even though I'm sure there will also be some sweet help that comes with it, and I *do* want family to get to say hello. I just value the first bonding time, too.) If I could have a 3-5 days at home with "just us" before visitors, I think I'd be in heaven. But, I don't think that will happen. 

I'm wondering what other people have done!

I have a very involved (nosy lol) family! and I've made it very clear to them that my DH and my doula are the only ones who will be with me while laboring and delivering. And I don't want anyone in the waiting room "waiting" for the baby either! Lol no way. We will prob not call anyone til she is here. And we've gotten some rest. I also don't want a bunch of visitors after at home either! I've told my hubby to enforce the no more than two visitors at a time rule for the first few weeks at home and only a few times a week not everyday! This is our miracle baby, we need our alone/bonding time with her during her first month of life. And if they don't like it, they can just get over it LOL

[1babysmom]

My big one is whether or not I want MIL to be there.  Since we are planning another UC, I appreciate the knowledge and the experience she would bring.  HOWEVER, even though she's probably the most natural-minded, most educated woman I've ever met, she gets really weird during my births and it's like she loses some of that natural-mindedness.  It drives me kind of nuts.  But she lives right across the road from us, and DH usually calls her for HIS support, and I'm generally okay with that, but I'd rather she not be here if we don't need her. (and I've talked with DH about this, and he didn't realize how much I DIDN'T want her there last time, so we're on the same page now, but things are always negotiable :) ) Actually, I've always dreamed of UC'ing to the "max"...having the baby with just DH (though mostly alone) and not telling anyone until after the fact. LOL  My house is usually full of my parents, my grandparents, and eventually some aunts and uncles, but I generally don't mind because I'm on such a high at that point.  And I also like that each time they show up to my house during/right after a successful UC, I am normalizing the experience of truly natural childbirth for them, and showing that it's not always a medical event and a reminder that God not only created my body to do this, but that He is also the ultimate birth "assistant" that no midwife or OB or whoever could ever compare to. :)

[1babysmom]

Oh, another thing I remembered that is a "first" for me this pregnancy is that prior to finding out (actually we finished up shortly afterwards), I completed NAET through my chiro.  I'm wondering if/how that'll change things for me this time.  The things it cleared up for me were all allergies/sensitivities that had no obvious effect on me (not to say they weren't bothering my body somehow, just that it was nothing *I* ever noticed).  I had the ALCAT tests done a year before and I know those aren't always accurate, but it was kind of interesting because things like apples, oranges, and other vitamin C foods were on my severe and moderate lists, and then vitamin C was one of my strongest NAET responses.  So we cleared that up.

[IronMam]

I wish I had the "who can be there" problem. But the only family in town is my brother-in-law, who lives with us, and will probably be on babysitting duty with Dd when the baby comes. My mom has severe progressive MS, so it's literally impossible for her to come visit (she can't even go to a doc appt. without needing an ambulance service to pick her up and drive her there). And my dad can't come, because he can't leave her.

I tried so hard to talk my sister and her husband into coming, especially since we were estranged when Dd was born, and I'd really like her here for this one. But she says they can't afford to come visit and, even though they have a camper, they don't want to drive this far. It's frustrating because I would, for once, really like some of my family here to support me. When Dd was born we had one of my other brothers-in-law here, but he lives in New Zealand now. Which is another big bummer. He was actually a HUGE help in my last labor. He brought his guitar to the hospital and played music for me, including Blackbird multiple times. It was one of the few things that helped me get through contractions. Maybe I'll ask him to make me a recording to play this time. It's hard to cope with feeling so lonely/isolated during such a special time. I mean, nobody even brought me flowers at the hospital when DD was born. The only family we had in town was the brother-in-law, who was only there by random chance (he came for a visit, and DD came 10 days early). If she had been born closer to her EDD we would have had nobody but the doula.

The only other in-law I would even want to visit with after the birth lives in Ontario. So she's out of the question too. And we don't get along with the rest if DPs family.

[Munchkin08]

I plan for my doula and DH to be at the birth. I would love it if my mother could join us but she is located across the country. Any ideas on how to make this work? Esp. if she cant take off a lot of time from work to come and wait for the baby to be born? (Not to mention that I would rather she be there after, not before). My MIL is local and I hope that she will give us the time alone to recover in the hospital but who knows?! I still have to talk to DH about this, while they are not close, he is her only son and may want to show her support (and probably wouldn't even think that showing her support means giving us space!).

[Greenlea]

The only person other than my husband and midwife that I'd want at my birth would be my mom. She was at my 1st birth and was a huge help, but she'll be watching my other kids when I go to the hospital because she's one of the few people I feel comfortable with leaving my kids with for that long. 

