a little history about my family. when dd1 was born i was on my own, and she slept in a cradle next to me and transitioned to her own crib. that was fine until she was a toddler and then it was hell, so i started bed sharing. which was awesome. fast forward to age 3, i got engaged and just before she turned 4 we got married. she gets along GREAT with my husband. she went to her own room at that point and it was a rough transition. but she kind of got used to it eventually.
then i had DD2. i have never bed shared with her due to safety reasons (medical) and she slept in my room until 1.5. i transitioned her to her crib, which works fine for her except that if both girls try to go to bed at the same time, they keep each other up and nobody sleeps.
so, here's the issue. DD1 has behaviour issues. i took her to a therapist who diagnosed attachment disorder, which doesn't quite ring true in that she said it occurs when parent and child aren't well bonded in infancy. we were VERY attached in infancy and toddlerhood, my family says too attached. so i don't know if it's an incorrect diagnosis or just a late-onset attachment disorder. the things we did in therapy didn't seem to help much but due to cost we didn't keep it up for long.
when DD2 keeps her up too much she comes into my bed to sleep. if i was to compare a typical good night sleep (ie, dd2 not keeping her up) in her own room and a night of sleep in my bed, i'd say they were pretty similar, she sleeps the same hours either way. if shes sleep deprived because of dd2 she's overtired either way, obviously.
what i'm toying with is the idea of bringing her to my bed on a regular basis, cause honestly, it seems like her behaviour/emotional problems are better on days where she's slept with me. most of the stuff i read about in terms of cosleeping/bedsharing involves preschoolers. she's 8 but is emotionally immature. does anyone have any thoughts on this? would bringing her to my bed help with attachment, or will it reinforce the immaturity? i don't know what to do. DH thinks she should sleep in her bed and so does my family, but if attachment is an issue, maybe this would help solve it?