Weekly Chat Nov. 5th through 10th - Page 2 « Back to Group Discussions

[cabbitdancer]

Chapsie, so glad to hear that the dog situation is working out for the best. I'm sure that's a lot of stress off your plate.

Wonderful news, maydaymom! How very exciting that she has invited you to be a part!

scruffy, I didn't gain a pound with my daughter. I actually lost weight. This time around, I'm gaining like crazy. So, I think it is all subjective, following the usual "every pregnancy and every woman" is different. Bring it up with your midwife, and, if she doesn't see a problem with it, then I wouldn't worry about it. I might actually suggest telling your doctor, the next time you see her, that her obsession over your weight is affecting your stress levels and maybe she should lay off. ;)

[spughy]

I didn't gain much with DD - I've already surpassed my weight gain from that pregnancy, but I feel like some things are working "better" this time around.  With DD I never turned into a furnace (I wore a sweater at work the whole time) but now I totally am.  And I have a way cuter belly now.  Weight gain, shmeight gain. If you've got plenty to spare to start with it shouldn't be an issue one way or the other.

Scruffy I had to laugh at your quad issues - such a Yukon problem... I miss it sometimes. (Seriously I hope it's all ok once it thaws.) My mom is all happy because her new place (she moved in at the end of last winter) has so little driveway compared to the old house and its a "joy" shoveling it.  I miss the snow (sort) of - the sparkles and the ice fog around the river when it gets really cold.  But, I was out walking in just a turtleneck and a cardigan today, feeling the warmth of the sunshine on my belly, so there is some consolation in being a soft southerner now.

AFM (I figured that one out on my own!) - Last night at dinner the baby was kicking up a storm and DD and DH got to feel it for the first time.  The kicks made DD giggle - that really infectious little-girl giggle - then I started giggling too. It was wonderful.  Thanks to my newly comfortablized bed I've been sleeping well the last few nights and I actually made it to the gym today and had a good workout, and a lovely walk later, and it's sunny and now my sister is over to hang out and DH and DD are over at grandma's for dinner so my sis and I are going to make yummy seafood curry and then I'm going over to a friend's place for junky TV.  It's a good day :-)  Also I am wearing my new maternity tights and they are AWESOME.  Seriously there is nothing like a pair of good tights to make you feel great all day.  Now if only I had more than one skirt...

[maydaymom10]

It must be the week for these babies to really start kicking! Mine has become really active & I've read the same of a lot of others on various boards. It's a new experience for me b/c DS's placenta was anterior and I just didn't feel much (besides dancing on my cervix) until much later in my pregnancy. I got woken up from my nap yesterday with a long kicking session. So sweet, but I really could have used some more sleep since DS insists at waking up WAY too early.Oh well, it's a good thing 

I've decided to have a lazy day today. I'm hanging out in sweats while DS watches some movies. I might get motivated to get out later, but it's been a busy week and I wanted a rest. And I don't feel bad about it at all!

[Chapsie]

I've had anterior placentas with all three of my kids now... I don't know what "normal" movement feels like!  

I can feel my little one only at the very bottom, top, and sides of my uterus.  Nothing up front.  I was really hoping for a posterior placenta this time, but oh well!  

[scruffy too]

Cabbit - good idea about talking to the doctor - she already has the weight written for her on her chart, so there's no point verbally discussing it with me unless it's "abnormal" to her.

Spughy - My dad shovelled my driveway (very long and steep) the day before he flew back down to Victoria.  He's a Notherner, too, and missed shovelling "light" snow.  It was cute.  And it looks very pretty outside right now.

AFM - I had a nice lazy swim last night with DP.  Very relaxing.  Today we're going to insall laminate floor in our bedroom - shouldn't be too bad, but we need to get motivated and start soon!  We're having a nice relaxing morning so far.

[cabbitdancer]

I'm tired. I've been staying up way too late trying to keep up with my word count for NaNoWriMo, and not taking naps to make up for it. We found out today that my husband's car needs a lot more work than expected, so... here we go with yet another round of car drama and trying to find the funds to pay for it. Ugh.

