6yr old being teased about his lunch at school - Page 2

[gabklein]

All of the above suggestions are great. Someone mentioned that the "stinky" comment may have simply been observational rather than bullying. When my DD told me someone had said her lunch was gross, I reminded her that she's gotten opportunities to go places, see things, and eat foods than many children haven't been able to, and that's something to be proud of. Maybe OP's DS could offer to share something individually sized out of his lunch with the girl? Or maybe he could invite her to tell him about her favorite foods.

In case it has progressed to bullying, I work hard with my DD (whether I'm successful, who knows) to help her find her voice and not to be a victim. I was bullied as a girl, and I never said a word about it, not to the bully nor to anyone else...and that's the kind of person bullies like to bully. I also think it's a very good idea to work with kids on not bowing to peer pressure long before they get into situations where they're around drugs, sex, etc. I encourage my DD to practice a "Mommy voice": firm, confident, and assertive rather than whiny, angry, or submissive. Might it work to announce to any children giving him a hard time, "It's my lunch, and I like it. Let's talk about ___ instead"?

Good luck!

[lauriebeth]

Originally Posted by meemee 

 its a rare child who brings hummus to a traditional public school.  

  I pack hummus and veggies for my DD almost every day and she laughs about it, says no one know what it is!!  She asked, How can they NOT know what hummus is.  LOL..  I guess that what you get when you have a vegetarian mother in the deep south.

 I would go to the teacher.  Maybe she can even talk about good nutrition one day and explain what hummus and other health foods are... 

[SquidMommy]

Maybe I'm just getting old, but I'm blown away by the idea of a teacher, lunch aide, or other school employee "returning" food to my home with the implication being that my child can't bring it, have it, or eat it, and that I've done a shoddy job in feeding my child and making decisions about their intake.

Allergen issues aside, of course  - ie, "Kid So-And-So has a peanut allergy, so we had to return YourKid's peanut granola bar."

But, assuming there weren't any extenuating circumstances...What else is your kid supposed to eat, then? An incomplete meal? I'd be furious. I plan my son's meals around balance, variety, nutrition...and he eats in our living room, for poo's sake! My child should feel hungry at school because someone didn't want him to have an organic pseudo-oreo? What if I'm packing a lunch based on a lifestyle, financial, religious, or medical issue the school isn't aware of? What if I have a sensitive child and they're now feeling embarrassed over their lunch?
 

Okay, lemme breathe. I used to get ribbed mercilessly for my lunches, and I was never confident enough to tell the kids to STFU. I ended up throwing a LOT of my food away and lying to my parents about it. I don't want my son getting that message from his peers, and I find it COMPLETELY unacceptable that adults are sending that message about ANY portion of what parents are packing.

I'm interested in the two posters telling us more about the information that was sent home when their children's food was returned. Was there a rationale? Did they offer your child an exchange, so they didn't have an incomplete meal? (And wouldn't THAT just frost your buns...I can picture someone saying "You can't have the quinoa cookie because it's a COOKIE, but here's some mass-manufactured Froot-Snak-Thingz instead! Your RDA of Red40 wasn't going to be met any other way!")

[NYCVeg]

Originally Posted by meemee 

Hummus IS 'sardines' in the kids world. in fact to them it looks like poop. its a rare child who brings hummus to a traditional public school.  

Dd's school serves hummus as one of their regular classroom snacks. Like a pp said, I think this very much depends on the school/regional culture. 

[rachelsmama]

Originally Posted by meemee 

Hummus IS 'sardines' in the kids world. in fact to them it looks like poop. its a rare child who brings hummus to a traditional public school.  

I think the kids in dd's lunch room would have been thrilled if I send her with hummus since it smells so much less than the yummy canned herring I used to pack for her  .    (Dd wasn't particularly bothered by their complaints, and it's nutritious and nut free).

[maptome]

This brings up insecurities I had when I was a kid.  I never wanted leftovers because of the smell, and I thought the food was too ethnic and emphasized my difference.  I perhaps, got some questions, like, "What's that?"  I was sensitive to being different, and definitely noticed nearly all the other kids had sandwiches.  I was one of 2 or 3 non-white people in the ENTIRE school.  I would converse with the kid, and then, most likely, I would tend to try to figure out how to make my kid's lunch healthy and something that "fits in".  But this decision is very much informed by my past experience, and I'm not saying it's the "right" thing to do.

[familycastle]

I'm waiting for this to happen to our dd (5) , because I've volunteered with her class, and the other lunches are white bread and meat slices all the way. We send all kinds of "weird" healthy foods. I think talking to the teacher is a good option, but personally I would be more inclined to make breakfast and dinner more varied, and pack lunches that are a little more discreet in terms of unusual healthy ingredients. For example a sandwich on healthy bread with a veggie spread. I think I am extra sensitive to the issue because I'm half Italian, and the enormous sandwiches I used to bring to school with salami and stinky cheese, really garnered some attention! 

[phathui5]

Quote:

Dd's cookie made with organic quinoa and honey was returned in Pre-K. I sent it because dd used to say another child brings cookie everyday. Since then I haven't sent cookies but dd insists there are other kids bringing it

That's ridiculous. Who are they to tell your kid she can't have a cookie? I think balance is important and sweets can be included as part of a healthy diet.

