November Chat Thread - Page 12 « Back to Group Discussions

[mrsavery]

We saw our little one for the first time today! (19w1d) A full head-to-toe scan was in order because they wanted to check everything out with me being diabetic. It was SO AMAZING! He/she (fondly referred to as "Squirmy" by me) is perfect, although measuring *slightly* large in the 71st percentile. We've still got so much time and growing left to do though, so that could always change! My favorite part of the whole thing was watching as the baby sucked on his(?) hand and then did a full-body hiccupp...which I actually felt! SO COOL. And, it was just amazing seeing all those little parts! Watching the heart beat! I'm totally in awe, and in love! Just had to share :)

[Munchkin08]

That's great mrsavery!

We affectionately refer to our LO as Wiggles as we are keeping the sex a surprise.

Any other nicknames out there?

I bought three pairs of maternity pants today (my first maternity clothes purchase) from a second hand store. Glad to be out of the in-between stage - so much more comfortable.

[camprunner]

We just call our little girl Maebelle which will be her name. 

We've been having an on going problem with the inlaws which has really be stressing me out lately.  Basically, my inlaws (who don't know about this baby unless someone told them about our facebook announcement) refuse to think of me as anything else other than a machine that produces their grandchildren in which they should be able to do whatever they want with because that is their right.  They even told me the other Christmas, while i was pregnant with our son that they didn't like me (not those exact words but it was definately implied).  I waited until I wasn't pregnant and the post partum hormones had calmed down and then I confronted them over e-mail.  They fowarded dh a long list of reasons why it was ok for them not to like me. No apology or I'm sorry we didn't mean it like that...just a list of reasons why it was ok...   So we've recently cut them off and I've been the one trying to get them to see how they can just fix the problems (butting in too much, being disrespectful of me, undermining me infront of the kids, criticizing me, etc).  DH agrees with me and says if the problem is with me then they should be expected to communicate with me.  So today, after all the e-mails they've sent dh about how they don't like me and after how rude they've been to me.  They send me an e-mail stating that they haven't done anything wrong and that I should not tell their grandchildren that they don't love them...I would never do that. We did however tell them that their grandparents were mean to mommy and that's why weren't seeing them.  Anyway...just frustrating that they don't understand that they actually have to be nice to ME and treat me as a human being .

Thyroid is acting up big time and some of my anger and frustration is probably coming from that too.  So it was retested and I'm hoping that I can change my dose to fix the symptoms.

[IronMam]

Camprunner, they sound like real a-holes. I think what your old your kids is perfect, it gives them a wonderful example of how to be assertive. If someone doesn't respect you, don't give them the chance to abuse you. DP's mum is a jerk (mostly to him) so we avoid contact with them as much as possible. We send a Christmas present each year, and that's the only interaction we seek out.

[Oliver's Mama]

Sorry to hear that camprunner.  It's great that your dh is supportive; some guys would just say, but they're still my parents.. and sheepishly go along..  glad he sees past that and is totally on your side.

[nettster]

Originally Posted by camprunner 

We just call our little girl Maebelle which will be her name. 

We've been having an on going problem with the in-laws which has really be stressing me out lately.  Basically, my in-laws (who don't know about this baby unless someone told them about our facebook announcement) refuse to think of me as anything else other than a machine that produces their grandchildren in which they should be able to do whatever they want with because that is their right.  They even told me the other Christmas, while i was pregnant with our son that they didn't like me (not those exact words but it was definitely implied).  I waited until I wasn't pregnant and the post partum hormones had calmed down and then I confronted them over e-mail.  They fowarded dh a long list of reasons why it was ok for them not to like me. No apology or I'm sorry we didn't mean it like that...just a list of reasons why it was ok...   So we've recently cut them off and I've been the one trying to get them to see how they can just fix the problems (butting in too much, being disrespectful of me, undermining me infront of the kids, criticizing me, etc).  DH agrees with me and says if the problem is with me then they should be expected to communicate with me.  So today, after all the e-mails they've sent dh about how they don't like me and after how rude they've been to me.  They send me an e-mail stating that they haven't done anything wrong and that I should not tell their grandchildren that they don't love them...I would never do that. We did however tell them that their grandparents were mean to mommy and that's why weren't seeing them.  Anyway...just frustrating that they don't understand that they actually have to be nice to ME and treat me as a human being .

Thyroid is acting up big time and some of my anger and frustration is probably coming from that too.  So it was retested and I'm hoping that I can change my dose to fix the symptoms.

Hope the thyroid issues get worked out soon! 

