I try to only dump on one person at a time so no one gets overwhelmed by my mental state. I just feel like I've run out of people to talk to... And I'm all depressed and super anxious and the buspirone that I was taking turned me into a zombie. The reasons are many--school, financial status, panic about the future, probably a chemical imbalance.
What it all comes down to is that I don't know how to survive on my own acceptance of myself. I keep feeling this need to be accepted by other people or groups. Every time I try something new, I feel paralyzed by memories of past failures. I'm not sure how to fix it. I've been through several therapists, lots of different meds (none of them are worth the side effects) and I'm trying herbs and things. I'll probably get over it and I'm just burned out and need a vacation.
I'm just really really messed up today and I want today to be over and also I want to hibernate for a while. Or cry or something. I don't know. I just feel at a loss. Thanks for listening.