November 2012 Rockstar Mamas! - Page 4

[AnnieA]

Originally Posted by onetwoten 

Ok guys... Especially Lauri, because I know you mentioned Ava had a reaction to the dtap-- Tell me about vaccine reactions. Tenley is still SO out of sorts, and both Rob and I admitted we're wondering if it's a response to the vaccine. It's her first shot of dtap-IPV, specifically Adacel. She had a tiny bit of fever the night she got it, but nothing otherwise, that was Friday. Saturday she had that 6 hour stretch (unheard of!!) and then for the rest of the night, was up almost constantly, aggrevated, crying, wanting to nurse, flailing around in the bed, and just generally very unsettled. She didn't have a stretch longer than 45 minutes or so for the rest of the night.

Since then, she's been so unsettled and fussy, all day, all night. No long stretches of sleep at night, or during her naps. She's fighting her naps like crazy. During the day, she's just acting off-- she won't focus on any of her toys for long, she'll cry, crawl up to me and flail herself at me, but then not actually nurse or anything, she'll jut want to stretch out and push into me. She won't really cuddle either, like as if she were sick. She's not nursing very long during the day, but also not eating much, though she's drinking tons of water. 

She also has by far the worst rash she's ever had- very red, actually bled a bit yesterday, and is now blistering. And, probably unrelated, but she keeps playing with her foot, though we can't find anything wrong with it, and if we touch it, it doesn't seem sensitive. 

So.... normal about-to-hit-a-milestone craziness, or should I be worried about vaccine reaction? She just seems so... off. Like yes, she's never been an easy baby, but these last few days again have been so horrible. She's needing constant attention and dedication, and even then, she's not happy. She's sitting right now playing with some play food, and it's the first time since Saturday that she's -really- played nicely on her own. Blah. I don't know what to do. We set up a playdate tomorrow, because I can't be alone with her in a mood like this for another day. It's driving me batty.

Sounds very much like a vaccine reaction. Ava's first Pentacel dose, she was feverish and cranky for a couple of days. Her second dose, it was worse. Fever spikes to 102 for the first couple of nights and general malaise for a week. But Ava has always reacted poorly to shots, even the Synagis shot that isn't really a vaccine and shouldn't cause the reactions that it did. When it was pre-repair, it would affect her O2 levels which make me think she was in pain. Does she act like she feels better when you give ibuprofen?

[onetwoten]

We gave Tylenol and didn't seem to change her behaviour at all. She seems to go crazy when we give ibuprofen normally (hyperactive and weird) so we haven't offered. Maybe ill give it a shot tomorrow during the day.

[akind1]

First of all, hello EM! Welcome. Don't ever worry about rambling. One of the reasons each of our months have so many pages is that we tend to write books, not posts.And we are just generally chatty people.

JJ: Hugs. I haven't ever given any shots, so have never dealt with a reaction. It sounds like, based on the others' desciptions, something that will pass, but in the midst of it, sucks big time.

I hope you hear from HR soon.

MW: glad Ethan got/gets to go to the ball. I know he's excited!

Carrie - love the image of Finn running around saying Boop! Boop!

Annie/Lauri - Ava is an old soul, can't expect her to act like a baby! Norah wants to do everything Gabe does which is problematic for 2 reasons. 1) she is younger and just doesn't have those physical abilities yet and 2) She isn't nearly as gifted in the athletic department as he is - I mean, the boy can do anything he puts his mind to He takes it slowly, thinks about, and just does - physically speaking. Norah's feet and hands get ahead of her head and she trips, slips, falls, and is just a klutz - like her mama. It's very frustrating. The falling and making mistakes is part of learning, but she doesn't make safe mistakes, iykwim. she makes ones that could cause serious injury. She dives for wet stairs and wants to go down them. Wants to climb over the back of the couch or jump of an end table. *sigh* she's more of a handful than Gabe was.

I would love to be a doula one day. I honestly have no desire to do LLL stuff. I have friends that are involved with them, and they like it, but I feel I don't need to attend meetings in order to trouble shoot - I have plenty of friends to help me. (If I should need it). I am glad there are those of you with that passion though, we need more of them!

Confession: I really miss nursing Norah. I have a feeling she'd latch if I offered, but I still think I really don't want to tandem, so would I be shooting myself in the foot? She seems find cuddling without that connection, but man. I didn't miss nursing Gabe AT ALL when he weaned during N's pregnancy. But then, I nursed him for 15 months. I didn't get to quite 12 with Norah. I am really torn. I see nursing toddler pics and they make me so sad. I mean, I am sure I will get there with this baby, bc he is the last one, but in the meantime . . . IDK. maybe it's just preggo hormones.

