Anyone work as a sibling doula?

[maydaymom10]

I feel like I've been posting a lot lately, and thank you for answering all of my questions. 

I've just been invited to be a sibling doula at a friend's birth. She has a 3 yo body and is giving birth at the birth center when I delivered my son. I've trained and attended some births as a labor doula (just starting out), and although I have a general understanding of what a sibling doula does, I'm hoping to get some more understanding.

I'm just curious if you could share what you do if you offer these services -- before, during & after birth. Also, if you've used a sibling doula for a birth, what things were particularly helpful for you child?

Thank you so much!

[tessamami]

I had a homebirth, 4 years ago. DD was about 8. Present were: me, my husband, my daughter, and the doula that I hired to help me. Turns out that no one was there, long. Doula and midwife were there just 2 hours. New baby was born at around midnight.

My daughter got support from everyone, there. Except from me, I was kinda busy. When it came to pushing, my daughter was in the other room. Then, she came in when baby was born. So I did not have a dedicated sibling doula. It wasn't an issue, for me. That said, a three-year old has needs that need to be met. The 3 yo may sleep, during the birth. But who knows? The 3 yo will need food or snacks or water or bathroom help. Maybe help in getting to sleep.

Honestly? The doula prep part in this situation sounds less important than knowing what do with a 3 yo. If you have babysat this age group before, you prob know everything that you need to know. If there are any gaps, for you - ask the parents what kind of help their 3 yo might need. Get to know this kid before the birth, a little bit - if you can.

Hope this helps.

[maydaymom10]

Thank you! This mama is a friend of mine and I have a son who is about 6 months younger than her son. We go to play groups together, so I've gotten a chance to know him a bit. And yes, there are definitely some differences in the developmental progress of our kids (like potty training), but overall he and my son are similar, which is why I was comfortable taking the job. Honestly, there is some selfishness in this as my son will be attending my own homebirth of his little sister in March and he will be around the same age :) 

[tessamami]

:)

[tiqa]

At one of the births I attended we had a little boy about 4-5 years old.  He was remarkably well behaved.  It was a hospital birth and although I wasn't in charge of him (I was just helping his mom, mostly) there were some times when I took him out for a bit for a walk or a snack when mom and dad wanted some privacy.  Dad and I took turns looking after him during labor - he was a good "excuse" for Dad to get away for a few minutes when things got intense with the labor, and I stayed with Mom, while Dad regrouped down the hall at the vending machine or whatever.  Kiddo was there for the actual pushing, not bothering anyone, just looking.  Then after the birth I also took him out for a bit so mom and baby could bond and he could get some rest.  It was late and he fell asleep after that. 

4-5 is developmentally older than a 3 y.o. and I'm not surprised they'd want someone there full time for support.  I think it's excellent, especially if it's late hours and the kid needs to sleep and/or if he or she gets scared during pushing and needs to be taken outside, or if there's an emergency, etc.  I tried to find a person like that for my kids as well for my own upcoming birth but didn't find anyone unfortunately.  =/

[phathui5]

tiqa, What area are you in? Maybe we can help you find someone.