Several PP's have wondered if anyone knew of any other sites that the original MDC'ers (or at least the folk who are having kids now who would be of the same mindset as the older MDC generation) - where have they gone to? In reality I doubt there is such a forum out there, but does anyone know? Did they all just take to FB in little groups, and/or just quit forums altogether? I'm sure people haven't quit living that sort of lifestyle, but where have they gone??
What happened to all the faith? - Page 2
The lounge is completely inactive as well-I don't even understand why they have it when it's impossible to get access. Cynthia mosher finally granted me access-and I didn't even pos bc I had my baby the next day.
You're better off looking through the old posts or going to Laura shanley's forums and searching through old posts. All your questions have been answered and its much faster and easier to look for the answers already posted, rather than sit and wait for your questions to be answered.
i posted a ton on here 3 years ago as i UP'd and then my entire UC experience with pictures. Then i ws burned/hurt really bad by trolls. Someone sent me a link that lead to a website of trolls taking my beautiful birth pictures and birth story and many women ripping them apart with their ugly words and ignorance. This all happened days after my UC and ruined my babymoon. I have just now returned after 3 yèars to this board and i feel very timid at sharing anythi g.
Slingmama I'm sorry you were blasted. That would make me gun shy too. I agree though that some of the post seem a little troll like, things just seem so different since I came back after my HBAC a couple years ago. It's disappointing. The unfortunate thing is that those of us who are looking for guidance and resources are left to try to find a support system that doesn't seem to exist anywhere.
I agree. I only came here infrequently when I was pregnant almost 4 (?!?) years ago with DS, as I was intrigued with the idea of UC, and very interested in learning more. Could they not make the UC sub-forum private, as they did similarly with SA sub-forum, and only allow people who meet "X" criteria in? I posted a thread a little bit ago, but after reading this thread, I guess I'll just go back through older posts (I suck at using search stuff. )
The subforum is private. I applied for access shortly after it was created, but didn't get in. As I'm preg again, I'll be applying again and maybe I'll make the cut this time. There are whole sites devoted to helping trolls gain access to the private forums on MDC, though. It's not like these trolls just flit by, get board, and leave. This is a hobby for them. There are trolls with post counts as high as you or me, nowadays. The last time I was planning a UC, I came in here some but found a couple of yahoo groups with great ladies and info and no tollerance for trolls. That's where I ended up spending most of my time.
I'll tell you what happened-- it became overrun with trolls and no one trusted anyone anymore. It was to the point that people had numerous false identities, and we weren't even allowed to say "troll" anymore, and if we even so much as disagreed with someone we got spanked. It became a ghost town when trolls who hated us with a passion outnumbered actual UCers here. You can easily turn a place designed for help into a playground for the mean-spirited. All it takes is no one standing up for themselves.
It's hard to find public support because anything you can access publicly, so can they, and it's a big hobby of theirs. Still, some communities manage to moderate fairly well and keep a level of support. Some decent bets are Facebook pages: In Search of the Perfect Birth, Unassisted Birth/Freebirth, Undisturbed Birth, and several others like that. Even deeper, you'll get some of the best support in private groups, if you end up stumbling into them accidentally. You are NOT alone, and it sucks, but support will not come easy. The internet is a vicious place. Read lots to gain knowledge, and retreat within when you want peace and comfort. You knew you could birth alone, so you CAN.... internet communities will not be the answer in the long run. Peace.
I'm a long-time UCer. 12 years of research into birth and UC and I had my first child UC 4 years ago and my second UC nine months ago.
I wasn't here when the trolling occurred. I sort of backed out of MDC when the magazine stopped. It seemed like the site was overrun with new members who had no idea of what MDC was about and there was so much bad advice. I completely gave up. No one was posting anymore that made things worth it. I check in from time to time to see what's going on. I'm sort of glad it was just trolls scaring everyone away. Since I never saw any trolling, I figured that moms just were not UCing anymore. Like we had hit our peak and just sort of petered out.