What are everyone's thanksgiving plans? We are doing someting small with DH's family Thursday, and my family is doing stuff on Friday - my sister is coming down for the weekend (shoot me now. I am almost serious) . . . and then nothing planned for the weekend, that I know of.

[onetwoten]

Just getting ready for a playdate, so I'll be quick, BUT-- My faith in my company is restored!! My direct boss   (It goes me, AFOM who has no power, FOM-Jane (the one who just came back from mat leave too), DOR- Bethany. Bethany practically runs the place, and then HR who I was talking to and getting no answers. Anyways-- Jane just called me, and had this total like "Ummm of COURSE we're going to take you back type thing. Apparently the only thing she was worried about was my doula work interfering, to which obviously I told her, well, no problem, because I don't have any doula clinets :/ lol Obviously if I do decide to take clients, she wants to know, but for now, I really think I'm just going to ride things out for a while. It's been really disheartening trying to find clients and getting -nothing-. Other than one couple I had a meeting with, I haven't had -anybody- seriously contact me that wasn't asking me to do it for free. 

Anywho... so yeah, She said she'll work on getting me on the schedule for end of November, working around or up to 25 hours, which is exactly what I wanted. When I sent in my availability I put 8am-1130pm mon-sat, and unavailable sunday. That way we have one dedicated day off together to spend as a family. She said she'll try to start with 3-4 shifts a week, so not full 8 hour shifts, which is nice, because I'll have more time at home with her. 

Phew. I just feel such a weight off my shoulders. She was like "we are SO glad you decided to come back" and kept telling me to just let her know absolutely if anything changed, if I needed anything, etc etc. I loved her as a boss before, but I have a feeling it's going to be -such- a good thing to also be going through the -newly-back-to-work-with-a-baby-a-home thing with her.  This is the boss that cried when I told her I was pregnant, and I found out later it was because she had just found out she was pregnant too, and was super emotional. 

Whew. Ok, I need to go or I'm going to miss my bus!

[Baby_Cakes]

HOORAY!!  That's fantastic news and great schedule to go back to!  Perfect!!!

How is miss tenley feeling today?  Any change?

re: thanksgiving - just going to whip up a few dishes and go eat at my ILs.  Chris has off the friday after, and there's a natural mamas meet up that day so I have options for black friday.  I never shop on black friday.  Insane.

AFM - babysitting today!  So far it's been easy.  Both kids have been napping for about an hour, lol!

I'm just glad I can help.  My friends DH was put on mandatory overtime this week and next, working 12 hour shifts (plus a 1 hr commute each way) so she's been on her own with a newborn and a 2 year old.  Her newborn had a dr appt today so I told her to drop off E.  At least she can get some time with just the little one and get lunch for herself and not worry about anything!  

I cleaned my whole house this morning.  So now while they nap I'm just sitting here on the computer, lol.

Kat - my 2 cents about the nursing.  Does she seem interested?  If she does, I would follow her lead.  I wouldn't let the fear of tandeming scare you out of possibly getting that connection back with N.  You can't let what might possibly happen in the future control what you do here and now.  I don't think it's shooting anything in the foot or opening any cans of worms, b/c you have regret already.  If you try, at least you won't have that "what if" in the back of your mind, you know?

That said, if she has moved on and isn't at all interested, take time to process your feelings on it and see what you can come up with.  

[akind1]

IDK if she's interested, honestly. She has taken to wanted to be cuddled in cradle hold, and when I lay her down for naps, she sticks her face in my armpit, so I think she still considers that area to be "home" on me (she doesn't seem to like to be held that way by anyone else) I feel like she has moved on . . . you KNOW how she eats - but she may miss it too. I will think on it some more and see what happens. I don't know if it's a fear of tandeming itself - I know IRL mamas that do - for one of them, it'll HELL. the toddler wants boobie ALL.THE.TIME. worse than the newbie. She kind of wishes she had weaned him now. (the squish is her 5th, so it's not like she's not btdt) The other friends toddler seems to only nurse when mama offers, and that seems reasonable. IDK which sort of toddler tandem nurser Norah would be. The first kind gives me the shivers. The second, I could totally deal with and manage.

And can I say, how AWESOME it is to know people that tandem nurse? and lots of people that nurse toddlers? when Gabe was a baby, I knew 1 person that nursed for more than 10 months. Just ONE. I am so happy to have found a network of friends that fit in more with my idea of normal.

