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Keeping shoes on in the car - Page 3

post #41 of 64

I can't remember what it is called but Stride Rite makes this plastic thing that you can tuck the shoe strings into that won't let you LO pull the strings/shoes off. I got them in our local Stride Rite store for our Ds2 ...it saved my sanity. 

post #42 of 64
When you turn them around forward-facing they can throw their shoes at your head while you're driving (ask me how I know!)
post #43 of 64

I know how frustrating it is, I need a quick trip in the car and it ends up twice as long because we have to stop at the other end and put DSs shoes back on!

Quote:

I know that with some guidance and with a consequence that this is something DD is capable of doing. If after a few weeks isnt, then we will put the issue on hold or try something else. But for now, Im likely just going to go with my gut and make her walk while it's still only just a bit nippy. Also, she hates to be carried to the store.She always wants to walk herself, so it may be that I just dont let her walk because she has no shoes and then she has to be in a cart the whole time we are in the store. I do keep a pair of crocs in my purse for this purpose, and I guess I will switch those out for some rainboots.  I want her to associate her shoes with the freedom to do things on her own, because that seems to be the most important thing to her right now.

 

To some extent this is what we did, if DS did not keep his shoes on I would stick him in the buggy rather than put his shoes back on. He was old enough not to like it and I think it did have an effect. There were plenty of times when he'd end up asleep in the buggy making me feel at least part of the issue was things being 10X worse when he was tired.

 

We did make sure to try and include some trips to places he wanted to go (playground, library etc) to try and emphasise the point no shoes = no fun. The weekly shopping trip didn't quite do that for him :lol

post #44 of 64
Quote:
Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy View Post

When you turn them around forward-facing they can throw their shoes at your head while you're driving (ask me how I know!)

Ah..see we have learned the heavier the shoe the better she can chuck them! We have been injured by sneakers, but little slip on leather slides made for pre walkers only make it to past her feet. The socks end up in the back because she pulls them off with such force they flip over the carseat.
post #45 of 64

What kind of shoes is she wearing? My older DD's feet get very hot in shoes (she's about to turn 5 - it's 40 degrees outside in the mornings now and she still mostly picks her froggy sandals to wear, and will go barefoot outside quite happily if we are just playing outside) & I had this struggle when she was younger, before she could/would articulate what was wrong. Especially when she was still rear-facing, she would get very warm in her seat - even though I was often wearing my coat & keeping the car cold. Her shoes were the one thing she could kick off for some relief. Maybe you could try letting her wear sandals for a few rides & see if that helps? DD will still kick off her shoes if she's wearing sneakers or boots, but she tends to keep on anything light. Like other posters said, if she wants to wear shoes I know will be too warm for her, I just let her go barefoot until we reach our destination, though I certainly understand that it won't work for everyone!

post #46 of 64
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama View Post

Right.

 

DD will be RF until she's probably 4 years old. She weights 24 lbs, and is only 34 inches tall. Not turning around any time soon :)

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Boot View Post


O.T. but I feel this should be addressed. I know the OP knows this, but for anyone else reading this thread, it is MUCH safer to keep your toddler rear facing beyond the legal minimum of 1 year. These days some car seats can rear face to 45 pounds. I just turned my 2 3/4 year old as she has maxed out her seat but I would have kept her rear facing to 3 if I could.
For anyone interested there are lots of ladies hanging out in the Family Safety forum who are car seat techs. Also, check out YouTube for crash tests of rear facing v. forward facing. It's quite an eye opener.

Yes well, I survived childhood without rearfacing at that age, not to mention I was out a carseat completely at 2 with no seatbelt - obv I'm still alive today.  My DH is a firefighter, as was I, there are far greater things to worry about than what direction the carseat faces.  Rear facing at 4 is a bit extreme IMO considerring they ride a school bus with no seat belt you aren't exactly setting them up to succeed at proper car ettiquette going from a car seat to a bus.  

post #47 of 64

yeah, and we had lead in our blinds and lead paint on our toys and chewed them and had drop-down cribs and i rode in my mom's lap in the car and ate solids at 2 weeks! i am just fine!

post #48 of 64

i am on kid #4 and there is still no answer to how to keep shoes on LOL they just outgrow it, and you plan for it until they stop.