My family will want to come to the hospital right after the baby is born I know. And as long as its not during work hours, I'm sure they will be there. My mom will tell them when I'm going into labor too - I don't mind people knowing. I'm hoping my family will hold off a little on showing up right after the birth so my kids can come right after instead and can visit with their new sibling uninterrupted. 

After my homebirth with my DS2, we had no visitors that day, and I felt kind of sad. I wanted people to come visit.  So I wouldn't say no visitors at the hospital or at home, I would like some. Plus, my family is really good with bringing food after the baby is born.

[1babysmom]

Originally Posted by Greenlea 
Plus, my family is really good with bringing food after the baby is born.

Jealous!  I've only once received one meal after any of my babies, though I did get well fed after my ectopic surgery.  It's juvenile, but I've always been sort of envious of those who have meals brought to them afterwards! 

[MaineCoastMama]

Another question! For those of you who have had hospital/birthing center births, uncomplicated, well baby, etc, how many nights did you stay?

[Greenlea]

My DS1 was born naturally at a hospital, and I stayed the mandatory 24 hrs. But baby stayed with me the whole time.

This time around my midwife said I can leave after around 6 hrs as long as everything looks good and I bring in my own pediatrician to release the baby. But I may want to stay the 24 hrs again, we'll see how I feel.

[alaskanmomma]

Originally Posted by MaineCoastMama 

Another question! For those of you who have had hospital/birthing center births, uncomplicated, well baby, etc, how many nights did you stay?

I had DD at the hospital, no complications, vaginal... I stayed 3 days(2 days after she was actually born though). With DS I had him at a birth center and we left by noon(he was born at 6:30am).

[alaskanmomma]

Is anyone else anxious to decorate and start Christmas festivities? I'm sooooo excited, but DH said I can't decorate until Black Friday, arghhhhh!

[TIFF4NY]

I had DD the night of the 29th and was released the morning of the 31st. 

[TIFF4NY]

Originally Posted by alaskanmomma 

Is anyone else anxious to decorate and start Christmas festivities? I'm sooooo excited, but DH said I can't decorate until Black Friday, arghhhhh!

We had our lights put up outside professionally last year and liked it so much we're doing it again so those are going up this Friday! I won't be turning them on until Thanksgiving though. We get the lights on the house up and then I will go and add our little additions that I do afterwards and I'm hoping to make the inside SUPER magical for DD. 

Here is a shot from last year. 

[1babysmom]

Originally Posted by alaskanmomma 

Is anyone else anxious to decorate and start Christmas festivities? I'm sooooo excited, but DH said I can't decorate until Black Friday, arghhhhh!

YES.  I'm a "Christmas begins in October" kind of gal but DH has reined me in and I have to wait until Thanksgiving.  We've had the Christmas music playing for weeks now though, and DH and the kiddos put up lights in our living room for fun a few days ago. 

[1babysmom]

Originally Posted by MaineCoastMama 

Another question! For those of you who have had hospital/birthing center births, uncomplicated, well baby, etc, how many nights did you stay?

With my hospital birth, I had an epidural, and I left the hospital 14 hours after she was born.  I just requested it and they approved.

[IronMam]

Originally Posted by MaineCoastMama 

Another question! For those of you who have had hospital/birthing center births, uncomplicated, well baby, etc, how many nights did you stay?

I had a hospital birth, no complications, and stayed a few nights. They were going to send me home a night earlier, but I requested one more night and they were fine with that (not a lot of babies were being born during the Christmas season, so I got the room to myself the whole time). I kept DD with me the whole time, and DP was allowed to sleep over as well. The convenience of having nurses, the awesome sitz bath, meals, etc. was really helpful for me as a first-time mom. I'm sure I won't stay anywhere near as long this time, as I'll want to get home to DD. Plus the midwives I'm with this time don't tend to keep their hospital mums overnight.

I'm still debating whether to do a hospital or not this time. Our hospital doesn't have tubs...and being in water is probably the number one thing for me to help with labor pain. I don't see any way we can afford the birthing center...but I don't really want to have a home birth either. I'd have to have everything organized/clean (not my strong suit); and I may want privacy but I can't exactly demand my brother-in-law leave the house for who knows how many hours (especially since he'll be looking after DD). Plus, we're in a duplex. I don't really like the idea of the neighbors hearing me scream. lol - And the last thing I want to worry about during birth is feeling awkward. 

[MaineCoastMama]

I love hearing all of your answers. It provides hope to me, if I am good to leave soon, that I will be able to, and in the same token, helps me to consider that I may decide I want to stay the night or an extra night, as a first time mom. I know babies can room in at my hospital, as well as partners, so that is nice. 

We are starting to put up our outside lights. We have a log home and my husband has already done the icicle lights on our trim and deck, and is now working on putting lights in our trees outside. 

Here's a glimpse what the house looks like when the season gets going.:)