We had our ultrasound, today, and I am totally flummoxed. I was not expecting it to be a girl. I am really happy that my daughter is going to have a little sister, but somewhat disappointed that we won't be having a boy. I am NOT giving this whole pregnancy thing another go in the hopes of getting a boy, either. I know better. ;)

The high risk OB we saw today was very... unsupportive. From his tone and the way he said things, he doesn't think I'll have a VBAC. I'm glad he's not my main OB, but only support, and that there is more than one high risk OB in this particular practice. I don't like being told that I'll probably have to have a c-section, when I've been keeping my sugars really well under control. If I have to, I will change practices in the eleventh hour, in order to find the support I need, but I'm really not looking forward to the fight that may be looming in my near future.

Enough doom and gloom, though. I made some amazing dirty rice, last night. I shall have to share my recipe. :)

[scruffy too]

Cabbit - congrats on your girl!  All you gals that weren't on team green made it SO hard to look away at my ultrasound last week!!!  I'm hoping for a girl, but would obviously be happy either way.  But everytime someone posts that they're having a baby girl, I just want to share in their excitement!

[maydaymom10]

Cabbitt - congrats on the girl. I'm sure the gender disappointment will subside once you see her. I'm also sorry about the negative doc that you saw today. I just really wish that docs would give our bodies the benefit of the doubt that we CAN have successful VBACs and let us try before condemning us to repeat c-sections. I would try to brush him off as much as you can and focus on your intuition that your body can handle a VBAC!

Lazy day was just what I needed. I'm ending it with some really yummy potato soup that I made. Now if DH would only go get me that ice cream that I'm craving...

[akind1]

Cabbit: what was his logic on the VBAC? Is it just the GD? I can't speak from experience with that, as I've never had it, but I know plenty of women with GD (and with Type 1 diabetes) who've delivered vaginally. When I had my VBAC the doctors main concern was me going into labor on my own - since they are very, very reluctant to induce VBAC patients.

Hooray for girl!

This is the first pregnancy my intuition was right, (or that I even had intuition) and very happy to be having a boy. I have one of each already, and I love that my middle child will be the only girl. I love girls, really, I love dressing them and stuff. but it gets expensive!

[BeantownBaby9]

goodness I have missed so much.  Just when I wanted to dive back into being a regular chatter, I had 48 hrs last week to interview for a job and at 6pm Fri night found out I got it, so this week has been crazy with trying to transition everything.  I hope everyone is having a good week, happy with the election being over, and lots more baby kicks.  I got dropped by my OB practice yesterday when I asked I said I wanted a homebirth but to continue with co-care.  I should have phrased it differently b/c I could still be with both but its ok.  Happy Healthy Homebirth here I come. Had my big US and little Griff is a handsome dude just like his big brother.  Long legs that measure almost a week ahead of the rest of him, and big wide feet like his daddy.  

[Melany]

BeantownBaby: I'm so sorry to hear you were dropped by your OB! What a jerk. My OB has been nothing but supportive of my home birth. He had some questions, like what made me not want a hospital birth and I think they will help other women. I'm tempted to write it all down and send him a nice letter on the subject. Congrats on the new job!

Cabbit: I'm sorry you had such a negative response from the OB on a VBAC, but keep yourself prepared and hire a doula. :)

AFM: My mother spilled the beans to my OB brother that I am planning a homebirth after I specifically asked her not to tell him. I haven't spoken to her in a month since that because I know I'll yell at her. My brother called and says " We HAVE to talk about this home birth thing." Oh, this made me mad. Then I start pointing out why I want it AND that my current OB is supportive so it's none of his business. I also point out that the hospital where we live has a 35% C/S rate and I don't want to contribute to that. Brian mentions that the hospital he works at in CT has a 50% C/S rate. NO WONDER he is so against it! He has no clue. Anyway, will not be fielding calls from my brother for a while.

My 8 year old is having day time wetting accidents. He sleeps through the night and remains dry, but I have no clue what has changed at school. I think he's scared to ask the teacher to go to the bathroom. She rolled her eyes when I brought this up, but just because it's a silly fear doesn't mean it's a fear you don't address. Hoping to work through this situation, but I am NOT impressed with the way the teacher handled it. She brought it up in front of the entire class! Why? To expose him so the other kids in school can pick on him? What purpose does that serve? Then when I dropped by school with dry pants she laid into me with all her frustrations on this issue, goes on and on how it's been going on all year. Nathan walks out of the bathroom and she sees him and continues to tell me this. She then goes on and on how his 2nd grade teacher mentioned it was a problem. She then says IN FRONT OF MY CHILD that there is something wrong with him mentally and physically. I ran into his 2nd grade teacher after the PTA meeting and she didn't express it as a major problem, just him waiting too long, not at all like the 3rd grade teacher basically told me. We are going to the principal today, but what damage did this woman do to my child?

