November 2012 Rockstar Mamas! - Page 10

[akind1]

Medela PISA is what I use/used. I'm it's second owner. You can also sterilize your tubing, even in the microwave steam bags. I do this on occasion. I paid just over $100 for mine 3 years ago, and it is still going strong, though I never used it daily, at most 2-3 times a week. Being that you'd be the 3rd, or 4th? owner, I'd not pay more than $75, especially since you'll want new parts. Also, for ease of everything, it's helpful to have as many sets of parts as you will pump during the day, that way you don't have to waste time rinsing and washing between uses. I only pumped twice a day, so had 2 sets of parts. (well, really, I have more than that, but I alwasy keep 2 clean). Pumping at work for me is strange  I enjoy the extra solitary time away from my desk, (because I don't really technically pump on my breaks . . . as long as my work gets done, no one seems to mind this), but at the same time, that extra time away from my desk (and PUMPING) gets on my nerves.

Good weekend, My sister drove me crazy. She kept trying to tell Gabe and Norah what to do, (or what NOT to do) and either DH or I were right there! I mean, wouldn't you check with me first to see if you should be telling them no? Especially since every thing she was telling them not to do, they are allowed to, granted with supervision. In Norah's case, climb, and in Gabe's case, play with his remote control helicopter. seriously pissed. me. off. she is never babysitting. ever. And i get the vibe she is a little resentful of my pregnancy, because she isn't yet, depite not being on birth control for a year. (but they aren't TTC. They are leaving it up to God. Doesn't know how long her cycles are or when, or if, she's ovulating) She's only 23, but her husband is 34. Personally, I don't think she should be too bothered by the fact she's not pregnant, since she doesn't want to be for another year (needs to get 2 years teaching to get her certification) and for pete's sake, she's not even really trying.

rant over. MIL apologized to DH for the stupid stuff she said, and is compensating by giving us money to christmas shop for the kids. We are fine with that :)

Carrie - I'm so glad you were able to get out and have fun sans kids - and that everything went well. Do that more often!

Lauri - whining! ugh. sorrry :( I hope they break soon, poor baby.

[AnnieA]

akind1, that kind of stuff would make me angry too. My big kids try to micromanage Ava sometimes but I know why they try to do it so I just try to redirect. When an adult is doing it, ugh. Silliness. Thinking of you today JJ! Hope it goes by fast! OMG, you guys. DH tried to help with the diapers while I was at work last night. But he didn't ask me beforehand. So he dried some dipes in the dryer that had only been rinsed. YUCK! I soaked them all night in a full washer with a bit of water softener. I hope they aren't ruined!

[EuroMama]

Originally Posted by onetwoten 

EM-- how did the pumping, and the night out go?? Exciting!

I got 3 oz when I first started one one side. I had Eddie nurse on the other, this helps with letdown.

I got a total of 9 oz in about 2 hours. That was enough for the time I was gone.

When I got home Eddie had drank all of the milk I pumped.

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes 

You seriously rock for pumping now though.  With a 1 year old I probably wouldn't.    I stopped pumping at work when N was 13 months old.  I was SO DONE WITH IT!!

What do you give the one year old if you won't pump? Just curious. :-)

[EuroMama]

Good weekend, My sister drove me crazy. She kept trying to tell Gabe and Norah what to do, (or what NOT to do) and either DH or I were right there! I mean, wouldn't you check with me first to see if you should be telling them no? Especially since every thing she was telling them not to do, they are allowed to, granted with supervision. In Norah's case, climb, and in Gabe's case, play with his remote control helicopter. seriously pissed. me. off. she is never babysitting. ever. And i get the vibe she is a little resentful of my pregnancy, because she isn't yet, depite not being on birth control for a year. (but they aren't TTC. They are leaving it up to God. Doesn't know how long her cycles are or when, or if, she's ovulating) She's only 23, but her husband is 34. Personally, I don't think she should be too bothered by the fact she's not pregnant, since she doesn't want to be for another year (needs to get 2 years teaching to get her certification) and for pete's sake, she's not even really trying.

rant over. MIL apologized to DH for the stupid stuff she said, and is compensating by giving us money to christmas shop for the kids. We are fine with that :)

I get so annoyed when people discipline my kids when I am right there. I have gotten into verbal altercations with my SIL & BIL for this.