JJ: so glad about your job! and I am sure you and Jane will do well together talking about baby things :) Hope Tenleyis doing better.

Carrie - yay for clean house! and quiet time to be on the computer!

[MarineWife]

JJ ~ Glad you got what you wanted from work.

They haven't gone to the ball yet. It's tomorrow night. They just went out last night to get Ethan a suit. DH had the idiocy to ask me if we had a suit for him. Considering we had already discussed that and looked at suits online and neither one of us bought anything, the answer would be no. He knew that. I don't know why he asks useless questions like that. I think it's his way of trying to tell me that we need to do something. Anyway, so a little later he's sitting in the den and he asks what size he should get. I told him he needed to take Ethan with him to try the suit on. He just sat there. I think he was actually expecting me to go out and get the suit.

Apparently, he told both Ryan and Ethan that he is going to heart-broken that I'm not going. He'll be the only one there without a spouse and he'll have to stand around somewhere by himself. WTH? First, he has never expressed any kind of feelings like that to me. He just grunts and shrugs or gets angry. Second, going back to the very, very beginning, if it was that important to him, why didn't he make it happen? And, if he tried and couldn't, why is he mad at me about it? I wasn't in control of picking a weekday or having it an hour and a half away or anything else. I don't even know what to say about the fact that he would feel like that, say something to Ethan about it, and not say something to me. So, Ethan is all upset at me for not going so I had to tell him that DH only got two tickets so only one of us could go.

[Baby_Cakes]

You know what makes me wonder?  If you know how he is  and you know how he acts, instead of getting angry about it can you accept him for it and just either be outspoken, or take care of it?

Here I am being all marriage counselor when we have our own issues, I know!  But learning to accept and appreciate our SO's faults and compensate for them is sort of part of being in a relationship, right?

Not the same, but I used to HATE that DH would rip the junk mail in half and then leave piles all over the place.  Now I just expect him to.  I expect to have to put his junk mail in the bin.  I could choose to get mad about it and rail at him and say, "WHY DO YOU DO THAT??" but instead I just toss it.  It's something I've almost come to love.  Like an endearing trait.  LOL.

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes 

You know what makes me wonder?  If you know how he is  and you know how he acts, instead of getting angry about it can you accept him for it and just either be outspoken, or take care of it?

I'm not mad. I'm mostly hurt and frustrated/confounded. I had no idea he had any feelings like that about it because he never told me or showed me in any way. I don't know what he expects me to do. I don't think it's fair for him to hold me responsible and be angry with about it when he doesn't tell me what's going on inside of him. I can't read his mind. KWIM?

So, it's not that I knew he hid feelings like that. I didn't know he had any like that in the first place. I don't know how I can take care of it if I don't know what's going on. I have been very outspoken about him talking to me, telling me what he's thinking or feeling or planning. If he won't do that, what am I supposed to do?

I can accept the situation but I cannot accept him being angry with about things that are out of my control. It's not fair to me.

[EuroMama]

Every time I try to respond the baby is awake. I will respond tonight when he is in bed. :)

Since he started to walk he has not been napping. :/

[EuroMama]

Akind1 - Thank you for the welcome. :-)

I also understand your feelings of missing nursing. I am dreading the day he weans.

I LOVE nursing him and plan on nursing for a long time. I'll probably carry him to college in the Ergo and nurse him in between classes. *SARCASM*

You could try to nurse her see if she is interested. If she is, wonderful, if not and she has moved on, be proud of yourself. You have given her the very best for (insert months, years.) :)

JJ- Glad things are working out with work.

MW - HUGS! Not knowing your whole story of course, I understand why you're upset. It upsets me when people act like you're supposed to know what they are thinking at all times. You are not a mind reader. He should have told you how he felt so you could have dealt with it at that time.

Carrie - My DH drives me batty with the stuff he leaves laying around, like the mail by the front door that gets piled up. However, I keep reminding myself that he does do a lot of awesome things, like cook dinner on his days off, take trash out, etc etc etc. He does his part in the house. So, I try to remind myself that its just mail, a lot of it that may, or may not ever get thrown away.

We had a busy day. Eddie has been walking like a drunk man for a few days now, has bumps and bruises. I feel so anxious during this time of learning how to walk. I don't like him falling and bumping his head. I know its a part of learning how to walk but it leaves me feeling super alert and anxious.

I also constantly feel like my house is not safe enough. Just when I think I have something put away, hidden away etc HE finds something that is a potential danger. Ahhhhh. 

