November 4th Weekly Chat Thread « Back to Group Discussions

[darkblue0729]

Hi mamas, I know that I haven't been on as much this past week, but you all have been in my thoughts! Kate I am sooo excited that you and Jude are going to get your homebirth! Kaliki, it's pretty awesome that you haven't been feeling the BH-lots of mamas feel discomfort during them, so it is great that your body in handling them in stride. Travelmumma it is super sweet that your niece and nephew know all about their birth story! Esp-LOL about getting "busted" :) Zebrachick-that is a great pattern-I made dipes for DD2 using that pattern and then made little PUL covers, this time I made a bunch of AIOs...so we'll see, lol. Purposeful-I feel terrible, I have had a box sitting in my mud room to ship out to you for like a month and I keep meaning to grab it and stick it in the van, yet I never seem to remember until I am already out of the house :( I am so sorry mama, I will get it out to you soon!!

AFM-Gabe's cradle is finished and in place, I've made a few cradle sheets, a sweet little woodland creature flannel bumper, and a quilt (I still need to make him a little fox and a little owl, lol) I've finished 2 dozen AIOs in a small size with 4 dozen inserts, I made a boppy pillow (for 7 dollars woot!) I recovered the combi corroco seat we're using for him, made a super cute mei-tai and a blanket that kind of matches, and have fallen deeply in love with little felt shoes-so I have been making them and thinking about making them entirely too much, lol. My birth supplies are all together....and I have started scrubbing walls and crap. Cieloazul-It has *totally* hit home that we are next! December is NEXT month!!!! I am hopeful as on Thursday the broker in NY said that despite the storm, someone who had looked at the house right after we put it on the market in interested and wants to look at the house again this coming week, I am sooo hoping it sells before the holidays. I also figured out what to do with her ashes: I have sent them to a relative of hers in Jamaica and they have agreed to sprinkle them on the Dunns River Falls (a place she really loved)...hopefully she finds some peace there.  I hope all is well with you mamas! 

[stegenrae]

Subbing before I forget

[Harmony96]

Originally Posted by stegenrae 

Subbing before I forget

me too. lol

[segolilymama]

Darkblue- I think sending your mom's ashes to Jamaica is a wonderful idea. I'll keep my fingers crossed that the house sells! Oh, and I have been wanting to make little felt shoes, too, but not knowing gender I don't know what to make. Good bed project for later though ;)

I'm having a bit of a scare here. I've been in bed for 2 days - my heartrate is racing like mad, at random times even when I'm just sitting here. I see spots every time I get up :/ And I have absolutely no energy. I thought maybe I was just tired yesterday - had to get up a bit early for DS's last soccer game, and had worked on Friday. But it's not getting better, and I really did nothing after coming home at 10:30 yesterday morning. All I've done today is fold 3 loads of laundry that were brought to me in bed, and gone into the kitchen. And of course, all the trips to pee lol. Anyway, it's got me freaked out about blood pressure issues - my BP has been in it's normal low range this whole time, but I know how fast that can change :/. I am well fed & hydrated, so I know that's not it... Anyway did a bit of research on Brewer diet for preclampsia, since I think this is probably BP related, and am going to make sure I get a high-protein meal or snack every hour for the next little while. Any other ideas or advice, especially helpful non-scary links, would be appreciated. Oh, and the best part is that my MW is in Mexico for 3 more days... I've been trying to track down the number for her assistant, no luck yet.

[Mamabeakley]

Practical suggestion: find somebody who can take your BP right away and FIND OUT.  That is scary.  Let us know if you can when you do find out.  Don't think I have any other helpful information, though :-(

Workin' away at work right now - will post more later.

[Jackies]

Sego, the racing heart might be worth a trip to a walk-in if one is available. You're in my thoughts :)

[sweetmilk]

have your BP taking rigth away. don't try to fix something if don t know what it is yet. I had preeclamsia with my first and is not something you want to be sitting on, it is dangerous. Once you found out well, you will have to stay lay down on your left side all the time and increase your vitamine D3 and proteines but it maybe to late to reverse it. And then 24 hours worth of  pee will be tested every 2 days to see if your kidney are failing . Mind were but my BP was not so high. And when they where thinking inducing and stuff. But I when in labor the day before the date the MW had decided. So I got the birth all natural like I wanted to. Got lucky. Wish you well and keep us posted.

