Just needing a little support I guess. I have a few health issues and this pregnancy was unplanned, so it has been causing a lot of stress for us. Some days, when I'm doing better health-wise, we are happy, but then when my health is doing poorly, we are at each others' throats. Hubby is going through his own separate stresses, and he lets those get in the way of taking "better" care of me.....and because of my health issues, I do need a lot of help (errands run, food, patience, someone to go on walks with me (it makes a huge difference with my inflammation), etc). Then I get upset at him when he doesn't help. I feel badly, because he is dealing with a lot, in taking care of me. But it's hard for me to suffer and know he could be helping more. :( That hurts my feelings. I think to myself, must be nice to wake up feeling great then blow off your pregnant wife. Then my anger brews. Then I explode.
But I also get mad at him for thinking "his" separate issues are the end of the world, because they sound like fluffy issues compared to me going down a health spiral. Trust me, they are stupid complaints. And he gets soooo caught up in them, whiney, etc. He spends time on the phone with his brother, and his brother somehow makes him believe hubby's issues are the end of the world. I tell him to stop talking to his brother, because it's causing him to become gloomy (I think the relationship is toxic, because hubby's brother is very jealous of hubby and so says nasty and demeaning things), but of course hubby almost seems addicted to talking to his bro and being fed negativity. And then I get mad at him for whining and throwing a pity party, when I need him to run an errand. :( It is just a loose-loose. My health goes downhill without his help, or with his help, he has no time for himself (and I don't want it to be all about me).
We have no one here to help us. We have considered hiring a home health aide or a personal assistant, but it's very borderline if we could afford it or not. On the days hubby is happy to help, we both think, why hire someone? :( But then we have days like today, that are so bad, that I threaten getting an abortion and moving across the country to go live with my parents. :(
I don't even know where to begin making any of this better......
Just the stress of it all is affecting my health. We waste time fighting, but I am just so angry. :( I can't take care of myself and it is frustrating. I "need" the help, and not getting it is making me fall apart.