Please help me transition my 13 month old

[BeautifulCanvas]

I've looked through this forum, but couldn't find a "method" to transition a baby from co-sleeping to own crib, so I thought I might as well ask.  ;)

My 13 month old baby boy was born 5 weeks prematurely and spent 13 days in NICU.  When he came home, he wouldn't have anything to do with co-sleeping and happily slept in his crib.  I missed co-sleeping, but could see the perks of him in his own crib.  When he was about 4 months old, he got croup 3 times and I spent my nights sleeping in a recliner with him on my chest.  After he got well, he seemed to prefer me close at night, although he still spent a good portion of the night in his crib.  Well, that slowly changed.  At the moment, he takes a long afternoon nap in his crib, 2 - 3hrs.  No issues there.  Sometimes he also takes a shorter nap late in the afternoon.  He usually breastfeeds to sleep right after his siblings go to bed, at 8pm.  Sometimes a bit sooner, but that's usually when he shows that he's tired and needs to go to bed.  He'll sleep in his crib until about 10pm - 10:30pm.  If I'm not in bed by then, he'll nurse and go back to sleep in his crib.  When he wakes up during the night and I'm already in bed, he refuses to be put back in his crib after nursing.  Last night was really bad.  He woke up and was still awake when I got ready for bed, so I just put him down with me.  Even though he nursed about 3 times, he kept climbing all over me, rolling around, kicking his legs.  He doesn't like for me to hold on to him during the night, but likes to have his feet and his head touching me.  I tried patting his bottom, rubbing his back, patting his back, nursing, etc to get him to sleep, but he just kept flailing around and wimpering.  Eventually, I got him tucked in tight with his back to my front and he finally fell asleep.  I don't do well on little sleep.  I become angry, grumpy and resentful.  I need to find something that'll work for both of us.

If anyone has a way to transition baby to his crib full time, I'd love to hear it.  I'd also like to night wean, but I guess that's an issue on its own.  FTR, this child will not CIO.  Once or twice, he's been left to cry and he doesn't stop.  At all.  He just screams worse and worse and becomes completely hysterical, so I don't let him cry if it can be helped.  Anything other than CIO would be something I would be willing to try.  Tnx!

[skycheattraffic]

Would you be willing to keep a sippy cup of water nearby and offer it to him when he doesn't settle with nursing? My DD gets thirsty at night and sometimes needs a few gulps of water to relax and drift off to sleep. We don't cosleep since DH is an epileptic and inadequate sleep is his big trigger so DD is in her own room in a crib. I go to her as needed and nurse her down in a recliner then move her once she is asleep. Of course on many occasions I fall asleep before she does and we end up in the recliner, but my aim is to put her down and go back to bed. Here's what I have found:
1: she has to be sound asleep or she will wake and I will at least have to hold her longer if not nurse . When her arms feel limp and heavy (like a noodle) then my chances are good. Of course some nights she doesn't ever get there while I'm awake or at all so I sleep in the recliner with her.
2: if she's in her sleep sack, the move is easier since I'm. Not laying her down on cold sheets directly. If it's in the wash then I put a blanket under her to help mask the move.
That's it; that's all I got :-)
The water thing is big at our house though, and it's easy enough to try. I would wait with nightweaning if you can. I hear that 18 months is a better time for a lot of little ones. Good luck; I wish you many restful nights.

[GiftofBabySleep]

Where are you located?  I am an infant and toddler sleep consultant and help parents teach their children to fall asleep independently and stay asleep the entire night through.  My approach is gentle and effective.  If you are close to me I can help you.  If not I can see if one of my fellow consultants are closer to you and can refer you.  Otherwise I may be able to work with you via skype.  Please email me at [e-mail] if you would like to see  if I can help you.  

[RebeccaMichi]

Choose a no cry technique, well there will be some crying but if you are in the room with him, picking up and soothing when he needs it and helping learn the skills to get to sleep himself, you are not leaving him to CIO.

It only takes 3 nights to break a habit.

Work on sleeping away from you first and then move onto night weaning. Feed during the night at set times.

You can even teach independent sleep when co-sleeping, it's certainly harder to do, but is possible.

Good luck.

Rebecca Michi