[travelmumma]

Subbing and updating later with horror stories from my baby shower

[phatchristy]

Originally Posted by segolilymama 

I'm having a bit of a scare here. I've been in bed for 2 days - my heartrate is racing like mad, at random times even when I'm just sitting here. I see spots every time I get up :/ And I have absolutely no energy. 

Sego, that sounds more like arrhythmia than a bp issue.  The heart racing thing sounds like your heartrate not the blood pressure.

The irony was, this morning I was camping in a small group and two other ladies were there when one started having issues with her heart rate.  Then, the other one told me that she had issues during her second pregnancy (she said her heartrate would have episodes where it was between 180-200).  It took them a while to actually 'catch it' because by the time she made an appointment it would go away.  However, then in one instance it did not and as she was a nurse (at work) and they immediately took her down to the er and she said they did a bunch of stuff to try to slow it down naturally (I think she said something like icing certain areas, etc and a few other things sorry wasn't listening too well), which that didn't work then they wound up using some sort of medication.  Anyhow, just sharing.  I hope you can get ahold of your midwife. 

On a separate note, I was away camping with DS and his scout troop this weekend, well got back and DH had set up all of the Christmas stuff and brought down the baby clothes from the attic.  GREAT surprise!

Well, went through them and found a few pieces of baby boy newborn clothes (most stained with the breastmilk protein from sitting so I'll have to oxyclean out).  Couldn't find the maternity.  So he went back up in the attic to check and there were NO other baby clothes and definitely no maternity.  So I'm a little concerned.  I probably can deal with not having any maternity clothes the rest of the pregnancy (I have a pair of 3X pants I picked up for $1 that I've been wearing for cooler days that cover the belly), but I'm pretty darn sad about the baby girl clothes.  I don't know if he accidentally donated this stuff or what.  I am certain that when I sorted the baby clothes they were in there.  I found some older baby girl clothes, but nothing young (like no 0-12 month stuff).  Of course, this means this will be a girl!

[segolilymama]

Update: I went to the pharmacy to check my BP and it was totally normal (117/83). BUT my HR was 120 - just from walking into the store. Since coming home it's calmed down again, but had another spike then calmed down. So yeah, Christy, heart issue not BP issue.

I'm grateful that my BP is normal, of course. But the MW that is handling things for my MW is unsure what to recommend other than resting, drinking plenty of fluids. I've been doing that for 2 days with no change. It's scary to feel like I'm going to pass out every time I stand up. I'm going to keep a little HR chart for awhile, see what it is actually doing when it spikes up (it's way higher than 120 when it happens). Christy, I know how that woman feels - years ago I was having these kinds of HR issues, but I could never 'catch' one while meeting with a healthcare person. I sometimes wondered if they thought I was making it up!

[purposefuldoula]

OH man, Jen- thinking of you! I hope you get your bp checked out soon. Can't wait to hear your update! 

AFM- my mom has been here for a week and our transition has been a little bit more difficult than I expected. She's having a hard time taking direction from me, and I don't mean to sound barky but she doesn't know where everything goes/how we do it and we are sort of clashing. My latest thing is cleaners and detergents in our home. She doesn't see any problem with using mainstream products and I had my home completely free of them. Last week, I took a shower in our bathroom, only to find a giant container of shampoo in there. We haven't used regular shampoo in over a year.  Today I came home today only to smell the fabric softener outside before I even walked into the house. I about started crying. Now she says she will just go do them at the laundramat, though I think she's missing the point. I don't want our family to be breathing in all of those toxins but she doesn't get it. She doesn't think our clothes smell good, (they don't smell at all,) and wants her's to smell good. After not using commercial products for so long, the fabric softeners immediately gave me headache today. Then when I tried to talk to her about it, I feel like she was mocking me. Blargh.  It's just not what I was expecting. 

[esp831]

Jen-Yikes, I wish I had some helpful advice for you.  I'm glad to hear your BP is normal, but really wondering what would cause this heart racing?  I'm sorry you're not feeling well, and I hope you find answers ASAP!  I'll be thinking of you.

Natalie-I'm sorry things have gone askew with your mama, that does not sound fun at all.  She needs to respect your values and wishes if she's going to be in your house without eye rolling or other dismissive behavior.  How disappointing since you had such different expectations.  I hope she gets her act together soon and you all find a harmonious rhythm.

Christy-Sorry to hear about the clothes, what a bummer!  But it sounds like you have a very sweet DH.