[meemee]

Originally Posted by rachelsmama 

I think the kids in dd's lunch room would have been thrilled if I send her with hummus since it smells so much less than the yummy canned herring I used to pack for her  .    (Dd wasn't particularly bothered by their complaints, and it's nutritious and nut free).

before dd became a vegetarian she loved herring, sardines and mackerel sandwiches. esp. in spicy olive oil. and i'd actually use hummus instead of mayo. 

dd has gone thru phases over food. lately in the last 6 months or so since she turned 10 she is standing up more for herself and is taking the lunch she wants to take. she is also learning she'd rather take something she likes than not. however i am noticing the cattiness down in 5th grade. it was super high and high in 3rd and 4th grade. no longer so much teasing about food. 

one thing that i have discovered about food is the social aspect. (taken me 5 years to realise this) - sharing. i now pack some junk so that dd has something to offer the kids. mostly its fruit (a variety since her friends like different fruit) and sometimes a little junk here or there - yes including candy (though we havent made candy sushi yet. she has taken veggie sushi and made converts of some of her friends so i think she wants to take more of her food). 

in K - the teacher always had extra snack on hand for those who forgot to bring theirs. but yes the school actually sent home a list of what is appropriate snack for the class. and no candy and cookies was on the list. 

[spughy]

In my DD's school they have a strict "no sharing" policy for snacks and lunches.  Logistically I think that's a good idea, but sharing food is such an important part of human behaviour... it's hard on DD when a friend looks at her lunch with envy and she CAN'T give him or her a bit of it.  But there does seem to be at least one kid in every class with anaphylactic reaction to something, I guess this policy saves the teachers some worry and grief.  They do occasionally have days where they prepare foods together.

[NYCVeg]

Originally Posted by spughy 

In my DD's school they have a strict "no sharing" policy for snacks and lunches.  Logistically I think that's a good idea, but sharing food is such an important part of human behaviour... it's hard on DD when a friend looks at her lunch with envy and she CAN'T give him or her a bit of it.  But there does seem to be at least one kid in every class with anaphylactic reaction to something, I guess this policy saves the teachers some worry and grief.  They do occasionally have days where they prepare foods together.

It's more than just "worry and grief"; the policy saves children's lives. Teachers have no way of knowing what's in a given product, nor what it might be cross-contamination with. If a friendly child gave my dd a slice of apple, but that slice of apple had happened to touch the child's sandwich, dd would end up in the ER or worse. It's hard not to share, but it's also hard to be left out of literally every single food-related activity the other kids an participate in--from birthday cake to pizza to special class treats to trips to restaurants, which she cannot eat in at all. Dd couldn't eat the gelt that was handed out at our synagogue Hanukkah party on Monday, or the doughnuts that a friend in gymnastics brought to celebrate a birthday on Tuesday, or the pretzels that they handed out at the end of her art class on Wednesday, or the popcorn at the movie she went to with her cousin last weekend. Aside from the safety issue, it's a huge relief to dd that other children in her school are not allowed to share food--otherwise, every single lunch period would be another instance of her feeling left out/singled out. 

[mommy68]

Originally Posted by es1967 

DS who is in Kindergarten came home last week and said the kids were making fun of his lunch.

He is used to eating very healthy so I pack him things like Hummus and pita,soups etc etc.  Last week

I made him tortellini's (not so healthy) and I added some cooked peas.  I always try to add a veggie.  He loves this.  Well, he came home and said the kids at his table said his lunch stinks.  Then today I packed him hummus and pita and he did not eat his lunch at school  Said he only ate his apple b/c he was not hungry.  Then I find out that this girl that they just moved beside him at lunch said his lunch smelled again.  So its one girl that says his lunch stinks and all the other kids around him make fun too.  I'm so thankful my son loves to eat healthy things and I don't want to have to send him mac and cheese everyday.  I have told him this girl just wants attention and to just ignore her.  He sat beside her in class at the start of the year and she bugged him during class too. He started giving her mean looks so she stopped .They move the kids around so luckily she was moved to another spot.  So regarding lunch should I tell him to ignore her,? tell him to make fun of her lunch? tell the teacher?. I thought maybe I should email the teacher whats going on just so she is aware. What would you do?

I would talk to the teacher about it. I'd ask her not to make a big deal in front of the class so he isn't embarrassed, but it needs to be addressed. He will be made fun of in other silly areas throughout school (all kids are unfortunately) but he needs to be able to feel comfortable enough to eat his lunch. poor kid

[kayleesmom]

Just wondering ow things are going now.

[contactmaya]

I havent read the thread,(and will) but saw your post OP, and thought i would commiserate. (btw you seem to pack a great lunch and i am envious that your child is actually willing to eat it.)

My latest ploy to  nourish my  child while he is at school ( the bane of my existence right now) is to have spent over $100 on a smoothie machine, then to make the smoothie the night before with fruits, kale, oils, kefir, something else with protein,  give it to him to taste-he says, yum, delicious!, then i freeze it so its still cold by snack time then he is supposed to eat it and enjoy it...

the other day, kids teased him and said it looked like moudly fish icecream... the kale had risen to the top in the freezing process. He refused to eat it after that. I actually thought it was kind of funny...