I can totally relate with you on this.  i have let my husband deal with them because i have tried reasoning and it doesn't seem to work. The background on mine: they don't mind me as a person and are generally nice to my face BUT they HATE me because i am not a christian.

The screamed at him during the first pregnancy we had because i was pregnant and they didn't approve (we had been married for 6 months at that point). Told him that i was doing it for "control purposes" that i was likely 5 months pregnant andjust didnt say anything etc.  

that tuned changed when we brought up moving to canada if we were so unwanted then it became a "you have to make sure the baby is born in the USA for your own safety" etc etc 

That pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. think i got a "how are you holding up etc" phone call from them at any point?? nope. Think my husband got any emotional support from them?? nope. his boss was more sympathetic about it. 

Hubby and i have already decided if something were to happen to me and i was unable to care for the kids or we were divorced the kids would go to me or to my mother. It is in our wills already should something happen to me or to chris the baby is to go into he care of my mother as he doesn't want the kids being raised by his mother. 

To his mother i am a "devil worshiper" and she has no problems saying it to my face to to try and start things. 

We found out later that 3 days after i miscarried she told his sister that i was "a bi-polar b**** and that he should just get rid of me" (proven via seeing the text itself on her old cellphone. 

We have been doing the shun thing for the most part, i have been trying to patch things up and since he still has a little brother who is only 10 and has down syndrome we do go over on holidays so that they can see each other because his little brother adores him and me. 

IMO you are doing everything right and they have no place saying anything to the kids about you saying "they don't love them" because honestly if you look at it acting that way towards you around them isn't very loving.

My mother had the same issue after her father in law died (my step dads father) only unlike your husband my step-dad sided with his mother (which we didn't care about we were actually happy -us kids- when they got a divorce.) 

They will either grow up and start acting like mature adults or they won't you have done what you can if they don't change its their own loss. 

Edited by nettster - 11/20/12 at 7:12pm

[1babysmom]

Camprunner...I am so sorry. That sounds really miserable.  Good for you for being the one who makes attempts to make things better, though....in the end, you'll never be in the wrong.  It's so sad that there are IL relationships like that, and I think it's awful when the fact that you are FAMILY is overlooked. :(

Speaking of IL's...mini rant.  I admit that I am blessed with wonderful IL's.  But sometimes they do get on my nerves (of course, we live directly across the road from them and the close proximity isn't always a good thing...).  I called MIL today to ask her what I should bring for Thanksgiving.  We are eating with them because DH is working 24 hours, my family will be out of town, and I didn't want to spend the holiday with the children alone.  Sad!  Anyway, she said one SIL is making green beans and another SIL and her hubby are buying drinks at the store.  Then she proceeds to ask me to make some veggie salads, a waldorf salad, AND a pie "or two." 

Ummmm....I'm home alone over half the time with my children (DH works 24-48 hour shifts), homeschool, none of us have been feeling well, I'm pregnant, and we have an itty bitty food budget.  And she knows all this.  I'm all for contributing, but it felt kind of weird to be asked to make and bring the most. (especially when SIL #1 is over 30 years old and lives by herself, and SIL #2 does have a job but only because they spend money like it's going out of style and the only reason she's "busy" otherwise is because they "play" a lot.  This is also the SIL who had 2 children- on accident, 2 different fathers- while living at the IL's house and never had any motherly responsibilities while living with the 5 other people there!!!).  I'm not sure if she just wasn't thinking or what, but that was kind of frustrating.  Guess I get to spend tomorrow baking...again. 

[bambihelton]

I can sympathize with frustrating ILs. I really, really love my in-laws... most of the time. DH's mom is just really sassy. She has a lot on her plate and gets frustrated easily because she's so busy and has little patience. 

1babysmom, maybe you should take that as a compliment, as frustrating as it is. Maybe she thought that you were the only one that had enough cooking skills to contribute. Green beans are SO easy and buying drinks at the store? LOL, She just knows that you're better at that sort of thing. 

[camprunner]

Thanks so much for the support. I admit that my trying to make them see how they can fix things probably hasn't been completely angelic but I'm pretty angry that they think their behavior is ok and while they can admit to doing some things wrong, there is never an apology to go with. They'd just like to pretend it never happened and I need serious acknowledgement that not only was it wrong but that it will never happen again.  We did live near them for a year. During that year, they made sure that they invited dh and dd over for dinner only when I was busy.  When dh went out of town, they never called to check on me.  And emotional support? I used to try to talk to MIL on the phone when dh and I first got married and I didn't have a job. She made it clear she'd rather watch her soap operas.  I asked her to lunch and shopping when when we lived there. Her response "Is [insert dh's name here] going?"   When I responded no, she said "Well then I think I'll just stay at home."  I mean come on. I think "I need to wash my hair today" might have sounded nicer.  So anyway I guess they aren't obligated to be nice but now that we have kids they think they can just do whatever. They actually argued with me that they should be able to feed dd1 honey at 9 months old.  And this was back when you should delay the top 10 allergens. FIL argues with me about it and then a week later informed me the he'd gone to work to complain about me!  Work backed me but still...