Kelly-Your projects sound amazing!  You're creating such a wonderful, snuggly place for your baby, love it!

AFM, my quarter is getting increasingly busy at school and I'm trying not to panic and manage my time effectively instead.  My original plan was to continue with volunteering and other commitments until our due date, but now I think I'm calling it quits just before Thanksgiving instead.  I need some time to just be pregnant and a mama and to just be.

On a positive note, we had our VBAC birth class yesterday and it was wonderful!  Very therapeutic, lots of tears and cleansing and confidence building.  I really feel connected to DH and the baby as a result.  It was really nice to spend the entire day focused on this pregnancy/baby/birth.  With so much going on, I was worried that we were neglecting the poor little guy.  DH was so present and interactive, showing me how committed he is to being a fantastic birth partner, happy happy day.

Wishing you all a peaceful and restful week.  My next task is to get some belly pics up on that thread...I'm on a mission.

[zebrachick83]

Originally Posted by travelmumma 

Subbing and updating later with horror stories from my baby shower

Because that's exactly how you should feel after your baby shower, right?  I'm sorry.

[mamaharrison]

Sego--Had a friend who went through this on and off her whole last pregnancy and she said that Bach's Rescue Remedy worked well for her during her episodes. Also, talking to a friend or having some sort of mild distraction from her racing heart was really helpful. It did not impact her natural birth and she and babe were both healthy. I know she dealt with it for at least the last 15 weeks.
Glad it isn't your BP. Hope you get it sorted out though! The only time I have issues with HR is thyroid related--you may want to check your levels there.

Natalie--I TOTALLY get it! During my first trimester we lived in a shitty apt complex and the people who lived below us used fabric softener and commercial detergents {to which I am highly allergic and chemically sensitive} and we found out that the dryer vent was busted open inside of the wall and so the fumes were literally dumping into our home all the time. We lived there for 6 weeks and during that time I was so ill I couldn't get out of bed. We finally packed up and moved one day--broke the lease and everything--we tried to have the management company fix it, but they didn't care at all. It was a nightmare! I am chemically sensitive person and we have been free of commercial products for years, too. Growing up my mother knew I was allergic to many things yet used them anyways and even now she will spray perfume on herself while I sit next to her in the car or put lotion on herself in my house that has a horrendous smell that leaves me sick even after she is gone. It is really unreal to me that she could be so insensitive and careless of my health {I actually am currently not 'seeing; her outside of therapy--a few weeks ago I put my foot and insisted that we go to therapy so she can learn how to treat me. We have been involved in an abusive relationship for far too long now and it MUST stop.}. SO, is your mama living with you or staying for the birth of the baby to help? If she wants her clothes to smell good share with her that she can do EO on a washcloth and in the dryer! EO in vinegar + water for cleaners. I don't really think you are gonna be successful at having her not use shampoo--that is a BIG step for most people, but the soap she uses should be chemical free--dr. bronners smells lovely and cleans well. So, I would really just sit her down and explain that this is the way it must be in your house--no need to launder at the mat because those chemicals don't have a place in your home at aall and you can still smell them no matter where she does the laundry. She will have to get over it while she lives with you. I am sorry you have to deal with it though. Set your boundary for yourself and your family and KNOW that she will respect it even if she doesn't agree with it because that is the only choice. {hugs}

Kelly--your projects sound awesome! I wish I could sew! I have been thinking of you and sending lots of peaceful energy your way. I hope that you can release your mom's energy in a positive way for you both ASAP before birthing time. 

 

[stegenrae]

darkblue, your handwork all sounds fantastic. I love that you've sent your mother's ashes to Jamaica to be spread somewhere she loved. FX for the house sale--and is that the last of the estate issues you'll have to deal with??

sego, one of the other mamas I know who is due around our same time has had arrhythmia issues off and on her whole life, and they are just made worse by pregnancy. Her docs (she's high risk) have agreed that it's not anything dangerous beyond the dizziness and to take it easy (yadda yadda yadda). I had them before I realized I was pregnant last fall, and they seemed to get a bit better with an increase in calcium, sodium, and potassium. (I have since found out that my grandmother has some weird genetic blood thing where she needs extra of all of those, as do an aunt and uncle...and all of us also incidentally share a condition where our blood doesn't get rid of iron efficiently and it thickens. weirdness. anyway.) I'm glad it sounds like your household is all supporting your need for rest and healthy eating! 

