Enter this young grandma type doula we met at the beginning of our hospital tour last month. Talkative and totally fits the stereotype of an overbearing Jewish mom. She got our story and seemed to reeeeeeeeeeeealllllllly want to be our doula. We hadn't started looking for doulas at the time so we gave her our info. Said she get reimbursements from insurance companies, so she'd even be willing to work something out with her fee. Ran into her again at another birth professionals event and she bee-lined for us and said she thought about it and wants to be our doula for free. She'll accept whatever payment my insurance co pays.
The thing is, I had previously called my insurance company with the CPT code and they said they don't cover doula services whatsoever. This did not seem to phase this doula. She was wanting to pioneer payment from insurance cos in our area. She also made it very clear that she was expecting rave reviews from us and to refer her to all our friends.
As of this point my husband and I didn't get the best vibes from her, but she seemed experienced and were willing to have a sit down meeting with her at our place in December.
She called and I set the time up and she kept me on the phone for at least 30 minutes. By this point, I'm starting to get uncomfortable that she will be just waaay to chatty and overbearing during our birth.
Straw that broke the camels back. My midwife asked about doulas. I told her about our options we were considering and mentioned this lady in particular. Midwife's immediate reaction was "Don't go with her, she's crazy."
Soooooo. Is there a tactful way to tell this doula, "sorry, I know you offered your services for free to us, but we don't want em." Phone call? Email? I imagine she will push further and try to convince us our other options are subpar to her.
I feel really akward about this whole situation but both my husband and I do not think she will be a good fit at our birth. We have 2 other options that seem promising. So another doula is definately in the works.
Any advice is very much appreciated since we seem to keep running into her at events in our area.