Talking about my SIL. So, she is a compulsive liar (I think that is the word) and has this weird obsession with my kids and my husband. She is my DH's brothers wife.

She lies about everything. She told my parents that her and my DH had a thing together before me, but it didn't work out. Never happened. My DH doesn't even remember her much way back when. She keeps calling my oldest "son!"  She has pictures of my oldest son, all over, and Mike (DH), but none of me, and she has none of the youngest yet, but she will.

She one minute is so nice, the next she is so strange. I can't put my finger on her. SO much has happened with her, I can't possebily write it all down. But one example is, she lies about my oldest a lot. One time camping my niece (their only child and its from BIL past one night stand) and my oldest were doing dishes, they couldn't find a towel and asked SIL where one was, she told them to just use paper towels (me and my MIL heard her say this) and my BIL comes i the camper and asked them why they are using paper towels, they told him SIL told them to use PT and she tlls BIL that this is not true that she never told them to use paper towels. She lied about my kid. I was LIVID!!!

Then another time when my DH took the oldest camping and BIL & SIL were there too. DH had to get some wood and oldest stayed behind with SIL and she told my DH that my oldest tried to hit her!! Also not true, my niece was with him and this never happened. 

She tells me stories about how she and Jordan Knight from the New kids on the block and her had a thing and wrote a song together that was on his album. So, out of curiosity I googled the song. HE didn't even write that song, and she as heck didn't either. 

She is a grown woman (33) and is making up stories about everyone and everything!

I have talked to her, I have gone off on her, she lives in her own world. She tells stories that don't add up. She is sick in her head!

I still have to see her on gatherings and tried to be friendly with her, and be her SIL, but I don't think I can anymore!

She wants to take me for a massage for my birthday, and where I would like a massage, I am just so hesitant to hang out with her alone. I think I am going to pass.

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by AnnieA 

akind1, that kind of stuff would make me angry too. My big kids try to micromanage Ava sometimes but I know why they try to do it so I just try to redirect. When an adult is doing it, ugh. Silliness. Thinking of you today JJ! Hope it goes by fast! OMG, you guys. DH tried to help with the diapers while I was at work last night. But he didn't ask me beforehand. So he dried some dipes in the dryer that had only been rinsed. YUCK! I soaked them all night in a full washer with a bit of water softener. I hope they aren't ruined!

Ugh.  A  good strip should do it!  I don't think they'll be ruined.  When we had the hurricane and lost power, I had dipes soaking.    I was trying to get them clean before power went out.  Well, i let them sit in gross poop water for about 2 days, then hand rinsed them all.  I had figured wet was better than dry but the ammonia smell was AWFUL and I didn't want it to eat thru the PUL.  I'm talking like a whole load of dipes - $200 worth at least!  They air dried b/c we didn't get power back for 5 more days.  I stripped them and now they are good as they were! So.  If they can survive that I THINK yours will be ok!

Originally Posted by EuroMama 

What do you give the one year old if you won't pump? Just curious. :-)

I was working p/t, and Nora was down to 1 4 oz bottle during the day for her nap.  We are vegan so I switched that 4 oz of breastmilk for fortified soy milk (since we don't use any animal milks). But I know plenty of moms who use either cow, goat, or even coconut or almond milk for during the day.

Finn sometimes gets a sippy with some soymilk or almond milk.  He LOVES almond milk!!

Originally Posted by EuroMama 

She wants to take me for a massage for my birthday, and where I would like a massage, I am just so hesitant to hang out with her alone. I think I am going to pass.

What a loon!  I would politely decline.  Who needs to hang around with that nonsense!  She's not even just embellishing, she's making crap up for craps sake.  

AFM - we busted out all the holiday stuff!  Hoping to get the tree set up in the stand and maybe lights on it today.  We'll see!  It's so much work!

Molar #3 is cutting thru and Finn has a nasty cold so it's been rough here.  Lauri - hugs on the whining!  We are having our fair share of that here as well.

Can we talk again about how to handle rough housing and hitting?  MW?  I'm so over it.  Nora keeps hitting and it's not even out of anger, it's out of excitement.  But my poor baby is getting hurt so often that it's really getting out of hand.  Thoughts?

Yesterday I was so desperate I resorted to telling her we only beat up/hit/punch/shove/kick bad guys!  And your brother isn't a bad guy! 

No, it didn't really work.  But we laughed and the tension dissolved.  Sigh.