esp, taking a break sooner than later sounds like a great idea...just gotta make it to TGiving, right? It's only 3 1/2 weeks away...  (<--TGiving was my deadline for everything. Was. Now I have to move it back a week, which will be 38w for me. too close for comfort, but it is what it is.) The VBAC class/experience sounds amazing! :D

christy, what a bummer about the wee baby girl clothes. :( At least your dh sounds like the sweetest guy ever! AND you don't need to worry about or bother with any holiday stuff...other than gifts, I suppose. :/

Natalie, what a disappointing experience w/ your mom. I second Dana on the use of EOs. For shampoo, I recently switched from no-poo back to shampoo (my no-poo method was irritating my scalp)--Beauty Without Cruelty brand. It works fabulously, but doesn't irritate my skin like most mainstream products, and only uses EOs for any scent, which is light anyway (but yummy). It smells great, too. Dr Bronner's never worked with my hair/skin, though we use it for mixing our hand soap (we use the foaming ones and add a couple drops of EO for scent). 

AFM, I went to a baby shower for the daughter of a friend from church this afternoon. It was so wonderful to be at a shower of a young mom who was genuinely excited and grateful for bags and bags of hand me downs! She got some new things, too, of course, but what I gave her were some cute (too pink for me) things that others had gotten while thrifting/garage saling for me. And she loved them. YAY! One of my other friends from church who helped host this shower mentioned accidentally that she was trying to plan something with a different friend for me. WHA? I don't know if it will happen or what it will actually be, but I am overwhelmed in a good way, yk? :) My 34w MW appt is tomorrow--DH is meeting the boys and me there before leaving town for another 3+ days. This was supposed to be his last freaking trip, but someone way high in the chain of command decided he needs to have one next week (I think?) too. No offense to those who live there, but no one needs to spend that much damned time in Albuquerque and Los Alamos! That's why I don't think we'll meet my deadline of getting everything marked off our lists by TGiving anymore. Tgiving is just before I'm 37w, and that would be comfortable for me. If baby were to decide to come before then, we couldn't have a home birth and most of our list would be moot, anyway. But NOW I have a week of "uncovered" time between possible home birth and getting our shit together...I don't like it. In the meantime, DH is looking into getting a different car since it's becoming apparent that 3 across in our older Prius is uncomfortable for my 7yo. He's looking at newer Priuses and at the new plug-in hybrid from Ford (which gets my vote!). I just wish a car company would wake up and make a good hybrid minivan already!

[segolilymama]

Stegan -move to Japan. You can get a Toyota Sienna in a hybrid. Seriously, I looked into it years ago when I had to switch from Highlander to mini-van. Sorry you lost a week in there - I'm sure everything will come together, it seems like it always does!

esp - so glad your class was a great experience! Yay for your Dh being the hero of the day :)

purposeful - yuck about your mom :/ MamaH had great suggestions. Moms can be so tricky, can't they? I always try to remember that my mom has the best of intentions, very little of the knowledge I have, and some great things to pass along. But it's still tricky!

AFM - I am going to see a MW today who is covering for my MW while she is gone. She is going to get labs run for anemia, thyroid, and just general checking things out. Apparently some of the severe anemia symptoms can match up to what i am experiencing, so I'm crossing my fingers for that - easy to manage & reverse. If needed, we will look deeper (cardiologist, etc). The best news is that I have heard from a bunch of people here & on Facebook stories of women with similar symptoms, that caused no issues with mom or baby. My biggest concern (aside from having something horrible happen, of course), is risking out of a homebirth... but that is not looking likely at all right now. Thanks to the universe for keeping me & baby safe & at home for this birth!

[Mamabeakley]

Hi, everybody!

Segolily, glad to hear that you are getting follow up and working on figuring out what is going on.  That does NOT sound fun.

Stegan, so sorry your DH has to go away again.  My DH wants to take the kids on an overnight to our old house in MD - I don't like this at all (I want to NEST.  It is hard to nest when all your nestlings and your mate are not present) but I agreed that it would be okay if he dealt with our shower situation first, which is the really big thing that has to be done before ready for baby here.

Esp, good luck slowing down!

