I've pretty much come to a conclusion about my decision but just need some feedback to validate my decision...:-)
For the past five years I've hosted a holiday dinner for a couple of Dh's former co-workers and their families. At first we were just 3 couples, and we got along fine, although it was initially awkward for the Dh and the wives who only knew everyone through their significant others.
As time went on, we got to know each other on their own basis, and we all had kids. All the co-workers subsequently moved on to other jobs and so no one works with anyone else, but we still remained friendly aquaintences. I'm very good friends with one of the wives (Couple B) and we see each other on a weekly basis. The other couple (Couple A) we/I see maybe 2-3 times a year.
Here's my problem...
As I mentioned before I usually host a holiday dinner around the beginning of December, and it was fine for a while. However, as time went on and our lives changed I'm finding that I'm starting to dislike Couple A. It started when when they said that they would no longer invite us and Couple B to their house because they got 2 cats and 2 dogs, and my Dh and my friend from Couple B are both violently allergic to pet dander. That was fine with both of us couples. Couple B, and Dh and I still continued to invite Couple A on various kids birthdays or our annual holiday dinner. There was no reciprocation of any kind from Couple A.
Secondly, Couple A's parenting style is very lax. For instance, they let their two boys run roughshod over everything, even things that don't belong to them. Climbing on the dinner table as it is set for dinner is not unheard of. They let their 18mo dump his dinner on my new table linens and proceed to smear it all over. This is while he was sitting on his mum's lap. Not a word was said until the dad mentioned to the mum that the toddler was starting to fling the food onto my walls. They didn't offer to clean up.
Thirdly, and this probably bothers me most, is that Couple A makes close to $200,000 with both adults working full time at professional jobs. Couple B and Dh/I are both one income families. When it comes to generosity, Couple B and Dh/I are fairly generous when it comes to birthday gifts and potluck offerings. Couple A seem fairly stingy when sharing. They have enough money to buy a new car and a vacation home in another country, but could only offer a single small pot of jam for a potluck offering? Before anyone mentions that they might be living on credit, I know for a fact this isn't the case as the wife is an accountant and knows better. They pay in cash for most things and eat very well, eg. fresh Ahi tuna for dinner.
Another example was when the wife approached me in the spring to ask if I would sell some baby carriers for her as she was too busy to attend our local Babywearing meetings. She offered me 30% of what I could get for them. I went out of my way to go to a meeting, sell the carriers, and earned $240. She was too busy to come pick up the left over carriers and I stored them for her for 4 months. In the end I delivered the carriers that I didn't sell, back to her (a 1 hr bus trip with two kids). She took all the money and said that it would come in handy for Christmas presents. There was nothing said about the 30% she had offered to me and I was too taken aback to bring it up.
So, how awful would it be if I were to only invite Couple B to dinner? I really can't stand Couple A at the moment and I doubt things will change as I intend to avoid them like the plague from now on. Luckily we live in different parts of the city and our paths don't cross. Am I justified in avoiding them?
Thanks for hearing me rant!