or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › November 2012 Rockstar Mamas!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

November 2012 Rockstar Mamas!

post #1 of 254
Thread Starter 

Welcome to the Rockstar Mamas thread! Our wonderful group of mamas started following each other in the Charting to Avoid thread over in fertility. Eventually we created "The Whatever Ladies!", a safe place for those of us who were not trying to prevent pregnancy, though not actively trying to conceive either. Spread out over a year, we all got pregnant and had our current babes- several whom are over a year old now!

We made the decision to switch to Rockstar Mamas, after a conversation about how each and every one of us was a Rockstar in some way, for living and thriving through the parenting challenges thrown our way every day. Feel free to join us in our thread, but be warned, the conversation moves fast!

Not really rules but something to consider if you join:

1. Need to be chatty

2. Know that we are all vastly different from one another but we've become friends so we respect those differences. We are vaxers and nonvaxers; homeschoolers, unschoolers, public schoolers; run the gamut from vegan to paleo; some of us want more kids, some don't, and some aren't sure...but we all manage to really get along and come together on things we DO agree on.

3. Aren't afraid to ask each other the hard questions or point out the obvious when/if we want advice!

Member List:

lyeterae ~ Baby boy born February 2011
annie ~ Baby girl born April 7, 2011
Barefootscientist ~ Baby boy born May 30, 2011
AnnieA (due 7/18) ~ Baby girl born July 17, 2011
MarineWife (due 7/30) ~ Baby boy born July 25, 2011
Baby_Cakes (due 8/16) ~ Baby boy born August 16, 2011
MovingMomma (due 8/9) ~ Baby girl born August 18, 2011
akind1 (due 9/28) ~ Baby girl born October 11, 2011
mom2one (due 10/23) ~ Baby boy born October 21, 2011
jeninejessica (due 12/01) ~ Baby girl born November 29, 2011
Kindermama (due 1/6) ~ Baby boy born January 1, 2012

akind1 going around again ~ Baby BOY!! due 3/6/2013 but betting on 3/11 or 3/19

 

October thread  http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1364692/october-2012-rockstar-mamas/380#post_17166842

post #2 of 254
Thread Starter 

MW - since Kat is having a boy we just need someone else to have another girl.  LOL!

 

Not me yet at least!  AF is here finally!  2 days after I expected.  Maybe b/c of nightweaning my cycle is less affected by nursing?  No idea.

 

We had another great night!  He needed some help resettling around 1 am but nothing major, just a pat on the back.  He's still in bed with me.  LOVE this.  

 

JJ - Oh no!  Hmm.  Idk what exactly I would do either.  Decisions decisions.  It's a tough call no matter what you do. 

You can always go back full time and see how it goes.  I went back to work after Nora full time for only 2 weeks. I couldn't do it.  Then again, Nora was only 14 weeks old.  But.  It was still just not who I wanted to be.  I wanted more.  So - I went to part time 3 days a week.  It was SO much better.

 

Lauri - OOh Ikea sounds like a deal closer!  

 

Better go finish laundry, and pour myself more coffee before the pot turns off!  I'll be around!

post #3 of 254
JJ ~ Are the people you work directly with involved in this issue? If not, maybe work wouldn't be hostile. If it does end up being, maybe you could deal with until you find something else that suits you. Then at least you wouldn't have worries about not having any job at all. shrug.gif

Dylan threw up in bed twice last night. I don't get it. He's fine all day long. He's fine this morning. Happy and playing and eating. I made plans to go to someone house whom I've never met in person to help her with her knitting but now I don't really want to go. I feel like I should stay home with Dylan just in case. I guess I'll go anyway. I won't be too far.

Does anyone know how to find the forum moderators to ask someone to delete that duplicate thread? I looked and can't find them listed anywhere anymore.
post #4 of 254
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post

JJ ~ Are the people you work directly with involved in this issue? If not, maybe work wouldn't be hostile. If it does end up being, maybe you could deal with until you find something else that suits you. Then at least you wouldn't have worries about not having any job at all. shrug.gif
Dylan threw up in bed twice last night. I don't get it. He's fine all day long. He's fine this morning. Happy and playing and eating. I made plans to go to someone house whom I've never met in person to help her with her knitting but now I don't really want to go. I feel like I should stay home with Dylan just in case. I guess I'll go anyway. I won't be too far.
Does anyone know how to find the forum moderators to ask someone to delete that duplicate thread? I looked and can't find them listed anywhere anymore.

 

That's a good point about her coworkers.

Aw, sorry about Dylan.  Puke is one of my least favorite illnesses b/c it's just so freaking unpredictable. And messy.

