Just attended my friend's home birth. « Back to Group Discussions

[Sweet Huck]

My friend and her husband had planned a home-birth with two midwives and their assistant and many months ago they had invited me to attend. I was honored, but honestly didn't think she'd call when the time came.... you never know how people will feel when the moment suddenly arrives To my pleasant surprise, I got the call this morning. She was in labor and progressing quickly.

I was asked to bring food, if possible, so I brought bagels, oj, blueberry muffins, coffee, and fresh fruit. By the time I arrived, the baby was crowning and my friend was pushing. The bedroom my friend chose to deliver in was small and so I stayed out of the way in the living room or in the kitchen, straightening up a few things. And then I heard the baby cry.   I sat there thinking about the new sounds of the house, the new voices. I only went upstairs and into the room when I was called. I didn't need to be RIGHT THERE during all the action. Just being in the house with them was super special.

My friend did great. Completely un-medicated and a 6 hour labor.  Baby came out great, too. He was very vocal, great color, and started to nurse quickly. We all sat on the bed there for a while just being together... also waiting for her to deliver the placenta. We then helped the new mom so she could sit up and nurse better.  As the midwives and husband attended to my friend, I made her an egg and cheese sandwich (which she had requested). I did a few more dishes and straightened up and took a list of groceries and other errands to run. I'll return tonight with some baked chicken and a few things from the pharmacy.

The baby's name is Solomon. The midwives didn't worry about weighing him for a few hours, so I don't know his measurements, but he was a nice size baby. I didn't hold him, but I rubbed him and kissed his little head. It was more important for him to be held by mommy and daddy and I'm sure I'll hold him enough in he coming days.

It was a really good experience for me. For one, my own pregnancy suddenly felt a lot more real. It was also a very calm experience, and a pleasure to meet the midwives. I hope to be able to have our baby in a birth center, but there are certainly things that are very appealing about a home birth.

Just wanted to share. :)

[SweetMama34]

Isn't it a wonderful experience to attend a birth? My first home birth (as a doula) felt like Christmas morning did when I was a child!

Interestingly enough, my experience with watching and helping out there has prompted me to lean more toward a hospital birth! I would have thought the opposite.

[Sweet Huck]

It seemed like a great luxury to be at home. You don't have to get dressed, you don't have climb into a car or drive any where. And you can eat whatever you want, off your own plates.

Also! The midwives did all the laundry!

[dayiscoming2006]

SweetHuck:

That sounds like an awesome experience. How great that you got to be there.

I loved my homebirth. Was a much better experience than my 2 hospital births. I felt like my baby and I were much safer without all the hospital interventions. I'm planning on a midwife assisted home birth this time if all goes well.

What turned you off to home birth SweetMama?

[SweetMama34]

I'm not anti-home birth by any means, just for the record. :) Just thinking that for me, it's not panning out to be what I would hope for it to be. I've actually been quite the advocate FOR birthing at home...but shifting that into advocating for birthing where YOU feel most safe. If you feel safer in the hospital, chances are you will be! Gotta go with that gut feeling, you know?

I don't like the thought of having to worry about having my home clean, stocked with food and 'ready' to host a birth. Plus, I don't know exactly where I'll be living when this baby is born, making it very challenging to envision birthing at home. I also worry about things getting messy, the birth tub springing a leak, displacing my boys from their home (if for some reason they aren't wanting to hear mama making noise...that could be really tough for them), family feeling comfortable popping into our house (we have a very open door policy). The hospital is sounding like a spa retreat for me these days! ;)

I feel like I almost had a third JUST to have a home birth experience (which is ridiculous - not my reason at ALL, but I was thrilled to have the chance, finally!) - and over the past few months, my perspective has shifted. Who knows? It may shift again before all is said and done. :)

As far as doula work, I much prefer attending home births. So peaceful, laid back, comfortable.

[FarmerMomma]

That was beautiful sweet huck. I too was blessed to attend my friends midwife assisted birth at "The Farm". What an honor. I could take off sooner than her husband so I came down with her and the kidos. I was there for 2 weeks. It was an awesome experience. I feel much more ready for a home birth now. Except for my home. Lol. I feel ya sweet momma. In this way I'm leaning toward my boyfriend's house. He can be the host. Wherever I feel the most comfortable at the time is where I plan to have the baby.

[Sweet Huck]

Likewise, Sweetmama. There were a lot of appealing things about my friend's home birth, but I don't think it's the right choice for me. For one, our local hospitals aren't so great in the event that I am transferred,  the home birth midwives I would be able to use would NOT have privileges there, and my transfer time would be less than ideal. Also-- and this is very important-- I just don't feel like my house is laid out for me to labor comfortably. If these factors were different, I would consider home birth more seriously. Unfortunately, they're not. :(

I actually toured a free standing birth center last night and was really impressed. It is like a charming little bed and breakfast and I found it very appealing for both my prenatal care and potential labor/birth. You get to indicate your preference in room, they have both jacuzzi's and large birth tubs, as well as birthing rocking chairs and all kinds of other "birth toys." You can cook, eat, and drink and wear your own clothes--- you can also meander in their gardens while you labor. Additionally, their midwives have privileges at their local hospital (which is a very good hospital) and the group is very highly thought of by the OB/GYN community. There's a fire-station across the street, too, in the event that you or the baby have to be transported by emergency vehicle.