This too shall pass, right?

Thinking of you JJ!  I hope you are able to enjoy parts of your day, even though it's so hard to be away from Ten! 

[Baby_Cakes]

Oh - and my chart.  CD18 and still no EWCM and barely an O pain.  Last night I thought for sure something was going to happen but my temps are still low.  This is probably what happened last month any why my cycle was longer.  C'mon eggie!  Lets go so we can move on?!?  Sigh.

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/1966df

[akind1]

Ack! family nonsense! drives me bonkers. Annie(EM) I wouldn't go either, or explain scheduling difficulties. maybe she'd spring for a gift certificate instead?

Carrie: maybe suggest alternative physical thing to do when she's excited? Hug Finn instead? Jump up and down? Stomp feet? Gabe hasn't been striking out as much at Norah, thank God, and I think our emphasis on having him use words first, and praising/noticing when he does (even if the words aren't really kind) has helped alot. I mean, sometimes he is just like, NO, GO AWAY!  or whatever, and that's not the nicest thing, but he's honest, and it alerts me I need to step in and move Norah.

He polices Norah sometimes (takes the remote away, or other thing she's not supposed to have), or tells her to get down off of things, and I don't mind so much. I'm trying to be careful with it, because as the oldest, it would drive me crazy when I'd do the same thing, then my mother would step in, holler at me for being bossy, then tell my sister to not do exactly what I just said. I understand she thought I was taking her authority or something, but to me, it seemed to send mixed messages to my sister - she never thought she had to listen to me, so when I was left "in charge" she refused to listen to what I had to say. So I try to say stuff like, "that's right, Gabe, Norah shouldn't have the remote. next time ask momma to help you, or come get me so I can help" I want to reinforce what the rules are, but try to be respectful of both of them. IDK if that's the best way to go, but it seems to be going ok so far. And sometimes I do enlist his help taking things away. He can catch her faster than I can :)

Carrie: chart stuff . . Finn is still nursing, so maybe that's just messing with your cycles? were they like that as Nora got older and still nursed?

Also: JJ? whoever asked - after age 1, I wouldn't pump either. Gabe was perfectly happy drinking water/milk/OJ when I was gone and eating solids. He'd nurse when I was home. Nothing wrong with choosing to pump  - I just really don't like it, and didn't see a need when breastmilk was no longer the majority of his diet. Norah of course weaned just shy of her birthday, but due to my pregnancy, she really upped her solid intake. I never supplemented with formula, but did start adding other milks (Coconut, Almond, Cow's) around 10 months as a drink option.

[MarineWife]

Annie ~ Does Ava have any teeth yet? I can't remember.

Dylan is on a strange sleep schedule. He sleeps for 4-5 hours for his first stretch at night but then he's constantly squirmy and restless for the rest of the night. The couple of times I've been completely exhausted and haven't gotten out of bed he has fallen back to sleep around 9 am or so and continues to sleep until at least noon. He's doing it now. I was able to get a couple more hours of sleep, from about 9-11, but I feel like I've missed most of the day.

Originally Posted by AnnieA 

It's akin to dealing with someone that has addiction issues or an addictive personality. They have very little ability to self-regulate. 1 of my older 4 is actually pretty good about self-regulating and not inflicting self-harm. She eats when she's hungry, not when she's bored, tired, angry, sad, etc. She goes to bed when she's tired. She goes to her room when she needs quiet time. She's pretty in tune with her body. My other ones, not so much. One child is obese. Yet continues to make poor food choices. Two are chronically tired to the point of severe bruises under their eyes but will insist, even as they are having trouble stringing sentences together or their eyes are half closed, that they are not tired and do not need to go to bed. People with addictive personalities engage in behavior even if it makes them feel bad while they are doing it or directly after doing it. It's very difficult for them to break the addiction cycle. Those are the types of things that I refer to when I say that some of my kids have trouble self-regulating.

Your kids have always been taught to listen to their bodies and they work from a place of abundance rather than scarcity so they have a very good handle on self-regulating. Probably even better than a lot of adults.

You periodically mention that their mother is unstable so I assume they don't get much help or guidance with such things from her. They most likely live in the type of environment where it's virtually impossible to learn to self-regulate in the way we are talking about. I think I've said before that is a very tough situation. It's hard enough sharing children with your own partner without throwing in having to also share them with a completely separate set of parents.