 

try to keep your vehicle clean enough so the shoes won't get lost once you are where you are going!

post #49 of 64
Quote:
Originally Posted by sassyfirechick View Post

 

Yes well, I survived childhood without rearfacing at that age, not to mention I was out a carseat completely at 2 with no seatbelt - obv I'm still alive today.  My DH is a firefighter, as was I, there are far greater things to worry about than what direction the carseat faces.  Rear facing at 4 is a bit extreme IMO considerring they ride a school bus with no seat belt you aren't exactly setting them up to succeed at proper car ettiquette going from a car seat to a bus.  

 

We were treated to less-than-safe car rides as children too, and while I survived, there are a lot of children not so lucky.  There are some sobering statistics on which children survive car accidents and which don't or have very serious injuries.  Rear facing for as long as possible is safer...its not clear to me why you wouldn't do everything you can to keep your kids safe.  As for setting them up for proper car etiquette?  So not concerned about it!

post #50 of 64
I also didn't ride in a carseat as a toddler. Mind you that was decades ago with much different amount of traffic and I wasn't in the car for 2 hours each day (not that uncommon these days). My parents weren't in the same situation that I am and didn't have the same information and resources that I do. They did their absolute best to keep me as safe as possible to the best of their knowledge. That's all I am doing for my child and wouldnt feel right doing anything less. It doesn't mean that I don't let her challenge herself or take risks, it just means I want to protect her in the case of a vehicle accident. It the last three years I was in two car accidents but not at fault for either. A moving truck rear ended me on the highway when its brakes failed and caused $3000 damage and shook me up pretty badly. An SUV sideswiped me when i was pregnant because the driver didn't check her blind spot before changing lanes. Baby and I were ok but my car was a write off. If I had my toddler with me and she got hurt while I KNEW rear facing was the safer option, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself. Why is that coddling or babying?!
post #51 of 64

This may not be what you want to hear, but I think sometimes it's best to adjust to toddlers as they are, rather than hoping they'll be different.  My twins would not keep their shoes on in the car, when they were toddlers.  So, I only bothered putting them on when they were getting out to go somewhere.  Then again, I wasn't pregnant.  So, I would suggest rubber boots.  They're easy for a kid to slip on by themselves.  They're cute.  You can buy liners to make them warm for winter.  I would not leave them on during the drive, so your kiddo doesn't have fun throwing them around the car.  Get her to the car.  Slip off the boots and keep them by you during the drive.  Make her put them on before she gets out.  Don't let her think it's a game, let her think if she doesn't hurry up you might just turn around and leave her.  Let it be her responsibility to keep up with you.  When she starts complaining about wanting to wear other shoes, test her out to see if she'll keep them on.  If not, back to boots until she's "grown up" enough to wear shoes in the car!

post #52 of 64
Thread Starter 

Well, this isnt really what this thread is about, but I cant not address the misinformation here. Firefighters do not equal car seat regulation authorities. Some of them are CPSTs, but that doesnt mean that they are keeping current and knowledgeable about the most up to date recommendations.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sassyfirechick View Post

 

Yes well, I survived childhood without rearfacing at that age, not to mention I was out a carseat completely at 2 with no seatbelt - obv I'm still alive today.  My DH is a firefighter, as was I, there are far greater things to worry about than what direction the carseat faces.  Rear facing at 4 is a bit extreme IMO considerring they ride a school bus with no seat belt you aren't exactly setting them up to succeed at proper car ettiquette going from a car seat to a bus.  

Well, Im glad you survived- but not all kids do. Let's face it, car accidents account for way more childhood deaths than fires. No offense, but I value the AAP recommendations over what the fire fighters tell me. Considering that the child death rate has decline by 41% over the past 25 years, so personally I think new regulations are worth taking a look at. The AAP sites a study stating that children under 4 are 75% less likely to die in an automobile accident if they are rear facing. 

 

You won't find a lot of support for telling people not to RF their child on MDC. Check out the Family Safety forum, where you can see numerous CPSTs who will attest to the fact that it is safest to RF a child until the car seat weight and height recommendations require that they be turned around. For us, that is 40 lbs. My daughter is tiny for her age, so she will likely be 4 when she gets turned. 

