Weekly Chat Nov. 5th through 10th « Back to Group Discussions

[jodieanneanton]

Let's chat! :D

You can visit last week's chat thread here. 

[maydaymom10]

chapsie - I'm sorry about the dog, but am so happy that you have so many prospective homes for him. I totally get it. We have 2 dogs. One is 11 and the other 4. I've had the older one since she was a pup. They are great most of the time, but have definitely become more challenging in the last year, and I'm sure that it's because they have been ignored (as far as consistent walks and things) since DS was born. Lately the older one is getting more snippy with DS & has snapped at him twice leaving small marks on his cheeks. We're trying to teach him to be gentle with him, but I'm beginning to worry. If we had to give her away, I'm not sure who's going to want to take in a great dog, who is deaf & has cataracts. The younger one is better, but even he is beginning to reach the end of his rope when it comes to DS. So, we're  just trying to make due for now. I can't imagine what it's going to be like with 2 dogs, a toddler, and a newborn. Uggh. Hopefully we can make it work, but I don't think we'll be getting dogs again once these two have passed.

afm - I made a big step in working on my health & wellness over the past day or so. I made a great meal plan & got some healthy food last night, and then got myself to a fitness class today. I'm sore, but feel great... or will right after my nap . I'm going to try to keep this pattern up this week to see if it helps my overall demeanor, which has been a litte negative & I've been battling some depression. More like the blahs, but I just haven't been happy. I think most of it stems from the fact that I've been spending the past few months accommodating everyone but me. That needs to change, and this is a good first step. Also, we have an appointment with our mw tomorrow, so it will be good to check in and see how things are going. I'm a little worried about what she'll say about my weight. Not that it's high, but I feel like I've put on a lot in the past month - almost 10 lbs. That is insane for me. We'll see what she says. We also need to discuss if we're going to have another u/s since they think they spotted a 2-vessel cord during our 20-wk scan. I'm not worries about it overall, as everything seemed to be on track and our additional testing showed no signs of chromosomal disorders, but I just need to know the pro and cons of not doing a second scan at this point. Will let everyone know what we find out. 

Hope everyone's week is off to a good start. 

[nearlyelated]

chapsie - we're currently looking for a new home for our dog too.  We've had her for 6 years, but she doesn't get the attention she needs, and ever since our cat died last year she's been a little lost.   She's very social and not having anyone home during the day has been causing her to act up.  I need to dog proof the house every morning before I leave (make sure there's no paper lying around, barricade the couch, roll up the rug), and it's exhausting.  We've been trying to find her a home with other animals and owners who have more time to devote to a dog.  I have to say I'm conflicted though, since I wouldn't give a kid away if they misbehaved, and I don't complain (too much) about having to kid proof the house.  I've been trying to be more affectionate but my allergies act up sometimes, and we've been taking her to the dog park every weekend that it isn't raining.  I've also been looking at hypoallergenic cats, since my allergies make it tough to just add another animal to the mix.

I complete know where you're coming from though, and it's not an easy place to be.  Hopefully the home you find is perfect.

mayday - hopefully the results of your ultrasound are nothing to worry about and you get all the answers you need.

AFM - DS got another cold, and when he's sick he comes and sleeps in our bed nearly every night, so after four days of him breathing germs in my face I now have a cold too.  Blah.  But in positive news, we hired our doula(s) today, so I'm pretty excited about that.  I wish I'd had one last time around, thank goodness for second chances ;)  Also someone brought in Halloween candy at work, and I've been eating Whoppers all afternoon.

[Chapsie]

thanks, Ladies, for your kind words!  Our dog was picked up today by his new family.  My 2 year old was very upset and began to say "but I miss Lincoln!  He is ours!" I began crying.  It was my idea to give him up and I was very surprised with how emotional the whole thing was.  My 4 year old was a trooper, he kept saying, "don't worry, mom, I'm not sad.  I know it is for the best."  What a sweetie!  

We had a great last morning with the dog, walking him (in the snow!  Can you believe that it is already snowing??!) and playing in the backyard with him.  

I then took the kids to the zoo to cheer everyone up and we had a great day.

When we got hime, my 4 y.o. looked quiet and contemplative and I asked him what he was thinking about.  He said: "It's so quiet... because Lincoln isn't barking.  Because he's not inside anymore."  

I think we'll be ok, but it will take some time to adjust!  Pregnancy hormones aren't helping!  Thanks for letting me share on here, it has been so helpful!  