We weighed Eddie today and he is 23 lbs. All on mama milk. He is just now really eating other foods.

I feel so proud of this as with my oldest son I gave up nursing too soon. I quit when my milk came in and it hurt. I didn't have an awesome Lactation Consultant then either as I did/do now.

I gotta go because Eddie is trying to ride the cat like a horse.............!

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by MarineWife 


I'm not mad. I'm mostly hurt and frustrated/confounded. I had no idea he had any feelings like that about it because he never told me or showed me in any way. I don't know what he expects me to do. I don't think it's fair for him to hold me responsible and be angry with about it when he doesn't tell me what's going on inside of him. I can't read his mind. KWIM?
So, it's not that I knew he hid feelings like that. I didn't know he had any like that in the first place. I don't know how I can take care of it if I don't know what's going on. I have been very outspoken about him talking to me, telling me what he's thinking or feeling or planning. If he won't do that, what am I supposed to do?
I can accept the situation but I cannot accept him being angry with about things that are out of my control. It's not fair to me.

Gotcha, and I completely agree!  I thought you knew what he was thinking/doing and just decided not to do anything about it.  But I understand now.  Yes, that is frustrating and would really make me upset.

Originally Posted by EuroMama 

Every time I try to respond the baby is awake. I will respond tonight when he is in bed. :)

Since he started to walk he has not been napping. :/

Oh yes - those developmental milestones really screw up sleep.  Hang in there!!

Originally Posted by EuroMama 

We had a busy day. Eddie has been walking like a drunk man for a few days now, has bumps and bruises. I feel so anxious during this time of learning how to walk. I don't like him falling and bumping his head. I know its a part of learning how to walk but it leaves me feeling super alert and anxious.

I also constantly feel like my house is not safe enough. Just when I think I have something put away, hidden away etc HE finds something that is a potential danger. Ahhhhh. 

We weighed Eddie today and he is 23 lbs. All on mama milk. He is just now really eating other foods.

I feel so proud of this as with my oldest son I gave up nursing too soon. I quit when my milk came in and it hurt. I didn't have an awesome Lactation Consultant then either as I did/do now.

Yay for 23 lbs and for a new walker!   Glad you pushed thru engorgement and are feeling super proud.  It's an amazing feeling to nurse a baby into toddlerhood and beyond!  

Bumps and bruises happen.  We call them adventure marks!  :-)  It's a good thing kids tend to bounce!  

[AnnieA]

JJ, so happy things are working out in the job situation. That has to be a huge weight off your mind. Hope Ten is feeling better.

akind1, I can see how you would be concerned but Norah has never been a super boob monster has she?

MW, I'm sorry. No advice but lots of hugs. That stuff has to be frustrating.

Baby_Cakes, you need to bring some of your excess energy down to my house!

EM, yeah bumps and bruises...lots of that with new walkers!

AFM, Ava and I went to a LLL meeting this morning. Mostly because I needed to get her out of the house and around other people. She loved it! There was another baby there that kept trying to tackle her and she would just sit there while it was happening but then when he would turn his back and start to crawl away, Ava would clock him in his back...hahahaha! Another mama came up to me afterward and said "She looks like she's a firecracker!"...yep, pretty much!

[akind1]

Norah was a super boob monster until she discovered real food :)  and not long after that I got pregnant, I think the last time she nursed was a week before her birthday, and before that it had been days, just off and on.  I offered last night when I knew she was cranky and tired, and what does the little monster do? pinch my nipple! So, the boobie went away and I wore her instead, LOL. Thanks for the support guys, I guess I am really more bummed than I thought that she weaned, even though INTELLECTUALLY I wanted her to. Doesn't help my photog friend takes GORGEOUS breastfeeding shots and I have been seeing those pop up. IDK if any of you have liked the Beautiful Breastfeeding page on FB? but Resh's work often shows up on there - the mamas she takes pictures of are also friends. She is Blue Silk Photography. Carrie, she does New York Trips a couple times a year to visit family . . . just in case you want some gorgeous shots. (she does more than just breastfeeding - she says what she does is lifestyle photography. It's not staged or studio). She's doing my maternity photos in January and I am so looking forward to it!

Sorry - had to give a shout out to a great friend.

MW: I hate when people assume I know what they are thinking. My sister does this all the time. Wayne less so, He tells me stuff but honestly I am obviously not always paying attention, so it's not all his fault. Othertimes we are both guilty of assuming the other spouse knows what we know . . .and yeah.