 

Internal decapitation front facing - google it. 

post #53 of 64
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama View Post
Gentle discipline does not always equal redefining what is okay for you and your family just to not make your child have to change her behavior. 

i so soo agree with this statement. 

Quote:
Originally Posted by supapfunk View Post

Duct tape! ;)

i was thinking this too, but seriously, is there something you can do the shoes that makes them harder to take off?  or maybe find a pair that lace real good and tell her she has to always wear them unless she can keep her other shoes on, that every time she takes off the shoes she picked out, that hte other plain shoes will be the ones you use when you have to put something back on, seems like it may work if she really loves her pretty shoes

Quote:
Originally Posted by sassyfirechick View Post

Does she weight enough to go front facing?  My DD went front facing at 9 or 10mos when she hit 22lbs bc it was too crammed in our car to have her rear facing, and she was beginning to wail on even short car rides when normally she loved the car.  Now she can see me and interact more with me and not feel secluded.  I also have an activity panel on the seat with flash cards and things that hang for her to play with otherwise she too would have her shoes off.

worst advice ever and illegal in most all states

Quote:
Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama View Post
DD will be RF until she's probably 4 years old. She weights 24 lbs, and is only 34 inches tall. Not turning around any time soon :)

great news

Quote:
Originally Posted by sassyfirechick View Post
Yes well, I survived childhood without rearfacing at that age, not to mention I was out a carseat completely at 2 with no seatbelt - obv I'm still alive today.  My DH is a firefighter, as was I, there are far greater things to worry about than what direction the carseat faces.  Rear facing at 4 is a bit extreme IMO considerring they ride a school bus with no seat belt you aren't exactly setting them up to succeed at proper car ettiquette going from a car seat to a bus.  

im going to file this with the folks that tell me that they CIO or spank and feed choco super frosty bombs and their kids are fine too!,

in the bad, short sighted, advice bin.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama View Post
Internal decapitation front facing - google it. 

yeahthat.gif

 

 

 

my boy is just hititng the shoe fiddling stage, so im right there with you, not sure what approach will be best on him yet, let me know what you figure out.

 

and i just ordered seats that have 50lb rear facing limits, year my kids will turn sometime near 5 and no i dont think its cray in any way, i have read the studies and unlike some super rare things that we do all kinds of things to avoid, car crashes are very likely, i have personally been in two that would have probably killed a forward facing baby, its a no brainer and little to no down side.

post #54 of 64
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama View Post

Well, this isnt really what this thread is about, but I cant not address the misinformation here. Firefighters do not equal car seat regulation authorities. Some of them are CPSTs, but that doesnt mean that they are keeping current and knowledgeable about the most up to date recommendations.

Well, Im glad you survived- but not all kids do. Let's face it, car accidents account for way more childhood deaths than fires. No offense, but I value the AAP recommendations over what the fire fighters tell me. Considering that the child death rate has decline by 41% over the past 25 years, so personally I think new regulations are worth taking a look at. The AAP sites a study stating that children under 4 are 75% less likely to die in an automobile accident if they are rear facing. 

 

You won't find a lot of support for telling people not to RF their child on MDC. Check out the Family Safety forum, where you can see numerous CPSTs who will attest to the fact that it is safest to RF a child until the car seat weight and height recommendations require that they be turned around. For us, that is 40 lbs. My daughter is tiny for her age, so she will likely be 4 when she gets turned. 

 

Internal decapitation front facing - google it. 

It's not misinformation.  We've both seen firsthand.  I wasn't making a comparisson to death by car vs death by fire - firefighters do more than just put out fires FYI.  I have no desire to read through the family safety forum as I'm a pretty common sense person and I don't fall into the media hype about everyday things that get blown out of proportion.  In this day and age you're more likely to die from cancer than in a car accident.  I pick my battles for my family's health - it's far more important to me that we avoid vaccines, unnecessary use of antibiotics, chemicals cleaners and lawn products...than to keep my child rear facing beyond the minimum requirement.  So my initial comment was completely valid regarding seat direction and giving your LO something to look at in order to keep her shoes on.  As for the googling, thanks but no thanks, seen far more firsthand that you could ever search on google and don't care to spend my spare time staring at injured kids, I prefer positive videos.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by crayfishgirl View Post

 

We were treated to less-than-safe car rides as children too, and while I survived, there are a lot of children not so lucky.  There are some sobering statistics on which children survive car accidents and which don't or have very serious injuries.  Rear facing for as long as possible is safer...its not clear to me why you wouldn't do everything you can to keep your kids safe.  As for setting them up for proper car etiquette?  So not concerned about it!

