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Girls' underwear showing under skirts

post #1 of 50
Thread Starter 

Just curious: is it terribly inappropriate for underwear to show briefly under skirts when girls are playing on play structures and they go upside down?

 

There is a mom at my daughter's school who has mentioned about ten times now how her girls would "never be allowed to wear skirts without shorts underneath", etc, etc...

 

I let her know that I don't have a problem with it, but she persists. I think it's time for me to really speak up! But maybe I'm clueless? My daughter is 6 , FWIW.

post #2 of 50

My dd is 7 and she usually wears skirts with shorts built in or tights. From a perspective of modesty, I honestly couldn't care less if her underpants show. They're little girls for heaven's sake. But I also know that the school "culture" might draw unwanted attention or even teasing, which I would prefer to avoid for my dd's sake.
 

post #3 of 50
Thread Starter 

Thanks for the input. My daughter was actually laughed at one day, and wanted to wear a skirt with built-in shorts the next day, but now she is back to not caring.

post #4 of 50

The norm at our school is for girls to wear "bike shorts" under skirts or dresses. (Target and Gymboree both sell them in the spring -- basically short leggings.) It would be pretty unusual for a six-year-old to not have them on where I live.

 

I have a 6 y.o. DD in first grade and I wouldn't allow her to go to school without them, just as I don't allow her to wear leggings as pants. Leggings under a dress? Yes. Leggings with a t-shirt that ends at her waist? No.

 

Maybe also influenced by the fact that I have a nine-year-old son who thinks it's totally hilarious and will point it out if he can see your underwear.

 

To answer your question -- yes, I guess I do feel it's inappropriate. At our school, multiple grades play together. My nine-year-old doesn't need to see your daughter's underwear. IMO, because you asked.

-e

post #5 of 50
Thread Starter 

Wow, really? No leggings unless under a skirt? Don't mean to sound snarky, just surprised. I guess I just don't see what's so different about underwear versus a swim suit. The mom in question allows her daughters to wear bikinis, but freaks about underwear...?
 

post #6 of 50

Yeah, the leggings thing is a real pet peeve of mine. My son is in third grade, and there are girls who wear white, skin-tight leggings with a small t-shirt. To me, that is not appropriate for school. Wouldn't bother me so much in first grade, but I figured I'd just set the rule for my family from the beginning.

 

For the record, I don't allow DD to wear bikinis, either! Granted, that's partly because she's really fair.

 

If the prevailing culture at your school is that girls wear something under their skirts/dresses, I'd probably go along. In America, underwear is kinda private, you know? And bathing suits aren't. It's a contextual difference, but there it is.

post #7 of 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by acupuncturemomma View Post

Wow, really? No leggings unless under a skirt? Don't mean to sound snarky, just surprised. I guess I just don't see what's so different about underwear versus a swim suit. The mom in question allows her daughters to wear bikinis, but freaks about underwear...?
 


I feel pretty much the same way you do, but I've come to realise that just like with nursing-in-public, there are a lot of people with opinions on the matter that make no sense to me.  I'm pretty sure that it's considered tactless to bring up the subject as many times as the other mother did, though.

post #8 of 50

I don't care about underwear showing under a skirt. DD1 wears skirts with just her underwear all the time. If people start teasing her, she can decide how she wants to handle it, but it hasn't been a problem to date (she's homeschooling, though).

 

I don't get the thing about underwear, personally.

post #9 of 50

My daughter is also six and in school.  The kids in her class would certainly CERTAINLY start up something if they could see a girl's underwear on the play structures.  They are all about butts and underwear and potty words right now.

 

It's also the norm, and possibly part of the uniform, for girls to wear shorts or leggings or tights under their skirts so a girl not doing so would certainly stand out.
 

post #10 of 50
I've been thinking about this a lot because I have a friend, like yours, who freaks out about underwear/bare legs, but puts her DD in a bikini. It doesn't make sense to me... and also led me to think about this whole issue a bit more.

I don't have a daughter, but if I did I would probably not let her wear a bikini (at least not until teenage or so, when you totally lose control over their wardrobe!) And I guess if I really think about it, I might also request that she wear leggings or shorts under skirts, until she reaches an age where she isn't likely to be tumbling around.

My 3yo DS sometimes wears a skirt, and he does wear shorts or pants underneath. This is just how it happened, not something I've insisted on, but I admit I'm more comfortable with it this way, and I'm not sure what I'd do if he wanted to just wear a skirt & underwear.
post #11 of 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by LuckyMommaToo View Post

The norm at our school is for girls to wear "bike shorts" under skirts or dresses. (Target and Gymboree both sell them in the spring -- basically short leggings.) It would be pretty unusual for a six-year-old to not have them on where I live.

 

This is how it is at schools here too.  The teachers remind the parents to have their girls wear shorts or leggings under skirts, especially on PE days.  Kohl's has "scooters" in toddler sizes for girls, which are skirts with shorts built in, so DD wears those on preschool days pretty often.  Not to mention when you sit down, your skirt can ride up, and it's not like little girls wear knee-length skirts.

 

I get it.  Underwear is private and bathing suits aren't. 

post #12 of 50

Personally, I would want to afford a little modesty if it were my daughter and have her wear leggings or bike shorts under her skirt.  I don't have a daughter but I certainly would be horrified if my own underwear was showing.  I know young children are innocent to the reasons behind modesty but that's no excuse to dismiss it.  What if there were some pervy dude at a park watching the little girls play on the jungle gym?