[spughy]

Chapsie I hear you on the pregnancy hormones.  I had a meltdown yesterday after I spent all morning doing housework, rearranging beds and stuff so DH and I could sleep together again, and baking a pie with DD.  Then at lunch I went to sit on the couch between DH (who had spent the entire morning - weekend, actually - working from home and taking up most of the couch) and DD and DD, who was watching a movie, immediately said "I can't see" so I went to sit in the kitchen.  Alone.  And then I just started crying and I couldn't stop.  The house had been a mess for a week because DH was doing renos and not putting anything away and DD had her art supplies all over the living room and books and stuffies strewn all over the place and I'd asked both of them to tidy stuff up multiple times and it hadn't been done - so the two other chairs in the living room I could have sat on in order to eat with my family and watch the movie were occupied by piles.  And even though I'd spent the whole morning (which was longer than normal thanks to the time change) working on stuff I felt like I'd just gotten nowhere and nobody cared about the stuff I HAD done... and, you know, the whole "it sucks to be me" routine.

Then I had to take DD to a playdate and escort her and her friend to the butterfly place and spending an hour in a "tropical" environment helped a bit.  When I got home, DH had managed to clear stuff up a bit and the chairs are all now inhabitable.  This morning I did our monthly finances (another thing that was pissing me off - it's one of my chores that I like to do ASAP when the bills come in but DH had been totally hogging the computer at times when I had the mental acuity to do it) and gave the dog a good walk (with bonus swims!) and our revamped bed is so amazingly comfy and I feel better about life in general.  I think I will continue to work on tidying things and get my cleaning neighbour in later this week to do a good all-over clean.

Maydaymom - I hope your mw appt goes well.  Congrats on the healthy - my standards are dropping ever-lower and I'm actually feeling good about managing to eat all the leftover veg and feeling pretty smart about sticking them all on a bowl of ramen.

nearlyelated - I hope your cold goes away soon.  The germ-factory aspect is my least favourite part of kids.  Yes, sharing is good, but...
 

[babytoes]

Mayday I hope everything goes well tomorrow with the mw. Hopefully the weight won't be a big issue, some women just put on more than others, and I think most mw's are more forgiving than OB's tend to be. 

Chapsie I am not really a dog person, but I had dogs, cats, and horses growing up, so I totally understand what it like to have to get rid of an animal due to reasons beyond your control. I think in the long run you will feel a weight has been lifted since you don't have to worry about him any more. And kids are pretty resilient, and with time they will be okay. 

Nearlyelated We have been lucky and haven't had any colds go through our house, yet. I hope you feel better soon, I always start dumping Vit C down every ones throat as soon as the first sign shows up, maybe it will help you as well.

Spughy Oh those preggo hormones! I hear ya, I started crying Saturday night over a dumb movie the boys were watching. It wasn't even sad! And everyone looked at me like I had 12 heads. I just blurted out between sobs "What?! You guys know I'm hormonal!"

AFM I have very busy week. Tomorrow I'm heading to the city (about 30 min from us) with MIL to do baby shower shopping, I am very excited! She's been a lot of fun to do this all with, and being her first grand baby she's really excited too. Wednesday we have our midwife appointment, and that's always fun. I am going to see if she can tell how the baby is positioned, my old midwife would always feel around my belly and say, here's the head, here's the butt, and there's a leg. I always thought it was cool that she could tell by feeling my belly. And then on Friday, I am getting my hair cut! Yippy! It's so unruly and needs to have the dead ends chopped off so badly, and I love my stylist, he's a really great guy, he's gonna be shocked when I walk in with my big belly! He knew we wanted to get pregnant, but I haven't seen him since spring, so he has no idea. I'm sure he'll fawn all over me! He's a flamboyant gay man, and is hilarious and sweet all at the same time. 

I have been feeling really great, I'm 23+3 today, and my little girl is a bump and tumbler! I love feeling her moving all over, it's by far my favorite part of being pregnant. I still have lots of energy, and can get most everything done without even trying. This is a bonus, because with the boys I was uncomfortable and felt pretty gross all the time. I was very worried I would have the same kind pregnancy, especially being 8 years older, as I have always had, but this time is so much better, thank God! 

Has anyone been getting the smiles from strangers when out and about? Today I was out for a couple hours running errands, and blown away by all the smiles I got, I am popping out right now (I will have DP take a few pics so I can post them), and maybe I have a slight "glow" since I feel pretty great, and I am sure that is contributing to their attitude, but I do not remember people being like this last time. Last time, I remember feeling like this lady...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjeIx1gUl6k

Love that video!! Haha!! 

Keep smiling ladies, almost all of us are either at half way or now past it, so we're getting closer! 