Another big plus is that the midwives will deliver you at the hospital if you change your mind at any point in the pregnancy. But the birth center atmosphere was so warm and comfortable that I'm pretty set on a little "birth vacation" there.

[BabySmurf]

SweetHuck - that sounds like such an ideal place to have nearby! I'm trying to sort through my feelings on a home birth too, so it's great to hear yours and SweetMama's perspectives.  That's awesome that you got to see the birth...it truly is an amazing thing to see!

If we had a birth center like the one you described I would go there in a heartbeat! I know from birthing my son, that I am just not really that comfortable with Hospital surroundings this time around.  OTOH, my home isn't really a spot that I would envision myself giving birth...although I think I can create a nice space in the time we have until then :)  Comfort is such a huge aspect of giving birth!

[mamacatsbaby]

Sweet Huck that sounds awesome! Very lovely . So funny what you guys are saying about HB as I was just having this conversation the other day. I fully support HB and want to be a HB midwife but for various reasons it's just not the right choice for me at this time. Would have been awesome the first time around I think! Since this is our last baby most likely I don't think HB for myself is something I'll ever get to experience.

Sweet Huck that birth center sounds niiiiiiiiiice! The birth climate surrounding the area as well. Would love to have that .

[SweetMama34]

Birth center births are $6k here! Ack!!! SO frustrating that my insurance will cover a way too expensive hospital birth, but not a low-intervention home or birth center birth!

[dayiscoming2006]

Originally Posted by SweetMama34 

Birth center births are $6k here! Ack!!! SO frustrating that my insurance will cover a way too expensive hospital birth, but not a low-intervention home or birth center birth!

Yeah, I'm pretty disappointed with the insurance thing too. It's the same in my state. Some states the insurance covers it. My friend in VA had a midwife homebirth covered by insurance last time. 

[veggieviola]

Sweet Huck, I see you are in the Maryland/DC area -  as am I!  Would you mind sharing (via PM if you prefer) the birthing center you toured?  I thought I knew of all of the birthing centers in the area, but I didn't know of one where the MWs have hospital privileges in the event of a transfer.  Thanks in advance!

Originally Posted by Sweet Huck 

Likewise, Sweetmama. There were a lot of appealing things about my friend's home birth, but I don't think it's the right choice for me. For one, our local hospitals aren't so great in the event that I am transferred,  the home birth midwives I would be able to use would NOT have privileges there, and my transfer time would be less than ideal. Also-- and this is very important-- I just don't feel like my house is laid out for me to labor comfortably. If these factors were different, I would consider home birth more seriously. Unfortunately, they're not. :(

I actually toured a free standing birth center last night and was really impressed. It is like a charming little bed and breakfast and I found it very appealing for both my prenatal care and potential labor/birth. You get to indicate your preference in room, they have both jacuzzi's and large birth tubs, as well as birthing rocking chairs and all kinds of other "birth toys." You can cook, eat, and drink and wear your own clothes--- you can also meander in their gardens while you labor. Additionally, their midwives have privileges at their local hospital (which is a very good hospital) and the group is very highly thought of by the OB/GYN community. There's a fire-station across the street, too, in the event that you or the baby have to be transported by emergency vehicle.

Another big plus is that the midwives will deliver you at the hospital if you change your mind at any point in the pregnancy. But the birth center atmosphere was so warm and comfortable that I'm pretty set on a little "birth vacation" there.

[FarmerMomma]

Originally Posted by dayiscoming2006 

Yeah, I'm pretty disappointed with the insurance thing too. It's the same in my state. Some states the insurance covers it. My friend in VA had a midwife homebirth covered by insurance last time. 

This is part of why my friend went out of state, to The Farm, for a midwife birth. We live in Indiana. Her insurance would cover the midwife bills if it were in tenessee, but not Indiana. She did have to pay for lodging in a nifty modern cabin. A very interesting birthcation. The farm is a commune turned intentional community with some rich history, and some of the best midwives in the nation, including Ina May. What an atmasphere for it. If anyone is anywhere near tn I'd suggest checking it out.

[SweetMama34]

My dream is to deliver on The Farm! Given my last labor was 45 minutes, I'm not sure if it's feasible to get from the PNW to TN in enough time, though. ;)

[FarmerMomma]

Yeah. My friends and I stayed in a cabin for 2 weeks waiting for baby. There were 5 adults and 4 kids staying in this cabin. They said it was the most commune like stay they'd seen in a long time. The cabin is attached to someone's home so the neighbors were there to help us and were really great. Some of the original residents.