I'm mostly a lurker here, but this is something I really need input and would like to hear your opinions.
This is a unplanned pregnancy, while I was really wanting a baby we did not plan it at all. Given that this is not planned everything seems like chaos right now. My work requires me to be away from home in the field ( read hostile environments for a baby) for long periods of time. So as you can imagine having a baby and being pregnant is going to limit my work.
My dh is currently studying so there is no way for me to stop being productive, it's me who supports the house financially. Even when I see several options while I'm pregnant and after the baby is born, I'm feeling really... unbonded to this baby.
This is my third pregnancy, and I have never had any health problems in my previous pregnancies, but his is the second week I feel nauseaous and sleepy and grumpy.. an dyou name it.
I think my symptoms come from my un-bonding with this baby. We watched a homebirth video on youtube the other night, and I felt like... naaa I don't have time or energy for that, let alone a baby.
I'm sure I'm not the only one feeling this way. I just don't want to have a baby right now, I feel bad physically, I guess I'm stressed out to death, and I feel bad morally for not wanting this baby. Do you have any suggestions to work this feeling out. Termination of the pregnancy is not an option.
I appreciate your input.