Purposeful, that just sucks.  I am pretty sensitive to artificial fragrances, too and our old house was next to a neighbor who pumped out scented laundry air regularly - yucky, but because it was outdoors and intermittent I could live with it.  I second/third/whatever the essential oils for anything your mom MUST have scented.  There are some pretty good non-scented shampoos and conditioners out there - not necessarily chemical free, but at least they won't reek.  I use Stonybrook Botanicals Unscented because it's relatively cheap and relatively effective.  Arm & Hammer makes a decent unscented, fragrance free but still pretty mainstream laundry detergent (in powder or liquid depending on where you live). 

AFM, I am feeling proud of myself.  Last night and this morning I made a fleece panel to attach to my winter coat (cloth, because I'm allergic to wool and down) so I can be warm and cozy now - and I think I can flip it around and change the position of the buttons/button holes after baby is born to make it work as a front-carry baby-wearing coat, too.  Here's a picture: 

 It's probably the only thing I will make directly for me/the baby this pregnancy - working part time and homeschooling just do not leave me time for crafting.  But I like how it came out!

[purposefuldoula]

Thank you ladies, for your support in your responses! Things are MUCH better today with my mom, as we talked a ton last night, then slept on it, then talked more today about what's really going on. The reality and root of our issues over the last week is that we have both been on our own for the last two years and now we are figuring out how each other ticks again. Two years ago, we moved 8 hours away and within months, both my brother and sister moved at least that far away as well. She's used to being on her own and I'm used to taking care of my girls and husband without any outside help. So, yeah, there was bound to be some clashing, I just didn't expect it so soon! She's taking a few trips over the next month, so I think that will be good for everyone. 

kelly- I'm sending you out a small package tomorrow! I was trying so hard to get out of the house today, but after cleaning all morning, I was ready to pass out! Tomorrow!! 

mamabeakley- I LOVE your coat extension. I doubt it will get cold enough for me to wear my coat before this babe comes over here.  I'm actually writing up a pattern for a knit one with a hood for baby wearing that I'd seen on ravelry a few months ago. There was no pattern for that one, just a picture, so I figured it can't be too hard to write one up of a rectangle with a hood on top and button holes on the side. 

Rae- yay for a possible baby shower! And sucky that your dh is going to be gone again! I hope you get all of your hb stuff figured out/bought and ready to go. It's almost crunch time! 

Jen- it sounds like you are feeling a bit better today. Anemia can do freaky things, but is a pretty easy fix. I hope you find answers soon. Good luck!! 

[stegenrae]

I just almost passed out...had had a snack half an hour before, so it wasn't due to low blood sugar (it was carby, but not enough to spike my blood sugar, either). I hadn't just stood up or anything, but I was standing/walking. The room started tilting, so I sat down and had my 7yo grab my phone so I could call my midwife. She said I seemed "off" today at my appointment and wants to test my hemoglobin levels, as anemia is the most likely cause. (Sound familiar, jen?) A good friend is on call to get the boys if I do pass out before we go to bed (early) tonight; my 7yo knows to turn off the burners (in the middle of making supper so we can have some protein and veggies), then call her, then call my mw once my friend comes (5min away) so they can decide if I need to go to an ER or just to bed. I still feel a little bit dizzy, but not disoriented anymore. Hopefully the baked chicken and broccoli will make me feel better and I can just get a simple blood draw tomorrow, no big deal. 

My MIL is working this one last week before being permanently laid off starting Friday, so with DH out of town, she can't even come hang out for a while, either. :( 

This sucks. I'm probably just exhausted...I hear insomnia will do that. :/

[travelmumma]

Hi everybody.

Im sorry that so many of us are feeling off colour! Im hoping that the blood tests etc that are being run show us what it is and that its all easily fixed.

Had baby shower on the weekend. I cried for two days after that. Was not fun. Took a lot of debriefing and crying to move therough it all... Feeling much better now, and focusing on creating my positive birth space. Just veyr dissapointing and hurtufl is all.

Mother Blessing this weekend tho! We have belly henna, a candle ceremoney, making a beaded birthing necklace all lined up :) I might even make myself a flower crown to wear too :)...

It is a bit of a pity- we were meant to have it outside in my big backyard in a tent that i had made out of white sheets, but it looks like its going to be windy and rainy, so at the moment we are looking at inside options... hoping to figure something out that will be just as nice!

Other than that- baby is huge! I am growing at a crazy rate! We get birth pool this weekend! And im just about to finsih uni then go into hibernation mode! Exciting!

Love to all