 

Never in a million years would I put my daughter in a bikini.  I see girls in bikinis at my seven-year old's swim lessons and it makes me cringe.  I'm not necessarily a prude but bathing suits don't offer a lot of coverage to begin with.  I guess I should come clean and admit that I wear a tankini with a swim skirt attached.  I hate having to be absolutely sure that my bikini line is acceptable (ha!).  I know, isn't it silly?  Social acceptance is what it all comes down to.

post #13 of 50

If it were my daughter - 

 

There would be leggings or biker shorts under the skirt. I don't think it's appropriate to show chonies - no matter who you are, male or female. (I constantly tell my boys that they are never allowed to wear their pants in such a way that their chonies are showing. Ever.) And I do not trust other people to keep their hands to themselves. (How many stories do we hear about school/church staff getting touchy with the children?)

 

I'm also one of those moms who doesn't think little girls need to wear bikini's, for the same reason. 

 

*shrug*

post #14 of 50

I didn't read all the responses, but I don't think it's a big deal if girls' underwear shows briefly, especially at age 6.  But, it does seem to be the norm around here too to have the girls where shorts under dresses and skirts.  Totally was not the norm when I was a kid, but things have changed I guess.  I remember hanging upside down on the monkey bars, holding my dress up over my underwear.  I don't remember being teased about it at all.

post #15 of 50

DD is 5. We don't allow bikinis. 

 

I also do not permit her to play on places where people will see her underwear if she has only a skirt on. Underwear cannot be shown (by anyone in any context) according to our district's dress code, and that includes little girls in skirts. You cannot participate in PE if you're wearing a skirt with no shorts underneath it. It's just inappropriate to me to flash your underwear to everyone. I have no problem being labeled prudish about it.

 

Leggings are NOT PANTS! I hate that people wear them that way. When I can see the tag of your leggings through the fabric, it's not thick enough to be pants. Leggings were intended for wear under really long sweaters/shirts or with skirts in the fall and spring. It's not something we would permit anyway, but our school doesn't permit leggings as pants. We don't live in a conservative area, so I don't think this is a permissiveness issue. We just live in a place where people value a sort of propriety that dictates not showing people your underclothes or wearing razor-thin fabrics as pants. I don't generally see, for example, adult women with their panty lines showing. Leggings fall under that category.

post #16 of 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by andisunshine View Post

I know young children are innocent to the reasons behind modesty but that's no excuse to dismiss it. 

 

Well, i don't understand the reasons behind modesty myself, and see no reason not to dismiss it. I take into account that it's apparently very important to a lot of people, but it's not even slightly important to me.

 

What if there were some pervy dude at a park watching the little girls play on the jungle gym?

 

umm...what if there were? Is he not going to look at a girl who has leggings on underneath? I don't get this line of reasoning (have seen it many, many times, though - you're definitely not alone).

 

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Monkeygrrl View Post

And I do not trust other people to keep their hands to themselves. (How many stories do we hear about school/church staff getting touchy with the children?)

 

And...leggings or bike shorts will protect against this in what way? I was "touched" (groped, molested, whatever you want to call it) by an elementary school janitor who never saw me in a skirt, let alone a skirt with my underwear showing. I wore jeans - every day. Usually, they were "painter pants" (lots of side pockets for tools, etc. - very tomboyish). Making a child wear bike shorts isn't going to protect them from perverts.
 

I'm also one of those moms who doesn't think little girls need to wear bikini's, for the same reason. 

 

I don't buy bikinis for dd1, mostly because bikinis are designed to show off an adult (or close to it) figure. I think it looks ridiculous when some little girl is wearing a bikini style swimsuit with cups for her breasts, etc.  My MIL buys most of dd1's bathing suits, so they're mostly one piece designs. I'd like to find a good tankini, just because they're a lot better for using the bathroom and such.

 

post #17 of 50

I would send DD with leggings or tights, but just because most little girls have no clue that their underwear is visible while they are playing. I wouldn't see the need for a pre-teen or teenager, since they are aware of their body and clothes. (Not to say that underwear in and of itself is some sort of secret)

post #18 of 50

I've stated this on threads like this before:

 

IMO, underwear are there to keep your butt from showing or to keep from rubbing up against your pants. If you arent wearing pants, then what exactly is the point of undies? To keep your butt from showing. Why do you need two layers to keep that from happening. 

post #19 of 50
I didn't push the shorts until second grade when I realized that underwear doesn't cover nearly enough on a flexible child. A swimsuit or bikini is form fitting and generally does. It was very unnerving to glance over at the playground and see my child's underwear not covering everything it should and I didn't want someone else having that awkward moment so I got dd shorts.
post #20 of 50
My girls have always worn shorts or leggings under dresses. No shorts equals no dress in my house. I am not a prude. My girls can wear bikinis if they want to, one loves them, one will only wear one pieces. We are very nudity friendly in our house but underwear IMO is private. I don't want to see it regardless of what gender or ages you are, potty training kids exempted of course! Both my girls actually prefer to go commando which I am fine with as long it is done in the right clothes, sometimes underwear is needed though. My 6 year old would be mortified if a classmate saw her underwear. And that isn't neccessarily my teachings, more the age. I rarely see girls without leggings or shorts under dresses.
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