I'm in a private group on FB which posts several times a day and they handle trolls pretty well, but they also are rabidly against anything NOT UC and you are really not allowed to talk about any other kind of birth. I guess that makes sense, it just gives it a slightly hostile feel if a mama mentions anything even remotely having to do with not completely having 100% faith in your body. Even mamas who suggest or ask about herbs for hemorrhage or what supplies they might need do on occasion get a little finger wagging. Still, it's the best group I have come across. I just wish I could find something that's friendlier to ALL kinds of UCers like MDC used to be. :(
This thread is a real eye opener for me. I've had 6 births - which means 2 midwife attended homebirths, 4 freebirths and this thread explains a lot for me. I came here pregnant for the 6th time and anticipating a possible multiple pregnancy when I was sideswiped with enough negative feedback to convince my husband and I that it was detrimental to my pregnancy to be looking for support here. So I left, determined to wait and come back when I was finished.
Now I've had my babymoon and feel strong enough to post here again. I did have another place I post, one that I'm actually the owner/administrator of, a place that is about outside the box birth, whether homebirth or UC or even hospital birth. That place is really small due to the fact that I have to personally register each new member to keep out trolls, so my friends and I have to personally meet friends and invite them. But at least it's alive with activity, daily visits and almost daily posts. It's hard to avoid trolls, that's the point. And it really matters to pregnant women if there ARE trolls cutting others down.
I really sympathize with Cynthia Mosher and the rest of her gang. Moderating such a large forum with open registration poses a lot of problems. I don't know how she even keeps out the spam bot attacks while allowing people to join. I think the crew here does what they can and we are fortunate to have a place here to come to - but we just have to keep up our guard. I feel really sorry for all of you who have been stressed out and pushed away from here. It's a tough problem for all involved.
Now that I'm not pregnant I will try to come here and post a little now and then. I've been wanting to share the results of my suspected multiple pregnancy. The birth was victorious and the whole experience miraculous.
I too used to hang out here in the "good ol' days" and I miss that community, but it seems like there's enough interest to recreate that if we wanted to. We've got to be willing to trust each other and move forward together and try not to take it too personally if we get visits by Trolls and do our best to work together w/the mods to get those problem people removed before they create too much chaos.
I'm in my 1st TWW w/an amazing new DP and he's totally supportive of my desire to UP/UC. He was home birthed at the Midwife's home and he saw his sister's home birth of her son go a bit south and be pushed into a hospital transfer and subsequent c-section, and he knows I'm not gonna put up w/that unless it's a real serious emergency and he's willing to learn what ever he needs to, to be able to make those determinations. So I would LOVE to get this forum back on its feet!
Who's with me!?
I guess I'm probably one of the "oldies". I've been on MDC over 10 years and I've had 3 UC's. I just almost never come here anymore. It's so dead and most of the people who I really liked are long gone. Plus there was the whole troll thing and stealing what people posted for other sites so they could bash people in peace.
I'll look at the recent threads and see if there's anything I have any thoughts on.
I remember you from the old days, devaskyla! It'd be great to have ya back!!
Purpleheather-I would love to read your birth story! Or anyone else's for that matter!! Maybe we ought to just PM them to each other for a while til we see how this all goes...? Reading UC birth stories really helped me get comfortable with the idea and I think it's a beautiful resource for us all to have and those who come after us.
There's also a freebirth page on FB that seems fairly active... https://www.facebook.com/pages/Unassisted-BirthFreebirth/226462721209?fref=ts
I just noticed you're in AZ! Where at? I'm in Prescott.
I'm in, although to be fair my interest is more of a plan D nature, I had an opps UC where the midwife showed up last minute. I wrote my birth story down for a couple of private groups but havnt posted yet because I cpuldnt decide where to put it (VBAC, birth stories, homebirth, or UC would all fit, but like y'all noticed, UC is rather lean and mean these days).