Oh wait, I was probably not supposed to do a second rant.  Anyway.  Frustrating situation and can totally see how frustrating yours is nettster because it sounds very similar.

1BabysMom, some people don't get it. I'll be she was coming from the angle of you have 3 kids and will be bringing a lot of the guests so you can bring a lot of the food. She's not taking into consideration about how much time those kids take up.  When dh is gone, I can't wait for him to get home and help as I'm worn out!  And pathetically, I'm talking about when he goes to the grocery store for an hour or takes one to the kids to a sports practice for me LOL.

I've been reading large family blogs a lot lately. It's only our fourth but I'm pretty terrified to make the jump when I feel overwhelmed with 3 a lot.  Tonight I ordered color coordinated towels for the three kids we have now (so I can tell who keeps leaving their towel on the floor) and am planning to follow that up with color coded cups and maybe even school supplies.  I've been trying to get organized as soon as possible so I can verify that everyone else knows how to be organized by the time Maebelle is born.  I've figured out how all three girls will eventually share a room and still have space to breath.  Baby steps LOL.
 

[Munchkin08]

And I think I have a cold. The second one of the pregnancy. Stupid airplane travel. At least I am here with mom. Heres to hoping she will take care of me and that I can still do all the fun stuff I want to do on this trip. 

[at_the_hip]

Originally Posted by camprunner 

. They actually argued with me that they should be able to feed dd1 honey at 9 months old.  And this was back when you should delay the top 10 allergens. FIL argues with me about it and then a week later informed me the he'd gone to work to complain about me!  Work backed me but still...

Yeesh...well that's an easy argument considering BOTULISM...allergies aside a baby can die from eating honey under 1 year old! 

[camprunner]

Originally Posted by at_the_hip 

Yeesh...well that's an easy argument considering BOTULISM...allergies aside a baby can die from eating honey under 1 year old! 

You'd think wouldn't you? The didn't believe that I knew what I was talking about   They sent another e-mail today and let me know that I should be greatful that when we went to stay with them (they live 4 1/2 hours away from us) I should be greatful for the sleeping acommodations and food they provided.  Gee thanks for clearing that space off on teh floor for me!  I guess I was brought up in such a way that I didn't realize that it as optional to provide sleeping accomodations and food by their definition.  Yes, I have developed special food needs in the last few years but they didn't accomodate my food needs until my two dd's also developed te spcial needs.  Anyway. The situation with them may be the cause of what I thought were symptoms of my thryoid levels changing. DH has gotten to the point of being half embarrassed by their excuses and half amused that they are so nuts!

Well the thyroid test came back pretty much fine. Only one tenth of a point increase since 8 weeks ago so I guess the miserable symptoms I have aren't related. In past pregnancies they've showed at 10 weeks so I think it is positive that the symptoms didn't show up until 20 weeks this time.  They usually go away around week 28 so here's hoping

[at_the_hip]

Oh my goodness, it sure sounds like they are really trying to alienate you, camprunner.  I have MIL issues (she has mental problems) but I am fortunate, as you are, that my husband is supportive of me over the insanity!  LOL  I am thankful we live in a different country because that sometimes doesn't feel like enough of a buffer!  LOL

[1babysmom]

So, my Thanksgiving update...my SIL and her hubby didn't even bring drinks, and they ate before they came.  Dumb.  I wish I could say that my MIL's reasoning for asking me to bring more was because I have three kids coming with me, but they don't even eat an adult serving combined.  And she knows that.    But it was miserable...we made the pies yesterday, and I can make a pumpkin pie (have made 4 in the last 2 weeks already), but when we made these two, for whatever reason they didn't even bake.  They appeared baked, and looked baked, and tested baked, but when I cut into one before we went to the IL's, they were definitely NOT baked.  And my whipping cream was bad or something, it tasted so wrong. (another thing we make regularly- successfully)  But it was just depressing.  My waldorf salad was a semi-success...semi because it turned out and MIL said it was good, but I wasn't thrilled.  They are a kind of picky family (they wouldn't flat out say something was bad, but you can TOTALLY tell when they're thinking it) so it's always really intimidating.