[SamSarah]

It is so lovely to hear everybody's weeks.

Over here, we hired a Doula which we both feel really good about.  Now, I have to let the other Doula we interviewed know we're not going with her. 

I'm feeling pretty good in my body.  We moved last week after traveling 500 km each way  for a memorial on the weekend before, and then getting sick after the move, so it's pretty easy to feel better than last week.  I cooked and baked yesterday in my new kitchen which felt great.  Normally I am someone who spends lots of time in the kitchen, but I have barely been able to boil water for tea because of all the smells since July. It felt great to be able to access this part of my life again. -- not to mention eating the  molasses gingerbread cake.  

I don't really feel the baby move, which makes me nervous.  But others reassure me that it's okay. 

This week, work (I was away a lot last week so there's catching up to do), Midwife appointment, some unpacking, and making a chiropractic appointment to hopefully help with how tired my legs are feeling.  

I wish everyone well.

Sam

[maydaymom10]

Originally Posted by SamSarah 

Over here, we hired a Doula which we both feel really good about.  Now, I have to let the other Doula we interviewed know we're not going with her. 

Congrats on finding a doula! I would worry about when you let the other one know -- it's part of the business. As a new doula myself, I've had more interviews that clients. I think most doulas know that it's about a connection and understand if it wasn't with them. 

I just wanted to say thanks for the words of encouragement about my appt & weight concerns. I'm not too worried overall about the weight, I think I'm just a little surprised because I only gained about 20 lbs with DS. Of course I was a in a lot better shape and more active during that pregnancy. My main concern in the quickness that these past pounds have come on. I know it's just part of it. 

[scruffy too]

These pregnancy hormones are horrible!!  I've cried more the last month than I have in years combined!  I lost it at the Dr.'s office today, manged to stop crying when she left, then started back up when she came back.  I'm pretty sure she now thinks I'm crazy.  Then I cried all the way home (45 mins).  It's like once I start I can't stop.  Agh!!!  But I'm glad to hear it's not just me.  Makes me feel slightly less crazy.  Thanks ladies!!

[Linnaea]

Originally Posted by scruffy too 

These pregnancy hormones are horrible!!  I've cried more the last month than I have in years combined!  I lost it at the Dr.'s office today, manged to stop crying when she left, then started back up when she came back.  I'm pretty sure she now thinks I'm crazy.  Then I cried all the way home (45 mins).  It's like once I start I can't stop.  Agh!!!  But I'm glad to hear it's not just me.  Makes me feel slightly less crazy.  Thanks ladies!!

Huge  I know how you feel, for some reason when I start crying it's very difficult to stop.  It's as if the act of crying adds fuel to whatever is causing me to cry in the first place!  And sometimes it's hard to pinpoint what exactly is making me cry or want to cry!  Really wacky stuff, these hormones.  Just know that you're not alone, we all go through that and I'm sure your doctor doesn't think any less of you.  The hugs are for everyone who is experiencing this :)

To give everyone a little chuckle, I kept seeing people post "AFM" in these threads and I was thinking they were talking to someone with that name   I looked for someone with a name that would fit that abbreviation but I couldn't find anyone.  It finally dawned on me today that afm stands for "as for me"  DUH!!!  I felt like a total moron when I figured it out but it made me laugh so I thought I'd share 

[babytoes]

Originally Posted by Linnaea 
To give everyone a little chuckle, I kept seeing people post "AFM" in these threads and I was thinking they were talking to someone with that name   I looked for someone with a name that would fit that abbreviation but I couldn't find anyone.  It finally dawned on me today that afm stands for "as for me"  DUH!!!  I felt like a total moron when I figured it out but it made me laugh so I thought I'd share 

It's okay, I just figured it out about 3 weeks ago! There are still a couple acronyms that I have no idea what they mean. I just continue reading like I have a clue, haha!

[maydaymom10]

Originally Posted by scruffy too 

These pregnancy hormones are horrible!!  I've cried more the last month than I have in years combined!  I lost it at the Dr.'s office today, manged to stop crying when she left, then started back up when she came back.  I'm pretty sure she now thinks I'm crazy.  Then I cried all the way home (45 mins).  It's like once I start I can't stop.  Agh!!!  But I'm glad to hear it's not just me.  Makes me feel slightly less crazy.  Thanks ladies!!