[akind1]

Melany: I would be beyond livid, if that were my child. As it is, I think I'll store that one in the bucket for reasons to tell my sister (who is a elem sch teacher) why we plan on homeschooling. Shame and humiliation are not the positive behavior modification tools I think educators should be using. UGH. And yeah, most fears are silly fears, but whatever, you still address them. I hope the principal steps up.

Beantown baby - sorry the OB dropped you :( but hooray for homebirth. It just isn't an option for us (for a lot of reasons) but I think it SHOULD be an option for most women.

a 50% c-section rate! how awful! I had a primary c-section, but if I'd had a doula (or a good nurse) that likely could have been avoided. As it is, There are concerns as to whether or not the hospital I plan to deliver at and my insurance company are going to continue to do business together. This is the best hospital and practice for VBAC in my area (and the closest) and if the contract terminates, it is going to suck switching OBs at 25?ish weeks and finding another VBAC friendly hospital. There is at least one other in the area that has an active ban on VBAC. Idiots. I hope the contract renews and it's not an issue, but man . . . I don't need this stress.

[cabbitdancer]

The OB who was all doom and gloom on me is, thankfully, not my primary OB, though my fear is that my OB accepts his advice, since it was my OB who sent me to see him. As far as I can tell, OBs get twitchy at VBACs, and they get twitchy at diabetics, so, being both, I would probably send some OBs into seizures. What I've read on the subject is that there is a greater risk of stillbirth in mothers with diabetes who go past dates due to premature aging of the placenta. And then, there is the usual concern of the too big baby, coupled with the fear of uterine rupture, and they won't induce me, and don't want me to go post dates. I'M not afraid, so I'm hoping my OB will take my cue. I figure, though, that they're likely to have me doing bi-weekly NSTs and, if those are okay, my sugars are okay, and my kick counts are okay, he can take his concerns and shove them.

My mom also gave me serious grief, last night, about refusing to tell her the sex of my baby. She called me all kinds of names and told me that I was sick for playing games with her. (My mom has serious mental health issues, so I should have known better than to share the photo of the baby when I knew she was going to ask). I told her that this was my daughter's secret, and it is going to be my daughter's prerogative whether she tells or not (which I'm sure she'll be more than happy to do, but she was already in bed when I finally got around to taking a picture of the printout and sending it) and whether she's told me or not is irrelevant. It got under my skin, this morning, and I spent an inconsolable half hour in the shower, bawling, because my mother is the sort of manipulative narcissist who is not above stooping to name-calling and emotional blackmail to get what she wants. Graar.

Melany, I, too, would be angry, if this were my child. The teacher should know that shaming him will only make matters worse, but, having been frustrated with my daughter's own inability to get up and deal with her bladder and/or bowel, because she is too busy, or doesn't recognize the signs, I can understand her frustration. However, she is a teacher, an authority figure, and she should know better than to let her frustration get the better of her. Sounds like your brother needs a swift kick in the pants, too. Hopefully, your birth will open his eyes to the possibility. A 50% c-section rate is outrageous. I don't care how many of those are "high risk" cases. That's still way too high.

Beantown, congrats on the job. I'm sorry the OB dropped you. Trust in yourself and your midwife, though. Having an OB in the event of transfer can make transfer easier, but sometimes, they're just not worth the hassle. ;)

[akind1]

All the extra tests at the end are no fun, but for me, worth it to not be automatically sectioned. I switched OB practices at 30 weeks last time because the original one wouldn't let me go post dates. (I am not diabetic, just technically obese, and obviously a VBAC). sorry you have to fight. I hate that any woman has to fight for the opportunity to have a TOL. I understand, to a point, why woment with VBA2C or VBAMC have a struggle - there is an increased risk - but my gut feeling is, given the right environment and monitoring, there isn't any reason to not let a woman try.