Ryan did not have the freedom to do that when he was young. I was very controlling with him in a lot of ways. It took a lot of years and struggles for him to start. A lot of people in my family thought he had a video game addiction because it seemed that all he wanted to do when he was a teenager was play video games. He did spend most of his time at home in his room doing just that but he also had friends and did things outside the home and he doesn't let it interfere with his work, like staying up all night playing or playing through when he is supposed to be at work or anything like that. Anyway, my point is that I've seen both sides of that kind of thing.

[MarineWife]

Carrie ~ Are you sure O wasn't on cd15 or 16? I see you didn't have any ewcf and are missing a temp but your temps did jump a lot higher on cd17 and 18. You can O with only creamy cf.

Is Nora fighting with Finn or just getting overly excited? Here's a link if it's fighting. http://sandradodd.com/peace/fighting

EM ~ I would not do anything alone with your SIL. I'd be afraid she'd make up some story about you and you'd have no witnesses to dispute it.

[Baby_Cakes]

Oh thanks for that article, MW.  Helps a bit.

Idk.  She gets over excited and hugs too hard/too rough and knocks him over.  Or she'll be excited for him for doing something, "YAYY FINN!" and just PUNCH him in the head.  WTH?  

Other times, fighting over a toy, sharing, etc, we figure it out.  But the exuberance and being so excited...idk what to do!  He needs to feel safe, too, like the article was saying.  

She also will just push him for "no reason" (b/c I know mw will say "but she has a reason, we just don't know it..").  Jealousy?  Possibly.  Probably.  

Sigh.

I'm trying to remember that I'm in control.  That her emotions are huge and she doesn't understand them all the time either.  I need to be her safe place and take all I can in so she can learn in a safe environment.

Last night as she was falling asleep next to me, she said, "Mom, please stay all night.  If I have any bad dreams, I'll just share them to you, and you can dream them for me, so I won't be scared."  She is amazing, really.  That just struck me on so many levels.  She wants me to take away the bad, she knows I can handle it -- and she also knows I'm there for her, and would totally do that for her (were it possible).  Children are as amazing as they are frustrating, aren't they?

RE: O day...idk.  I still feel random O pains and my temps should be higher than low 97s for post O.  I always get gobs of EWCM.  I'm going to keep an eye and just keep using protection obv.  

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by akind1 

He polices Norah sometimes (takes the remote away, or other thing she's not supposed to have), or tells her to get down off of things, and I don't mind so much. I'm trying to be careful with it, because as the oldest, it would drive me crazy when I'd do the same thing, then my mother would step in, holler at me for being bossy, then tell my sister to not do exactly what I just said. I understand she thought I was taking her authority or something, but to me, it seemed to send mixed messages to my sister - she never thought she had to listen to me, so when I was left "in charge" she refused to listen to what I had to say. So I try to say stuff like, "that's right, Gabe, Norah shouldn't have the remote. next time ask momma to help you, or come get me so I can help" I want to reinforce what the rules are, but try to be respectful of both of them. IDK if that's the best way to go, but it seems to be going ok so far. And sometimes I do enlist his help taking things away. He can catch her faster than I can :)

this is SO TRUE!  I like how you handle that.  

I love when Nora talks to Finn in that authoritarian voice.  She sounds so much like me it's scary.  Ha!  

[akind1]

I love seeing echoes of myself in my kids. Except when Gabe walks around with his hands on his hips like a pregnant woman . . . It's funny and cute, but really brings it to my attention. Gabe seems to like to tell Norah No . . .it's generally in appropriate circumstances, but the perplexed look on his face when she doesn't listen (Bc honestly, she doesn't really listen for anybody, LOL) is just hilarious.

Carrie: bless you for charting and TTA. I am so glad DH is getting snipped in January, well before the baby is born. It means I don't ever have to worry about whether or not we need condoms ever again. we can just enjoy sex for heck of it, no ttc or tta. That's one of the perks of pregnancy sex - no worries - I'm already knocked up! Especially when your cycles aren't predictable, I feel so much pressure when charting to know whether or not I'm fertile, and honestly, for the better part of the time, I have no freaking clue. Not because I don't understand the concept of charting, it's just with irregualar cycles/nursing/etc, everything seems that much more unreliable.