I do keep my daughter safe - I don't vaccinate after having poor reactions, we eat organic and don't use chemicals - things that have an immediate impact on her health and safety.  My car and her seat are plenty safe the way they are set up.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Adorkable~ View Post

worst advice ever and illegal in most all states

........

im going to file this with the folks that tell me that they CIO or spank and feed choco super frosty bombs and their kids are fine too!,

in the bad, short sighted, advice bin.

 

and i just ordered seats that have 50lb rear facing limits, year my kids will turn sometime near 5 and no i dont think its cray in any way, i have read the studies and unlike some super rare things that we do all kinds of things to avoid, car crashes are very likely, i have personally been in two that would have probably killed a forward facing baby, its a no brainer and little to no down side.

Illegal? I've read through the majority of the state laws, and nowhere do I see is as illegal to have a child over 1yr OR over 20lbs to be front facing so long as it is an appropriate restraint device.  My DD is in a seat that CAN rear face to 30 or 40lbs and she can ride front facing to 65lbs as per our state law for weight, but in our vehicle it just doesn't fit well rear facing and she's safer front facing than at the improper angle rear facing. 

 

I don't see it as bad or short sided - it is a viable answer to a problem. (And even though it may only be 'indirectly' directed at me, I don't believe in CIO, spanking, and my DD has never tasted sugar.)

post #55 of 64
Quote:
Originally Posted by sassyfirechick View Post

Illegal? I've read through the majority of the state laws, and nowhere do I see is as illegal to have a child over 1yr OR over 20lbs to be front facing so long as it is an appropriate restraint device. 

The law is usually 1year AND 20lbs... not whichever comes first. And the AAP now recommends rear-facing 'til at least age 2. This is not media hype. Car accidents are considered to be the leading cause of fatal injuries in children -- they kill more than drowning, poisoning, burns, falls, etc.

I know you're not interested in hearing this but I want to share it, should anyone else stumble across your post & incorrectly assume it's safe to FF whenever you want. http://www.rearfacing.co.uk/facts.php
post #56 of 64
Thread Starter 

The law here

 is one year AND 20 lbs. And regardless of the law, it says it right on the side of most car seats .

 

I called it misinformation because I want to make sure that other readers dont take your extremely dangerous advice. 9-10 months old is NOT okay to turn a kid front facing, and I dont care how much they weigh. It's hilarious to me that you dont eat chemicals and you dont vax, but you refuse to abide by car safety policies. That's kind of like my friends who wont use anything but vinegar to clean, but still smoke cigarettes. One safety doesnt cancel out another. 

 

 

Adorkable, so jealous of those seats :)

post #57 of 64
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama View Post

The law here

 is one year AND 20 lbs. And regardless of the law, it says it right on the side of most car seats .

 

I called it misinformation because I want to make sure that other readers dont take your extremely dangerous advice. 9-10 months old is NOT okay to turn a kid front facing, and I dont care how much they weigh. It's hilarious to me that you dont eat chemicals and you dont vax, but you refuse to abide by car safety policies. That's kind of like my friends who wont use anything but vinegar to clean, but still smoke cigarettes. One safety doesnt cancel out another. 

 

 

Adorkable, so jealous of those seats :)

 

I'm not looking to cancel out anything.  You however have gone above and beyond to insult every poster who does not offer an answer to your liking so perhaps you really didn't want advice. 

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy View Post


The law is usually 1year AND 20lbs... not whichever comes first. And the AAP now recommends rear-facing 'til at least age 2. This is not media hype. Car accidents are considered to be the leading cause of fatal injuries in children -- they kill more than drowning, poisoning, burns, falls, etc.
 