 

No idea.  I'm sorry about the dupe thread!  I was going to let you do it, but thought maybe you wouldn't get notifications so I just did it myself.  I should have let you do it since you are the normal thread starter!!  No idea how to get it deleted, tho. :-/

post #5 of 254

That sucks MW. :(  Is he stuffy at all? Maybe it's drippage, and lying down makes it worse? I'm stretching, sorry. I can't think of why he'd be fine all day and then sick at night :(

 

 

My direct co-workers aren't, not really. My contact so far has been with HR, and then the head of department or rooms (my department). She isn't the general manager of the hotel but... pretty much she has all the power. I rarely see her, but she's the bigwig, so obviously I'm trying to treat careful. They are waiting to hear back from my manager on Tuesday, her first day back from mat leave. She IS someone I interact with on a regular basis, but I'm hoping/thinking she'll be more on my side, since A/ She just had a baby too, and understands what I'm going through, and B/ She's actually worked with me, and knows that I'm a hard/good worker, and mentioned before I went on mat leave that basically whatever they could do to help me come back, she wanted to do. But that said... that was over a year ago. And if she -did- get upset by all of this hullabaloo, then she could probably make my life difficult (not generally her style at all, but you never know). And then technically I have a manager under her as well, who is responsible specifically for those who work on the front desk, and is the one who makes the schedules. He's pretty useless though. Honestly, don't know how he got his job. 

 

I'm just so torn. Financially, yeah, it would be great to go back full time. And if I went back full time, I have second in seniority, so probably would be able to work mostly if not all, 8-430 shifts. So, that's tempting. I just... can't imagine leaving her right now for that much time. With my commute factored in, it would be 9.5-10 hours a day I'd be gone from her. She'd get dropped off at my SILs at 715ish, and then DH would get there around 415ish. That's a long time... I dunno :(  I just want to start part time and then keep adding hours back until I get to the point where I say "Ok, this is where I stop." I can't eblieve it's all this complicated. 

 

 

Dr-- Saw him this morning. He was alright. Basically stated that as far as he's concerned, the risks/side effects of vaccines are so rare, that they don't exist. That basically, in his practice he could not vaccinate enough children to -statistically- ever see a side effect. BUT- that he does have parents in his practice who have chosen not to vax, and that he's ok with that, as long as they will listen to his side of it, and his concerns. He will continue to ask every visit, but if we say no, that's ok. He also did some digging for us, and agreed to give the adacel, which is a slightly lower dose, so it was interesting that he did that. Anyways, I think for now we'll stick with him, see how it goes. My gosh, I just want to finish all these vaxes (she'll need visits in 2 months and 4 months for this one, and then sometime in the next year will need a separate visit for the MenC as well. And then we plan on starting (potentially) the MMR at 2. So... 4+ visits in the next 12 months, none of them because there's anything wrong with her. So stupid, when DH could administer the stupid vax himself, if legally they could give the vial to us. 

 

Anywho, she's decided she wants to go down for another nap, so I'm gonna take advantage of that and see if I can go sleep too!

post #6 of 254

JJ: being Canadian and all . . . I have a question - in the event you have another baby, do you need to work (full or part time) so much before going on maternity leave to qualify for the long leave? I don't recall if your work does top-off or not. And is that at all a consideration in the decision to return to work?

 

Carrie-  hooray for sleep!

 

MW: I am betting it's just drainage. I've had friends whose babies have had the same issue.

post #7 of 254
You need to work at least 7 months for the same employer and have worked 600 hours in the past year. So full time you'd have those hours in like 3.5 months, or 20hrs a week you'd have them in about 7 months.

It is something I've thought of. I can't see us having another one within the next year, maybe start 'trying' a year from now, but not before that on purpose. But obviously if I am going to go back to work, then I want to make sure I would qualify for another mat leave. But I mean by next year, I'm sure ill feel a lot better aboutft you know?
post #8 of 254
Oh and my work doesn't do top off, unfortunately. Few places here do, but we get the 55% of our wages for the 52 weeks as long as we hit the conditions above
post #9 of 254

So, maybe aiming for a 2014 baby? And I am assuming time worked during your pregnancy counts? . . . IDK. I think Ten would be fine. She's nearly one (OMG! in 20 days!) I say, give FT a shot, see how it goes, and scale back as needed. I am so grateful I can work from home!

post #10 of 254
Something like that, for me anyways. Dh still says no to a second unless (insert long list of requirements here) but I've been very clear that I need at least one more child. I'd like to stop preventing in a year or so and go from there (right now anyway! Well see in 6 months!)
post #11 of 254
Thanks for the new thread! MW, it's probably because of excess mucus or saliva. Ava's done that a couple of times the last month. And it's usually when she's had a lot of milk so it's like tons ofpuke. :/ JJ, that's a tough one. I can't imagine working 8-5 again. I'd hardly see Ava except on the weekends. Short of me not working, having a modified second shift schedule is the best for me. I get maximum time with Ava while still working FT.
post #12 of 254