Of course, I am flat out exhausted, so that always exaggerates things.

Aaaaaanyway, I did put up our Christmas tree this morning (decorating tomorrow), so at least I have that beautiful glow in my living room.

On the baby front, movement has been very very regular here, I can always count on it particularly when I'm sitting.  And I know it seems early (I'm 18w3d...I don't think they generally start this early??) but I SWEAR I've felt hiccups a couple times.  My kids have all been really "hiccup-y" and this felt just like it...those rhythmic little bumps that last for a while.  But I just think it's too early...maybe baby is tapping his/her foot or something. LOL

Edited by 1babysmom - 11/22/12 at 7:02pm

[camprunner]

Originally Posted by 1babysmom 

So, my Thanksgiving update...my SIL and her hubby didn't even bring drinks, and they ate before they came.  Dumb.  I wish I could say that my MIL's reasoning for asking me to bring more was because I have three kids coming with me, but they don't even eat an adult serving combined.  And she knows that.    But it was miserable...we made the pies yesterday, and I can make a pumpkin pie (have made 4 in the last 2 weeks already), but when we made these two, for whatever reason they didn't even bake.  They appeared baked, and looked baked, and tested baked, but when I cut into one before we went to the IL's, they were definitely NOT baked.  And my whipping cream was bad or something, it tasted so wrong. (another thing we make regularly- successfully)  But it was just depressing.  My waldorf salad was a semi-success...semi because it turned out and MIL said it was good, but I wasn't thrilled.  They are a kind of picky family (they wouldn't flat out say something was bad, but you can TOTALLY tell when they're thinking it) so it's always really intimidating.

Of course, I am flat out exhausted, so that always exaggerates things.

Aaaaaanyway, I did put up our Christmas tree this morning (decorating tomorrow), so at least I have that beautiful glow in my living room.

On the baby front, movement has been very very regular here, I can always count on it particularly when I'm sitting.  And I know it seems early (I'm 18w3d...I don't think they generally start this early??) but I SWEAR I've felt hiccups a couple times.  My kids have all been really "hiccup-y" and this felt just like it...those rhythmic little bumps that last for a while.  But I just think it's too early...maybe baby is tapping his/her foot or something. LOL

I love Waldorf Salad!  I think that maybe spending holidays with the in laws is just awkward and my expectations are high.

We had a Thanksgiving of just the 5 of us in our little family.  Unfortunately, I made up for not taking a nap all week so DH did the whole thing and it was wonderful. He smoked a Turkey, made asparagus, sweet potatoes (I don't like sweet potatoes unless he fixes them), potatoes, and the Waldorf Salad which was supposed to be my job.  He allowed me to sleep and it was much needed. 

I am feeling a bit of the nesting bug lately.  The kids rooms are picked up; just need to get to the closets. The living room and home school area are picked up.  Just the master bedroom suite to go!  Then I can actually clean and organize.  I'm also working on getting the entire family on a cleaning schedule so I'm not maintaining by myself. 

[1babysmom]

I've started cleaning on a schedule over the last few months, too.  I don't always stick with it, but it's really simple (just the big stuff, because once I'm doing that stuff the smaller details come naturally) and is easy to work around our school times.  Now I just need to get the rest of the family on board. ;)

[1babysmom]

Doing some reading and it sounds like I could definitely be feeling hiccups.  Apparently they can start even early in the 2nd tri but "most women don't feel them yet", and that phrase right there usually indicates that I AM feeling them, since I seem to be a freak of nature according to textbook everything. LOL

[alaskanmomma]

Does anyone have acne? I have perfect skin outside of pregnancy, but all my pregnancies make my skin look like a 13 year old, BLECH!!! Seems like I clear one break-out just to get an even worse one :(

[BeanBean06]

OMG! I have HORRID acne! HORRID! somedays it's worse than others but its always big hard deep painful spots! Ugh. Somedays I'm glad for the bed rest, cuz I can't leave the house! I've always had mild homonal related acne (like around my time of the month) and occasionally if I was really stressed. But HOLY GEEZ! This is crazy! I feel like a teenager all over again. *sigh* I've def missed the "glow" LOL.

[bmcneal]

Originally Posted by alaskanmomma 

Does anyone have acne? I have perfect skin outside of pregnancy, but all my pregnancies make my skin look like a 13 year old, BLECH!!! Seems like I clear one break-out just to get an even worse one :(

Yes! I am not terribly acne-prone when I'm not pregnant, but like you, it gets *so* bad!