  I'm there too and especially today. I am just sitting here on the edge trying to hold it together before heading off to my appt. It's not helping that my self esteem is pretty low today as well. From conversations with DH last night, I'm now under the impression that I'm fat, dirty, and lazy. I know most of that is just my hormones making me take things the wrong way. It didn't help that DS woke up a 4:30 am this morning. He kinda went back to sleep in bed with me, but of course I didn't ever get fully back to sleep so I'm tired on top of everything else. I think DH could tell that I was off this morning and rightly kept his distance. 

[withlittlelungs]

chapsie- We are trying to find a home for our dog, too. We haven't had him for more than a few months, but it is still really hard. He is a puppy, and he just plays too rough with DS. I can't imagine the stress of having to constantly watch him after the babies are born. Yesterday I went pee and when I came back, DS had a huge scratch across his face. It really is just unnecessary stress. We are hoping that my friend will take him, but they aren't sure yet. 
I know that DS is going to miss him, and I will very much. He is my little snuggle buddy. Sending you big hugs        

scruffy- I have been a big crying mess this entire pregnancy. It is brutal. 

AFM- DS and I got out for a walk this morning. It was the first walk we took in a week. I have just been so tired. The weather was nice and it felt good to be moving (although there was a point that I really wanted to sit down and take a break). We walked to the polling place to vote. There were only a few people there, so I didn't have to wait in line  I was bummed that I didn't get an "I Voted" sticker. 

Now we are just relaxing. I could easily fall asleep right now. We are going to BRU later to return the car seat we bought weeks and weeks ago. There's no way we can fit 3 across with a monster Britax seat. After that I am going maternity shopping at Target (early xmas present from my mom :D ). I really need some bigger pants. 
We have 1 appointment set up to interview an OB. It isn't until the 19th but I am excited. She is the head of the OB department and highly regarded for performing VBACs. I'm not having a VBAC, but the fact that she does them makes me hopeful that she will be flexible with our plan to deliver the babies vaginally. 
We have possibly our last appointment with the MWs on Thursday. It makes me sad. 

[Chapsie]

Withlittlelungs:  You hit it on the head: it was unnecessary stress to have the dog in the house.  I found I was yelling at him all the time and I didn't like my kids to see me constantly disciplining the dog.  I find that now I have much more patience for my kids now that I'm not using it up on the dog!  My coworker who adopted our dog from us posted a picture of him to her FB today.  it was so good to see him.  He was sleeping on their couch (something he wasn't allowed to do here!) next to their other dog.  It makes me so happy to know that they are taking good care of him.  I thought about him all night, wondering how he was doing.  I think it is for the best, but it was a really hard thing to do.  

I am so excited about your little twins!  I am sad for you though that you now have to find a new provider; it is hard sometimes to find a provider that you click with.  I am hoping that your appointment with this OB goes GREAT and that you have nothing but peace about working with her!  My friend that had twins last year had such a beautiful natural birth with her boys.  I am looking forward to reading your birth story (if you care to share it!) after your babies arrive!

Babytoes:  thanks for reminding me about the resiliency of children!  You are so right... they will be fine!  In fact, they will be happier with a more patient mom than they would be with a crazy dog in the house, I'm sure!

Linnaea:  Thanks for clearing AFM up!  I didn't know what it meant, either.  

Scruffy:  Any particular reason for crying at the doctor's office?  Everything ok?  I mean, I totally understand pregnancy hormones exacerbating the tears, but anything in particular set them off?  

[Chapsie]

Babytoes:   about strangers-- I was at church the other day, and got stopped by 3 different people that all told me how lovely I looked and that I was "glowing."  I don't get it.  My face is broken out (thanks, baby girl!) and I feel super tired all the time.  I appreciate the compliments, lol, but it's hard to believe sometime!  

[Melany]

I seriously have been trying to figure out who AFM was for a few weeks, now. 

I'm with everyone else on this emotional roller coaster, but it appears to have hit a low point today. I did have the realization that during my first pregnancy around the same time I hit the same low. I had finally gone to the mall to get a new bra because I was falling out of everything I owned at the time. I was standing in the middle of the underwear section in Macy's and looking just lost because I had gone from a barely A (as in you don't need a lot of support) to who knows what. And the tiny bras I was used to buying had little to no straps and didn't go much bigger than a C. This grandmotherly type saleslady walks up to me and asks me if I need help. I promptly lost it and bawled out, "I don't know what size I wear now!" with huge tears pouring down my face.  Anyway, I had a similar moment this morning when I slept funny on my hip (the one I injured running a few years back) and it hurt to walk, sit, stand and move this morning. I'm bawling in the bathroom and poor hubby is just lost on what to do. After he left for work, I remembered the bra incident and actually started laughing at myself. But, it has not been fun to go up and down the stairs to my office with this horrible hip pain. 