 

Not here, the law state 'OR', so no, I'm not picking and chosing like a buffet option.  And since clearly no one is reading my entire post, ie the main reasoning being the backseat of my vehicles does not accomodate rear facing at the "appropriate angle" therefore making it SAFER for my child to ride front facing.

post #58 of 64

I think extended rearfacing IS a very common sense thing. Its an insurance policy, and has very little, if any draw back. And in the event that there's a serious accident, which can happen to anyone, my kids have a much higher chance of coming out alive. This is good common sense emergency preparedness. None of my kids have ever been unhappy rearfacing. I don't understand "picking battles" in this regard. The term picking your battles usually means that if you enforce too many rules with your kids they're more likely to rebel and wear you down with power struggles.. so maybe you let them have a little soda at the restaurant that you wouldn't allow at home. Thats picking battles. I don't vaccinate, use lawn chemicals, unnecessary abx, or chemical filled cleaners either. Those aren't battles at all! Those are very easy choices of which products to buy/not buy and what to accept and not accept at the dr's office. Its not as if after all that I need to "let something slide". Leaving a car seat in the rearfacing position is not extra day to day work. It takes no extra energy/effort. This is not a battle, it is a very simple choice.

 

Anyway, I had an idea for the OP. She seems like she might be slightly motivated by and enjoy her nice, pretty shoes. What if you bought her an ugly pair thats no fun, but extremely easy on? (solid black rain boots?) Keep those in the front seat. If she has her pretty shoes on at the destination, she gets to wear them. If she takes them off, well, the consequence of that is you're going to put on the shoes that are easiest to put on.. and they just aren't very fun to wear. 

post #59 of 64
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by sassyfirechick View Post

 

I'm not looking to cancel out anything.  You however have gone above and beyond to insult every poster who does not offer an answer to your liking so perhaps you really didn't want advice. 

 

 

Not here, the law state 'OR', so no, I'm not picking and chosing like a buffet option.  And since clearly no one is reading my entire post, ie the main reasoning being the backseat of my vehicles does not accomodate rear facing at the "appropriate angle" therefore making it SAFER for my child to ride front facing.

No, in fact, I havent. I havent "insulted" anyone by saying that I disagree and that I know my child can do something different. I even apologized when I was snappy. 

 

Honestly, I find that when someone asks a question about how to discipline their child on an issue and they are told that basically, they need to stop expecting their kid to be able to do something, and not discipline at all, it's a bit insulting. I didnt ask for opinions on why I shouldnt care that she is doing it, I asked for opinions on what actions I could take to keep her shoes on. 

 

Regardless of why you turned your child around, the point I was trying to make was that you shouldnt go around saying "Well, i lived and I wasnt rear facing" because that kind of comment isnt helpful to readers who may not know why RF is so much safer than FF. 

 

 

 

 

On a side note, as an update from the mini van:

 

DD has been on a "no shoes off in the car" policy for 5 days now. I have kept a spare pair of crocs in my purse to slip on her if I have to. The first time she took her shoes off, she had to walk from the car into my moms house barefoot. She was not a happy camper about that. After we left my mom's we went to Target, and she told me she wasnt going to take her shoes off the whole way. She left them on. Then, when we left Target she immediately took them off so when we got to the grocery she had to ride in the cart because she didnt have any shoes on. Also, when we went to the bathroom, I had to pick her up out of the cart and put her directly on the potty because the bathroom floor was dirty and she had no shoes. Again, not a happy camper. We put her shoes on right before leaving the store so that she could walk to the car, and she didnt take them off.

 

That was day one. Since day one, she has only taken them off one time and it was when DH took her somewhere on day 3. He didnt let her walk and made her ride in the sling (she really wanted to walk). When they got back in the car, she said, "I cant take my shoes off in the van OR in your truck?" When we get in the van, I remind her not to take them off, and she usually says something like, "So I can walk by myself?" or "Cause my feet will get cold on the sidewalk?"

 

So, so far so good. Ill make sure to keep it updated. Taking away her independence is seeming to be the key factor here. This girl really wants to walk everywhere!

post #60 of 64
So glad to hear you seem to have found a solution! smile.gif
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