Oh I could choose to do a 3-1130 shift as well, or something mid, probably more like 10-630. I'm just worried about the PM one, because then I wouldn't get home until around 1230, and then at least 1am before I sleep. If Tenley's up at 730ish, then that means I get MAX 6.5 hours of sleep, not counting all the wakeups. I think I'd get burnt out pretty quickly. I would get from 730ish until about 130, but is that better if I'm tired and grouchy? At least wit the AM one, if I'm home at 530ish, then I've got a couple hours to spend with her before she heads to bed around 830. And I'd be more rested. Ugh. I dunno. There's so much to consider. 

 

The other thing is, I don't think my SIL wants to do care full time. So I'd need to find another babysitter for half the time at least, or switch over to someone else. I'm still hoping they come back and say ok to part time. If not, I'm going to have to ask for more time to decide. 

post #13 of 254
Thread Starter 

I liked working part time when it was 2 days.  3 days seemed to really make it hard for me to manage both home and work life.  I was at work enough to take on more responsibility, but my mind was always on what had to be done at home.  I felt very distracted all the time.

2 days at the spa was perfect.  A break from home, and just enough to have a following at work.  I miss it.

 

Given those options, JJ, i'd do the earlier hours, as well.  Something about getting up and out early and having dinner and downtime later seems like you'd end up getting more rest and having a better structure and routine to the day.  

 

O/T - ideas for christmas for our 1 year olds?

post #14 of 254
I get home at 12:30 AM and try to be in bed by 1:30 AM. Ava wakes between 7-8 AM. I ALWAYS nap when she does. For me, having the ability to do library programs, the playground or just a leisurly day is worth 6 hrs of sleep. I absolutely hate having to wake Ava in the morning and when I've worked the 8-4:30 shift, I always have to wake her. Plus this way, she's either with me or DH the majority of the time. I've always cared for other people's kids so I was surprised that I had such a strong reaction to someone else taking care of her the majority of her waking hours. I love my work schedule. I do miss doing bedtime most nights so it's not perfect but I have to work for health insurance.
post #15 of 254
Also, I think it depends on the baby. Ava is a MESS after about 5 PM. So when I am home during those times, I'm dealing with a fusspot. Not the happy interactive Ava during the day. I don't feel like I get more sleep on my nights off either. Just my two cents.
post #16 of 254
Presents. I am getting Ava the push cart from IKEA, some of the cloth food from there, probably a Gund Elmo and some books. Oh and a new bag. That girl LOVES her bags! She packs and unpacks stuff all day long. I saw a Leapfrog picnic basket on sale this weekend at TRU that I told my mom to look at. And I'll probably get her a new train like Lady or Molly. She has some of DSS 11's old trains and she loves them. She has Percy, Oliver, Butch and Bulgy. Oh I also considered the Playmobil 123 trash truck. That looks pretty cool.
post #17 of 254
I would not want to go back to work full time but then I wouldn't want to work at all. winky.gif I think I would probably fight for what I'm entitled to just on principle. Then if work was hostile, I could potentially file grievances about that. If the law says you are entitled to work part-time, they have to let you whether they like it or not. It's mother discrimination.

So, I went to the person's house for the knitting thing. Um, ew! My house is certainly not the cleanest in the world but I would at least vacuum the main room before strange company came over. I don't think this woman tried to clean at all. I was afraid to use her bathroom or eat off of her dishes. The cat was having fun eating those huge flying cockroaches and the kids were screaming and throwing balls all over the house, nearly knocking over glasses at the humongous TV. Then the host starts talking about her husband building mini electric chairs so he can shock live mice that they used to feed to their snakes. She laughed but all I could think was there's something wrong with him. He's sadistic. That's like serial killer stuff. Oh, and she's all over Facebook about reading the Bible and going to church and being so Christian. How can you claim to be that way and think it's funny that your husband built his own electric chair to torture animals? Sick! I am so glad I did not take my kids.
post #18 of 254

I get what you're saying Lauri. That's one of the things that upsets me about potentially working FT, is missing all our playdates and groups- LLL, the babywearers group, a new diapering group I'm part-admining. I'll miss those things. Ugh. So conflicted!