[maydaymom10]

So the visit with my mw has helped to lighten my mood. I just adore her so much. I turns out that my weight is just fine and I actually haven't gained that much in the last month. Phew. She reminded me that between 20 & 30 week is when we put on the most weight. I had that in the back of my mind, but the reminder was good. We also discussed the extra ultrasounds and echocardio grams that the perinatologist suggested due to my 2-vessel cord. She's with me in that everything looked really good despite the cord and she doesn't feel that extra testing is necessary. Also, the perinatologist didn't call her to discuss me, which I guess he usually does when he's really concerned. So, I'm going to talk to DH tonight, but I think we'll skip the extra tests. 

Two points of really good news from the appointment. First, I get to eat a 3 Musketeers bar for my glucose test. WooHoo! Gotta love that. We'll be doing the test the next appointment, so I'll be about 27 weeks then. Also, she asked me if I wanted to come and assist her on a birth that she has coming up. Her regular assistant is going to be the doula at that birth and she'll need a hand. I am so excited about this because I really think it's the route I want to follow -- midwife assistant/homebirth doula. I can't wait. Hopefully the mama won't go into early labor next week when I'm out of town. So, I'm feeling a lot better now after everything. Thanks again for everyone's support.

[scruffy too]

Chapsie - great to hear that your pup is settling in!!  Too cute that he's got a couch and a furry friend, too.  At the Dr.'s office, she asked me about work.  I'll post an update later (maybe tomorrow) when I feel up to it.  But my blood pressure shot up to over 160 and I had to stay extra in her office until it returned a little lower.  And then the tech came in and said that the proteins in my urine were off the charts and the doctor said I'd have to get a bunch of blood test immediately (I think I had stopped crying by this point, but started right back up at the thought that something was amiss.)  Anyway, she came back in 5 mins later saying she's pretty sure that the strip was faulty because she ran the pee again and it's fine.  So I went in this AM to pee again, just to double check and we're all good.  But even when the test came back ok, I felt like crying and was kinda choked up, so I think happy tears are coming just as quickly as every other type.

Mayday - congrats on the opportunity to assist at a birth.  That sounds great!

My weight was the same at my Dr.'s appt yesterday.  I wasn't impressed how she went about asking me (but we've already determined that every. little. thing. is irritating me) but whatever.  Within the first minute she said "And how's your weight been?"  I said, "I don't know, the tech wrote it down for you, you tell me."  And since I couldn't remember what it was last time (they use kilograms, which I'm not proficient in) and it turns out it was EXACTLY the same as last month - which was down from 7 lbs from my first appt, so I'm gonna chat with my midwife about it on Friday, seems like I should have gained a bit... Oh well.  I'm sure if the baby needed more nutrients, I'd eat more.

[SamSarah]

Thanks maydaymom10 for the boost around letting the Doula know. 

scruffy too:  In terms of weight.  My midwife, who is one of the more experienced in Vancouver BC doesn't weigh me or track my weight at all.  She says it creates lots of stress and focus for both providers and patients and does not provide any useful information.  I knew that  I lost over 10 pound in my first trimester (due to so very much in the nausea department), and this wasn't a cause for concern for her.  I don't know what's going on for you and if there are other reasons to track, but I thought I'd share in the hopes that it may ease your concern.  

As for all those acronyms, I just glide by them, perhaps getting about %20.   I appreciate the translations when they come.  

[scruffy too]

My midwife hasn't weighed me yet, but I've just been telling her whatever it is at the doctor's office.  She says she doesn't care and if I stop telling her, it's up to me if she weighs me.  I kinda shrugged off my doctor's concerns about my weight when during our first appointment she told me I shouldn't gain ANYTHING (this sounded silly, so I ignored her).  However, I'm sure it's been sub-consciously screwing with me ever since.  I haven't tried to lose any weight, but I've had really bad food aversions and eating has been hard - especially the first trimester, but even still, I'm rarely "hungry" enough to eat lots, or snack between meals.  I know I'm healthy, but looking bad, I really wish the doctor hadn't said anything at all...

It snowed a couple inches here last night and everything looks really pretty.  But... my quad is in the shop (DP went through ice hunting last month, got the quad out, was pulled back home, and it was frozen SOLID) and I wish I had it so I could plow my driveway.  But DP and I don't have any plans on leaving the house for a couple days, so it's kinda nice.  Now if only we could stop nit-picking at each other, it'd be great, especially since it's our 2 year anniversary of our first date.