BREASTFEEDING ISSUES... IM ABOUT TO GIVE UP! « Back to Group Discussions

[lakell22]

Ughhhhh bf isn't going so well! I would really like to bf for as long as I can but at this rate I might have to throw in the towel!
she just wont latch on.... I don't know what the problem is?
I'm pumping so I'm not giving her any formula at all.
I'm not doing so great at that either... Im so tired I forget to drink water, so I'm only pumping 1 1/2-2oz at a time. she also sleeps a lot during the day so I don't know if I'm pumping too little... I pump sometimes every 2-4 hours. should I pump more frequently? I've heard yes and no?
any bf mommas have advise? this is my first real try at bf!

[kateaton]

I bf my previous 2 babies and experienced many different challenges along the way.  My first thought is that you should try to find a lactation consultant that can help you in person- observe the latch, etc.  There could be many reasons that baby is having a hard time.  Local hospitals have lactation consultants (there are private ones too) and you can also contact your local la leche league leader (if you google them, you should be able to find info on your local one).  

I just want to say, don't give up.  The first 6 weeks are definitely the hardest, but if you stick this out and find the solutions to these problems you won't regret it.  It will become easy and natural- it sounds like you just need some in-person help right now.

[tekcez]

I second kateaton's advice. A good lactation consultant can make all the difference. If you have friends irl who have successfully bf, talk to them, too. Almost everyone I know has had trouble with bf on the first real try. Some stuck with it and some didn't. If you get help and stick with it, it WILL get better. The worst part is not knowing how long you have to endure the hard stuff. With ds I had severe engorgement, an early bout with mastitis, and then a stubborn case of thrush that lasted 6 weeks before I got it under control. And then suddenly everything was great. When I got pregnant with dd, my milk dried up so fast that bf with ds was just over too soon. I was really sad about it. You deserve to experience the wonderful parts of bf, so get yourself some support. Hope you get what you need, mama. Hugs! This part is hard.

[katelove]

I sorry you're having problems. Those first weeks can be very hard.

I third the suggestion to see an LC. It is very important to get good, in person advice and support.

It's also important to take care of yourself, can you set an alarm on your phone or make it your partner's job to remind you to drink?

Expressing every 2 hours is about right. Don't worry too much about the quantity, it's the stimulation which is really important. How old is your babe? Has your milk come in yet? You may have more success hand expressing rather than using a pump in the early days.

Finally, how are you trying to get her to latch? The LCs at the hospital where I work/have babies recommend physiological attachment. Undress both of you and place your babe on your chest between your breasts. Support her enough that she won't fall but allow her freedom of movement. She will probably topple herself around so she's near your nipple and then start nuzzling and gaping before latching on. If you google physiological breastfeeding you'll find some YouTube videos showing what it looks like. She may not attach successfully the first time but its all good practice. Also make sure you start when she's in that quiet alert stage and not in the howling for food phase.

All the best. I hope it gets easier very soon.

[OceansEve]

Yep, talk to a LC.

Have you tried a nipple shield? I tried that with my first. I know right after birth my boobs get so big that I have to push part of my breast down so that they can latch or they have trouble latching and breathing. My oldest never would latch (nipple confusion after a week in NICU) so I pumped for about 10 months. It's frustrating at times and it takes work. At 10 months, pregnant with my next and my supply dwindling I finally gave up.

2 oz every 2-3 hours sounds just fine for a brand new babe. I wouldn't be too worried about that. If you start to feel engorged then you might need a different size of attachment. The LC should be able to help you figure out the right ones for your size.

As for drinking water, get a thermos and carry it around with you everywhere. It's a hard thing to learn to do, but once you get in the habit you'll feel naked without your thermos.

[guen]

Please have her evaluated for tongue tie by someone who is familiar with type IV posterior tongue (also known as "piano wire" tongue tie).  It is impossible to spot if you don't know what you are looking for and many LCs and other health care providers don't know how to recognize it.  It can prevent baby from latching or from latching properly.  If you can't find someone who can evaluate her, please let me know. 

Can you get your hands on a copy of Making More Milk by Diana West and Lisa Morasco?  It is the bible of milk production and there are a lot of good tips on how to pump most efficiently as well as information on different ways to maintain and increase your supply. It is the best resource on the subject that you will find anywhere. 
 

A helpful link on tongue tie:

http://www.cwgenna.com/qhcontent.html

Diana's website with info on tongue tie and practitioners:

http://www.lowmilksupply.org/frenotomy.shtml

[fayebond]

*HUGS*

Hang in there mama!  I pumped about every 2-4 hours too.  The latch thing, you need someone to look at in person.  Mine hurt like dickens for a month., but she was sucking so I let her for a bit each time, pumping afterwards.  I got 1-2oz as well, unless I had recently eaten something good for BF like fenugreek tea or real  licorice or fennel bulbs.  That increased production, but only for a bit.  And she was fine on that much, as long as there is some small weight gain over a week, I was told its all good.

Definately look up an LC, if you live in Oregon near Portland, Providence St. Vincent has a really amazing set of ladies working the LC department. 

[lulubikes]

Hi there, I'm just popping in from the December DDC to see what's going on in November.... If you do you live near Portland... I live here and there are tons of great LC options. Of course Providence suggested by fayebond. But also Meg Stalnaker (www.naturallatch.com) is a great private LC. Then there is Birthingway College of Midwifery, which has  LC clinic that offers FREE LC services with certified IBLC consultants - they do have students who assist/observe. www.birthingwaybreastfeedingcenter.org

Hang in there! I haven't had my baby, but I agree, you need to have someone observe the latch in person.

[wendelberry]

Oh no, I'm sorry to hear you're having trouble!  I just wanted to add that when you do get someone to look at the latch (I recommend your local La Leche League leader, they are so often wonderful, supportive women), I hope you can spend a whole day or three focused just on relaxing, nursing and drinking tons of water!  Best of luck, a happy nursing relationship with your baby is worth a lot of effort in the beginning.

[jillc512]

It sounds like you're doing a great job for when baby won't latch: the two cardinal rules are 1. feed the baby and 2. establish/keep up milk supply.  It can just take some babies a little longer to get the hang of it.  (I'm especially encouraged when I hear 3rd-, 4th-, 5th-time moms have trouble with latch -- just because mom has done it before doesn't mean baby is on board right away!).  If you're using a bottle, you might want to switch to a finger feeder or syringe to avoid nipple confusion.  Likewise, you may wish to avoid/limit pacifier use until babe is a latching pro.

Definitely get hands-on help for latch, and sooner rather than later.  There's a great article here with lots of info and tips: http://kellymom.com/bf/concerns/child/back-to-breast/.  Pumping every 2-3 hours (with maybe one longer stretch at night) is about right, and the amount you're getting is actually about average (it's easy to get discouraged when you hear about moms getting anywhere from 4 to NINE ounces in one pumping session).

I hear from a lot of moms that they wish someone had told them about the learning curve of breastfeeding: they weren't expecting to have at least SOME trouble for the first 4-8 weeks.  I found this article encouraging as well: http://www.bestforbabes.com/prepare-the-learning-curve-of-breastfeeding/.