Hello. I need help

[DukeNukem007]

Hi. I'm a fathering. I'm 27 years old and born with a heart problem. I have a question about my toddler. He is 2 years old and he won't anything. He used to eat bananna and now he doesn't. He doesn't eat anything else besides milk. Last night I've tried to feed him with some rice and vegetables and BB Ribs he won't eat it. His favorite food is candy and junk food. Like chips, crackers etc. He will eat those, but not healthy food. He loves fruits and ketchup. Today at lunch time I feed him 2 hot dogs without the bun and he eat it.  He loves ketchup on it. I want to know how to get him to eat real food. My wife and I are stress about feeding. Sometimes it takes us an hour to feed him and then he finishes the bowl. By then the food is cold. I also tried to put him in front of the tv in a room watching barney and power rangers. He will sit there for 5 minutes while I feed him. After that he gets up and jump around and don't want to eat. Its very stressful for my wife and I. We are concern that he will starve. Also I have a 4 month old daughter. At night when she comes home from the babysistter and I tried to feed her my son will come near her and hold her hands. My guess is that he is jealous that I take care of the baby and not him. Is this happening to anyone at their house. Taking care of a toddler is so stressful. Please help me.

[1love4ever]

Hi, is there a WAPF chapter in your area that could help you, or a TF nutritional coach?

If you give a child junk food, of course they will choose to eat that over real food.  Sugar tastes good and is literally addicting.  Don't offer any food other than healthy food.  A child will not starve themself.  If they are hungry, they will eat.  This is assuming there is no underlying issue, if you are concerned that he truely has an issue other than stubbornness and strong food preferences, take him to a naturopath.  Fruit is a good start.  You can serve him organic fruit as a snack, but don't try to fill him up with fruit, fruit is not a meal, but can be added to a meal.  Serve it as a side, or a snack.  You can try making new things as well, maybe you will find something he likes.

Yes it's normal for an older child to be jealous of a younger sibling getting attention, just be sure to give him attention too, not necessarily at the same time if thats not possible, but just be sure to make time for him.  Explain to him that he needs to wait for the baby to finish eating if he is being disruptive, etc.  Also if there is a way he can participate in helping with the baby, such as picking out a diaper, etc, then that can help.

[sundaya]

To me, sounds like a pretty typical reaction to a new baby, where big kid controls what they can....you cannot force a child to eat, only offer, and they choose to eat or not, from there. The more you try to control, or stress, the more it seems to them like a good area to exert their own control in :) All said from experience.

I would cut back on the junk. If you don't want him to eat it, don't give it to him. What worked for us: Write down a list of all the healthy things you think he might eat, or that you want him to eat. Pick a good mix of those, put them in front of him, and tell a story or otherwise focus on something else other than what he eats.

Some of the things my toddlers have loved: full fat plain yogurt, frozen peas (still frozen) frozen blueberries, salmon, cut up fruit of any sort, cooked veggies, avocado, chicken drumsticks, frozen yogurt popsicles (yogurt with blueberries in blender, then frozen in popsicle mold) and straight up bites of butter. If he likes ketchup, serve that as a dip for cooked veggies, meats, etc. My kids never liked smoothies, but if he will drink milk, maybe a smoothie? Just try different things, and take the pressure off. If something goes over well, keep that in mind, but don't stop trying things he turns his nose up. Also, often my little guy will try something I"m eating, even though he won't touch the same thing on his plate.

Good luck. It's very stressful for everyone with a new babe. It gets better!

[DukeNukem007]

I guess where not prepare for this. My wife and had my son and new baby by surprise. I'm so tired.

[1love4ever]

I'm sorry to hear that, small children and babies are exhausting.  Is there anyone who might be willing to help you by taking your older child sometimes or just coming over to hang out with him and play with him while  you tend to the baby, household needs, food, etc?  That is what really helps me.  Also, cutting out TV and computer time and instead tending to the house and food prep, and getting sleep has helped a lot.  I don't have much time for myself anymore, but that's the sacrifice I've had to make :/    One thing that took me awhile to figure out with my first baby (mostly out of ignorance and b/c I was listening to a Dr) is- to just go to bed with my baby, and when she woke up, to just help her latch on to nurse while still laying down beside me, and we both went back to sleep together!  After I finally figured that one out, I got so much more sleep!!  Also napping while the kids nap if you need sleep, and getting good nutrition yourself will help you.  At the very least, you can eliminate junk food from your sons diet, that's pretty easy to do by just not buying it or offering it or allowing it in your home at all! :)

[IsaFrench]

simplify food preparation as much as possible

SO that you are NOT upset when whatever is served is not eaten

offer 3 or 4 different food items to your toddler, on the same plate, at the same time

if possible half of these as "finger food"

if they are not eaten within 15 to 20 minutes

put everything as is in the fridge "for later" (= whenever your toddler is hungry later on)

if you leave fruit and bread easily available in your kitchen, your toddler will NOT starve

even if right now he's not making the food choices that you would have liked him to make

maybe if both adults are out of the home all day

then the time when adults and children reconnect at the end of the day

... is not the best time to eat nor to watch TV

if there are fights around food at this time of the day, try to think of another activity to do at that time

(a walk, a bath, a playtime session ?)

so that all 4 of you can be less stressed out generally

i would make a list of "easy food/meals" at week ends so that the following week day evenings can run more smoothly for all ....

good luck ...and yes, spend less time figuring out time consuming meals and spend more time sleeping

with children that young, every extra minute of sleep will be usefull ...

[DukeNukem007]

haha the day before yesterday I took my son out to the mall and when he comes home in a few hours he is exhausted and tired. He rode on the quarter cars and walk around the whole mall. Well I rent an 5 dollar stroller just in case he decided to go to sleep on it. So he went to bed early and I get to play my games. I myself only play for a couple of minutes and I went to bed.  But I feed him a bottle of milk before he went to bed. I figured out what he like last night. My aunt feed him cooked cumbers and rice and he ate half and didn't finish it. He also had one or two bites left that he could not finish. I've tried to tell him nicely to finish it, but I guess he is just full. The he had some soup not finished. Maybe half of the small bowl. Then my son liked the roasted duck that they serve at a Chinese Restraunt. My wife brought one box home and he ate 1 duck leg.
 

[1love4ever]

That's great, maybe you can try to make your own versions of those things at home!  Yes I always find that if I let my kids run around outside for a few hours during the day they sleep much better!  If they don't want to run, I invent some sort of running, chasing or tag game and then they run like crazy and are always ready for bed at night!  Do you have a yard he could run in?  You could take him outside, have the baby in a carrier, and chase him around, etc

[DukeNukem007]

Nah we don't have a yard. Our yard is so small. Its not like the yards that we had in South Carolina where everything is big. In Atlanta the house that I live in right now is so small. We don't even have fence put up in the neighborhood.