He cleaned the house yesterday - it looks great! except for the kitchen . . . he ran out of time. (I am telling you, frequent DTD has its benefits LOL)

EM: sleep does always suck around milestones. hang in there! Will he sleep if you wear him? sometimes they just need to be held still for a bit. And 23 lbs! go mamamilk! Norah is only a couple months older and she's somewhere between 19-20 lbs. She wiggles too much on the baby scale to get a really accurate weight. How tall is he? Bumps and bruises are par for the course with a new walker, and a boy, but I'm sure you know that!

I wanted to take the kids outside for a bit today, but it's rainy and nasty :( Tomorrow I need to grocery shop, bake, and decorate Gabe's cake pops and cake. Saturday morning is his party. Sunday is church and pictures, and I still havent figured out what the kids are wearing for those. Busy! Then of course Thanksgiving and Black Friday . . . I will be so glad once Christmas is over and there is time to rest!

[AnnieA]

akind1, I just have to say that you are a rockstar mama! When you list out all the things you are going to do or have done, it makes me want to curl up and take a nap! Especially if I were pregnant! Your kids are so lucky to have your for their mama!

[onetwoten]

^^^ yes seriously! Two young ones, plus working, plus all the outings an tasks you do, plus livin with family and all that associated stress-- you are Doug fantastic mama. An you take it all so in stride!

Had a good play date yesterday and ten came home as got some house organized. Going to try to keep up the momentum today. Wish me luck!

[akind1]

Oh, living with my family is no stress. If anything, it's less. we divvy up cooking and meal planning, mom helps with child care when she can, it's no big deal. Living with the ILs... more stress than I can say.

And all the activities . . . staying in the house makes us all go crazy. We go out and stay busy to maintain some sanity. I love the experience, but listing it out is exhausting!

I need to get Gabe out of the house today. He needs to run and climb, but it's been raining, and I am not sure where to take him to release that energy. He has already broken a glass bowl and knocked over a decorative tree. Neither out of deliberate disobedience or anything, just an overabundance of impatience and energy. (the bowl fell out of the fridge when he was trying to get himself a drink). I have since blocked off the kitchen.

[Baby_Cakes]

We also need to get out of the house!  when I'm tired I'm always like, Ugh we are so having a lazy day at home, and then the day starts with all the crazies and I'm like we've GOT to get OUT OF HERE!!  LOL!

I think we'll go food shopping.  That's easy enough.  Just need to make a list.

Made tofu scrambler for breakfast and Nora scarfed it and asked for more.  She must be having a hollow day. 

Then finn grabbed her mug of christmas milk (silk nog) and dumped it everywhere.  Was the perfect time to learn we are out of paper towels.  

I need more coffee.  Finn woke up and needed to be rocked every hour from 3 am til 6.  Finally at 630 I just got up and got the day started.  At least he slept from 830 pm til 3 soundly!  

[akind1]

My kids have been eating lots today too, Eggs, whole foods waffles, yogurt, bananas . . .now frozen pizza for lunch. I think it's nap time. going out will have to wait.

[MarineWife]

i think dylan has a cold, which might explain his recent fussiness and clinging. he didn't have any obvious signs before but last night he started sounding raspy and has now been coughing some.

he also got another tooth. idk how long it's been there. i gave up looking at least a week ago so now it pops through, of course.

he was so funny yesterday. he was purposely trying to get my goat. he had something in his mouth but wouldn't spit it out. every time i tried to get it he bit me, so i gave up. then he came up to me and stuck it out with his tongue. i shrugged. so he took it out of his mouth and held it out to me, got a sheepy little smirk and popped it back in his mouth and ran away. When that didn't get me up and chasing him, he grabbed some yarn and ran around to show me that he had it. I didn't care about the yarn. It was just scraps. He tried again, holding it out toward me and waving it in my face. I just said something like, "Oh, I see you have some yarn." He then proceeded to wrap himself up in so that it was getting all twisted and tangled. He was sure that would get me because usually I freak if he touches my yarn. It was so funny to watch him purposely trying to get me.

I think he's saying a lot more words. It sounds like he's saying "cat" and/or "that" and "what's that?" They sound like, "ta", "da" and "wassa". Maybe he's saying "dis" too but I'm not quite sure on that one.

DH and Ethan are off to the ball. They had to leave really early because dh has to do a rehearsal. He never did say anything about being hurt or sad that I wasn't going. I hope he remembers to get some pictures. I told him to and I asked Ethan to remind him.

I still can't find my phone. I'm so upset about that. I want to cry. I have insurance so I can get it replaced but I want MY phone, especially since I had just gotten a really cool case for it!