 

 

We've got a lot of the same ideas on our list. I saw that picnic basket in a store the other day and showed it to Ten and she seemed really interested in it. We just pulled out our brio trains, so I'm seeing how she does with them. My MIL bought her the leapfrog Zany zebra ride on/push toy. Also tons of play food and accessories on the list. I also have a few dolls and accessories. Craft supplies. the tookbelt from ikea. chunky wooden cars and animals. felted wool balls. Little People playsets. I want wood ones, but i also know that no one will buy them for us, so it's a waste of space to even put it on the list.  And then there's the boring stuff like hair elastics, socks, plastic cups and bowls.   I feel like I've gotten lots of good ideas in the past couple days and she's got an ok list now. I still feel like I'm missing something though. 

 

 

My list on the other hand... sucks. I need gift ideas to fill a $50 price point, a $75 one and about $150. Not counting the stuff on my list that I know people won't buy (like a necklace I really want, but has to be ordered online, etc), I don't think I even have $275 worth of stuff on my list. But I don't know what else to add. The sort of things I want right now, aren't things I can put on a list because I need to pick them out myself. I probably just need to come up with gift certificates. What sort of things do you guys want for Christmas?

post #19 of 254
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnieA View Post

Also, I think it depends on the baby. Ava is a MESS after about 5 PM. So when I am home during those times, I'm dealing with a fusspot. Not the happy interactive Ava during the day. I don't feel like I get more sleep on my nights off either. Just my two cents.

 

 

That is a really good point!  And I didn't even think about how nice it would be to have mornings to hang out and spend time with your LO.  That's a good point too!  

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnieA View Post
And I'll probably get her a new train like Lady or Molly. She has some of DSS 11's old trains and she loves them. She has Percy, Oliver, Butch and Bulgy. Oh I also considered the Playmobil 123 trash truck. That looks pretty cool.

 

Or Rosie!  

 

I'll check out the playmobil 123.  I've only heard of it in passing.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post

I would not want to go back to work full time but then I wouldn't want to work at all. winky.gif I think I would probably fight for what I'm entitled to just on principle. Then if work was hostile, I could potentially file grievances about that. If the law says you are entitled to work part-time, they have to let you whether they like it or not. It's mother discrimination.
So, I went to the person's house for the knitting thing. Um, ew! My house is certainly not the cleanest in the world but I would at least vacuum the main room before strange company came over. I don't think this woman tried to clean at all. I was afraid to use her bathroom or eat off of her dishes. The cat was having fun eating those huge flying cockroaches and the kids were screaming and throwing balls all over the house, nearly knocking over glasses at the humongous TV. Then the host starts talking about her husband building mini electric chairs so he can shock live mice that they used to feed to their snakes. She laughed but all I could think was there's something wrong with him. He's sadistic. That's like serial killer stuff. Oh, and she's all over Facebook about reading the Bible and going to church and being so Christian. How can you claim to be that way and think it's funny that your husband built his own electric chair to torture animals? Sick! I am so glad I did not take my kids.

 

OMG!!!  

 

Isn't it hard to be at someone's house where you don't want to touch or use anything?  I hate that.  And you're right - that's animal cruelty!  I would have had trouble keeping my opinions to myself!

post #20 of 254
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post

I would not want to go back to work full time but then I wouldn't want to work at all. winky.gif I think I would probably fight for what I'm entitled to just on principle. Then if work was hostile, I could potentially file grievances about that. If the law says you are entitled to work part-time, they have to let you whether they like it or not. It's mother discrimination.
So, I went to the person's house for the knitting thing. Um, ew! My house is certainly not the cleanest in the world but I would at least vacuum the main room before strange company came over. I don't think this woman tried to clean at all. I was afraid to use her bathroom or eat off of her dishes. The cat was having fun eating those huge flying cockroaches and the kids were screaming and throwing balls all over the house, nearly knocking over glasses at the humongous TV. Then the host starts talking about her husband building mini electric chairs so he can shock live mice that they used to feed to their snakes. She laughed but all I could think was there's something wrong with him. He's sadistic. That's like serial killer stuff. Oh, and she's all over Facebook about reading the Bible and going to church and being so Christian. How can you claim to be that way and think it's funny that your husband built his own electric chair to torture animals? Sick! I am so glad I did not take my kids.

Ok that is SUPER creepy. Super. 

 

I stopped off at a friend from my parenting group's house ot pick something up. I just about choked when I walked in the door. Seriously looked like something off of hoarders. Not a single clear/clean surface i nthe house, and smelled like a kennel. And I don't mean not clean as in wasn't dusted, I mean like... if you walked into the room with a glass and needed to put it down- there was literally nowhere flat to put it that wasn't covered in clothes and junk and dishes and just... stuff.  I was shocked. People surprise you sometimes. 

New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › November 2012 Rockstar Mamas!