[AnnieA]

Baby_Cakes, have you noticed or been told that she has trouble directing her exuberance when she's playing with people closer to her age? For instance at school? Or does it just happen with Finn? I seem to recall you saying that you felt things got better when you had some more one on one time with you. When Finn is napping, can you guys play in her room or will that wake him? Can you do it in such a way so it feels like special time and not you trying to keep her from waking Finn? Sometimes, it's all about the mind game, you know?
 

[AnnieA]

I really like this book http://www.amazon.com/Hands-Are-Hitting-Best-Behavior/dp/1575423081/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1353964519&sr=8-1&keywords=hands+are+not+for+hitting and all the ones that suggestions off of that book as well are really good.

[MarineWife]

Annie ~ that link is funny because it says, "hands are hitting best behavior."

[AnnieA]

Originally Posted by MarineWife 

Annie ~ that link is funny because it says, "hands are hitting best behavior."

[onetwoten]

Bigger response later, but we survived! And I actually feel fantastic! Really tired, but it was a really good day. Saw people, interacted, had meals, peed by myself (!), used my two 45 minute busrides and breaks to catch up on internet stuff, and Tenley did -fantastic-. I dreamfed her this morning from 535-about 550, since she didn't wake up when I left the bed, and then I left at 6am, and Rob dressed her and took her over to Ashleigh's. He said she fussed when he tried to buckle her into the car, but I mean that's normal. Then dropoff was quick since he was running a bit late. Ashleigh said she played a little bit between 630-8am and then they left to take Ava to the bus (bundle in the stroller, which has this insane winter cover, so you don't even have to wear a jacket practically, and then it's really only 4 houses down), and she noticed her getting sleep. She slept from like 830-11am !!! When I called at noon, she'd just woken up and had a bit of lunch, and I could hear her babbeling away happily in the background. It was crazy!! And then she slept again from like 230 until 415ish when we got there, and when I went in to wake her up, she actually shoved me off and buried her face deeper a couple times! lol

So ummmm yeah... She NEVER sleeps that long, let alone TWICE in one day, AND without nursing! Blown away. Ashleigh said she played really well too, very calm and just kind of "oh, new stuff, let me look at this totally non-interesting thing for 15 minutes!"   It'll be interesting to see how Wednesday is, going back, if she starts to realize that this wasn't just one really fun day, that it's going to happen on a regular basis. 

And yeah, even now, we nursed when we got home, and then again just 10 minutes ago, but even then she wasn't super interested. I expected her ot be crazy nursing. Probably tonight I guess. She drank 3oz IN A BOTTLE today too, that I left. She never takes a bottle! 

I managed to pump 4oz at work, and then I didn't want to have too much in the bottle and it leak, so I stopped. But I did 3oz on the first side, which is my lower side, and then it slowed down, but wasn't even empty when I switched. And then an ounce on the second one, which is my heavier producer, so yeah, totally could have used the bigger bottle. I'll bring it tomorrow. I waited until 2pm to pump, and I could probably have gone a bit longer, but didn't want to get cuaght being full and sore on the bus home (around 345-430), so I pumped on my break. The setup should work ok, I'm using my boss's office, it's big, and it's quiet, so I pulled out my phone and read FB while pumping. I just need to bring some sort of bag to put the milk in, because today for instance I just left it in my bag, but if I had pumped earlier, I wouldn't be cool with doing that. We used to have a freezer in our back room, but we don't, so it has to go in the restaurant fridge. I feel weird leaving a bottle of freshly pumped breastmilk in the walk in fridge. lol. 

So I'm torn now though... I pumped those 4oz in about 20 minutes. I don't know now whether I should just get another manual pump, or a very basic single electric, since I was able to produce a lot better today. Or if it's still worth it to get the pump in style, for the increased time (Maybe I would have gotten that 4oz in 8 minutes, kwim?) I can't decide. 

Anyways, off to go spend time with the girl before she goes down for the night. Though with 4.5 hours of naptime, who knows what time that will be!!

[MarineWife]

JJ ~ Glad you both did so well!

[AnnieA]

Whoa. I'm now seeing the mobile MDC site on my Nook. It's....strange. Whoa.

Wonder if it will register new paragraphs now? Testing!

[AnnieA]

Ah! So excited! Ok, JJ, I'm so happy to hear your day went well! I'm interested to hear how she sleeps tonight. In my house, the better naps you take, the better you sleep at night.