I went to 41+6 with both pregnancies and really hoping this one doesn't take that long, but my OB seems to think that it's likely and is unconcerned - she's like, well, some women just cook babies longer. It's not a big deal. (thank God for that attitude. I need it) Though, honestly, I really, really hope this baby doesn't want to cook *quite* that long! I ended up using a breast pump to self induce last time, since it was coming down to the wire.

I am sorry you are having family drama. That sucks.

[spughy]

Melany I would be really angry with that teacher as well.  I would ask her if she really, honestly thinks that shaming him in front of the class will HELP him or if she's simply acting out of frustration.  I can understand the frustration, but it goes with the job - I mean, is there a teacher on the planet that isn't frustrated by at least one student every term?  If she can't handle it like a grownup, she shouldn't be a teacher.   And your brother is delusional - here in BC, not 100 miles away, our government is ACTIVELY PUSHING FOR MORE HOMEBIRTHS.  Tell him to call up our ministry of health and have a chat with someone.  Or pick a European country and call them.  It's not like your current policy is resulting in super-awesome perinatal mortality rates or anything - pretty sure the regions in Canada and all the other western countries that are cool with homebirthing rank better than the US on that score.

Cabbitdancer, I also don't get why having a c-section is LESS risky for someone with diabetes??? That doesn't make a lot of sense.  Surely major abdominal surgery is harder on the metabolic what-whats than delivering vaginally?

Hugs to everyone who's having OB trauma, family trauma, pet trauma or any other kind.  There should be an anti-trauma bubble that you can get while pregnant. 

AFM I'm doing fine.  DD's school had a beautiful Remembrance Day ceremony today and then I went to the fabric store to get material and stuff to make her birthday present.  She loves "old-fashioned" dresses but of course they're hard to come by even in thrift stores, so I've made a few for her and she always ends up wearing them way more than I'd anticipated.  She outgrew the last one in the summer so I'm making her a new one.  Her birthday's in 2 weeks, so I'd better get cracking. 

It's lovely and sunny today and I'm looking forward to my daily walk despite the cougar sighting 2 blocks from my house yesterday.   It's not like I live anywhere NEAR the woods!!!

[withlittlelungs]

Beantown- Congrats on the new job!!! I'd say sorry about your OB, but I am happy that you are going with your desire to homebirth!!
Melany- I'm sorry that your mother told your brother. That is exactly what mine would do, too. We are planning a homebirth, and I'm not even sure that I am going to tell my family about it until after it is over. It is added stress that I don't need. I know that they won't be at all supportive. 
Cabbit- I really hope you get your trial of labor. I am going to be crossing my fingers for you so hard. Definitely don't hesitate to keep looking for an OB if your current one decides to turn it into a negative! As for your mother, I am so sorry that you have to deal with it. I have to deal with manipulative BS and name calling with my mother far too often. I think it is so special that you are letting it be your daughter's secret and give her the power to tell people!!

AFM- Our birth plan is completely up in the air and will be until at least 32 weeks (if baby A isn't vertex by then, it isn't likely that he will be and we will just plan a hospital birth). If the babies stay put til at least 36 weeks and everything else looks good, we will be doing a homebirth  If anything else changes or if we just decide that we are going to birth in the hospital, my favorite MW in our practice is going to be our doula. It is a huge relief. I have a meeting in a week with a maternal fetal medicine doctor/OB and if all goes well she will be our back up. She is highly regarded for her VBACs and she is the head of the OB department. She will deliver twins vaginally and a breech baby B. I am very hopeful that if I have to deliver in the hospital that I will get a much better experience than I did with DS. 
DS is sick. Wasn't feeling great earlier, but now I'm thinking that I may have avoided the worst of it. The poor kid has snot running out of his nose and a congested chest 

[Melany]

We took my son to the pediatrician to rule out a UTI. I'm going to be proactive on this thing. The pediatrician suggested a urology program through Children's hospital and the University of Washington. They will check for any physical problems and also do some counseling. So, maybe there is a problem, but we are now addressing it now that we are actually aware of the problem. We have a parent teacher conference scheduled for next Friday for the end of this semester and I am going to go in with the information from the doctor, the information I've gathered from the 2nd grade teacher and talk calmly. We have not had a chance to talk to the principal and I really need to make sure that her shaming him is addressed. It was not ok. I'd also like a better understanding of what happened in the classroom because during her frustrated vent she made references to the other kids saying he did this all the time. I need to know how and why the entire class was involved in this situation and why she didn't respect him enough to show some discretion when it comes to what will be a very embarrassing moment for a 3rd grade age child. I'd also like to know why he was removed entirely from the classroom and not welcome back when he had dry clothes without intervention from me or the principal. I'd also like to know why she as the grown-up was unable to pull me aside and not comment on my son's mental capabilities in front of him. The kid reads grade levels above other kids his age (he just finished the Hobbit in 3 days of reading during the school week with an early bedtime), he was asked to take the test for the gifted program last year, but she thinks he's mentally challenged and felt it was ok to say that in front of him? Ok, maybe I can't be calm during the discussion, yet. 

Cabbit: Sorry to hear about the mom issues. I have similar issues with my mother. I really wish she and I could have a normal, adult relationship, but that isn't ever going to happen. It is hard and I hope I can figure out how not to be that way towards my own daughter as she gets older. When she's 20, I want her to come to me with adult problems. My mother was never capable of that and it's taken a long time to realize that. It's been eye opening to remember her own relationship with my grandmother and to look back at my memories of that. They never got along. Grandma wasn't open, mom hid things from her. I don't think they ever got past the issues they had when mom was 13 and starting to exert independence. 

akindl: Love your OB's attitude. I wish there were more like that. :)

spughy: I need to get on my sewing projects, too! I have some lined up and a few of them are gifts. 

withlittlelungs: Your birth plan sounds great even if it is a little up in the air. I'm glad you have someone who is willing to work with you. 

[cabbitdancer]

withlittlelungs: That is amazing news. :D

spughy: Diabetics actually have a greater risk of infection issues with surgery, too, which is something I intend to bring up if they start giving me grief.

Melany: i'm glad to hear that you guys are getting things figured out. I hope the testing brings some results, and I hope the teacher learns something from this experience, rather than being allowed to simply brush it off as another crazy parent being overprotective of their kids. Goodness knows there are enough of those, but this is definitely not that sort of a situation.

I, too, hope that my daughter can trust me, as she gets older, to handle her issues with a clear head and an open heart, because I learned fairly early on that my mother was not available for those sorts of things, and I missed that mentorship. I suspect it may be part of the reason so many of my friends are my mother's age; I was trying to fill a gap.

I also have sewing projects I need to work on. Mostly stuff for my daughter that I've been meaning to work on and just haven't. I was going to make her a jumper, and I have a pattern for a My Little Pony plush that I've adapted for one of the little ponies, but I have to actually get around to using it. :P

[Linnaea]

withlittlelungs: I've got my fingers crossed that all goes well with your little belugas and you get that home birth 

Melany: I'm sorry you're dealing with so much stress  I hope your concerns are taken seriously at the parent-teacher conference and that your son feels better soon.  I also would be very pissed if a teacher acted that way towards my child.  It's simply not okay.  

cabbitdancer: Oh no, I'm so sorry you're mom was so cruel towards you   She does very much sound like she has serious mental problems.  My mother has mental issues as well--when I was younger I would get really hurt if she was cruel.  These days, I keep my distance from her and if she does something hurtful then I tell myself that it's because she's ill and there's nothing I can do about it.  The distance helps a lot and lowering my expectations greatly has as well.  I don't expect much from her, even kindness is something I don't expect anymore.  This helps tremendously when she acts far from kind.  It hasn't been easy, I've had to consciously remove myself emotionally from her, it definitely took a lot of focus and time to achieve.  I feel a heck of a lot better, though, so it's all been worth it.

AFM: We are getting ready for our move at the end of the month.  I hope it all goes smoothly.  I can't wait to be settled in our new place!  Transition periods are always the hardest for me.  My birthday is also at the end of the month, which means it'll probably get washed over by the stress of moving.  Blah, oh well, I'll sing happy birthday to myself, at least 

[chocolatechip]

Hey all! I've been so busy, I haven't been able to check in for a week and a half. But before I do, do we have a new chat thread up that I'm missing? I've enjoyed reading through all the posts I'd missed. Hugs to those of you with OB issues, mother issues, trouble with crying, giving up pets, moving...  And at the same time, I'm happy it seems like everyone can still see the positive parts of their days as well!